nights of torture shake you awake
but nightmare's are better than thoughts
of the secret you must keep
the sound of silence broken by a weep
hush little child for someone might hear
and come to inquire why tears flow like a river
when holidays are filled with love and good cheer
not with hatred and fear
what's that torment you do keep inside
let it out, relieve your burden.
No? you dare say-
oh please, don't walk away
the hug was cold and uninviting
while the kissed wanted to say, "I love you."
but screamed, "I can't be what you need."
this is what father had to offer.
the closets became abandoned
as the silence moved in
children gone, pets taken
his world is terribly shaken
he knows not that you cry
and inside his young girl begins to die.
with misery glistening in her eyes,
the torment is invisible, the smile is opaque.
Empty-
not just the house, but the heart
a mind boggled with confusion
no one knows what happened to the young girl
Alone?
Alive?
Breathe love into life to revive
but the doors are shut and no one can enter
It's time I've come to fear
my thoughts no longer clear
just months, just days, hours and minutes
every split second is precious
crumbling down like a shattered dream
I fall into a puddle of self-pity
Disappear, I do contemplate
So I never have to see the forsaken date.
My pupils are red with fear,
nose running with every fallen tear
trembling and shaking at every memory passed
for I am the young girl with eyes of misery.
The Strong Can Be Broken
the smile says that happiness exists
but inside torment and anger dominate
scream for help! but the outside says no
when will the true feelings show?
too late. for the tears begin to flow
the vodka bottle empty,
red eyes covered by sunglasses
on friends she bets, but passes.
The hope, The blame, glory and shame
it's all hers to take to the grave
because love is nonexistant
even when she's persistant
Hide and Seek
If a cliff a million miles high
With a valley twice as deep made of perfection existed,
I would jump off
And be thrown upward by gravity into outer space.
It's a toast to my adulthood
Where I fall drunk from the sip.
I search my memories of good
to see where I misplaced my childhood.
Blood spurts from my wrist in awe of its new freedom.
Precious seconds slip away down the sewer.
My mind begins to make the movie play
As I am taken away to the years lost.
The sidewalk is marred with chalk
of where my childhood use to play
then you came and took me far away
to a life worse than hell.
my nose is in the corner where roaches crawl.
a whipping given by you because I began to bawl.
The hate erupted from that very lashing,
and resentment forever boiling.
I faint away in the background
as the blood slowly rushed out of me.
I wake up in a Heaven made of Hell
For anything was better than life itself.
Conceived out of nothing, a mistake at birth,
I was to be no part of your family
For I was given a name with a 'd' instead of 'c'.
A lifetime failure is what I would be.
I'm coughing up blood in the toilet
Where an image of you swirls in my head,
Hoping you'd die, wishing you dead,
Fire inside of me, burning all around me.
Satan can not scare me
Because he is too kind compared to you.
Your image engulfs my life.
God, I wish I was alive and you were dead.
Awaken from thought, I stop time.
My dream, a fantasy, a nightmare-
Wiping the sweat away, my dad grabs my wrist,
Pulling me away from my cozy world.
Oh childhood, where did you play?
On the beaches I run, but the ocean knows me not.
The toys are yet another stranger.
The scars on my knees and elbows are a mirage.
Oh, childhood, where could you play?
