Come on in, my Beauties.."
Aunt Ina said to her Prego family- that had come together for her weekly 'Bedtime Story'.
An elfish smile crossing her face."Now, let's see here.." she said, thumbing through the 'Tyler Wentworth Book' as Rooskie blurted out excitedly, "Tell us about Adam and Tyler, Aunt Ina!"
"Oh, YES! Pllleeeeaaasssee" begged little Shelly L, who-like the others- had waited all week to hear
'Part Two'.
Marking the chapter with her finger, Aunt Ina studied the looks of hopeful anticipation on their beautiful faces before saying, "OK, Babies, if that's what you want, then that's what you shall have!
" Placing a Luden's Cherry Cough drop into her mouth she began,
"Chapter Two-Warm, tropical breezes cascaded over Miss Tyler Wentworth and her new beau, "Adam"- the man who a few short weeks ago-with his huge hose in hand had smothered one fire, only to ignite a flame of smoldering, lurid, passion.
('A passion unseen since, Liz Taylor stole skinny ole Eddie Fisher from that cute, little Debbie Reynolds..' Aunt Ina added as a side note)
"Ole Tyler couldn't believe it! Just four weeks ago, Adam had burst through her doorway, and now here she was on this Caribbean Island, with this absolut hunk.
And hunk, he was! His form was perfect she thought, sipping a Long Island Ice Tea- a tiny umbrella floating amid the ice chips and bamboo straw.
"Just look at him!" she said out loud to herself as he scissor cut the crystal clear Laguna water like he had been born to it, his golden skin- taut and smooth.
Only the water's tug of his thong revealed a bikini line so precise, Tyler felt almost… envious.
"Oh, look at that Hunk, over there!" a gay guy said to another, as Tyler continued to sip her cocktail- her large brimmed hat shading her delicate features from the harsh, UV rays.
"I can't blame them," she thought. "He's quite the 'eye candy'..
By the way, he's caught a lot of looks this trip, especially from some of the most unusual people. Like the maid today who changed the bed while Adam was in the shower, just what was she looking for, stolen towels? And then those middle aged tourists who wanted us to take their picture outside the 'Palms Hotel' and then followed us all day, as we shopped…Then that group of Conventioneers, who mobbed us in the lobby..
Hardly anybody noticed me. She said disappointed. "Not even that rag, 'The Tattler' and they always want to know about next year's line!
"Stretching, Tyler said with a yawn, "Oh, well-that's the price you pay for having the OOAK,
'Absolut Hunk'
as she drifted off to sleep."Pardon me, "Mo'm?" a voice low and deep interrupted Tyler's tranquil siesta. She was about to reply, 'make it a double' as she wiped a bead of drool off her chin, but instead looked up saying
"Yes?"
"I'm Lt. Rastaphari, Mo'm-and we'd like to ask you some questions about Matthew Sean Patrick O'Neal AKA,
"Adam"--the 'Absolut Hunk'.
Can you be comin' down to the Station, with me?"
A flood of panic swept over Tyler as she scanned the beach for him…..Adam was gone!


"Oh, Aunt Ina! This is terrible!"- Said Derek, clutching his hands to his throat.
"Yes, Not our Adam-I can't believe it!" protested Karin.

"Now Girls and Guys, don't fret too much, you know it was bound to happen-all those names, and jobs and such.
" Aunt Ina replied, certain no good could come out of such confusion.

"Keep going, Aunt Ina" DebWest said, dipping her cookie in a cup of milk.
"Yeah, lets hear more" Evelyn added, taking a bite from her second Snickerdoodle..

"Okay Honey's, Okay.." Aunt Ina said, wondering for herself just where this story would take them.."
Tyler dressed only in a white linen gown with fancy hand stitched flowers all about it, left with Lt. Rastafari in a car so tiny, it reminded her of the kind the Shriner's rode around in back home in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
"Oh, if only I were home with Sydney and Esme, they'd know what to do!" she processed. Chewing on the end of the silk 'Billie Holiday' flower from her hair, which she had decided was a bad idea, silently said a prayer,
" Oh, dear Coco Chanel… whatever it is, help me to come through it ok-You always have before . ."
A faint smile crossed her lips as she remembered the last time she'd prayed and how that situation came out ok. Recalling that she and a certain Broadway actress got into a physical altercation at the Saks Fifth Avenue yearly 'Blow Out Sale' .
She'd yanked a cashmere sweater right out of Kate Ebsen's hands and she had so loudly lamented, causing the entire third floor staff and patrons to stop dead in their tracks,
"TAKE IT TYLER WENTWORTH AND BLOW IT OUT YOUR …." As s oon as they arrived.. "
AS Soon!! AS S OON!!, yelled Mardi with sheer delight, causing Aunt Ina to stop reading and look up."Get it? Get it? 'blow it out your ass soon! AS S SOON!" she said, kicking her feet high into the air with glee, barely missing Becky in TX-who had her hair tied up Pippy Longstocking style on the sides of her head, "Watch it Mardi-Jeez!" she said, turning back to Aunt Ina to continue."Too Much Sugar" someone said from the back of the room said before Aunt Ina gave a friendly nod and continued,
"As soon as they arrived at the tiny headquarters, Tyler could see Adam out front, a throng of fans circling him…circling him for……Tyler let out a pensive moan, and a shudder all at the same time,
"AUTOGRAPHS!"
Yep, there he was big as life.." Ina said, holding the book high enough her Prego Pal's in the back to see the illustration of Adam in a nearly 'see thru' thong.
"his white thong still wet and clinging to his bronzed skin which now was beginning to look like 'second grade shoe leather'- at least to Tyler.
"See, Misses Wentworth, we con't be haven' that sort of thing down here on the Island, unless he's going' to be apply'n for a permit-mo'n." Lt. Rastafari said.
The realization hit her smack in the face like that fly ball at Miss Porter's School for Girls. She realized then, like now a few things... Mainly that team sports with other girls, really weren't her thing..And a man who garners more attention and autographs than a beautiful, articulate, educated, well-to-do-woman, isn't such a 'pretty sight' anyway.And so my Babies, it came to pass-this brief sojourn of lustful love was drawing to a close as Tyler Wentworth-fashion maven of 'the new generation' and member of the Forbes 500 list, hollered out from the back of that little Shriner car, (Like a Barker hawking fake ID cards at a University RAVE party)
"For Pete's Sakes-ADAM! Get in this car-We're going home ……..NOW!!"
The EndClosing the book, LeeAnn in PA asked, "But Aunt Ina, couldn't they have worked it out with counseling, or something!!"- Visibly shaken by the outcome of such a love.
"No, honey, that wasn't possible-Any man who spends more time in front of a mirror than any woman- posing and strutting like a Pea Fowl, his feathers all fluffed, perfumed and preened, isn't really-Absolut e , after all, is he?"
No Ma'am" came her reply, but she didn't really believe it.

"Now Babies, lets get up and go in that bathroom and brush our teeth, good and clean… first one done can crawl in bed with me, as long as you don't kick, and you can tell me all about your work week…."

The End!Have a glorious weekend, y'all-we love ya-Dave and Aunt Ina