Click here for "Cold" by Static-X
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-- Nemo me impune lacessit! -- ( Let him who offend me beware! ) -[ The scene opens up with a familiar Saleen S7 flying at a high speed down I-20. A Georgia Bulldog pennant flies from the driver's side window and a South Carolina Gamecocks pennant form the passenger's side window. Inside, we see B-Pac and Smoke Dawg listening to 95 Rock as a commercial break begins on the radio station. ]- Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen... are you ready for WoW Malice live this Monday night?! Tune in to see the Undisputed Title on the line as the defending champion Ichabod puts it up against Triple X, Sweet Cheapshots, and Dick Gazinya. Also in action is the team of Smoke Dawg and B-Pac taking on the team of Wicked D and Chandra in a first blood match!" -[ A blank looks comes across B-Pac's face as he cuts the radio off in the middle of the commercial. He looks over to Smoke Dawg, who has the same expression on his face. ]- B-Pac: "Umm... did that just say we're facing Wicked D and Chandra in a first blood match at Malice?" Smoke Dawg: "Yep... that's what it said, alright." B-Pac: "Dammit... why can't we get to face off against some decent and respectable opponents... someone that at least has a slight chance of beating us. Besides... how can you even tell if one of them bleeds? The ref will think the blood is part of their elaborate make-up scheme or something!" Smoke Dawg: "Yeah, really." B-Pac: "I mean, sure we lost at Ring Wars and all... but we're still without a doubt the most reliable and consistant talents that this place has ever known... and what do we get in return? Wicked D and Chandra. Sometimes I wonder why I even waste my time with WoW. The fans don't want to see B-Pac and Smoke Dawg beat the hell out of Wicked D and Chandra... They want to see B-Pac and Smoke Dawg get revenge. They want to see the ORS put ELITE to rest. But WoW doesn't care about the fans or even their wrestlers... they care about the money. It's always about the money. Speaking of which, do you know that in a recent survey, I am picked the most out of any of the guys on the X-Box version of Malice? It's true!" Smoke Dawg: "No way... you are not." B-Pac: "I AM SO! Remember, I showed you the paper that said it." Smoke Dawg: "Dude... YOU did that survey yourself." B-Pac: "... I never said I didn't. And that's beside the point I'm trying to make." Smoke Dawg: "Okay... maybe so. But the Dawgs still beat the Cocks 13-7... nothing you can do to switch that fact, huh? You must be devastated seeing as how you now owe me 25 bucks... pay up, loser." B-Pac: "Yeah... okay... SYKE! I don't have to pay you a penny because I still beat you at King Karnage." Smoke Dawg: "You're right... but I recall me taking away your IC title not too long after that." B-Pac: "Oh yeah, you're right... but uhhh Smokey, where is that IC title at now, huh?! I don't see it anywhere. Is it in the back seat? No. Trunk? No. At your house in a trophy case? Hell no." Smoke Dawg: "Don't make me pull this car over and beat your ass." B-Pac: "You'd have to pull over about 47 times before you'd beat my ass... but if it makes you feel better, go ahead and pull over." Smoke Dawg: "You know what?... THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL MUCH BETTER IF I DID PULL OVER!!!" -[ Just then, the car makes an abrupt turn to the side of the interstate as cars zip by. Smoke Dawg parks far enough from the road to open his door and turns on his caution lights. ]- B-Pac: "Dude! I was only kidding... I didn't mean anything by it! C'mon and shut your door and lets keep on going..." Smoke Dawg: "What the hell are you talking about?" B-Pac: "I didn't know you was gonna get mad and actually pull over to fight me... I was only kidding when I said that if it makes you feel better, then pull over." Smoke Dawg: "Ummm... I pulled over because I have to piss really really bad... and I have to go now! That's why I said that pulling over would make me feel much better." B-Pac: "You what?... umm... I knew that! Go ahead, dude." -[ Smoke Dawg steps out of the car and walks back into a wooded area as B-Pac opens his door and steps out to stretch. He gets a puzzled look on his face as he realizes that he has to go pretty bad, too. He looks around and unzips his pants as the camera cuts to black for a few moments ... ... ... The scene opens back up with B-Pac zipping his pants back up and letting out a sigh of relief. He smiles as he looks into the camera. ]- B-Pac: "Taking that whiz (don't you love that word?) reminded me of some people... Wicked D and Chandra to be exact. You see, just like taking a whiz, Wicked D and Chandra are 1)quick 2)easy and 3)aggrivating when you'd rather be doing something else. On the other hand, urinating is necessary for life... Wicked D and Chandra aren't necessary for anything at all. They're just a waste of our time... Smokey and I should be in that main event... we should be having our shots just like Cheapshots and Triple X and Dick are." -[ Just then, Smoke Dawg walks back up from his "break". ]- Smoke Dawg: "Who in the hell were you talking to just then?" B-Pac: "Well..." -[ B-Pac points to the camera as the cameraman waves at Smoke Dawg. ]- B-Pac: "We had a cameraman in the backseat all along!" Smoke Dawg: "Well, I'll be damned... who woulda thunk it?" -[ B-Pac, Smoke Dawg, and the cameraman all have a good laugh as the scene fades... to... black. ]- |