Waittress: How may I help you today, sir? Do you know what you'd like to order?
Gollum: hisssss...Gollum knows, Gollum wantsss yousssessss...
Smeagol: (squeaks) No gollum, bad gollumses! We wants a nice glasses of woiter (water), pleases! Smeagol loves woiter!
(Waittress is shocked)
Waittress: Um, sir, so that's a glass of water, anything else?
Gollum: We doesn't want woiter! Woiter (hissss)is badd! Cleansing! Hisss! Yucks! We never orderses WOITER!!!
Smeagol: Yess, we didses!
Gollum:No! Dry martini, nowses! (pounds fist on table)
Waittress: Um, sir? I'll get you your martini now...(backs away nervously)
New Waittress: Hi, I'm Betty! (flips hair preppily) I'm your new waittress today! Nancy didn't like you, so she's serving Saddam Hussien's table! Boy, isn't he cute?
Gollum: Ewwwses...preppy ladies. we don'ts wants herses, no we don'ts, does we Sssssmeagol?
Smeagol: (eyes shining) Yes we does wants her, yes we does...
TO BE CONTINUED
