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Edition: 4, December 17, 2003
www.flaming-chickens.com
*THE PSOPC NEEDS YOU TO SEND
IN MUCH NEEDED (PICTURES OF) SUPPLIES FOR THE OFFICIAL FLAMING-CHICKENS LUNAR
COLONY! WE NEED CARDBOARD BOXES, ALUMINUM FOIL, WHITE CHICKEN FEATHERS, RED AND
WHITE PAINT, THERMAL-NUCLEAR THRUSTERS, AND MUCH, MUCH MORE.
E-MAIL psopc@flaming-chickens.com
PICTURES OF THESE ITEMS AND YOU’LL GAIN A
PLACE OF HONOR WHEN WE FLEE THE DOOMED EARTH AND START A NEW,
(GRAVITY-FREE) LIFE! FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE READ THE LONGEST TEXT EVER
(PROBABLY SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE).
Hello, and welcome to the fourth
edition of the Official Flaming-Chickens Electronic Magazine, or OFCEM for
short!
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Today’s
relevant and informative fact is the little known Welsh Mafia (also known
as the Tafia). The Tafia
performs numerous illegal activities, such as arts and crafts, price
protests, cheese/chocolate eating, etc.
The Tafia is unique in that it is the only known “mafia” to not
be a member of organized crime. Generally
speaking…that’s what a “mafia” is.
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Also, the Welsh
Mafia has made a stunning breakthrough and put the first Mobster on the
Moon! You can check out the rest of the story by clicking the link at the
bottom of this page. There’s
a virtual plethora of information concerning the Welsh Mafia, they even
have a home page. This home
page states that all people of Welsh decent are welcome in the Tafia, so
if your ancestors are from Wales…you can be a proud member of the Tafia! |
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In related news
(not really but it’s cool anyway) a man from Clarkstown New York was
arrested for impersonating a police man.
The man attempted to pull over an off-duty police officer, who
immediately realized that the man was an idiot. What more can I say? As
we have no weird holiday for this month (that I know of) I shall entertain
you by describing nothing. Okay.
I’m doneJ |
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In Official Flaming Chickens News, this month brought about the Violent/Creative Quiz…er…and that’s it. This month also saw the glorious beginning of the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony Site’s Hall O’ Fame! Remember to donate the much-needed supplies! (Please send in pics via e-mail of cardboard boxes, duct tape, aluminum foil, chicken feathers, rockets, nuclear war heads, etc., etc.) The Sort of Big Button That Will Eventually Do Something was also created this month, causing mass panic as otherwise normal people attempted to get the Button to do SOMETHING FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH:
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Organized people are just to lazy to look for their stuff.
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I can’t explain it to you because it’s top secret military
technology…but you can buy it at Wal-Mart for $14.95.
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Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead,
try to ask a question or two.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I
said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
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The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the
rest willing to let them.
COMING EVENTUALLY: TO A FLAMING-CHICKENS WEBSITE NEAR YOU!
· How obsessed with this site are you Quiz?
· Many, Many, Many more Longest Text Ever Entries.
· Which Mystical Creature are you Quiz?
· I’ll work on the OFCLC site…I promise…
· And much, much more.
REMEMBER, THE NEXT ZINE COMES OUT January 17!
Hey, did you know that you can access the OFCEM archives? You didn’t? Just click on the first green hit-counter on the main page (http://www.flaming-chickens.com)
Or you can just go to https://www.angelfire.com/scary/weaselminions It’s worth it…I think…maybe…it’s not like you’re paying anything. So it MUST be worth it, because…uh…I don’t know. Just go there!
Tafia Link (Don’t believe the Tafia is actually the Welsh Mafia? Search Welsh Mafia and you’ll see proof!)
http://www.geocities.com/thechicagotafia/
Welsh Mafia Link
http://xo.typepad.com/blog/2003/10/mafia_puts_firs.html
