The Wee Magic Stane

A song written by folk-singer Johnny McEvoy about the desperate English hunt for some lump of old Perthshire sandstone which went missing from London about 50 years ago...

O the Dean o' Westminster wis a powerful man,
He held a' the strings o' the State in his hand
And a' this great power it flustered him nane
Til some rogues ran away wi' his wee magic stane.
Wi a tooreli ooreli ooreli ay etc

Noo the stane had great powers tha could dae such a thing
For without it it seemed we'd be wantin' a king.
So he called in the polis and gave this decree
Go and hunt oot the stane and return it tae me.

So the polis went keekling way up tae the north
They hunted the Clyde and they hunted the Forth,
But the wild folk up yonder just pitied them a'
For they didnae believe it wis magic at a'.

Noo the Provost o' Glesga Sir Victor by name
He was very pit oot when he heard o' the stane,
So he offered the statues that stand in George Square
That the High Churches might mak a few mair.

When the Dean of Westminster with this wis acquent
He sent for Sir Victor and made him a saint.
'But it's no use you sending your statues down heah'
Said the Dean, 'but you've given me a jolly good idea'.

So he quarried a stane o' the very sane stuff
And he dressed it all up till it looked like enough,
Then he sent for the press and announced that the stane
Had been found and returned tae Westminster again.

When the thieves found out what Westminster had done
They ran aboot diggin' up stane by the ton
And for each one they finished they entered the claim
That this wis the real and original Stane.

But the cream o' the joke still remains tae be tellt
Fur the bloke that wis turnin' them aff on the belt
At the peak o' production wis sae sorely pressed
That the real yin got bunged in along wi' the rest.

So if ever ye come on a Stane wi' a ring
Just sit yersel' doon and proclaim yersel' King.
For there's nane wid be able tae challenge yer claim
That ye'd crowned yersel' King on the Destiny Stane.

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