OFCEM

Edition: 7 April 1^st, 2004

Okay, boys and girls! Today’s topic is: feelings!  You know, the way you feel when someone makes you feel sad!  Have you ever felt sad?  I feel sad whenever I see a rainbow, a kitten, a butterfly, a rose, a dewdrop, a violet, a lollypop, a grape, and a skid mark on the road right before you see the horrible accident that forever changed your life…mommy? Where’s mommy?  Wake up, Mommy!

But enough about me!  Let’s talk more about FEELINGS! Okay? Gentle Reader, sometimes we feel mad. We try not to, because we want to be good little children, right?  But sometimes we just can’t help it!  People sometimes feel mad whenever the class bully steals their cookie, or when their older brother pushes them in the mud and calls them names.  Some people even get mad when their cute fuzzy little ball of fluff hamster makes that stupid little squeaking noise and you just feel that you have to squeeze that little ball of poo until its little cutie-wootie eyes start bulging and then the little children start staring at you and then you get yelled at for not respecting the class pet’s right to breathe.  Don’t worry, Gentle Reader…it happens to everyone. 

Aren’t you sad and mad just thinking about all of this, Gentle Reader?  Let’s switch to a happier note and talk about what makes us happy!   Many people get happy when they play with small furry, non-squeaking animals, dolls, action figures, chain saws, building blocks, flowers, home-made blow-torches, and good, wholesome art supplies.  When we are happy, we feel good, and warm and fuzzy inside.  It’s a nice feeling, isn’t it, Gentle Reader?

Well…goodbye for now! And don’t forget to always talk about your feelings when you feel mad or sad…that way the despair and impotent rage won’t build up inside of you like a boiler in the danger zone, about to burst until one day you just lose it and you find this ax…well…anyway, Gentle Reader…I’m much better now that I’m on that medication.  Whoops! I must have accidentally slipped it ALL into you children’s mid-morning snacks! Silly me, hee-hee J