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My daughter got a low grade in math on her first middle school report. Card. Nicki had always done well before, and math was one of her favorite subjects. So, I decided to call the school and meet with the teacher. At our meeting, the teacher listened to my concerns and said he might know the cause of the problem.

a hard time getting used to earlier school days. We agreed to make some changes. I encouraged Nicki to get to bed earlier, and the teacher moved her to the front of the room. As Nicki grew more comfortable with the new schedule, we began to see a change in her grade. I'm glad I worked with the teacher and took care of this problem early. It helps to stay involved!

He pointed out that math is taught first thing in the morning, and Nicki frequently seemed very sleepy during class. He explained that sixth-graders often have

Before your middle grader turns in a writing assignment, share this checklist for proofreading the final draft.

  Are there any errors? Check grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

  Is anything missing? Accidentally leaving out words can change a sentence's meaning.

Q: My son has something going on every day after school. How can I tell if he's involved in too many activities?

A: After school clubs and sports help your middle grader stay active and out of trouble, and may even lead to a career. But too much of a good thing can cause unwanted stress. Ask yourself these questions. Is my child still enjoying after-school activities? Are family members irritable after rushing from one activity to the next? Is there energy and time left over to concentrate on homework without fussing? Does my son get unhurried, quiet time during the day? Do I? Have his grades gone down?

   Is it clear? Reword confusing sentences. Example: Change "She pulled her hair" to Ann pulled Carmen's hair."

  Is it easy to read? Uncover any rough spots by reading it aloud.

  Do the sentences contain specific information? Example: "He jogged slowly to the part," instead of "He ran."

  Is it neat? Make sure it's clearly written or typed on clean, uncrumpled paper.

Our purpose: To provide busy parents with practical ideas that promote school success, parent involvement, and more effective parenting. Resources for Educators, Inc., Publisher of Middle Years, 296 Victory Road, Winchester, VA, 22602, 540-723-0322, © Copyright 1999 Resources for Educators, Inc. rfecustomer@rfeonline.com

If any of the answers worry you, consider having your child cut back on activities. This may help him narrow his interests, increase his successes, and regain control of the day. Time to reflect on schoolwork, enjoy friends, and dream is an important part of growing up, too.

When you and your middle grader don't see eye-to eye, your talks don't have to end in angry shouts. Try these pointers for keeping conversation from spiraling out of control:

 Plan ahead. Think about what's really important before you talk.

 Hold your conversation in a quiet place with no distractions.

 Try to stick to the topic.

 Stop the conversation if things get heated and agree to pick it up later.

 Keep it positive by avoiding blame. Do this by beginning sentences with "I". Example: Say, "I feel anxious and worried" instead of "You make me worry."

 Restate what you think your child is saying. Example: "Are you frustrated because your friends can stay out later than you can?"

 Focus on finding solutions, and compromise when possible. Example: "Let's try moving your curfew by half an hour. We'll see how you do and talk again next month.

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