By five in the afternoon, everyone else in this mind-numbing corporate office has gone home for the night. They go home, we assume, in their flashy cars to their big fancy houses, where lives their husband or wife and 2.5 children, to eat a meal which has been cooked to perfection. Tonight’s Friday, which means they’ll come back on Monday satisfied due to the sex that took place at the weekly time of the night before, at precisely ten o’clock.
We go home at this time, as well. We drive in our flashy car to our apartment, where we are greeted by no-one, to eat two frozen TV-dinners. It doesn’t really matter when we have sex because we have it when we feel like it and only with ourselves.
At least, that’s what we’d usually do. I’d really like to go home right now but he won’t let me.
Damn right I won’t.
Why not? I’m bloody tired. I’ve worked today and you’ve done shit-all.
Come on. Have a little fun. I want to show you something exciting. Please…
I hate it when he gets like that, his voice so infant-like and cute and showing that he can turn aggressive at any moment. I always agree.
“Aren’t ‘we’ going home tonight?”
We look up from our desk, out towards our office door. The last of the mind-numbing corporate people is leaning against the doorframe. The ‘we’ in their voice was stressed, heavily. “Yes, we are. Aren’t you?”
“Yes. Just letting the pair of you know that you are the last tonight to leave so turn off the lights and lock up after yourselves.”
“Fine.”
“See you both on Monday.”
“Good-night.”
They stare in to our office still, a sneer crossing their lips. A sneer we know all too well. “Did you want something else?”
“No, that’ll be all.” They push themselves off the doorframe and walk away. A few moments pass before they yell out: “Lunatic!”
He wants to yell out but I try to stop him.
She really isn’t any fun. She’s a pain in my ass. “Fuck you!” I yell out, triumphant. I’m disappointed at the lack of response from our colleague.
I sigh at his behaviour. I don’t know why I bother anymore.
We shut down our computer and slip our feet into the high heels under our desk, which he forced me to kick off at exactly 9:01am this morning. We stand up, leaving our paperwork all over the desk. We’d usually take it home, but he says there’s no need to today so we won’t.
The surprise goes all weekend.
I need to do this work.
No, you don’t. Take a chill pill, baby. I’m taking you away on a nice relaxing trip this weekend.
A bed and breakfast? I don’t know if I can put up with you for a whole weekend in bed.
You’ve put up with me for fifteen years, I’m sure another weekend won’t hurt.
He’s got a point. At least he’s a better partner in bed than every other lover I’ve had.
I can’t say the same for her.
We stand up, throwing on our business jacket. We straighten our tie in the mirror and smooth down our skirt. We start walking down to the lift to take us home, turning off the lights and locking the doors shut as we go.
In the cold, metal waiting bay, waiting for the elevator to come, we press the arrow that points up.
Why on earth does he want to go up?
She presses the down arrow. Stupid woman. Stupid female.
We’re going up!
We’re going down!
The surprise is upstairs.
You said it’s a trip.
It is.
So why aren’t we leaving the building?
We will. I just want to show you something first. You must trust me somewhat – you’re still alive.
The doors open, we step in, the doors close, we press the button for level twenty-nine. The rooftop.
I link our fingers together in front of us. He pulls our hands behind us. I place our legs together, protecting any modesty I’ve ever had. He controls and we stand with our legs apart.
He controls.
Don’t feel bad.
We don’t even know which gender we are and he tells me not to feel bad. I have to look in the mirror each morning to remind myself I’m female. With a man living inside me. My best friend, my enemy, my lover, the only person who can understand when we’re told we’re insane or crazy or ill… it’s him who should feel bad, I should feel guilty.
The doors swing open, we step out onto the cold cement rooftop, we’re alone out here.
We walk to the edge and look down. Our car sits far below us, waiting. I don’t like his surprise anymore.
Don’t be chicken.
She’s become… more annoying (being kind here) over the past couple of years. So we’re viewed as freaks. We’ve been viewed as freaks ever since we met, at fifteen. Secretly we’d to be everybody else – with spouse and 2.5 children. I don’t view her as my wife – I view her as someone I’m stuck with. Forever.
We don’t have a chance in hell to get married. Not while no-one wants to get into a relationship with someone who can’t make up their mind as to wherever they’re male or female. Things would be much easier if she disappeared and I could finally be a man in a man’s body… no more pink clothing, no more frilly underwear… we both know I’m the stronger of the two, the one who’d survive.
So we going to jump or stand here like scared chickens?
Jump? That’s the surprise?!
This is the best way. You know it is because I know it is and I’ve never been wrong. I know how tired you are of all the shit we get… we can be one person, like you’ve always wanted.
One person. Pity she won’t be around to experience what she’s always wanted. I’ll do it for her.
He’s right. He’s always right. I think.
Are you sure?
Of course.
And we’ll really be one?
We really will. One gender…
Male.
… one personality…
Mine.
… you know it sounds fantastic. Freedom.
We shakily place one foot out over the edge. If he says it’s the best decision, we must know in our heart that it is.
If I die, won’t you die as well?
Don’t be stupid. We can’t both die. Just close your eyes and go.
Our skirt flips up, our tie chokes us and our jacket serves as a cape as we drop towards our car.
We throw our hands over our face and squeeze our eyes shut, as we wait for the impact of bones, skin, muscle and blood destruct against the metal and glass.
If I die, won’t you die as well?
Her words resound inside our head.
Our eyes open in horror.
Oh, shit –
Our body smashes against the metal of our Mercedes Benz.
On the news, one body and two personalities are found dead.