Click here for "Cold" by Static-X
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-- Nemo me impune lacessit! -- ( Let him who offend me beware! ) -[ The scene opens up inside of a local fitness center, where B-Pac is seen riding an excercise bike (it builds stamina you jack-ass!). The mileage meter reads 150 as B-Pac wipes the sweat from his face and steps down from the bike. Just then, Smoke Dawg burst in the training facility. He seems pissed at something as B-Pac gives him a puzzled look. ]- Smoke Dawg: "Dammit! Can you believe this bulls#!t?!" B-Pac: "What bulls#!t?" Smoke Dawg: "I'm getting fined for that last promo that I cut... you know, the one where we were watching Wicked D's promo?" B-Pac: "What?? We never cut a promo like that." Smoke Dawg: "Exactly what I thought... but come to find out... the dumb ass cameraman filmed us watching the promo before we cut yours... and sent the f**king thing in with a title and my name on it." B-Pac: "That is stupid! ... wait a minute... is it this same cameraman right here?" -[ Smoke Dawg and B-Pac take a good look at the cameraman, who vigorously shakes his head (as well as the camera) 'no'. ]- Smoke Dawg: "No... I don't think it's the same guy." B-Pac: "That's too bad... I was hoping to take your money's worth out of that little punk's ass." Smoke Dawg: "I mean, the fine isn't that much really. WoW knows better than to REALLY piss Smoke Dawg off." B-Pac: "You know... I think we should go ahead and send a message to that punk ass cameraman... by beating the hell outta this one!" Smoke Dawg: "Wait just a minute... you actually think that beating this cameraman up will make me feel better about that other cameraman costing me money? ... Well, you're damn right!" -[ Just then, Smoke Dawg grabs the lense of the camera and shoves it into the cameraman's face causing the camera and it's operator to fall to the ground. The signal gets lost for a few moments before being turned back on to a disorienting atmosphere seeing as how it's now being turned sideways and upside down. Finally, the camera gets situated and turns to B-Pac who shaking his right hand as blood drips from his knuckles. The cameraman turns the camera on himself showing that it is now Smoke Dawg operating it. He smiles and puts the shot back on B-Pac. ]- B-Pac: "Can you believe that guy? The asshole made me bust my knuckles open on his nose!" Smoke Dawg: "I just realized something funny... WoW will fine me for that cameraman sending in that bogus promo... but they don't fine us a penny for beating the living s#!t out of their over-paid cameramen!" B-Pac: "Hey, I never thought about that... but I'm starting to wish we didn't just smack that guy around like a 90 year old woman with Parkinson's taking too long in the grocery aisle." Smoke Dawg: "Why? It was your idea, remember?" B-Pac: "Yeah, I know... but now we're gonna get the generic and default reaction from Wicked D and Chandra... that we're so weak that we gotta beat up on cameramen... but to hell with it. Everything is generic and default from them anyway." Smoke Dawg: "And that is exactly why I'm not even worried about that match with them. I mean, there is no way we're gonna lose... sure Wicked and Chandra can beat up.. ummm... let's say PKA and Morbius or Christian Wright and Screech from Saved by the Bell... but they'll never quite compare to what we have... and that is raw talent and pure ability." B-Pac: "Hey, I don't blame you. I'm not worried at all either... but I was thinking that maybe we could just use the same dialog from our old promos over and over just in different places every now and then like Dick Gazinya... hell, it worked for him and he even won the World Title with that tactic." Smoke Dawg: "No, that won't work for us... we're the 'too good to be held up' type. Since we're better than everyone else in the world, we are viewed and judged on a different scale than everyone else. We can't make mistakes or slip up once... or else thats the end for us. No questions asked and we're automatically in the wrong." B-Pac: "Yeah... I guess I have to start thinking with the brain in my head instead of the brain in Dick. What works for him won't work for us." Smoke Dawg: "Exactly." -[ B-Pac stops to ponder that thought for a minute or two. While he's doing that, Smoke Dawg takes the opportunity to film the other people in the workout room... namely a hot, blonde chick doing squats with her back turned to the camera. Smoke Dawg gets a closeup of her hard, firm buns and takes note of her sleek, perfectly rounded, hourglass figure. As she finishers her squats and turns around, Smoke Dawg films a very nice shot of her silky, soft stomach and her tight, yet bouncy breasts. As her head turns towards the camera and notices it filming her, Smoke Dawg quickly jerks the view to a general direction and acts as if he's not filming anything in particular... a veteran move, I must say. As he turns the camera back to B-Pac, who has finished thinking and was checking out the woman as well, B-Pac smiles and shakes his head. ]- B-Pac: "Did you get that shot?" Smoke Dawg: "Oh yeah... I got it." B-Pac: "You know what that means, don't you?" Smoke Dawg: "Umm... no, what does that mean?" B-Pac: "It means you have to get her to sign a release form saying that we can use her image on our promo... and since you're the cameraman, YOU have to get her to sign it!" Smoke Dawg: "Really? DAMMIT! ... then she's gonna know we were checking her out." B-Pac: "Dude... I think she already knows..." Smoke Dawg: "She does? How can you tell?" B-Pac: "Because... she just started doing squats again... right there behind you... and has her back facing us... with her sweet, juicy ass pointed right in my face..." Smoke Dawg: "Wow... you weren't kidding..." B-Pac: "What the hell are you doing?" Smoke Dawg: "I'm looking at her ass, what do you think I'm doing?" B-Pac: "Don't just look at her ass, Smokey... get that s#!t on film!" -[ Smoke Dawg quickly turns the camera to the woman's ass as the scene fades... to... black. ]- |