Dear Chakotay,
Today I almost told you how I felt about you. I opened my mouth as if to speak, in front of the whole bridge crew, then closed it just as fast. No one noticed I guess they don’t watch us as closely as they use to. I don’t blame them time has taken it’s toll on our relationship, if you could call what we have that, and we don’t talk as much as I don’t touch you anymore. I use to imagine your response to my admission would be you smiling, say I love you too and then taking my in your arms and kissing my passionately in front of who ever happened to be there. But now as I play the scene out in my head you have a blank expression on your face and you ask why now, say again, you’re kidding right, etc. I know that we have been through a lot and I don’t know what I would have done with out you. I also know that I hurt you by not responding differently to you if you just could have read my mind then you would know how much I truly love and care for you. I’ve never stopped you know? I still love you more then anything else in the universe and I’m stilling willing to die for you, in more ways then one. It’s funny how I thought that I would just forget about how I feel, but I now realize that I’ll never forget it. I can’t and I honestly don’t want to anymore. But you’ll never know because I’m not willing to take the chance that you don’t feel the same. When I said that I almost told you above it was the truth but I’ve been almost telling you since the first time I met you. And who’s to say what went wrong, perhaps some thing went unsaid or undone maybe some one else was there instead, but I truly believe that we are meant to be and perhaps in another lifetime in another reality we are happy, together.
Love always and forever,
Kathryn Janeway
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Dear Kathryn,
Today I almost told you that I love you. I started to open my mouth but as I realize who we are and where we are I stop and sigh inwardly. I have often tried to tell you, ever since the first day I saw you appear on my screen I fell for you instantly. I truly believe that some people are meant to be and we are two of those people. You are my sunshine. You are the most beautiful woman in the universe and I thank the heavens above that I get to hear your voice and see your face everyday, you’re the only reason I still bother getting up in the morning. You’re all that I could ever possibly want and more then I could ever hope to be allowed to have. If I could only tell you this. I use to think that you could maybe return these feelings for me but I know now that I was only fooling my self for you could never love a convict. You don’t touch me as much as you use to, an instance where your true feelings show. You know I use to actually think that I could just forget you and move on, lord knows I’ve tried. But I can’t and it only hurts me to think of the other women. I can’t believe I ever thought I could love them half as much as I do you. If I could go back I would erase them from my past because I can’t help but think that they are the reasons we aren’t together today. I wish I could just tell you that I love you but I know that’s not what you want to hear. Not from me. I will wait forever just for a chance to be with you, I hope that you know that. Maybe some day we will be together. Who’s to say what went wrong between us, maybe nothing ever did. As I said above, I almost told you that I loved you, but I’ve been almost telling you since the first moment I saw you.
Yours truly,
Chakotay
