Inside Joke Quotes 2000-01
"My day was fine--until I woke up."
~Megan
"I'm officially a Republicrat."
~Leah
"This is the next late-night TV show: 'Proportionally Correct with Jenni Kissinger.' "
~Leah
"My son used his first F-bomb ... I need a moment. I'm so proud."
~Mr. Snelling
"S***? What's s***? Well, Mommy said s*** why can't I say s***?"
~Brian Snelling
"Does it mean f***?"
~Brian Snelling, on the middle finger
"Sometimes these people scare me."
~Sean to self
"I have succeeded in making Megan crazy!"
~Jenni
"Dr. Mayes is here."
"Of course, he lives here."
~Jenni and Sean, at lunch
"There's a ladybug crawling across my screen."
~Daphne
"Hey kid."
"Say you're sorry."
"For what?"
"Calling me kid."
"You are."
"Are you kidding? You act like more of a kid than I do."
"Did you just say that?"
~Jenni and Heather
"I am officially a Borsh supporter!!"
~Leah
"I GOT TO BUC!!!"
~Leah and Jenna F.
"We're not here to have fun. Stop."
::burst out laughing::
~Jenna to Meredith, Leah, and Jenni
"Are you ambitious?"
"Yes."
"You're yippy!"
~Sarah and Jenni
"I hope you die in your sleep."
"You hope you die in my sleep?"
~Mike and Alexis
"That was manical: Kryptoooo ..."
~Alexis to Mike
"Is she Kryptoing?"
~Mrs. Blackson
"My brain hurts!"
~Jenni
"I'm a spoiler virgin, but a smut whore! And for some reason I like the sound of that..."
~Brie
"I think I may lose my spoiler virginity come December."
"No! Save it for marriage, Em."
~Emily and Maeve
"I am so stupid." ::going back into room::
"You are not stupid, I forgot the movie and I'm not stupid."
"But you only forgot the movie once. I forget my purse every day!"
"That's true, you do."
~Jenni and Ms. Barrett
"He got short!"
~Megan, on Officer Terry
"Yo, Jenni, who won the Revolutionary War?"
~WAY too many people ... being serious ...
"You're not pregnant? And we tried so hard!"
~Terrance to Megan
"See? You learn new things every day."
"Yeah, like this morning I learned that two plus two is NOT tree ..."
::stares at her:: "Yeah Sarah ..."
~Emily and Sarah
::cracky Southern accent:: "Yeah, this is for Jeri's whorehouse. I'm looking for an agent, tall, dark hair, and had to have a big gun if you know what I mean ..."
~Maeve
"Aliens invaded my fingers!"
~Mr. Snelling
"Flea Funerals Performed Daily"
~Snip-n-Dip Salon
"I don't have a boyfriend anymore, I'm so happy."
::Stares at her::
"Well Sean, wouldn't you be happy if you didn't have a boyfriend anymore?"
~Megan, Sean, Jenni
"Go to AOL.com cause I want to check my mail."
"You can't, it's blocked."
"No it's not." ::turns to Sean:: "We were looking at porn on here, remember?"
~Matt and Jenni
"You broke the website, Tyler!"
~Jenni
"The ketchup is a way of life!"
~Harrison
"Daddy, we need the Sunday paper!"
"Well, that's going to be hard to do since it's Saturday."
~Heather and Dad
"I feel such malice towards this book."
~Meredith on math book
"Raindrops on kittens and bright satin sashes ..."
"Sleigh bells that stay on my nose and eyelashes!"
"Blue satin dresses all tied up with string."
"No, no: girls in white dresses that melt into spring ..."
~Dad, Jenni, Heather, Dad
"It's like we're on a six-way date and we can't decide who should pay ..."
~Emily at Arners
"It's a quote-napkin!"
~Jenni
"See, me, Emily, and Megan knew, but Ali, Sean, and Sarah didn't know, and the guys that we knew it about didn't know that we knew about them. So then Sean said he knew, and I asked how he knew, but it turned out that he was saying he didn't know about something completely different from what we knew, and the thing he didn't know only I knew about Megan anyway. And that's basically how the conversation went."
"I think I'm going to bed now."
~Jenni, explaining to convo at Arners, and Mom
::Dad gets Miami mugs for his birthday::
"Does that mean if you have mugs and a shot glass, taht you have a mugshot?"
~Mom
"Sing with me!"
"We're all eating."
"You're not eating!"
"I am mentally."
~Jenni and Dad
"I have extensive vegetation."
~Marquee
"What's an aphrodisiac?"
"Some guy with an afro."
~Ms. Roth and Marquee
"It's something that makes you ... aroused."
"Yes, it makes you ... horny."
~Kathryn and Mrs. Sugarman
"So ... how do they make little baby cyclopses?"
~Ryan
"I don't speak a word of English, so bear with me."
~Christian
"If you're thinking about taking a shower tonight, don't. I had the water all the way to hot and the water was as cold as hell."
~Heather
"I don't feel good ..."
"You're the one that told me to go into the margin."
"That's because I thought the margin would be nice and ... user-friendly!"
~Jenni and Mom
"Kathryn's reputation will precede her forever."
"Yeah, I'm not allowed in appliance stores anymore ..."
~Ms. Roth and Kathryn
"Yeah, my boyfriend is a little TOO gay, God Ashton, butch up!"
"Shut up and gimme my lip gloss."
~Nicky and Ashton
"What are you doing, Coco?"
"Aww ... he's cuddling with the floor!"
~Jenni and Heather
"It's a blood butterfly."
~Emily
"This person sent an egg through the mail as a letter. It was ... oh, I don't know ..."
"A yolk."
~Mrs. Sauer and Jenni
"The perfectness of your handwriting sickens me."
"Me too ... Did you genetically alter your hand?"
~Jenna Z. and Jenni to Leah
"You know what I like to do with my balls?"
~Molly, on mashed potatoes
"Daphne refuses to admit she's insane."
"Most people who are do."
"But I admit it!"
"Then you must be sane."
~Jenni and Mom
"It's child labor, that's what it is!"
"Do you know what child labor is? Where you have a kid."
~Jenni and Heather
"He's gonna pick the lock with chalk ..."
~Mike, on Harrison
"I just need five minutes of your time."
::half an hour later:: "I just need five minutes of your time."
::fifty minutes later:: "I just need five minutes of your time!"
~Mr. Ruff
"How can you be dating me when your wife is in the hospital with three broken legs?"
~Dad, paraphrasing some lady
"We should have a grade for perversion for you three."
~Ms. Roth to Kathryn, Emily, and Corinne
"Who's your poet?"
"That Frost guy ... Jack or something ..."
::long pause:: "ROBERT Frost?!"
"Yeah, him, or maybe Jack, his cousin. He does a lot of poetry on windows..."
~Ms. Roth, Jeremy, Emily, Ms. Roth
"I wish I was a bum."
~Leah
"Woah."
"Woah?"
~Mrs. Blackson and Leah
"How interesting!?"
~Megan
"No Jenni, you go to the boys locker room to change, but just you!"
~Megan to Jenni
"Oh! The desk grabbed me!"
~Toni
::Mrs. Miller lectures the class on their Decades project:: "... and if you don't bring the books back then you get your privilages suspended and you don't check anything more out for decades."
~Mrs. Miller
"Say 'Come.' "
"Come."
::Molly moves the toothpick across the palm of her hand:: "Say 'Stay.' "
"Stay."
::Molly does nothing:: "No, say 'Bye-bye!" "
"Bye-bye."
::Molly closes her hand, blows on it, and opens her hand:: "It's still there!"
~Molly and Dad
"Why is that woman squeezing her breast?"
"Why is that smaller animal humping that larger animal?"
"Some people call it 'art.' "
~Ali, Megan, Jenni
"I wish for world peace!" ::pause:: "Why are you guys still here?"
~Megan
"These straws don't have paper on them!"
~Brad
"I had a dream about my wedding, and you and you were there."
"Was I there?"
"No."
"But, I could have been the flower girl!"
~Ali and Brad
"No girls like me to I just went straight-gay!"
~Jeremy Warmkessle
"I like spam."
"I like maps."
~Brad and Megan
"It's some knid of popular brand that numbs your teeth. They use it on babies."
"Nesoporin?"
~Jenni and Megan
"So now you've written the title and author on a piece of paper. What will we do with them?"
"Burn them."
~Ms. Barett and Chris
"Well, it's not like I read the paragraphs ..."
~Megan
"AH! I turned around and you were Timmy!"
~Emily to Jenni
"You know we're crazy, right?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, you mention coconuts, and-"
Both: "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedly dee dee, there they are a-standing in a row, bum, bum, bum, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head ..."
~Ali and Jenni
"And when I went to throw the stick into the ground, it stuck into my toe!"
"Oh, wow, how old were you?"
"... It was yesterday ..."
~Ali and Jenni
"Every guy I like gets popped by a rock!" ::sniffle::
~Jenni to Meg and Em
"If I were a guy and if I had long hair ..."
~Scott
"I firmly believe ....... that mankind ....... will never ......... set foot ..... on .... the planet ....... Earth."
~Mr. Ferguson
"Sons of Liberty Unite!"
~Jock, Zock, Gary
"I think we're disturbing the peace."
"What peace?"
~Jenni and Emily
"Nothing says friendship like a bag of shaved weasels."
~Sarah
"No thanks, I've already got a penquin."
~Sarah
"My pudding is hot chocolate!"
~Molly
"I had some Dayquil at like midnight, and I woke up in the middle of the night and I was all hyper like LAAAAAA ... it was crazy."
~Taylor
"Seriously guys, be serious!"
~Megan
"If I had a dollar for every cell in my body I'd be rich!"
~Harrison
"If I had a cell for every $20 I owned I'd be unicellular!"
~Daphne
"My brother is going to grow up to spend all of his life in therapy. He'll be like, 'I was raised in a house full of girls that made me listen to Tori Amos and watch soap operas every day!' ... Either that or he'll end up gay ... or both ..."
~Emily to Alaina and Daphne
"Instructions to 'washing hair:' Lather, rinses, repeat. Use 'conditioner.'"
~Ali
"The wheel's a-turning but the hampster's dead."
~Sarah
"My hair isn't green. It's everything else that's green, and my hair is normal."
~Christina
"Good times!"
"Medieval Times!"
~Everyone
"Isn't my puppy cute, see the picture, by the way, the one wtih the brown fur is the puppy, the other one is the kitten, cause ya know, they're so hard to tell apart and all (An English teacher would have a field day with that sentence)."
~Nicole, in a letter
"PSYCHO!"
~Everyone
100
"Boy, do I love cheese!"
~Abraham Lincoln
"Why is Jenni sitting all the way across the room?"
"Cause she's a soprano and has sat there the past month?"
"Ohhhhhh!"
~Sarah to Daphne during choir
"EAT IT!!!"
~Emily and Daphne
"What's a lesbian?"
"A girl who likes other girls."
::gasp:: "So, we're all lesbians!"
~Molly and Jenni
"Sshh!"
~Ali to pen, after dropping it
"That's your real tongue? Oh my God, you're my new best friend!"
~Jacen to Alexis
"Darn those washing machines! They destroy all my fun!"
~Jenni
"So, wait, I have a magic boyfriend?!"
~Jenni to Scott
"Anybody have some green or a brain lying around?"
~Jenni in German
"Well Alexis, you could put your head in my lap, but I don't know if I could bear the thougth of that tongue being right there."
~Jacen to Alexis
"... she was apparently sane once, back when the simming began."
"There's something wrong with that whole statement ..."
~Jenni and Emily, on Nicole's statement about herself
"Look, a deer!"
"Where?!"
~Rachel and Emily to people
"Once Molly turns seven, she'll be born."
~Jenni
"You can chew while you're itchin'."
~Mom
"Can I bring my--" ::pause::
"What?"
"Nothing, I think the phone rang."
~Jenni and Heather, when the phone DIDN'T RING
"The inspiration should come from inside ... not outside."
"That was corny."
"This corny moment brought to you by Bill Snelling."
~Mr. Snelling and Becky
"Holy crap!"
"Did you just run into that bush?!"
"... I told you I couldn't see in this costume!"
~Monet and Megan
Back to Main Quotes
Back Home
