Every human endeavor has its share of heroes and villains...
this site included.  Time will tell the ultimate tale, I suppose, 
but it is my hope that when the dust settles, I'll be more in the 
"hero" category than villain....perhaps not, but I'm hopeful.  
It's no secret to the small band of stalwarts who have been with me 
since these pages first began coming together....we've had our share 
of hardships, ups, and downs just trying to keep this place more or 
less running, but it is my hope that the darkness is behind us and 
fading quickly, leaving us with smooth seas and wonderful adventures 
ahead.

And despite several bouts of uncertainty along the way on my part, 
one thing I am, and have always been sure of, is this:  If this 
humble collection of pages you are now perusing ever had a hero....
ever had one strong, pure voice to speak up for it, then that voice 
would belong to a very dear friend of mine, Kalle.  She has no idea 
I'm planning this, and will likely be quite surprised to see a link 
and page bearing her name, but I hope the surprise is a pleasant
one, and brings a smile to her face.  Kalle....Kim, for all that 
you have done for me....for your friendship and your tireless, 
unflagging support of this place you helped me breathe life into, I
place your works above my own so that all may read and enjoy.

And a note to all who come later to read this page, you're in for 
a treat!  Not only is our Lady Kalle a wonderfully talented poet 
(as you will soon see), but a warm, gentle, caring spirit all
around....always quick with a word of encouragement, and always 
seeming to know just how to make things better.  Kalle, thank you 
for being....you.

-----<-@
-Chris
-=Vel=-

---

*This is my first poem I feel brave enough to post...So those of 
you whom I have talked to about my writing knows this is a big step 
for me. And thanks for the encouragement. Especially you Daniel. 

Sometimes

There are little children in this world 
Whom with their smiles they show you 
That the world can be bright and Cheerful 
And that the outside forces are not as strong... 

There are moments in time 
If frozen 
You know in your heart they should last a lifetime 
If not in real life..they do in your heart.... 

There are mistakes that we make 
When we think no one is looking 
And that they will only hurt "us" 
But how wrong you were, and you know that now... 

There are decisions that must be made 
And you know that once they are 
Your world will never be the same 
And neither will the precious child 

And most of all there is love to give 
In silent and simple ways 
In large and grand ways 
And in the smallest ways of all 

In all, We make our mistakes 
And the mistakes we make become our future 
As well do the successes we have 
But sometimes others pay a higher price than you... 

You think you know it all 
You think you have done things the best anyone could have 
but you can not protect the ones you love most 
From the mistakes that were not theirs..but yours 

So sometimes others feel the pain 
The pain that should have been yours alone 
Made because you knew it all 
And because sometimes you can not protect the ones you love. 

*This is dedicated to a special child. My middle one. 


Friendship

A friend is someone whom when asked 
Is there without a question.. 
and asks you not 
how long they will be needed. 

A friend is the love one you pick 
whom if you are lucky 
They stay with you through 
every obstacle life throws you way. 

When thinking of my dear friend 
I do not think of all 
the deeds she has done for me 
nor the ones I have done for her. 

I do not think of the favors 
forgotten 
or owed 
As we have not kept a "tally". 

I think of the laughs 
the tears 
the secrets 
and the private jokes. 

I consider my best friend 
my private treasure 
As everytime I look around 
I see her there asking 

Not how long she will 
be needed, 
Nor what I will need 
Just simply says "I am here". 

And after a long day 
of chasing kids 
handling small and large crisis 
I reach for the phone. 

I find that she did 
As well and left a message 
Simply saying 
"I prayed for you today". 

*(to my friend... you know who you are) 


it brews

With a clatter 
It falls to the floor 
Who knows what is was 
Or what it was to be 
for it became something 
bigger than planned. 

If you wonder off 
And find it laying somewhere 
Show it how to find it's 
Way to the home 
It should have known was there. 

It comes to bravery 
to honesty 
and to truth 
For the item to return 
to it's rightful home. 

But through it's travels 
it will find many friends 
who all clattered 
to the floor 
of life. 

That which will set it apart 
Will be the road 
it ultimately decides to take. 
The high road of ease 
Or the harder road of respect.


Count Them

I look around and count, 
The blessings that are untold. 
As many times we can count 
The ones that are obvious. 

I look to my mother 
and recall with a grin 
All the dirty "piggies" 
She counted with glee. 

I look to my children 
And I see 
All the smiles and hugs 
not counted by me. 

I look to those I love 
And see all 
the small things 
I did not always see 

I look to my friends 
And within them 
I see all the 
little things they ask of me. 

My gifts I give 
and count not me 
As I believe with 
each gift, they return in threes. 

As each blessing of 
"Piggie" count, 
"smiles and hugs" 
"small things" 
I count them not you see. 

As they are treasures 
To my heart. 
And there 
they shall always be.


A Wish

*This one is a bit different for me.. but lately my head has been 
in the clouds.. :-)  (and was fun to write) 

A wish is something you make 
in the wind 
on the beach 
or near the river. 

You make it while driving down the road 
while sitting alone 
while thinking out loud 
Or to yourself. 

A look at the clouds 
Shows wonderful sculptures of today 
And promises of tomorrows 
With sprinkles of yesterday. 

A look at the heart 
shows sadness from mistakes 
joys from success 
and glows from promises yet to be fulfilled. 

A look at the soul 
Shows strength from within 
Love from above 
And a bright shining light of your tomorrows. 

And a look in the mirror 
Shows a person you show to all 
with the twinkles in the eyes that shine 
Of happiness that was thought loss. 

As a wish is made 
A new sculptured cloud appears 
With a promise of tomorrow 
Shaped like the flowers given freely by an admirer. 

As the simple wish was for wild flowers planted by the wind and given 
with friendship on a whim. 
And by some wonderous luck 
The clouds agreed that such a wish be granted.


The Spirit of One

As you walk through this life you learn 
That there is only One you need to please. 
You can strive to please others, 
And that is well and good. 
However in the end, 
It is the one, whom is most important. 

As the one lives with you daily, 
Acknowledges you, 
Abides by your actions 
And quietly counsels you. 

In the end it is the Spirit 
Of the one that must be pleased. 
As you can tell others that you do this or that for them 
However it is in the end what you do for your soul, 
"the spirit of the one" 
that sets you apart in thine own heart and mind. 

As you alone live with the decisions you make. 
You know your own faults, 
Your own accomplishments, 
Your own disappointments, 
And your own Joy.


Inventory of the Heart

To see the sparkle in your eyes 
even if only in a picture, 
Warms my heart to it's core. 

To hear the laughter 
In your voice, 
makes my heart 
sing and race at the sound of it. 

To feel your love in my heart 
Even through the distance that seperates us, 
It's more than we can handle at times. 

But in the dark hours of the night, 
When I sit alone in my world, 
I search my heart 
And I find you there.


My Child

As I carry you in my womb, 
I think of all that I have to give. 
Will I be strong enough when needed? 
will I give you as You so deserve? 

I think of all the children, 
The ones wanted and the ones forgotten. 
On this day, as I lay here with my belly swollen from you, 
I know that you will forever be my treasure. 

As with love I conceived you, 
With love I have carried you, 
With love I will give birth to you, 
And with love I will always be with you. 

The love you have blossomed in my heart, 
Surpasses that felt for others, 
or myself. 
As starting tomorrow with your birth, I will be your devoted mother. 

****I wrote this part, above on October 18, 1984, My son was born the 
next day**** 

As I look at the joy you have given me, 
I think not what my life would have been without you, 
As without you it would be nothing. 
Being your mom has made me whole. 

I had no directions when you arrived, 
With your love in your eyes you taught me what I needed to know. 
As I have learned much by your hand, 
About love, compassion and strength. 

You will always be my little man. 


For you 

In your dreams 
As you dream tonite 
Know that I am with you 

I am the touch you feel 
on your hand 
When it hangs by your side. 

I am the wind you 
feel on your cheek 
As that is where I kissed you 

I am the caress you 
feel on your arm 
As that is where I held you 

I am the whispers 
you hear 
When all is still and quiet 

As I am with you 
Missing you 
As you miss me. 

With each breath 
I inhale, 
I look for you. 

With each breath 
I exhale 
I look for you 

Only to discover I 
need not look far 
As you are holding my hand. 


Road Less Travelled

With time we find the chances we thought would never be ours. 
We find the road less traveled was always ours to take, 
However look at the potholes of the unkept trek, 
As a heart never tended, wilts without care. 

So we travel, picking up the roots of what once was 
To find the roots of all that can be. 
Only to see that one alone can not make a journey, 
As it likely will take the two. 

So we look about us, 
And see the remnants 
Of the love left shattered at our feet, 
Did we leave this mess for another? 

Then we walk on, 
What have we here? 
Sunshine from the setting of the sun, 
Or light from the sunrise of the break of day? 

As we follow the trail, 
We see many whom have come before, 
And for reasons unknown, 
Dare not to travel more. 

And then we see the reason, 
The reason for what has become, 
The most important journey of this lifetime, 
Do we dare ask for more? 

As we are now unable to resist, 
Is there more? 
Or have the treasures seen to this point, 
All the trail holds?


A Beautiful day full of the Small Things 

Many times in life we see about us all the things that are apparent. 
We see daily the fruits of our labor, 
As we take care of our daily tasks as we see them. 
However, many times we dare not see the things that are there. 

Do you see the sunrise over the ocean, or in the horizon? 
Do you see the flowers in bloom on the side of the road? 
Do you see the the sunset in the early evening as it lights the skies? 
Do you smell the rain, as it falls on a hot summer day? 
Do you smell the scent to freshly cut grass? 
Do you smell the honeysuckle as it blooms in the summer? 

These are but few things that money and effort can not buy. 
Just a glimpse of the daily life around you that goes on 
Without a concern of your day, whether it is good or bad. 
As I sit in my favortie spot at the river, 
I can not help but see the beauty of the day 
With the knowledge that life goes on with a beat all it's on. 

So blessed are the small things we forget to see 
In our hurry to amass the larger ones we can easily see. 
Let us not forget that as large as our day is, 
This and more is around us. 
And no matter how small we may feel in our world, 
We are important in the life of another.


Thoughts of a good day bring a smile to my face, 
Thoughts of a sad day inevitably brings a deep sigh to my heart, 
and at times a tear to my eye. 

In between there are many thoughts that just are. 
They are not bad, nor good 
they have no life of their own, 
They have no personality as well. 

When thinking of how I was wronged years ago by another, 
I simply Sigh.. as to think otherwise gives this thought 
power to destroy who I am. 

When thinking of the joy I share with my children over the years, 
I smile a happy smile.. 
knowing for a second all the world was grand for my children. 
And I pray they will see the same when they look back at the 
thougths as well. 

When I think of things that happened in my life.. 
that were not pretty, 
I delve into the negative stream.. 
and pull out something positive.. no matter how small. 

When I think of you in my life.. 
I dare to smile.. and wonder...What is next..And are we ready? 
And know that no matter the obstacle my heart is true. 

When I think of people around me whom I have grown to 
know as friends and see the 
struggles their daily life brings, 
I take a deep breath, extend my hand.. and say together we shall band.. 
and work this out within ourselves. 

But most of all when I spend my time thinking of things that 
fleet through my mind, 
I think of the positive forces my life does now bring...
And thank my guardian angel...
for sitting on my shoulder all these years.


The Sun, The ocean, The Beach

As we walk along the beach, 
It is the sun that greets us with the beauty before us, 
As without the light of the sun to guide our way, 
Would we see the beauty of the ocean? 

As you walk on the beach, 
You can not help but see the power of the ocean, 
As it has swept away many a shell, 
And many a thought of worry. 

So as you look over the ocean, 
And the sand between your toes, 
You see the horizon in the distance, 
With water as far as it goes. 

If only you could touch the spot where the two meet. 
To see the vivid seperation of the sky 
And the ocean, 
Is to know that there are infinite possibilities for all troubles. 

As with each incoming wave, 
Another washes out. 
To leave a clean slate behind 
Where there was a footprint.


Conflicting Emotions

Emotions pull to the surface 
When you thought they were safe and hidden. 
Where did they come from, 
How did they get here? 

With them comes remembered pains 
And the heartbreaks the pains bring. 
When will they end their hold 
When the soul has no more to bare? 

One by one they greet you 
Telling you that they are there. 
One by one you deal 
With pain you thought had been beared. 

As this time it feels different 
Could this be the time for real? 
When the nasty heartbreak you felt 
Can no longer hurt you still? 

If with time you gain perspective, 
And with perspective you gain Knowledge, 
Then could it be that with knowledge you gain Forgiveness? 
Does this mean you finally gain the grace to forgive? 

As to forgive yourself for your follies, 
So easier said than done, 
would mean they can no longer hurt you 
When the dragging out is done.


*A tribute to four very loved elderly family members...
and my respect to them for the battle they now fight. 

As the road winds...there is an end. 
An end to the joy, 
The laughter, 
And the beginning of tears. 

We who stand behind and watch the travel, 
Cry heartbroken tears at what has become. 
To see the eagle who has flown on his own for years, 
Now Rest in his nest, saddened...as he can no longer soar. 

To see the mate, whom has been loyal, 
The wind beneath his wings, 
Sit and have no longer the ability to be that wind. 
Places ones heart on broken shards of glass. 

To see the gazelle 
That could run with the best..and outdo them all, 
Now sit in a home, and not know his name, 
But he knows he is no longer home. 

To see the the Clown, 
The one whom always gave you laughter, 
Taught you the true meaning of pride, 
Be a broken man...goes without words. 

As I sit at my mark on the winding road, 
The road of life, 
I see the value of the dear souls that are fighting their final battle, 
And I know, they know my heart. 
As without each of them, I would not be who I am. 

So the thought is this... 
If you strive to be who you are everyday, 
And honor those you love daily by your words and actions, 
You will be blessed as I have been...by seeing the joy 
in the eyes of the Eagle, The Wind, 
The Gazelle and the Clown...as they are proud of what I have become. 

The Eagle...My beloved Grandfather 
The Wind...My beloved Grandmother 
The Gazelle...My dear Uncle...He fights his battles of WWII daily 
in his mind. 
The Clown....My dear Uncle...He sits all alone now.


*A very Proud tribute to a very dear man 

The Eagle 

He has flown like an eagle through our lives, 
He has shown the child how to dream, 
How to work, 
How to think, 
How to worship, 
How to laugh, 
How to go on after each obstacle. 

In return, 
He has been shown our love, 
Our respect, 
Our constant vigilance, 
Our unwavering support, 
Our humor, 
Our time, 
We have given him what he craves for, his family. 

When we see his current resting, 
We come to him, 
As he used to come to us. 
When we watch his eyes mist over, 
We wipe the tears, as he wiped ours. 
When we see him lose faith, 
We show him the faith we have in him. 
When he believes he has no value, 
We show by our actions the priceless value he holds in our heart. 

Not once in his flight, as our Eagle, 
Has he lost his faith in the children he holds so dear. 
He would look at me as a child, 
And smile at my antics. 
As a young adult, 
He would counsel me on what was right. 
As a mother, 
He has reassured me as I faltered. 
As his granddaughter, 
He has shown me the priceless value of love.


Just Simply a Woman 

To the Children I hold dear, 
I am the woman whom has the final answer, 
The answer to the questions that are important. 
Do you have any money? 
What is for dinner? 
Can we go ...here..or there...? 
And the answers, come with a dose of maternal Love. 
(With each I love you's treasured) 

To the Mother I hold Dear, 
I have been the source of much turmoil, and love. 
As a young lady I challenged her rules, like no other. 
As a young mother, I slowly learned her value. 
As I have matured, I treasure her counsel, support and love. 

As a sister, 
I have been blessed by three. 
The older one showing me constantly the values we hold dear. 
Our private humor and love of Elvis. 
Our private pains, no other knows as well. 
Our unwavering love we both know well. 
As we wear our love as an armor...daring anyone to doubt us...
As we are united. 

As a partner, 
I have found and lost love. 
I have seen the joy in the eyes of another, and seen it fade. 
I still dare to test my fates. 
As now I stand ready to try again, with my Dear One I hold to my heart. 
Will the happiness so well eluded, be mine found? 
It is my undying hope. 

As a friend, 
I have given my all to those I hold to my private realm. 
As without their unwavering love and support, I would have been lost. 
As with each day I reach for my friend, and make a call, 
with a smile and a joke. 
Or a dropped line to another, that without their unending support, 
I would have been lost several times over. 
As without the friendship of the few held dear, 
life would be less than grand. 

I am a woman, 
I have my faults, But I give my all. 
I have given of my heart, even against all odds. 
I have loved, and been loved. 
I love, and am still loved. 
I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a partner, and a friend. 
I am simply a woman.


Building Hopes and Dreams
I once sat on a bench and thought what will I become? 
I had lost my present, and have yet to find my direction. 
Then I stumbled, and thought I had fallen, 
Only to learn I had been caught in the arms of a friend. 

A friendship treasured, and cherished over many years, 
Nurtured with love, and inconsistantly maintained, 
However once seen he was needed, 
He did not let me down. 

Shown to me was the power of love. 
Shown to me was the power to forgive myself. 
Shown to me was the value I was to my family, and those that loved me. 
Most, Shown to me was my future, a nudge along the way. 

A future, with options and decisions to be made. 
A future, with a healthy dose of doubts, but with bravery to try. 
A future, now with the knowledge, that I was worthy. 
A future, Now with a friend by my side, 
and the knowledge of the family and friends that never left. 

So then began the journey of a renewed life. 
The joy of love, 
The joy of motherhood, 
The joy of everyday trivial matters, that now mattered. 

The building of your future, 
Begins with one step forward at a time. 
Amazing how... once the steps start, 
The path reaches up to meet you. 
And the dreams become bigger. 

*This is written for many reasons on this day.  It is written to 
share an experience.  As it is my hope.. that by sharing it... it 
will help just one other..then I would have succeeded. :-) And in 
honor of my dear friend Jeff who caught me when I fell. 
A friend of over 20 years, whom never left my side.. and still 
proudly walks along side of me. As I walk along side of him.


Anew

Funny thing about a dream, 
You dream this dream over and over again, 
Then the moment has arrived, 
And you are faced with "The moment" your dream comes true. 

As you see it unfold in real life, 
You think to yourself, 
Is this how I imagined it? 
No, It is more. 

You say all the things you have said already, 
But this time it is different, 
This time in front of you , 
There is a smile, a laugh and a tear. 

Then you awaken in the morn, 
Thinking of the wonderful dream, 
you had dreamed true. 
Only to see it is real. 

And your life has begun anew.


A Child of my heart 

As I walk through the mountain of heartache 
I look at this child and know my love 
My love goes deep and is constant. 
Never has a minute gone by 
That I have not loved this child. 

As he walks through his personal trials 
I see his pain. 
As he thinks through his options, 
I see his struggle. 
As he embraces his adulthood, 
I see his efforts. 
As he challenges us that love him, 
I see his love in return, 
Peeking under all the challenge. 

A child that not only needs my love, 
he needs my understanding 
he needs my constant support, 
And he needs my compassion. 
What he does not see, 
Is that he has always had this. 
He just has not yet realized it.



A Breath of fresh air... 

As I look out on the ocean and see the waves, 
They float in and out as the time passes by, 
With shells, seaweed, and critters.... 

If the waves could speak 
What a tale they would tell. 
The waves would tell of those that left their sorrows there, 
Or danced with glee in their glory. 

Or would they tell of the child that chased the birds on the shore? 
Or the children that played on it's edge? 
Of the older couple that walked the edge and collected their shells, 
And holding hands? 

The ocean sweeps in with magic, 
And sweeps out with mystery. 
The beauty of the waves is only surpassed 
By the beauty of the ocean itself, at sunset. 

As I look out, I Breathe in the love in my heart, 
As I watch "my love" frolick in the ocean, 
And I search the ocean for shells to take with me, 
In constant memory of the magic we share together.


In a moment a life can change 
Do you search out this moment? 
Or wait for it to come to you? 
Do you plan this moment? 
Or allow it to plan you? 

Just for a moment, 
You love. 
Just for a moment, 
You say good bye. 
Just for a moment, 
You find your heart. 
Just for a moment, 
You make the decisions of a lifetime. 

In the moment of love, 
You find your heart beating for the one that holds it, 
As he holds it in his hands... 
you feel the power of his heart beating in return. 
And you know that this moment changed your life. 
As the power to love you always knew you had.. 
has met the power of another... 
In this moment. 

As this moment, could never be planned. 
We can fool ourselves and say, I worked for this and earned it.. 
But we all know these moments...come rare and if at all. 
And when your heart finds this moment, 
you say good bye to what you thought was real...
and hello to what is. 
Seize the moment...The moment of Love.


My Cardinal

As I go through my day I think of happy moments as a child. 
The touch of the rough hand in mine, When I was thirteen. 
I looked to him and thought..He was my hero. 
As he could do anything in my eyes. 

He showed me how to ride a sled in the snow. 
He helped me to build my Science project to perfection, 
As no one else could have. 
he showed me how to be patient, 
And to try and not wear my heart on my sleeve. 
He showed me in silly ways how to laugh, 
At the big and the small stuff. 

He may have been a "Step" 
But in my heart he will always be "The". 
As when I was weak, 
He was my strength. 
When I was sad, 
He made me laugh. 
When I needed to talk, 
He listened, with a kind ear of compassion, 
and would remind me to "think". 

The day he died, The Doves flew to heaven. 
With them they took a soul, full of love. 
On the day we buried him, 
The heavens rained with tears for our loss. 
On the day following, 
The sun beamed down it's joy, at the heavens gain. 
As he is my angel. 

As I see the Cardinals fly, 
I see his smile, 
I hear his laugh, 
And I know I am not alone, 
As I have my Dad smiling down at me, 
Sharing my happiness, 
My joy, 
And my everyday obstacles. 

*He may have been my step-father, But to my heart, He was My Dad. 
And is missed to this very moment of this very day... and always. 


The Heart Knows

Funny how we think we have the answers, 
All the questions seem to unfold, 
And become statements, 
Without beginnings or endings. 

It is a circle, 
The circle of love around your heart, 
It encases the feelings that are there, 
And provides a protective shell for the fragile 
love that resides there. 

With this love, 
You find hope, 
Hope that was thought lost, 
But now found. 

With the protective shell, 
There comes humor, 
As the heart now knows it is safe, 
And it smiles with newfound happiness. 

So to the heart, 
The soul whispers, 
"We are one again" 
And forward they march...to the tune of new love.


As I wander through my day, 
I find I have this cute brown shadow, 
I go from one room to the other, 
And she sits happily in the corner while I do my chores... 
Then moves to the next room behind me. 

I feed her, and she wags her tail at me, 
and happily eats what I provide. 
I love on her, and she rolls over to her back, 
and shows me her belly, 
As it needs rubbed as well. 
I come home from work, 
I am greeted with a HUGE wag of the tail.. 
and I would swear she is smiling at me. 
It thunders, and I am greeted with a "lap dog", 
as she is so scared of the noise. 
I pick up my keys, and she beats me to the door, 
As she loves to ride. 

She is my trusted brown shadow, 
She loves on me when I am happy, 
Hugs close to me when I am sad, 
rewards me with wet kisses just because, 
and comes up to me when she needs her love. 
She is my trusted companion, 
My "lady". 

*Lady is a spoiled rotten 45 lb "lap dog" who has barely enough 
common sense to get out of the rain. But for me she is my baby, 
as she gives me unconditional "stinky" love, and nothing quite beats 
the wet kisses on the face in the middle of the night when she decides 
she needs to go outside...LOL


Their Value

Funny, How with the change of an hour 
Things become clear. 
Clear is the moment of friendship held so dear, 
Clear is the moment of heartache with such pain, 
Clear is the moment of love, So joyous, 
And Happy are you when the love in your heart is returned. 

A friend, comes in your heart, 
And you see him as he is. 
A gift from an unknown power, 
And accepted without question. 
Then in a moment, you see his value. 

A smile when you least expect it 
Laughter of silly things you never would expect to be funny, 
A hug when you find yourself in need as well. 
A shoulder that is sturdy and strong 
kind words that mean the world when uttered. 
And confidence of knowing that the friendship is true. 

As I walk through my life, with newfound happiness, 
I see around me friends that care, 
I see them in all directions, and I know I am blessed. 
As I have never been before. 
As each friendship is special in it's own way, 
But few are as rare as you. 


"Lifted"

As I look out on the water, 
I see the drops of rain fall around me, 
Safe I am on my place in the pavillion, 
Thinking of things long past and unresolved. 
Then upon the edge of my haven I see a bird, 
Working it's way to me from the edge of the area.. 
Slowly it makes it's way around the edges, 
On the bench...to the floor... to the railing... 
Then back to the next bench. 
Slowly I weed through issues that weigh on my mind, 
Then I look over and the bird has made it to the ledge 
next to my perch. 
I mentally baggage the burden on my mind.. 
Hand it to my friend, 
And away the burden goes... with the wind. 

With a relieved sigh... I return to my meditation... 
with a lighter burden and a clearer mind. 


Poetry Tag - a Lesson

*LOL... I was exploring on aol.. and found myself playing poetry tag... 
The title.. was given to me by someone in a chat room.. I liked the 
results.. thought I would post them...::they kept me on my toes...:: 

topic: the burn that follows the crash 

In the crash we look out and see... 
the wreckage that was our life.. 
we see the smoke.. and the fire 
and wonder what started the crumbling fire we see now 
was it the fighting... 
the arguing... 
the damage of the onslought of words...
that should have never been spoken 
or was it the lack of care given to 
something that was once beautiful 
and now sits in embers... burning.. 
as it crashed in the ground... 
untended... uncared.. unfelt.. was the crash.. 
As the love that once was left... to not see the show.. 
and only now sees the smoke of the flames that were.. 
Burning .. on fire for what should have been.. and now never will be.. 
just the flame remains...


Four Shells

On a road well traveled, 
I went to pick up my love. 
And found an excitement beyond words. 

We ambled down the road I travel often, 
Making stops for him to view the beauty of the land. 
To see the ocean come to the shore. 

The shells were picked up with care, 
each their value held dear, 
And there perfection unsurpassed. 

The first shell was picked up for "Trust" 
As with each waking moment, 
I will show my trust to my love. 

The second shell was picked up for "Patience" 
As with each new day of discovery, 
I will pledge my patience for our changing world. 

The third shell was picked up for "Compassion" 
As with each passing day, 
I will gladly show the compassion I feel in my heart. 

The fourth shell was picked up for "Love" 
As the love I have found in the eyes of "My love" 
Surpasses all I ever expected. 

With a sense of purpose, 
I stride forward in our life, 
With four very important tokens of our love. 
Held treasured and close to my heart.


A Thought....at a passing moment

She is like the wind, 
She moves with grace, 
with a luxury of confidence unsurpassed. 
Her sense of purpose is without question. 

Through her daily life she strolls, 
Showing little glimpses of what she may be to you. 
To some she is the co-worker, 
Who is silly and fun. 

To another she is the spouse, 
Thoughtful, 
Caring... 
And still with pain of past battles, washing over her like 
June Rain Storms. 

To yet another, 
She is the trusted eldest child, 
Whom has held counsel with all, 
And confidence with few. 

To a dear old one, 
She is the apple of the old weary eyes, 
The weary eyes, and faint smile of an elderly grandparent. 

To me she is my sister, 
With love so deep, that she is my other mental half. 
When I am down.. she seems to reach out to me with a hand.. 
and her heart.. open. 
Never am I in doubt of her love for me. 

When I am sad... she listens, 
When I cry... she cries with me, 
When I rejoice.. she smiles a knowing smile of happiness for me 

Together we share memories of silly things 
no one else would understand... 
but we are blessed forever with them close to our hearts. 
When I reach out to her... she is reaching back. 
I am blessed daily by her love. 

*This weekend I was able to share some quality time with my dear 
sister. She and I are seperated by only 19 months.. and have always 
been very close.. We laughed, cried.. and giggled our way through 
the weekend.. and I feel blessed for each passing moment I have 
with this dear friend..My Sister...


Mental Housekeeping

With deep thought 
I find the solace of my soul 
As with the river, and it's noises 
I find peace beyond words. 

With the walk along the shores, 
I throw rocks in the stream 
Each with their own name 
Their own tale. 

With each thrown stone, 
I throw away a thought that no longer belongs, 
It is quite simple, 
Don't we all keep house?


How to say thanks?

Where do you start? 
To thank the one that shows you your heart, 
Do you start with the simple words, 
The words that are not enough? 

Do you start with a smile, 
A kiss on the cheek, 
A grin when least expected, 
Or a simple "I Love You"? 

Or do you simply, 
When the opportunity comes, 
Thank this dear soul 
In the only way you know how? 

So in the morning, 
When I find him there, 
I look over and simply say, 
"Thanks". 


something of a thought....

funny how the day breaks, 
the heart awakes, 
Your lover's arms unfold, 
You walk into them, 
And once again.. 
You are whole.


A Dark Moment

There are few moments in time I would freeze in order not to relive it.. 
The one moment to my mind is blazed there forever, 
It is not that I did not love, 
As I did. 
It is not that I did not care, 
As I did. 

He walked into my life, 
Nae on 17 years ago, 
With a walk, a talk, and a smile. 
There was nothing I could not imagine possible. 
With my heart.. I gave my love. 

With my heart full of love, 
I gave my soul, 
I gave of myself. 
What was I to recall of this whirlwind love? 

I was for my life to the very moment of this day to 
recall the love of the moment. 
I would always recall the gift he left me. 
As to this moment he is the child of my heart. 

I will recall the day he left me. 

He left me with the knowledge of the life we started, 
He tipped his hat, 
Kissed me, 
Turned away, 
And walked away. 

My darkest moment.


if you walk....

If you walk with the lord, 
You walk in peace. 
If you walk alone, 
You walk in silence. 
If you walk in a crowd, 
You walk with noise. 
But if you walk with love, 
You walk as one.


A Journey

As I ready my bags, 
I feel my heart go heavy, 
With sadness and sorrow. 

I pack the things needed for any trip, 
It could have been a trip to the mountains, 
Or even one to the shore. 

But unfortunately this is not, 
What it could be. 
It is simply what it is. 

I pack for a journey of the heart. 
To be with an old dear soul whom needs me, 
Whom if he was able to do so, would send me on my way. 
"You have a life to live young lady" 
Would be his comment. 

Now I travel, 
To sit in a hospital, 
To watch the monitors, 
And to cry. 

As he speaks no more, 
He moves no more, 
He will no longer walk with a defined gait. 
He will no longer share the stories of his life, 
With a shy smile. 

As I travel with my heart heavy as lead. 
I travel with the knowledge of my friends understanding, 
Of my family around me, and of us being one. 
As I make a jouney of the heart. 


the laughter of a child 

The laughter of a child is unique, 
As with the laughter comes the promise of a life 
never before imagined, 
We think we know the answers to life 
Then we hold this bundle in our arms for the first time 
We see the eyes for the first time 
We count the fingers for the first time, 
We look at the toes so perfect, and begging to be "piggies". 

At that moment, 
We know why we were born, 
And we know why we live, 
As with this child.. 
We have found a new life 
Of Joy, sorrow, happiness, frustration... 
and adoration. 
For the love of a child.. 
We will be a fool.. 

That is the parent's creed... 
For with each child, 
We will laugh, 
We will Cry, 
We will be disappointed, 
We will see sorrow, 
But we will find the greatest Joy ever known, 
With a tiny hug.. and a smile... a giggle.. a laugh. 

We know there is no greater gift... than that of a child. 

*I wrote this for the OG... Congrats my dear friend.. 
and may you find the joy of such unconditional love of a child. 
Congratualations new papa... 


A thought, A moment, It passed

In a moment, 
I held the hand of an elderly uncle in mine. 
I thought of the wonderous times I spent with him when a child. 
I thought of the pranks we pulled, 
That made him laugh, 
I thought of the little smiles, 
That were ours, because we were his special nieces and nephews. 

He taught me how to work in a field, 
How to crop tobacco, 
Pick cotton, 
and how to laugh at life. 
He told me of his time in WWII, 
Of his desire to live, 
And of his being drafted on his birthday, 
And returning to his home on Thanksgiving. 

Then on a Friday night, 
He could talk no more, 
But with eyes full of tears, 
And a nod of understanding, 
I shared my smiles with him. 
I told him how much I loved him, 
How much his love meant to me. 

I told him of the time we tied the string to the cat's tail, 
And watched it run like fire across the mule lot. 
Of the escapades of his favorite bar of soap, 
That mysteriously appeared in strange places. 
And of all the times I knew he cried when we left, 
But he never showed us, but we knew. 
I shared with him the blessings he gave me without knowing, 
And we cried. 

In a moment he passed, 
He left our world, 
And with his angels, 
Went to one where he can smile again, 
Laugh again, 
And be with others who went before him. 

*In loving memory of my dear Uncle, A combat veteran of WWII, 
whom returned from the war many years ago, half a person. He spent 
his entire life on a farm, farming. Loving us 100+ nieces and 
nephews as if we were all his very own, and never once in his life 
asking for anything from any of us in return. We buried this sweet 
man today. And he will always be in my mind and heart. 


A Smile

We walk along life's path, 
Searching faces as we travel. 
We see this frown, 
We see this grimace, 
We see the tears shed, 
And the tears brimming to be shed. 

Then an amazing thing happens, 
We look into the eyes of another, 
There is seen a sparkle, 
A bit of light, 
And what is it we see, 
A smile, a laugh, with a crooked look, 
Yes indeed, we have found a smile. 


Rubble of my heart

May you open your eyes to see 
The life I give you with my heart 
If I live to be a hundred, 
may you always bask in my love 

In my eyes you are my world 
Your love is my love 
Your heart is my heart 
Our lives are forever joined. 

As I chisel down the walls that encase my heart 
i see the crumbled mess of brick 
Do I dare to chisel more? 
Should I simply take the risk? 

Where my heart was covered with shade, 
From the walls that were so strong, 
My heart now stands blinded, 
By a light never before seen. 

As I make rubble out of the walls, 
I search the eyes of my love, 
And see the love that does shine, 
On a heart that was forever dark.


In a Perfect World

In a perfect world, 
We would enjoy all the happy times of our children, 
And no harm or sadness would come their way. 

In a perfect world, 
The sun would shine, 
The clouds would disappear, 
And the rain would vanish. 

In a perfect world, 
Friends are friends for life, 
You would turn and always fine a true one by your side. 

In a perfect world, 
Your heart would find one, 
And never need search for another. 

In a perfect world, 
Love would be yours forever, 
And life would be grand for eternity. 

In my world, 
I have sadness, and sorrow 
But I have found much love. 
I have friends who are there for me, 
And others who do their best to always find their 
way there when needed. 
I have found and lost love more than I care to remember. 

But when I begin my day, 
I look into the eyes of the one meant for my heart. 
When I lay my head down at night, 
I look into the eyes of the same one whom warms my heart. 
And for me... It is a perfect world.


The Woman she was....the Woman she is
She walks alone more often than not 
She has a quiet way about her 
And sad brown eyes 
Have you seen her? 

"No, but I think I know her" 

She has seen sadness at te hands of others, 
At times self inflicted, 
At others an unwitting victim 
have you seen her? 

"I shall keep a lookout for her" 

With battlescars, she drank Tequila 
Hoping to heal the wounds, 
But she only made them deeper, 
Have you seen her? 

"I think she used to be around a lot" 

With a bold move 
She walked away from the dark world of the comfortably drunk 
She, With her head held high, Left us one day 
Have you seen her? 

"She is legendary around here. They speak of her often" 

With love in her heart for her children 
A newfound confidence for herself 
She chose a different life 
Do you think you might know her? 

"She has been known to come around. She now has a sense of 
peace about her" 

I hear she has a new life 
With new friends, 
A new love 
If yousee her, Could you tell her we are proud of her? 

"I think I found her, Could you look in the mirror? 
Are you searching for those brown eyes?"


If I walk in your path, 
Will you see the path I traveled? 
Or would you only see the traveler? 
Would you see the trail left behind, 
Or the one in front of me, 
Or in front of us? 

As I walk in your path, 
Will you treasure the gifts I give with my heart? 
Or will you accept them as your due? 
Will you see the smile meant for you, 
Or believe I smile to all in such a way? 

As I walk in your path, 
Will you know that I have rarely traveled in this manner? 
Will you understand how fragile my love is? 
How hard it was to walk this far so alone? 
Or will you assume it is just what has always been? 

As I walk in your path, 
I will see the value of the gift of love you bring, 
Reaching to you, 
I will show you the heart I have shown few, 
And with my heart on my sleeve, 
I will give of the love in my heart, 
For you, 
For as long as I walk in your path.


To Gaze

We Gaze on the lives of our friends 
And with our insight we give our amends, 
Are we proper to be so free? 
To always make them think of only me? 
With the joining of like minds 
We enjoyed the fruit of combined thoughts 
Will this place us in a position of freedom 
To always say our piece without a fret? 

I ask you as I gaze on you 
Do you see the pain we can undo? 
We can make it work for us you see 
If we can gaze upon each other to be free. 
We alone can not make it work, 
It takes the power of two you see 
To be brave enough to Gaze on thee. 

With our friendship firmly recovered 
We will see the strength in our numbers. 
We will seek the refuge within 
As we gaze on others whom we let in. 
As friendship is not of what we want 
It is of supporting the one who has blinded 
The thought of the others in their sight, 
As I gaze to you over yonder, 
Do you not see the pain we squander?


A Giggle, A Smile

In Giggles we scoot down the country roads barefoot, 
Playing in the fields we had just cropped 
Looking for mischief around us, 
And chasing the quail tracks on the road. 

Just two girls 
Playing on the dirt roads 
In the backward world of Southern Georgia 
Where the only care is the rain clouds to block our fun. 

So off we scamper to find mischief, 
Will we tie the tobacco twine in circles for hand games? 
Or will we chase the cats around the farm? 
Or better yet, Will we hide the soap from our Uncle? 

As we scamper around the farm, 
Feeding toothpaste to the chickens 
Chasing the cats away with pranks untold 
And making pig noises to the pigs, 
We laugh. 

We chase the kittens on the porch, 
hearing the dear uncle cluck under his voice, 
Knowing he will not chase them off, 
As he loved to see us smile. 

We wonder through the fields 
To surprise him when he is gone, 
Sneaking up on him to say "Boo" 
Just to see him Jump.. 

Then we see our summer come to an end, 
We see the love in the eyes of our Uncle 
And we say goodbye to the other one, and the aunt, 
But he will not say "goodbye", 

he walks to the end of the porch, 
Looks out to the chickens 
Waves us good bye with a smile, 
With tears in his eyes. 

*This is a description of two girls in the summer (Myself and my 
sister).. and of my dear uncle who just passed. A happy story.. of 
fun and love.


In your eyes I see the love you have for me, 
With the changes of each day on the wind 
I feel the rustle of your hair next to mine 
With the tides that roll in, 
I see the changes over time. 

I sought not your company in the beginning 
As I feared what the changes you dared to voice in your 
heartfelt words 
I pulled back from your love and caring words 
For fear I would hurt another with mine to you. 
Or likely more the case, I would dare to bare myself to 
one so devine. 

Now I look over the water of life 
I see the blowing palms in the distance 
I hear the river making it's way down the banks 
I see you walking toward me knowing that I am waiting on you, 
And the knowledge in your eyes, That I love you true. 

We know not what this path will bring us, 
We togehter have experienced more pain than any 
one person should alone 
But it is the strength of our determination and love 
That holds us on our path. 
As with the knowledge the other is there, 
We have more strength than we ever dared. 

I look up to you 
I see in your eyes 
The love I hold alone 
And is alone for you to share 
Looking back in mine.


May I Ask?

May I ask what is the point of a peaceful evening, 
Without the joy of a glorious morning? 

What is the purpose of a sunrise, 
Without the sunset? 

What is the purpose of giving of having children 
If you can not give them all they need, and shield them from pain? 

What is the use in having money, 
If you can not have someone special to spend it on? 

Why walk through the woods by the stream, 
If you dare not smell the water, and see it's treasures? 

Why walk along the beach, 
If you do not do it barefoot? 

Why make a decision, 
If you are not willing to stand by it? 

Why live your life to the fullest 
If you are not willing to pay for your follies? 

Most of all, May I ask, At what point do you believe in tomorrow? 
On this day? Or the next... or the next... 

As a child, We all ask Why, 
When do we stop?


To be seen as you are, 
Not as others perceive you over time, and assumption. 
To be thought of for the things you do 
Not the things you don't do that others thought you should. 
To be loved for the person you show the world, and know you are. 
Not disliked for what others thought in their minds was you, 
an assumption made by their shortcomings. 
To not be judged by those whom have much to hide of their own. 
Simply to be seen... as you are.. when you are simply yourself... 
being who you know you can be. 
If you are my friend, That is the favor I ask of thee.


Strands of Silver

Feet dangling over the edge 
Feeling for the substance not yet found 
Thinking to herself 
Not yet clear 
But looking just the same. 

How far down would she have to reach 
To find the solid ground she craves so well 
Needing the comfort it will provide 
And not yet found, 
But so sorely sought. 

With confidence 
She gains the strength to reach further 
Only to find that it was not solid ground beneath her 
Just a sea of clouds 
With neverending circles of hope. 

With newfound determination 
She ventures into the unknown 
Now searching for all the silver linings 
That others have told her is there. 
Will she weave a scarf of silver with all her happiness?


Her Pain, My Pain

A Beauty she is 
With a laughter a shadow of mine 
With a smile that looks of her dad 
And eyes that are dark as mine. 

She faces her teens with grace 
With the dignity of one older than she 
And with poise beyond her years 
She endears us all to her. 

She is but a child 
In a woman's body 
Looking for her way 
With her wings yet formed 

She faces the trials 
That should not be her fight 
With the love in her eyes for us all 
Asking the questions with her eyes. 

I see the paths we must travel 
For a child who did not ask to go 
As the adults in her world know 
More than she wants to be heard. 

As I take her hand 
With a smile on my heart 
A tear in my eye 
I lead the way. 

As her mother I could be no more proud 
As her friend, I beam with joy at her strength 
Wondering from where it came. 
Knowing beyond words her pain.


My muse, of sorts

I sit in my chair 
With my feet propped up 
Thinking to myself 
I should call it a day. 

Then along comes a friend 
Whom just being him 
Manages to make me smile 
To laugh, and cry. 

He is simply a muse of sorts 
He has claimed that space 
At least twice, of my resort 
And he smiles with a crooked grin. 

Little does he know 
That as far as friends go 
He is one in a million, 
And I am glad he is my friend.


Shoes to fit

Funny thing about shoes.. 
They need to fit the feet in just the right way 
A little big.. 
you have blisters 
A little small.. 
Just the same. 

Pondering the thought of my shoes 
The shoes I walk in 
The ones all others seem comfortable judging 
Thinking that they can do this better, 
Or maybe even that. 

So then I take off the shoes 
I offer them to the one that is so sure 
They can wear them 
They assure me 
As they say that the job is not such a big deal 
But for me.. I know the truth. 

I watch as some try to wear the burden I carry on my own 
Knowing their intentions are good 
But also knowing the burden is one I must bear. 
That to say you can do something 
Is one thing 
But to actually walk in another's shoes 
Is not quite the same.


My Loss

cloaked eyes of a stranger look back on me 
My pain of loss almost tangible 
as I reach out for my child that is no longer here 
My heart bleeds with indignant anger 
and I breathe in shards of glass that crack my lungs 
the pain with each intake 
The pain with each exhale 
Are much more than I can handle. 

I have loved in my life 
I have lost much more on the face of love 
and suffered much at the hands of love. 

Then a hand reaches out to me 
A hand of love and companionship 
A hand that knows the knowledge of who I am 
Of what I am 
Of where I have been 
And foresees where I choose to travel 
With him 

Then with a sigh.. 
I lean into his arms and cry 
Knowing that he feels my pain 
With me. 
He knows the heartache that I hold 
And he understands the love I have 
This love I have for the few brave enough to love in return 
The ones even that do not love back 
know not what they have lost 
and likely don't care. 

Then as the dawn sets on a day that is done 
I crawl off to sleep away my worries in a fit of 
dreams and nightmares. 
The dreams come like waterfalls 
looking for the bottom of what is there 
What they know is there 
The bottom of my heart.


Looking up from my perch near the river's edge 
I see a child in the distance 
Running forward, taking the steps lightly 
Not sure of himself 
And careful not to fall. 

I can not help but smile 
And think of the heart I wear so proudly shown for others 
As I have rarely bounded through life 
Choosing instead to walk slowly 
And carefully. 

With love on my sleeve I face life's trials 
Whether it is the arguing of siblings in a masterful 
argument of children 
Or the indignant rage of teenagers not yet old enough to see 
Or the glorious smile of my love shining back at me 

In all that I do daily 
I am that child walking carefully throught the grass 
As if it were glass to be broken if misstepped, 
and knows it is priceless to know love 
And more valuable to treasure love 
And in all ways, We should cherish it.


The Voice

As I spoke with you on an Easter Sunday, 
my heart heavy with my own burden 
We found one another in an unlikely place 
And sought solace in the other. 

We found our way to friendship 
And then with daily talks 
We found our way to the heart of the other 
With our words and thoughts. 

With a smile 
And late night talks 
We heard the other on the line 
And we heard our voices for the first time. 

As I walked through my trials 
I would hear the voice in my mind 
Knowing I was not alone 
And I was comforted just by the sound of the laughter 
and humor I found. 

As we progressed, 
We dared to make a sound 
And wonder what we really found, 
Was it more than the laughter, and tears? 

As luck would have it 
We found the other 
in a run down Bus Station 
After a long travel. 

It was in that day 
A Journey began 
To find the man I love 
The man behind the voice, I found. 

In the months that have passed 
In this man I see the humor in his words 
The playfulness of his spirit 
And the love in his eyes. 

I see the man, behind the voice.


At the end of the day 

Will we stand proudly in front of our accomplishments? 
or will we cower in the corner, not wanting it known 
we had been there? 

When faced with the possibility of there not being 
another moment to consider the day by, 
Do we look to those around us with love, 
and know they know our heart? 
Or do we look to the other.. 
with much left unsaid? 

I know not where my path leads, 
And I know not what I shall accomplish with the life I have 
I however do know, 
That each day, I strive to take inventory at the end of the day. 

With each action that is taken by me 
I try to show the ones I love my heart 
And I listen to sound advice when offered, 
Turn my nose up to what I hear, 
When it is not what I want to hear. 
And when all else fails, 
I stand by the crumpled mess of my life.. 
And say, glumly it is mine. 

Or if luck shines on me this day, 
I look to the ones I love so dearly 
And show them with my unspoken words the love I feel 
The love that above all else is true, 
And they end their day knowing, with me, where they stand.


Try For Better....Don't just fix it

Missing the thoughts of what could be 
Knowing that it will be again 
As in you I have faith beyond reason 
And in me you have a friend


The Blessing

Dark are the moments that drift in our lives 
we have no control over them 
and we dare not try. 

It can be the loss of a loved one 
the feeling of aloneness in the sight of tomorrow 
The knowledge you are not alone.. but feel you are. 
The knowing that even though there is a crowd of people 
you stand alone. 

I think of the three angels I have in my life 
And the added angel given to my heart by another 
and I know I am blessed. 
I know I hold a dear spot in this world 
That as a mother 
But as I look out over the crowd 
I look for the eyes of the one I love 
I know they are there 
As they see me clearly 

With his smile 
He shows me that this too shall pass 
With his laughter, 
He shows me courage I thought I had lost. 
With his jokes 
He shows me that life is not always serious. 
With the love he shines on me 
He shows me I am worthy in his eyes. 
I truly am blessed.


Touched

Touched by your hand 
My tears are removed from my face 
And placed on your finger tips 

The pain so evident in my eyes 
And the concern in yours 
Shining back to me 

Such love there is in any heart of a parent 
And the need to protect the children 
And the need to sacrifice ourselves 

So many times we reach to do our best 
And when we bring our arms back 
They are empty, without hope or resolution 

As time moves forward 
As it moves with the realization 
That we can not protect the little ones 

With daily blessings of hope 
We march forward, always doing our best 
And just simply wondering if it is enough 

When, oh when will the smile be back 
The sparkle return to her eyes 
And her world be carefree again 

*Written for my beautiful Daughters. Both of whom have suffered 
much from the divorce(which took place 11 years ago)...And both of 
whom I am very proud of. As with their poise and grace..they bravely 
face each tomorrow with such hope and positive attitude.


Reaching out I see your hand 
Reaching to me.. 
Knowing in my heart 
The gifts I reap from you are filling it to it's brim 
Letting the love flow over my soul 
And filling my entire being with the love you show 

I then reach back to you 
Trying to match you with each move you make 
Knowing that the deeds of my love 
in no way show the love in my heart for you 
And thinking to myself, 
How, When, Why 

Not knowing how we got this far 
But knowing there is nowhere else I want to be 
Not knowing when it happened 
But pleased beyond words that it has 
Not knowing why it happened 
But knowing with all my life the question is no longer important. 

It simply Is.


Random thoughts on ex-spouses

Anger seeps from my pores 
You stand on your throne 
Behind your glass 
Throwing stones of indignation 

Thinking you are supreme 
and all others are beneath your ideas 
or are those ideals? 
Whatever your ego chooses to call them these days. 

I often wonder where you would stand in comparison 
If you too were judged as you judge I 
Or would you even notice all the broken glass 
From the stones you threw at the glass walls in front of you?


His Choice

The eagle soars to meet the sky 
And my heart lurches at the thought 
Watching it fly 

Will it be a steady flight 
one filled with love 
With many dreams to fulfill and much hope 

Or maybe it will be one paved with hard lessons 
Lessons learned from ignorance and stubbornness 
And paved with many tears of heartache 

That I suppose is the eagle's choice 
Will he soar high reaching for his dreams 
Or will he falter, blaming the gods for not giving him flight? 

I suppose when looking at the choices he could make 
One would much prefer to fly high above all else 
But if you are a teenager full of bitter pride, you will likely falter 

Standing alone in the middle of the room 
His red hair shining from the light 
Seeing the tears he sheds 

I simply shed my own as well.


A Look Ahead

We often look ahead 
Wish we had a crystal ball 
Where we could see the plans 
That are there for us all. 

Will a missed opportunity turn into something more special 
Or will our folly take us down a road we have yet to travel 
Will we see the pure of heart for what they are 
And stray far from those, that are not so fair 

As we walk forward with our baggage 
May we always be in constant reminder 
Of the feelings in our heart 
And not lose sight of our own trek on this winding trail 

So while I travel down the road for me 
I think often of the things I wish for me 
With my head held proudly for all to see 
I walk forward with glee. 

Prepared as always for what I might find 
But desiring to live my life abound 
As I would rather pass with the knowledge of my life 
A life spent with love, for those around.


had to be the one

I had to be the one.. and sit here to wonder 
Who will post 1001? 

As I surf through the site 
I see familiar grounds 
And familiar names as well 
I wonder where we will go from here 

But most of all.. 

I look at these walls 
Covered with the words of talented friends 
And I know without a doubt 
I am proud of the company I keep 

*::smiles:: I just wanted to be the 1000 post on the site..


Standing in the Debris

Pain to the core of me 
Pain I can no longer ease 
I see the anger in your stance 
I look into your eyes, and I see the exact likeness in you 
Are you still my child? 

I look to the actions you hold so dear 
The rebellious nature of your soul 
You think you know where you are going 
But you know not where the road is 
The anger is touchable in the crackling air around you. 

You see not the destruction in the path you travel 
You see only the course you wish to take 
Not the heartbreak you leave in your wake 
The road you take to independence 
littered with those you trampled on to get your own personal success. 

In the end will you see the love 
That still burns eternal 
No matter the words said in anger 
The pain they brought to the one spoken of 
In my heart I stand ever present as your mom 
The one who will always love you


The feeling

The moving of the forces within my heart 
Stirs my passions with thoughts of us 
I reach in the night 
And find you not there 
Knowing you would be if you could 
And knowing in our hearts, we are one 

I ache to hold you close to me 
To see the look in your face when you smile 
The twinkle in your eyes full of mischief 
And the amazing presence of your love when you enter a room I am in. 

All of this I carry with me 
I carry it with me no matter where I go 
I carry this cherished feeling of your love in my heart 
It occupies the depth of my soul 
And we are one 
With the other, in our dreams.


What do I see?
A look 
A touch 
A feeling 

It is all there 

In your eyes 
In your actions 
In your words 

I see it there 

You hesitate 
I watch, 
You move 
I follow. 

I see you there 

I wonder to myself 
Is it the shadow of you? 
Or is it the reflection of me? 
As we are one. 

We are the mirror of the others soul.


As Luck would have it 
I was leaving as you arrived 
I was running and you only walked 
I was gone, then you missed me 
I loved you first, and you did not at all 
I never loved you, and you loved me true. 

As Luck would have it 
I would have children, "Just like me" 
I would wash the car, then it would rain. 
I would pack a lunch, And they would order pizza 
I would plan to go out, you planned to stay in 
I wanted to stay in, you wanted to go out 
I wanted to stay, and you chose to leave. 

As Luck would have it 
You would screw up, i would stand by you 
I Stood by you, and you still left. 
You left in shame, I survived the pain. 
Once the pain left, bitterness set in 
Once the bitterness left, Trust failed me 
Once trust failed me, I found myself alone. 

As luck would have it 
I sat alone for years, then you came along 
You made me smile, where there was a frown 
You shined light, where there was darkness 
You filled my heart, where there was emptiness 
You loved me, when I could not love 
When I discovered I could love, You loved me still 

As Luck would have it... 

I then found trust


It was me 

When I blundered my way through adolescence 
Made the mistakes of twleve kids 
And left my heart behind with someone 
Who thought it was a punching bag 

It was me 

That walked down the aisle 
Thinking not of herself 
Thinking of others 
And a special someone 

It was me 

Who gave birth to three children 
Held them to my breast 
Rocked them to sleep 
And kissed dirty toes 

It was me 

Who I saw in the mirror 
After a rough night of drinking 
Wishing I was someone 
Anyone, but me. 

It was me 

Who saw a chance to be me 
Took it finally 
Not knowing where it would go 
But knowing it was my road. 

It Is I 

Who stands proudly in my life 
Beside my children of such beauty 
Beside my principles which I have fought so hard for 
With the love in my heart, for us all 

It Is I 

With love to you 
I show you in my deeds 
The love I hold so dear 
And cherish just for the years 

It is Me....


The Blossom

Walking along my well traveled path 
I see flowers where there were weeds 
I see sunlight where there was darkness 
I see blooms, where there were buds. 

I reach to touch the bloom on the flower 
The blooms are beautiful, 
and so well tended 
Will they discolor with tenderness? 

A touch of the bloom 
Gives the feel of satin 
As it caresses my skin 
I feel it's attraction. 

As I look deep in the bloom 
With each petal I see love 
A bit of kindness, 
Trust and much more. 

Seeing the beauty of the whole 
And knowing what I now know 
I leave the bloom to blossom 
And move on down my road. 

As with time the bloom will wilt 
Tire of it's beauty 
It will die off, 
But what a life it will show To all that take the care to share the 
beauty of the blossom.


My Song
A touch 
A smile 
This is all it takes 

A laugh 
A joke 
This my heart doth make 

I moment of your time 
A glimpse of your heart 
This is what my heart awaits 

With each passing moment 
My hearts sings a song 
As you have made my heart hum.


A heart encased in glass 
This is what I have had for years 
With due care, 
The glass was cleaned daily 
Many could see the glare. 

Then with time 
I discovered that windows opened 
And with care and love, 
I allowed others into my little world 
My heart so well tended. 

As my life would evolve 
I would see those I trusted 
Trample over what I gave 
With cherished glee. 
A heart trusted to a friend or love. 

As time marched on my heart stayed strong 
Despite scarring from the battered wear 
I found a like heart 
In need of care. 

Together we piece together 
The cherished pieces of our hearts 
As we gave away pieces to those we cared about 
We received pieces from those that cared about us 
And now, we have a journey to make. 

With two battered hearts, and much love.


Ode to the three....
Sitting on the outside 
Looking into the muddled mess 
Thinking to myself 
Where did it begin? 

As Friends we became three 
Close and pure of purpose 
Then two became closer 
And the three rejoiced. 

Now we sit in the rubbled mess 
A mess one brought on us three 
Trying to make us see 
It is we. 

So sad the falling of such kind hearts 
Hearts full of promise 
And much more, 
Now sit hurt to the core. 

So one marches off 
Highhanded and full of knowing she is right 
Not caring the trampled mess 
She leaves in the muddled path she walked. 

When did one become more important 
And friendship slip 
And hearts were broken 
With the dust that has settled. 

In sadness the three is now two, 
And one day the two will go to one 
In that day, 
One will stand alone, to keep the light on.


I thought 
A word 
A prayer. 

That is all I have to offer. 
An act of kindness 
A feeling to share 
That is what I want to be to you. 

A simple friend


Silence is golden or so they say 
and who is they anyway? 

With a look this way 
I saw you looking 
Should I give you a sign 
Or should I stand wooden? 

Silence in a hallway 
We are told is the way. 

Then passing you in the hallway 
I saw your smile 
Thinking to myself 
Of friends around. 

But what do you think of the rain in May? 
Shall we sit by a river and watch as they stray? 

Then sitting on the bench 
I found the flowers of May, 
There quiet beauty 
Just waiting for all to meet. 

The birds that flew away, 
Are they the silent ones anyway? 

Then with a rising from the bench 
I did see the beauty of the flight 
A flight of quiet solitude 
Of seagulls just flying around. 

With a walk through the woods one day 
I found a fellow soul mate along the way. 

Then I went into the woods 
Seeing my love standing by a Stream 
Not realizing his heart was so pure 
I almost lost him, without a word. 

In the middle of a fray 
I found we had lost our way. 

As we stood there with our heads held high 
We thought we knew of all but our pride 
However it must fall for us to see 
The you, that you do see in me. 

So now I wait for the day 
That we shall return to May. 

With love on my sleeve 
And my hands filled with joy 
I walk to the flowers I so adore 
Awaiting the day they bloom for my love.


There was a day 
when I was young 
When in my eyes 
All questions had easy and clear answers 
And the answers were all I wanted to hear 
Plans all turned my way 
And if I wished it, 
then it was there for me to see. 
Or so I thought. 

As I was a teen 
Invincible 
thinking only of myself 
And never thinking of another 
As it was my way 
the creed of the teen 

Then there came a day 
When I was a teen no more 
When life stared me down 
And even dared to laugh at me 
And to chide me for my foolish ways 

To see in the face of your efforts 
Now that you raise your own teen 
A mirror image of your own foolishness 
Is something as a parent 
We shall always know will come 
As there was a day 

Thinking to myself 
that in so many years from now 
I will sit in my rocker 
And listen to my teen 
Tell me just the same 
"Mom, There was a day" 
But this time, he will see his own foolishness 
As I have seen mine.


As One

Rain washes over my soul 
As I watch you walk in the distance 
I see your walk 
Knowing I would know you from and distance. 

I hear you talk to others along the way 
hear your laughter 
the tone of your voice 
Then I see your smile. 

My heart races 
I see you walk towards me 
I see the smile touch your eyes 
And I now know this smile is meant for me. 

The joy in my heart knws no boundaries 
My mind races with thoughts of us 
Of you alone in my heart 
And of the knowledge we are one.


Mom's special prayer

A deep sigh inhabits my being 
As I search my heart for what I know is there 
Inside this heart is the compassion to understand 
To forgive. 

I see the damage done by another 
To my dear son 
Seeing his pain 
etched on his face 

I know the pain 
As with each gash placed 
I tended the wounds 
And saw the scars take their place 

I look out 
Seeing the pain cover his actions 
And have to believe 
That with time, This too shall pass. 

As we make a journey of self discovery 
To a a place that may hold the answers 
I say a prayer of the devoted mother 
That just once, may he have a break. 


A heart wishes another one the best....

an aching in my heart 
shows it still beats 
it still has a pulse 
and it still nourishes my body 

a look in the mirror 
shows I still exist on this planet 
as people see me 
even I can see the image of myself 

the pain drifts through my body.. 
pain I had never thougth possible 
as once this is over 
will I be myself? 

I know I am a pale comparison of me 
I am a mom 
I am a lover 
I am a sibling 

with the pain of loss 
held so dear 
so new 
I realize what is important. 

So with each countdown day 
I take the time to hug him to my heart 
To talk with him while he is here 
And to commit his very essence to my memory 


The meaning of friend....

As I walk along the road of friendship 
I see those I hold dear to my heart 
As they falter.. and plug on.. moving forward. 

We each falter in our own way 
Each fall short of who we can be 
When we can be that perosn we choose. 

As I look to you my friend 
I think of all the experiences we share 
And know, you know, I am here 

I wait patiently for you to try your wings 
To fly again in the sky 
As the eagle you soar. 

Until that day 
As your friend 
I am here. 

After that day 
While you venture forward, 
I am still here. 

As you see 
During the experiences that make our life special and unique 
True friends never really leave your side. 


What have we here 

Past the smiles 
The giggles 
The tears 
The heartache 
The thoughts of kindness 
The ones not so kind 
The fellowship of friendship 
The frustration of failure 
The joy of success 
to the core we find what makes us tick 
What makes us whole 
it is that we have given life to another. 
That is our soul.


I search your eyes 
I see the pain you think you hide 
I see the love you show so clear 
I see the frustration you try to conceal 
I see the understanding you show me daily 
I see the compassion, that shows your soul 
I see the hope your heart has stored in Us. 

May we always see the mirror of the other 
in the reflections of our eyes.


Perception play out in my mind 
Are things the way they should be 
Are they how they want to be 
How they could be 

Or are they simply what they are? 

Perception plays with your mind 
People see you 
And say they understand your plight 
know how you feel. 

What is it they perceive? 

With time we all cross our own bridges 
May I say the silent prayer 
That we cross with our head held high 
And with the understanding things are what they are.


Poised

I move forward knowing not what compels me 
I look for inspiration in the words of those that I love 
And the ones that love me. 

Sighing I look forward at my challenge 
To be the best person I can be 
And yet not knowing where to go from here. 

Sighing, I dig in my toes 
Not daring to allow myself to lose more footing 
And knowing that I must be strong, beyond words. 

With determination set in place 
With hope sending air to my wings 
I brace myself for the flight


The journey of a Soul

Reaching out to touch 
To feel 
To love 
To remember... 

Souls aching 
To touch the part of ourself 
We dare not share 
Or touch ourselves 
We wait... 

There will be a day 
When the heart finds another like heart 
When the soul finds another like soul 
And with the whispers of the wind 
They find the joy that is their to share.


Entwined in Gold

As time inches it's way through our lives 
We find ourselves intwined in the other 
It is almost like magic 
Like two pieces of cloth sewn together with gold twine 

I look to you and see your smile 
I see the look on your face 
I embrace your laughter 
Close and dear to my heart. 

May we always be so close to the other 
May we always have the strength of gold to bind us together 
May we always love the other as we do today 
And may our laughter bring happiness to our everyday 


Forever....I Shall Remember

You remain as always 
In a moment of time not to be forgotten 
Your eyes sparkling with mischief 
Your smile lighting up the room 
Your presence in front of me as never before 

As always I look back and see the moment 
Frozen in time 
The moment you stood in front of me 
For the very first time. 
The moment that I knew I loved you


I Waited

You opened my eyes to the world around me 
You showed me the paths we could take together 
Then you left me there to wait 

I watched the world zoom by with my new eyes 
I felt heartache and joy with my new self 
But still I waited.. 

I drifted through my everyday life 
Pretending all things were mine to have 
While I longed for you...and waited 

I watched the children become young adults 
I charged forward with plans of the future 
Without you.... and I waited 

Then I looked about me 
I saw that life had moved on 
Without me....while I waited. 

So slowly, I moved forward 
Seeking a world I never explored 
And slowly moving away from the point...where I waited 

As luck would have it 
I moved forward 
Away from the feeling of needing to wait. 

I found hope and joy beyond words 
In my new life of newfound freedom 
and with the grace of newfound knowledge, I no longer wait. 

As luck would have it 
With my newfound wings.. I soared 
Only to look back and see... you had returned.. 

and I was no longer there.


To Live

I longed for the day when a smile could be just that 
A smile, and it touched your eyes without fail. 

When a kiss could be felt to the toes of my being 
And be simply a wonder to feel. 

When a hug makes you shiver 
As only a true hug can do. 

When a tear was wiped from your eyes 
By the hands of someone who truly cares 

When I could look into another's eyes with love 
And see love in return. 

When I could search the eyes of a friend 
And see the pure generosity of spirit shining back. 

Then it would have been to live 
To have lived each moment in purity of love and friendship 

Mixed with a bit of devotion.


One of the best days I can remember 
Begins with the sound of your voice 
The look of your eyes looking at me 
The working together to meet common goals 
To prepare meals, side by side 
To stroll along the river hand in hand 
To look out over the water.. enjoying the life of the river 
To return, tired, and exhausted from our individual endeavors, 
But still have the strength to look to the other 
Offer a kind word, and a hug. 
Then with the day to an end 
To look in the eyes of the one you love 
And know that the look in his eyes, is meant for you


A glimpse at others along the walk of life 
is fascinating at best... 

We walk along..choosing the path in front of us 
We choose based on the choices we see in front of us 
And if we are honest with ourselves 
We choose the road of our heart 

Then as we stroll through our hardships 
The stumbling blocks placed by our blind love 
And abiding friendship 
and the path our heart takes us down 

There are times this path is full of hardship 
Of pain 
Of anger 
But with each step we learn, and we grow. 

As we venture further down the walk of life 
There are others that are handed gifts beyond words 
In their hands these gifts are placed 
They pay not for the gift.. 

The gift given 
Not paid by experience 
Not paid by love.. or hard work 
Falls in the hand of an ungrateful soul, 
not seeing the value of that given 

Looking over from my road of self inflicted knowledge 
Hard earned from my walk over many a bumpy road 
I hold true to myself the value of the lessons learned 
And would rather travel down this road of knowledge.. 

Than be gifted by a gift not earned. 
*A poem born out of a good talk with a new friend.


Reflections

I stand out on the Beach 
Watching the Ocean's waves crash to shore 
The night sky is full of stars 
The water is cold to the toes 

I seek out, 
Looking out to the pier 
watching the waves crash on the piles 
Watching the night sky and it's full moon 

Deep in thought 
I see the waves 
But hear the sound no longer 
I stand 

With my mind lifting it's thoughts 
And placing them one by one in the sky 
I feel the wind blow my hair 
And I stand 

With the weight of grief 
lifting slowly from my shoulders 
with perspective slowly easing back in place 
I stand with the waves washing over my feet. 

With the feeling of being refreshed 
With my sorrows examined for what they really are 
The disappointment in myself as a mom 
Suffering the missing of a son 

The ocean spray 
Slowly brings me back to where I am 
I see the beauty of the night 
And I taste the salt on my lips 

With peace back in my soul 
I look to my feet and see they are soaked 
As where I stood no longer has just beach 
My sorrows have left with the ocean's waves 

Where I Stood


The Child in Me
I move forward 
Then I move back 

I move forward 
I move back 

As the momentum of my actions increase 
I move with more speed.. more height 

I move forward 
I move back 

As I move forward 
I sing nursery rhymes of days gone by 

As I move back 
I giggle at my silliness 

As I move forward 
I remember all I have learned 

As I move back 
I live for the moment 

Then in the distance I hear voices 
And I see there is now a line for the swings 

I whole line of children 
Thinking this old woman must be crazy.


A Child's Fantasy

I sit here entertained by kittens 
They run this way then that 
Such cute little fury beasts they are. 
One gold, and two the color of smoke 

With a flourish they bounce through the living room 
Into the kitchen 
Then to the bedroom 
Back to the living room 

As I watch the playful energy they hold 
I have to laugh in the face of innocence lost 
As when I was a child 

I wanted to be a kitten


...The Beauty of a Rose
Worn and tattered the box lid still opened 
With a creak, one could see the remnants it held 
An aroma of a flower of some kind 
And fine dried petals of a rose that was devine 

She looked off in the distance 
All wrinkled and worn 
As now she was old 
and at times forlorn 

A whisper of a smile graced her face 
She sifted her fingers through the petals so fine. 
As her mind drifted 
She allowed herself to relive the moment in time. 

The Rose once held a life of it's own 
It's life force came from the love of two souls 
For a moment in time her world stood on ends 
Waiting for her man to come and marry her then. 

But the beauty of the rose given in love 
Was to be shortlived as it would turn 
She loved him with her life 
And the rose stood proud 

As time would have it, 
They drifted again 
He to his destiny 
And she to within 

The rose dried into these petals she now holds 
She gathered them up 
Sacred, they were 
Now in her hands, she remembers a time 

When the beauty of a rose, was just a moment in time.


Searching....

I look but I do not see 
I search but I do not find 

I have yet to find what it is I am looking for 
Is it the laughter in the eyes of another? 
Is it the smile of the one I love? 
Is it the feeling of having someone's arms around me? 
Is it making love when the sun comes up? 

I have found all of this 
I have searched even further 
And I still look... I still search... 

I gather my meager belonging close to my heart 
I place the memories of all that I have loved 
I place the memories of all that I have lost 
All in the bag with my dreams.. 
And onward.. I move...Searching.


Eyes of Love

Many have said that eyes are the windows to your soul 
I seek the eyes of love 
May I look into yours? 

As a child I looked into the eyes of all those I loved 
Looking for the windows 
Knowing behind them I would find something called "souls" 

As a young adult 
I looked into the eyes of many whom I cared for 
And then a few I did not.. 
Still not finding the soul of Love. 

As a Young Lady 
I searched the eyes of many 
And thought I had found love 
Only to find I had found temporary fulfillment 

Then as an adult, a mother, a wife 
I found disillusion in the eyes of Love 
I found much heartache and sadness 
And onward I looked.. seeking the eyes of love 

With time I became content with true friends 
Knowing in their eyes I saw truth and honor 
Believing no longer in love 
I sought only truth to share my days and fill my nights 

Then as my life turned circles 
I found my eyes gazing into the windows of a soul 
Pure of heart, battle weary as I, and holding out his hand 
Searching as well for Love. 

I learned well over the years 
And in the eyes, 
The windows of the Soul of Love 
I offered Friendship and trust... 

Should I dare to believe again?


My Gifts

As I walk through my everyday travels 
I search my soul for answers 
The questions seem tough these days 
But so are the answers. 

To be loved 
For who you are 
is a blessing 
Of untold depth 

To be seen as you are 
is as if to be seen in a million mirrors 
All with the same reflection 
For all to see.. and be understood. 

To open your very being to another 
With you heart held open 
Your love in your eyes 
Is like walking naked in the moonlight 
On a crisp cool night. 

With the love I feel in my heart 
I give myself openly 
The meager gifts given, are everything to me 
They are trust and honesty


My Dreams of Sunrise

Coasting slowly at first 
I see the smooth glade of the vessel on the water 
I see the water look like glass 
And our journey cut through it 

I look about me.. 
In these predawn hours 
I hear the night noises 
And I hear the gator bark in the distance 

I journey on 
As we now have a mission 
To be as one in the rising sun 
When the Orange ball of daylight peeks over the ocean. 

With the gentle breeze to guide us 
We will travel down life's highway 
And along the way we will finally see our sunrise 
And may the sun never set on our devotion to one another.


My Little Man

I look at the picture of you as an infant 
And I see smiling at me your brown eyes 
Your dimples 
And your pudgy cheeks. 

Then I venture to the next page 
And I see you walking 
Pointing out trains 
And wearing your birthday cake 

I then turn the next page 
And I see the proud smile 
Of my little man the fisherman 
with tired eyes.. and a smug smile or accomplishment 

Then I see you on your many field trips 
Holidays with smiles 
With you laughing at antics 
And hugging your sisters 

You are not a name on a wall 
You are not one of eighty to me 
You are my son 
And a part of me. 

I look at the empty pages at the back of the book 
Visualizing prom pictures 
Graduation pictures 
And many more 

I slowly close the book 
I place it on the shelf 
Looking out to the water for solace 
Hoping for all the good things life will bring my little man.


The Warmth of a Hug

Pigtails and bows 
Smiling faces full of make-up 
Ringing telephone, just for you 
Giggles down the hallway 
Loud music playing your tunes 
Awkward attempts to be grown up 
Beauty of such simplicity 

A proud mom, you may say 
But I look at you and see a clever young lady 
I see the attempts you make to be grown 
I hear the loud music 
I cherish the giggles 
I groan when the phone rings 
The smiling face warms my heart 
But no smile, replaces the warmth of your hug


May I Ask?

Many a bright person tells us to seek what we desire 
It is out there, they tell us 
Funny how when I seek.. I come up empty. 

Many a kind thought is brought forth by kind people 
It bothers me greatly that the kind appear to others as weak 
And the weak appear to be larger than life itself 

In a world full of people who will take food from the hungry 
You ask what is it I seek 
Maybe I should ask why you need to know? 

I seek kind arms that hold me 
I seek a true heart that loves no others 
I seek a profound wisdom of oneness.. of heart and soul 

I look about me.. and I see other seekers 
We cross paths and smile to one another 
We are easy to spot.. as we wear our heart on our sleeves. 

Many ask me.... But I say, If you have to ask.. then you just don't know.


Alone

The wind whispers yor name 
I come to you as never before 
I stand here, alone in my mind 
But in a crowded room 
With laughing people 
Drinking their fill. 

So onward I seek the crowds of those who are in the room 
Looking for you, knowing you are there 
And yet I stand alone 
Deep in the essence of my search 
Looking to all the blank faces of varied pain 
Hiding behind what is now called a good time 

Then as if a light shines over your head 
Or a finger is pointed your way 
I walk on unable to control my emotions 
Not knowing what will come of something so big 
Yet so refreshingly new to my soul 
I walk forward into the arms of love 
And I am not longer alone.


Hide and Seek

With a grin on my face 
I look high and low 
Searching for my prey 
Hoping to see a sign of to where it has gone 

I search further 
Calling out his name 
I hear giggles 
and know I am close 

I look in corners 
In the closets 
in the secret hideaways 
he thought I did not know 

Then there he is 
The red headed angel of mine 
With the red shining above the toy box 
And giggles filling the air with sunshine 
*My little Red headed angel turns Sixteen on Thursday... 


Can you Wait?

I ache to show you the me I know I am 
With each day I face constant challenge 
I show constant emotions 
I show you me in all my ways 

Rarely do I find the courage to show the me that I know I am 
I try so hard to be the me all see in me 
and rarely does anyone take the time to really look 
to really listen 

So on these rare occasions 
I slip out of my comfort zone 
and show you the full size of who I am 
and then just as quickly I slink back to one you know 

I guess the question is who is this person 
Where did she come from 
why is she here 
and when will she return 

The answers are easy 
You with your words show me you love me 
with your actions you make me comfortable 
with your smile you melt the walls around my heart 

In time, the person you see will relax 
will smile a pure smile of joy 
will look in your eyes with confidence beyond words 
and will be herself... 

Can you wait the distance?


....and I Dream

I look deep in the depths of my soul 
and see what I find 
To repeat the mistakes of the past 
would simply be silly 
To reach forward and be bold 
without the wisdom of past mistakes 
would be futile 

Then I see a spot on my heart 
that is full of hope and wonder 
and I see not the follies of past mistakes 
I see not my fear of tomorrow 
I simply see the hope in my heart 
like a ray of sunshine on a dreary day 

So for the moment 
I basque in the sunshine never before seen 
I frolic in the meadows of flowers of my dreams 
I sing songs of long forgotten childhood tales 
I feel the hope spring eternal in my veins 
And I dream


The Dance Begins

With a soft sigh on my lips 
I look in your eyes 
Mine locking with yours 
And I feel my heart beat faster. 

With each movement you make towards me 
I feel my body respond to you 
Knowing your touch 
And feeling your breath on my skin 

With a sigh on my lips 
I wait for you to cross the room 
With your face full of mischief 
And your eyes twinkling 

Then the dance begins...


I Soar

On the wings of love 
My heart soars high above the mountains 
coasting over the treetops 
and viewing the changes of the leaves in fall 

The colors show themselves 
In vibrant golds 
With the snow caps on the mountains 
As higher I soar 

With the closing of autumn 
Comes the beauty of the winter 
With newfound love 
I soar above the white sheets in the valley 

And onward we fly as one 
In our own world of evolving seasons 
To chance the gods of winter 
And welcome the angels of spring


My Rainbow

I watch in awe 
at the bright colors of my life 
I see each shade 
And believe it not 
In front of me I see 
The end of the rainbow 
Not knowing now what it really means 
But knowing all my life I shall never forget 
the moment 
the second 
I found my dream


Whispers of the Soul

In a distance the sounds of the night can be heard 
But she sits and stares 
Hearing not the sounds 
But only the heartbeat of her soul 

With time she will regain her confidence 
Walk with her held high 
showing the glory of her efforts to those that care to know 
And holding her counsel to her soul 

With love on her mind 
and an empty heart 
she looks upon the night 
not knowing what she will find 

Does she grasp those things that peer at her 
Or does she allow herself to wait 
To think 
And to enjoy the joys of love


You
A thought 
...of you in my world.. just gives my spirit strength with each day 
A word 
...spoken by you sends my heart a flutter 
A smile 
...on your face, warms my heart beyond words 
A giggle 
...heard by my ears..shows me your playful side few have ever seen 
A grin 
...crosses my face, whenever I think of you 
A wink 
...made in my direction, shows me you know what I am thinking at 
that perfect moment 

But most of all 
A slow dance 
On a quiet night 
With music we both love 
Takes me to levels never seen before. 

And we dance....


We Simply Live

A moment in time 
can be best described 
as a moment of clear conscience 
In a moment I see the love of another for me 
In a moment I see my children grow older day by day 

In the small ways of my life 
I see my sense of purpose 
My fright at new things 
My sorrow at past deeds 
My love in my heart for the few true friends of my life 

With each traveled path 
I take my wisdom to the next path 
Kick my garbage to the curb 
And pray I prospered enough to survive 
In this world of heartache and triumphs 

We simply live..each moment


To touch your smile 
Your face lights up 
With the love in your eyes 
seeing the smile reaches there as well 

The gift of a touch 
the glorious love that one gives another 
the beautiful way you move across the room 
And with such grace you come to me 
touch my hand. 

At that moment... we are one.


They Have Personality

they are just ten toes 
bare they are 
and they love to touch the sand 
dip into the ocean 
dig into deep carpet 
wiggle in new shoes 
feel the warmth of bedroom slippers 
feel cold in the winter 
and place themselves next to another 
little icebergs they are 
drive barefoot 
and let others see when they are painted 
amazing colors they are 
they are just ten toes 
never forget the personality of the 'piggies' 

*grins.. I had to get silly...just comes natural at times..

{Editor's Postscript:  Poems from Kalle's muse were collected from 
her very first on the site, up to the end of October, 2000 - and she 
no doubt has many more gracing our pages since then!}

I think the work here shows a wonderful progression from her first 
tentative postings as she tested the waters, to....well, what better 
note to end on than a poem with such personality!  Kalle, you are one 
of a kind, my dear, unforgettable friend!

Always,
  Chris
-=Vel=-