‘Because I have other things to do.’
‘That’s not going to cut it this time.’
‘Look, I’m sorry, alright?’
‘You don’t call me. Ever.’
‘I called you yesterday!’
‘Oh yes, so you did. To tell me we had to use my car because your car broke down because you were drag racing – yet again – for our date in which you said you’d ring after but you didn’t!’
‘Would you calm down, woman? It’s ten in the bloody morning!’
‘You should be up at ten.’
‘… Look, can we talk later? I’m tired.’
‘No. We have to talk now.’
‘Why?!’
‘Because you were supposed to call me!’
‘There’s another fourteen hours left in the day to do that.’
‘You wouldn’t do it.’
‘Hmm.’
‘You better not be ignoring me.’
‘I can’t see you in person, I can’t be ignoring you.’
‘You can ignore my voice.’
‘I can? Thanks.’
‘… Sarcasm!’
‘Oh. And I’m not ignoring you.’
‘Then what was that ‘hmm’ for?’
‘I didn’t know what else to say.’
‘You didn’t want to admit to it.’
‘Admit to what?’
‘Admit to that you wouldn’t call me!’
‘Oh for fuck’s sake!’
‘Please don’t swear.’
‘Please don’t piss me off!’
‘Am I annoying you?’
‘No, darling. Of course not. You’re not annoying me. You’re not pissing me off at all by waking me up at ten when I didn’t get in until two this morning only to scream at me. I hope you caught the sarcasm.’
‘I missed you.’
‘I was asleep.’
‘Did you miss me?’
‘What is this, Twenty Questions?’
‘You didn’t miss me, did you?’
‘Do you want me to continue being a compulsive liar or tell the truth?’
‘The truth.’
‘Okay. You’re a completely obsessive, possessive bitch and I don’t love you anymore.’
‘… you don’t mean that.’
‘I do.’
‘Bastard.’
‘Calling me a bastard isn’t changing my mind about you.’
‘I love you.’
‘No, you don’t. You want someone to control and to do things when you tell them to. I’m not a doormat. As of this conversation, we’re through.’
‘You’re lying to me.’
‘No, I’m not. Say your goodbyes and go outside into the cold.’
‘I’m not afraid of the cold.’
‘I think you are, so rug up warmly. Bye bye, now.’