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Mood:  hug me

I got a job today. I should be feeling really happy and relieved, but I am so sad, cuz my school break starts on Wednesday, and that means I can go visit home and see my kitty's. I was really looking forward to seeing them and playing with them and having them sleep in my bed with me. I'm so sad. I get a couple days off to go visit, but Jason works those days, which means I can go up there by myself and see them. By the time I would get back home, Jason would be heading back up to Rocklin to visit, because he would be off work....I'm so down. I really didn't want to find a job until after my break....

School School School
Mood:  lazy
I'm glad this has turned into a yearly diary entry....just letting anyone who reads this know that I remembered my site again...Well I'm living on a boat in Jack London Square and its defiantly an experience. The only downfall right now is that when the shitter fills up you gotta walk all the way up to the private bathrooms at the harbor master until someone comes and pumps the poop out. That's ok, cuz it's a funny downfall. I'm almost done with my first semester at school (Academy of Art). It went well. I'm surprised at how much I have improved in my drawing skills in just 2 months. I'm happy with how I've done. I was scared I was going to be shitty compared to everyone else, but it's not the case and that makes me feel good. I've always been competitive in school to try to be the best. It's sad, but it works for me. The only thing I really really miss, is my kitty, Felix. I hate more than anything leaving him behind. He would hate it though if I brought him, so it's either me happy, or him happy. Even if I did bring him, my mom's kitten just wouldn't know what to do without him. It's depressing.

Nothing New
Mood:  spacey
Well....There's not much reason for me to have this blog thing...I would only use it for when I'm down. I havn't been down lately. The weird thing is I'm not the type of person to tell the whole world about how I feel anyways...I guess I felt like trying something new. In fact I had completely forgotten about this place, until someone reminded me of the lack of updates. Been working a lot, been sick for a month, and have a couple offers to paint murals...Extra money is always good. Speaking of money, I actually spent $75 on myself. I dont buy myself things often, so this is exciting. I just need to find something to wear this stuff too. Well I guess that's it for today...well its probably it for the next couple months, heh. Who knows. see ya later, so long, happy thanksgiving.

Life of a high school graduate
Well...schools been out for quite some time and things are much less stressfull. Me and my man have been together for more than 3 months, and still going strong. It's not long, but long enough. Went to hawaii the other week, it was pretty cool, though I was disapointed at how different ohau is compared to the other island I've been to. It was like driving around in L.A. or S.F. some of the times. Just a little bit too much tourism for me. Working a lot, doing the same old thing, getting paid jack shit, and working hard while doing it. Jackass John left work with a couple tissues. Stupid man... That's I have to say about him. I'm not working with very many smart hardworking people, so it's frustrating, so not only am I working all day, but I am also babysitting all day. I need to find more money to be able to go to the academy of art. Oh, another thing, didn't pass the A.P. exam on my art... a little let down. Well I knew it was going to happen, I believe that I had the ability to pass it, but I didn't produce the right peices with the right kind of quality. Whatever works, life moves on, hopefully I will too. But generally things are good, which is probably another reason that I havn't been heard from in some time.

Life if looking good
I've got myself a boyfriend.....I'm almost done with school. Senior Ball is this saturday, and since i've got a boyfriend I actually have a date to it. I'm almost done with my AP art portfolio. I've got all of my things scheduled for government to finish that off. And well computer studies....not much to say about that class. I will graduate soon. Stress was rediculous, but slowly its being relieved. I found a dress yesturday. I know, I am very last minute. It's nice, simple, black, and pretty little silver purse to go with it. Finally High School will be over, but i've noticed people still seem to act like they are in high school out of it....It's sad how people just can't grow up.

My Birthday
Well, I'm 18 today....I can now legally get screwed tattooed, peirced, and I can smoke. It's great...

Things are beginning to look up....
Well....I said all I needed to do was find a guy, and well I did. We arn't anything yet, but I'm really excited about this one, and really scared. I don't think he really wants a relationship right now, but I dont know. I dont really want a relationtship right now, I was just lonley. A couple friends, him, and I rented a hotel room, partied and had some fun. Well he and I ended up sleeping on the pull out sofa-bed, with no bedsheets and we were basically freezing. So of course the only natural way to keep to people warm was to cuddle all night.....well, lets just say that I've been hanging out with him everyday since. A couple days before, we had rented a different hotel room and partied and played a little game of naughty dice. That was the first time I realized I had a crush on this guy. So far its not really going anywhere. He is a really good guy, and Im pretty sure of it this time. Well, whether something happens from this or not, I'm excited at the moment. So lets just wait and see.....

Sanity is always a plus
I've been feeling sane lately, its surprizing how nice it feels. I'm relaxed, never worried, and I don't cry, imagine that. The stress of school is dieing down. Graduation is coming and I really need to worry about it my art assignments, and I only have to finish 4 more. I don't have any immediate deadlines with it either. My birthday is coming up soon, and I should be a blast, with bands playing, tons of food, and a lot of good people. I'm all set up for college and Im just cruizin' now. It feels great. I will never have to attend high school again. Though the thought of working just about everyday of my life is always a downer. Now that everything is goin' good, all I need to do is find a guy....screw that, he'll only destroy up my sanity with complications.

Pulling Teeth
Well....I know I havn't written in this in a while, but with the fact the my computer breaks down every five minutes is making it a bit difficult. I've been having problems lately, but I'm ok I think. I'm over my boss....finally. I'm going to go see my dad and sister soon. And well, I got my wisdom teeth pulled yesturday at about 4pm. My mouth hurts like crazy, cuz of course with my luck my teeth were in the positions that hurt the most. I'm on vicodin, and i've got an ice pack by my side. I get to eat apple sauce and pudding when I can. Maybe now that I have nothing to do, can't work, go to school, or hang out with anyone is the perfect time to get working on some of those art assignments of been avoiding. I feel bad, my best friend moved away and I hardly call her or talk to her... I think its sort of a defense mechanism. I miss her like crazy, but when I'm reminded she's not around it makes me sad. I know its making her feel like I don't care, but I do. On another note, I hate it when you've been so fucking deceived by a person, you honestly with everything inside of you believed this person was someone really good inside and really an honest person. When you find out it was all a lie, it sorta hurts....

Jesus Christ last night was insane!
Man on man.....I was pretty damn wasted last night. Toni, my boss, Tasha, and I went to Jen's house and fucking killed ourselves with liquor, well Toni and I did at least. Yes, my boss came and partied with us again. This time he didn't get wasted beyond belief, instead Toni and I just freaked him by getting wasted ourselves and saying really horrible things..haha. I've never actually admitted that I want him to his face, Toni always tells him, well last night, being the dumb fuck that I am, got all weird and soppy and told him how I felt. Well....Yeah, I think he just got sorta weirded out, and I asked about the whole kissing thing, and he said he was joking.....so, my boss is infact a good guy who wont cheat on his wife. I know I'm stupid for thinking that maybe he wanted me in some sick little way, but a girl can hope, right? We were dancing and I fucking took my shirt off....Gotta go.