Edition: 5, January 17, 2003
www.flaming-chickens.com
*THE PSOPC NEEDS YOU TO SEND IN MUCH NEEDED (PICTURES OF) SUPPLIES FOR THE OFFICIAL FLAMING-CHICKENS LUNAR COLONY! WE NEED CARDBOARD BOXES, ALUMINUM FOIL, WHITE CHICKEN FEATHERS, RED AND WHITE PAINT, THERMAL-NUCLEAR THRUSTERS, AND MUCH, MUCH MORE. E-MAIL psopc@flaming-chickens.com PICTURES OF THESE ITEMS AND YOU’LL GAIN A PLACE OF HONOR WHEN WE FLEE THE DOOMED EARTH AND START A NEW, (GRAVITY-FREE) LIFE! FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE READ THE LONGEST TEXT EVER (PROBABLY SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE).
Hello, and welcome to the fifth edition of the Official Flaming-Chickens Electronic Magazine, or OFCEM for short!
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Woot! January has many unique and weird holidays, it’s so special! Today, January 17th, is Penguin Awareness Day! That’s right. So, make sure you learn all you can about this most sacred of flightless birds. January 21st is Squirrel Appreciation Day, so make sure you tell your significant tree rat that you care. A nice pecan log would be a thoughtful gift. |
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January 22nd continues the animal-lover theme, it’s Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day! Take time to listen to your cat, and to make sure that the cat isn’t confused about anything. If you don’t actually HAVE a cat, just “borrow” somebody else’s. I find that the best way to cause your cat to have questions is to call it Fido, or possibly Doggy. Then it will wonder what species it |
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actually is. My personal favorite holiday of this month occurs January 26th (Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day). Bubble Wrap is a great stress reliever and causes extreme annoyance in everyone around you. Make sure you pop no less than three metric tons on the 26th. Unfortunately, we have no semi-related news, mostly because not much has happened in the weird news front. Don’t worry…unless you have enough bubble-wrap to get you through the turmoil. |
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In Official Flaming Chickens News,
this month brought about the Mystical Creature Quiz, (https://www.angelfire.com/falcon/flamingchickens/mysticalquiz.html
) the Evil Overlord Prophecy Memegen (https://www.angelfire.com/falcon/flamingchickens/overlordquiz.html)
and other cool stuff. The first
wave of the Official Flaming-Chicken Lunar Colony supplies have arrived and the
Patron Saint of Paperclips (That’s me) is attempting to design the buildings
for our Colony. Any
ideas/improvements pictures of supplies, etc. can be sent to psopc@flaming-chickens.com.
ßThe
Official Flaming-Chicken Casino shrunk many, many times.
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH:
·
Therapy
is expensive, popping Bubble Wrap is cheap.
You’ll see.
·
5,840
people with pillow related injuries checked into U.S. emergency rooms in 1992.
·
If you
lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..
·
When
life throws a lemon, throw a watermelon back.
·
Stay
fit, eat right, die anyway.
·
Oh to
be young, not knowing the joys of setting stuff on fire.
·
Some
mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
·
I
intend to live forever - so far, so good.
COMING EVENTUALLY: TO A FLAMING-CHICKENS WEBSITE NEAR YOU!
· How obsessed with this site are you Quiz?
· Many, Many, Many more Longest Text Ever Entries.
· I’ll work on the OFCLC site…I promise…
· And much, much more.
REMEMBER, THE NEXT ZINE COMES OUT February 17th
Hey, did you know that you can access the OFCEM archives? You didn’t? Just click on the first green hit-counter on the main page (http://www.flaming-chickens.com)
Or you can just go to https://www.angelfire.com/scary/weaselminions It’s worth it…I think…maybe…it’s not like you’re paying anything. So it MUST be worth it, because…uh…I don’t know. Just go there!
