Click here for "Cold" by Static-X
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-- Nemo me impune lacessit! -- ( Let him who offend me beware! ) -[ The scene opens up outside of a local chinese restauraunt called 'No. 1 China'. A young, teenage boy sits on the sidewalk in front of the restauraunt holding out an empy vienna sausage can and asking walkers-by for spare change. Of course, noone obliges seeing as how the boy is wearing at least $25 in make-up and has a bookbag full of comic books on his back. There is one person who sees fit to give this young man some money though... B-Pac slowly walks by this boy and notices his cry for help (or attention). He reaches into his pocked and pulls out a 20... tossing it into the boy's vienna sausage can. ]- Boy: "OH WOW, 20 BUCKS! Now I can pay my internet service provider this month!" B-Pac: "Internet? You're out here poor and begging for money on the streets... and you're worried about paying your internet bill?" Boy: "Errr... I'm not poor at all. I just figure it's much easier to sit out here in front of No. 1 China and beg for money instead of work for it." B-Pac: "That's not right, kid... whatever gave you that idea?" Boy: "Well, ya know I like to watch lots of cartoons and there is this one character on my favorite cartoon, Dragonnut Z, named Vicodin that does the same thing... and he is a mystical ninja whose power is only surpassed by his mystery." B-Pac: "Dragonnut, eh? Aren't you a little too old to be watching little kiddie cartoons?" Boy: "You mean you don't watch Dragonnut? ... but it's not a kiddie cartoon at all... it's a big boy cartoon because it has big boy stuff going on in it. For instance, a character named Mo Fugga likes to stab his enemies in the anus with his sword when he beats them up! Now would that be in a kiddie cartoon? Besides... with Dragonnut, they have special director's cuts that show 10-year old girl's boobies and young boys kissing." B-Pac: "I see... you're a sick one, you are. It's people like you that make this world suck to live in. I suspect I should laugh at you... and take this as a little joke... but no, I'm not gonna do that. You need to go home, little boy, and wash your damn face and get out and do something productive with your life." Boy: "Yeah, maybe you're right... but for now, I'm going home and me and all of my friends are gonna sit around the computer in lounge chairs and take turns typing various things about how our favorite wrestlers remind of of Dragonnut Z people! Yippy!" B-Pac: "You like wrestling, eh? Then you should know who I am..." Boy: "Yes, I know who you are. You're B-Pac from WoW. But noone knows who you are anymore... you're too undecisive and change your attitude every week. Why can't you just find something that you like and stick with it?" B-Pac: "Hmm... I'm sorry you feel that way... but I wasn't the one standing on the street corner begging for money to pay my internet bill was I? Kid, you need to learn some manners and respect. Why don't I just find something that I like and stick with it? I don't like alot of things... and when I sense a lack of dedication from others in my posse, I think that anyone would get up and move on to things that he knows will remain unchanged and stable. Thus is what I did. I made it so that I will be sure to carry on when those other clowns are gone. I put myself in a position to succeed with already successful people on my side that would work and not disappear every other week. I faked my retirement so I could come back and regain the momentum that was ripped from my hands after King Karnage. With Smoke Dawg and Wafer backing me up... I don't have to worry about being jumped by 8 people with my friends just sitting back stage and laughing, while touching each other's testicles. I can't see where I've done anything wrong... and any insults coming from you, little man, return void and don't phase me whatsoever. You're not me... and from the looks of things, you don't even know who you are. Sorry I couldn't be up to your standards... but frankly, your standards suck and don't mean shit. I've got more thing to worry about than what you think about me... I mean with Ichabod cutting promos that consist only of a cute little collage of ORS promos... and then, when Steve is talking, you can't hear him talking... only Ichabod talking back to him. Hey, maybe Ichabod needs to check Steve's mic out next time... but I'm sure he has better things to do like ride around Myrtle Beach all day / everyday. Now move outta my way, you freaky little bastard." -[ B-Pac shoves the boy, who stands there stunned and with his feelings hurt, out of the way and proceeds into No. 1 China. He approaches the counter and smiles at the short chinese lady behind it. ]- Lady: "How I help you, sir?" B-Pac: "Ummm... I'd like the number 4 combo, please." Lady: "And then?" B-Pac: "And then a Dr. Pepper to drink." Lady: "And then?" B-Pac: ".... and then an extra egg roll." Lady: "Aaaaand then?" B-Pac: "That's all, thank you." Lady: "AAAAAAND THENNNN?" B-Pac: "I'm done with my order now... " Lady: "AAAAANNNNDDDD TTTTHHHEEENNNN???" B-Pac: "NO AND THEN! I AM DONE ORDERING NOW! I WANT NOTHING ELSE!" Lady: ".... and then?" B-Pac: "Look lady... I've seen this done before and I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to make me angry so I will lose my cool and come over that counter and punch you in the face... then you'll sue me and put me in jail. So, ring up my order, tell me how much it is, I will pay you, and then give me my number 4 combo with my Dr. Pepper and my extra egg roll... PLEASE!?" Lady: "Okay, why so angry? I just want to get order right... you make me feel bad now. BUT NO MATTER! Food come right up." -[ B-Pac shakes his head as he grabs a fortune cookie and sits in the waiting chair next to the counter. He slowly opens up his fortune cookie and reads what it says in amazement: "Monday come, you kick much ass. Good things in future for you. Go take fortune cookie and give to lady at counter for one dollar discount on today's order!". B-Pac smiles and hops up from his chair as the scene fades... to... black. ]- |