Captian Kathryn Janeway looked down at a padd she held in her right hand, an engineering report, from all that she could tell everything was going to be fine. Of course she hadn't exactly been focusing on the material at hand. She shook her head slightly then took a drink out of the coffee mug she was holding in her left hand, her face sqrunched as she tasted the cold liquid. The words of Admiral Janeway echoed in her mind, she couldn't beleive she would become that cinical in her old age but then again, time had changed her emencly since her arrival in the Delta Quadrant. She blinked hard trying to keep the words of her older self out of her head, Chakotay and Seven were together... that damn word, she hated that word. Chakotay and Seven for gods sake!!! They didn't even like eachother, but they fell in love. Kathryn grimaced, they fall in love, she corrected herself. She sighed and set the mug down on her desk rubbing her face with her free hand she tried to focus on the padd yet again, but not surprisingly she couldn't concentrate. Frustrated she leaned back, lifted her arm, and threw the padd as hard as she could in the general direction of the door.
“Ow!” Chakotay exclaimed, backing up slightly, as the Padd hit him square in the chest, he rubbed the spot where the padd had hit. “Damn Kathryn if you didn’t want to talk to me you could have just said so!” his face showed pain as he walked toward her desk.
She looked at him, face cold, eyes filled with hurt, and said softly, “Don’t.”
He paused for a second then asked, “Don’t what?”
She closed her eyes for a moment then opened them, tears falling silently down her cheeks. She brought her eyes up to meet his, “Don’t look at me like that or talk to me like that.”
He seemed confused, stepping closer his face and eyes filled with concern he asked, “Like what Kathryn?”
“Like that damn it! Like you love me, like you care,” she told him, her voice soft and hurt.
“Kathryn?” he asked, still bewildered.
“I know Chakotay… I KNOW,” the way she said it made him realize just what she knew. She knew about him and Seven.
“Listen Kathryn… I was going to tell you. I was really!” he tried to explain quickly.
She stood up and straightened her uniform and wiped the tears from her cheeks, she shook her head as she walked around her desk and past him, “No… you weren’t Chakotay..." she paused looking at the floor and then back at him, letting go had become something she was accustomed to, "Goodbye Chakotay.”
The way she said it made him reach out and grab her arm, “Kathryn don’t… don’t let us end this way. We deserve more then that. I… god Kathryn. I love you.” His voice was desperate and his eyes pleaded with hers.
She looked down at his hand on her arm, then back up saddness in her voice, “Yes Chakotay, you love me… as I do you, but we both know you’re not in love with me anymore." She looked up at the ceiling, "You're happy Chakotay, finally happy!”
He looked at her, “And if I said I wasn’t?”
She snorted, “Then you would be lying. I wish you the best Chakotay, I wish to you love, happiness and luck.” With that she walked out of the ready room and away from him for the last time. There would be no more sleepless nights wondering about what tomorrow would bring, what new species Voyager would encounter and there would be no more wondering if she hid her feelings for Chakotay well enough. No more long nights alone and no more flings with aliens she encountered. She was finally free… free to move on and free to live. She had kept her promise and gotten her crew home, it was the end, it was finally... over.
Other Stories
Home
Quotes
Episode Guide
