| Walk or jog in the middle of the road, even though you have a sidewalk. |
| Whenever possible, jog or walk at night. Always wear dark clothes when you do this. |
| If you are walking your dog, make sure the leash is long enough for the dog to be in the street, even if you're on the side walk. |
| If you own a home with a front lawn, make sure the water sprinkler gets anyone wet who tries to walk or pass your house. |
| Bicycles do not have to obey motor vehicle rules. Feel free to speed through red lights. |
| Adult bicycle riders should ride on the sidewalk whenever possible. |
| Everyone knows that pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way. So, step directly in front of a moving car the split second it approaches to see the driver "freak-out" and slam on the brakes. |
| Make sure the reflectors are missing off your bicycle. |
| Never ride your bicycle on the correct side of the road. |
| When biking on a main road, weave from side to side. |
| The best place to learn to do bicycle stunts like "wheelies" is on a busy vehicular road. |
| Cross busy intersections against the light. Walk up to moving cars in the intersection and kick them to pretend they hit you. |
| Tie your dog up to the front of your bicycle and have him pull you on the sidewalk and street. Do the same with roller blades and skateboards. |
| When walking your dog and see an approaching jogger, allow your dog to sniff the other persons crotch. |
| Never use hand signals when riding a bike in traffic. |
| Make abrupt turns and swerves on your bike. |
| When crossing a street, never look before stepping into the road. However, if your kids do the same thing, grab them by the hair and scream at the them. |
| When a vehicle at an intersection is waiting for you to cross, take your time so that the driver misses the green light. |
| When walking back to your car in a shopping center, walk with your whole family side by side down the middle of the aisle so that cars have to drive 1 mph behind you. When the drivers honk, give them a dirty look, because you have the right of way. |
| When walking your dog, allow it to defecate on other peoples lawn. |
| When approaching a pedestrian cross walk, stop your vehicle over the line so that the pedestrians have to walk around the front of your car, into traffic, to cross the road. |
