TV Quotes
"Undress the cone and put it in the ambulance."
~Hank to Jamey(Tobias!), In a Heartbeat
"And then I remembered he ws a bad monkey, and I kicked in his face."
~Buttercup, Powerpuff Girls
"WWBD: What Would Buttercup Do?"
~Dad
"Life got fair? Why wasn't I told?"
~Cassandra, Hercules
"I haven't had this much fun in minutes!"
~Captain Binome, Reboot
"What's wrong with Enzo? Is he fully functional?"
~Bob, Reboot
"This might even take one whole second!"
~Enzo, Reboot
"Do you wish to be twice as smart as everyone now or later?"
~Computer voice (male)
"Aw, crash it all."
~Enzo
"Enzo!" ::tackles him::
~Bob
"Warning: Incoming game."
~Computer voice (female)
"Hey, how do you stop this thing?" ::crashes:: "Oh, that's how!"
~Bob
"It doesn't seem to have affected Mike the TV. Guess he couldn't get any dumber."
~Enzo
"What are points?"
~Bob
"We are helping. We are helping."
~People
"What would Bob do? I mean the smart Bob ..."
~Enzo
"Because ... you itch."
~Mike the TV
"What's our problem?"
"I have no idea ..."
~Bob and Dot
"He hasn't knocked me over in at least a millisecond!"
~Bob
"I've always wanted to do that."
~MegaByte, after invading Enzo's birthday party, having a guitar-fight with Bob, and NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG!!!
"I may be a has-been ... but I'm no Einstein!"
~Random guy on Aladdin
"Just because it's all my fault, doesn't mean it's all my fault!"
~Iago, Aladdin
"This guy cries a lot ..."
~Jenni and Dad simultaneously, on Mike Myers
"That's how to start a conversation: 'What TV show did you eat?' "
~Jenni
"We have a crisis! Shawn has been thrown up on!"
~Jenni, on In a Heartbeat
"You don't smell!"
~Hank and Jamey, In a Heartbeat
"Say what, Putt-Putt man?"
"I told you not to call me that."
~Tyler and Jamey, In a Heartbeat
"Just because my mom married him doesn't mean I have to mind-meld with the guy."
~Tyler
"It wasn't the studying! It was the butt!"
~Jenni, on In a Heartbeat
"I think your son ate my poodle!"
~Random Lady #1, In a Heartbeat
"If you even die, I will kill you."
~Random Lady #2
"Don't bleed on my flagstones ... oh, the agony."
~Random Lady #2
"Jamey, get your dress on!"
~Hank to Jamey (a guy)
"How will we know who to rescue?"
"She's an alien. If you see a girl you don't know, rescue her!"
~Storm and Wolverine
"Wait, how come you guys don't have one of those pole things you slide down?"
"Mostly because we're on the ground floor."
~G and Jamey, In a Heartbeat
"By the Code, is there no end to this Web madness!"
~Captain Binome, Reboot
"However far apart we may be, my love will carry me closer to thee."
~Tuxedo Mask to Sailor Moon
"You blistering idiot!"
~Professor, Sliders
"That farmhouse ... there ..."
~Cory and Amish Guy, Boy Meets World
"That would make sense, ya know, cause ducks have heads."
~Friends
"Cross my heart, slap me dead, stick a lobster on my head!"
~John Crichton, Farscape
"Aw, crap!"
~Darien Fawkes, Invisible Man
"Hey, I have great eyes! They're better than 20/20 and they're BLUE!"
~John Crichton, Farscape
"My friend, there's one thing you must learn: There is ALWAYS time for beer!"
~D'Argo, Farscape
"Crichton, you do anything else to my body, I'll break your legs ... even if they are mine."
~Aeryn, in Rygel, Farscape
"Oh, sure, it's alright. You were in my shoes ... I was in your pants ..."
~Aeryn, Farscape
"Obviously this is a female, you can see the big shaft ..."
~Jeff Corwin, in Chem class
"He's eating me! I am not a plant!"
~Jeff Corwin
"You can't go to prison for being stupid and ignorant."
~News
"Good idea. Thanks."
"Here to help. Wanna live."
~Buffy and Anya
"No, it's an omen, it's a higher power trying to tell me through bunnies that we're all going to die!"
~Anya
"Did everybody else know the Slayer's a robot?"
~Glory
"Isn't this the king of clubs?"
"No, that's a clover."
~Dudes on TV
"Well, you wouldn't expect a Sister to call her brother Father!"
~Father Frances, M*A*S*H
"Don't think of me as a woman!"
"Don't stand in profile."
~Margaret and Hawkeye, M*A*S*H
"You do trust Father Mulcahy, don't you?"
"Well it says I should on all my money, if you can't trust your money, who can you trust?"
~Dude and Hawkeye, M*A*S*H
"--why do you look like you've swallowed a small hedgehog?"
~Alexis, General Hospital
"Sir, how long do you plan to float there?"
"Eternity."
~Puffy Dog Lady and God, Hebrew National commercial (best hot dogs EVER)
"Good heavens, she's practically throwing herself at you!"
"Should I catch her?"
~Jane and Tarzan, Tarzan TV show
::priest opens door to see Tommy:: "Hi. I'm selling chocolate bars. For the band. So they can go to Washington." ::pause:: "To learn about Christianity." ::pause:: "And become priests." ::priest shuts door in Tommy's face:: "Fine! They'll stay in Cleveland and worship Satan!"
~Tommy Solomon, Third Rock from the Sun
::calls up operator:: "Hello, operator? My name is Harry Solomon! I'm at 415 Magnolia Drive, and there are three aliens in my house! They have a mission, and I need to speak to the President of the United States! ... Yes, I know I need help, that's why I'm calling, I-hello? Hello!"
~Harry, Third Rock from the Sun
"Let's eat, Harry." ::all but Harry and Sally go inside::
"Did you just say, 'Let's eat Harry' ?"
"Yes, let's eat, Harry." ::Sally goes inside::
"Oh my gosh ... they want to eat me!"
::Dick comes to window:: "We're waiting!" ::Dick leaves::
"Oh no!"
::Tommy comes to window:: "Hurry up, I'm starving!" ::Tommy leaves::
"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"
~Sally, Harry, Dick, Tommy from Third Rock
"Next time you pull the fire alarm, you darn well make sure you start a fire first!"
"I can never do anything right for you, can I?!"
~Dick and Tommy, Third Rock
"Hey, Terri? Um ... run."
~Steven Irwin, Crocodile Hunter
"Father Bob was called away, I'm afraid."
"Oh my goodness. By our Lord in Heaven?"
"No, by relatives in Scranton."
~Luke, Mother Superior, GH
"How did you get in?"
"The door."
~Jason and Alexis, GH
"Well, I guess the room is empty. What a perfect time to set fire to my desk."
~George Feeny, Boy Meets World
"Whateva! I do wha' ah woant!"
~Cartman
"I don't mean to alarm you, but your pants are talking to you."
~Katherine, B5
"Ambassador, it is not my job to explain how anything gets into your bed."
~Na'Toth, B5
"And so, here we are, victims of mathematics."
~Lando, B5
"What's that Earth animal, it's feathered, long bill, goes quack."
"Cats!"
~Lando and Vir, B5
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