The dictionary defines "mistake" as an incorrect, unwise, or unfortunate act or decision caused by bad judgment or a lack of information or care.

Being an adoptee, I never liked to think of my birth as a mistake but rather an "OOPS". Studies say 90% of pregnancy's were not planned by the parents but how many of that 90% decides on facing the fact that their actions created a life and that they are now and will forever be responcible for raising that child. Or the percentage of the ones that for whatever personal reasons, decide adoption is the best remedy.

We, as a society loves to point fingers. We judge and condemn. Most seem so consumed in what others think about them that they conform to societies "rules". This is what has happened with a huge portion of adoptions. Instead of embracing a young lady and providing the tools to equip herself in raising a child, the pregnancy is shamed. The girl is told that adoption is the best option. She has her whole life ahead of her and the child deserves a chance to lead a "normal productive life" with two loving parent's. Years ago there was not a lot of resources available so I can reason with the notion that adoption was thought to be the best alternative. Today there are so many aides to help a young mother. But unfortunatly times has not changed with societies view on unwed pregnant teenagers. And that is where the nation has failed and will continue to fail if we don't educate people on the "true" results of adoption. With the millions of adoptee's, I can tell someone I'm adopted and see their eyebrows raise. Adoption is still one of the least talked about subjects and adoptee's will always be seperated from societies mainstream.

Where do adoptee's fit in? Where do we belong? How many of us adopted feel like we are in a continual dream state. Waiting to wake up. Some adoptee's are content with their life. No problem's what so ever. They fully accept their adoption and are living a "normal productive life". So what about the rest of us. Most of us adoptee's have so many complex issues that only another adoptee could possibly understand. I laugh at how many times I have tried to explain my feelings to a non-adoptee and they look at me like I'm crazy. But in one simple word, all adoptee's want is "validation". We want to belong. We want acceptance. No one could ever understand what it's like to look in the mirror every day and wonder where you got your looks from. Or see the look on the doctor's face when you can't fill out your family medical history on the forms. These are just a couple of examples that adoptee's are faced with. So to say an adoptee can lead a "normal productive life" how can they?

Adoption to some is a heroic, loving gesture for adopting parents. How many time's have I read the paper where another celebrity has adopted a foreign baby. Pats on the back, well done. It does not matter if that child is adopted to a parent with all the money in the world. That baby will grow up to face the same issues that all adoptee's will and do. Not to mention the cultural difference which will definately bring up the adoption topic when that child hits school age and is confronted by their classmates. Adopted parents need to understand at the very beginning that there will be questions. There will be confusion. And one day that child may want to find and meet the birth parents.

We can change the world on adoption. It can be done. Society needs to become educated. It can start in school. Adoption and the effects can be entered in to health class as a topic. If we teach our children about sex, precautions, and pregnancy, why do we stop there? Abortion is talked about more than adoption. After we educate our children we should mandate a law that birth parents and adopting parents be required to council with an adult adoptee or adoptee group. Who better to answer their questions than an adoptee? But the biggest group that concerns me is the government. Adoption is a money maker. I honestly believe that if we implement the above this could greatly reduce the numbers of adoption. We still have to accept adoption, and in some cases it is in the child's best intrest. Together we can change how adoptions is handled. We can't change the past but we can change the future!