The Door Opened
The Door Opened
By C.
Disclaimer:Paramount owns all the characters and I, I am merely putting words in their mouths.
Rating:R No sex but a very heavy subject matter that made me wonder why it couldn't happen on Voyager
Summary: Janeway's dropping protocol with Chakotay for a chance at a relationship but first, she has something to show him about what went on in the void, takes place after The season premier.
~~~
"Chakotay"
Deep breath, "Chakotay, I have something to say and I know I'm going to fumble it a bit so please wait until I finish my bit before reacting to anything I said. Please? Thank you. Chakotay, I love you. I'm certain of it, wait! Please? And I know that your feelings might have changed, perhaps now you don't want to have a relationship with me but I thought I should tell you. And, if you don't I'm sorry to burden you with this." She took a calming breath "In the void, I, I did a lot of thinking about life and about death, and us, and the crew and what all of us have been through, what we've had to face. I know it wasn't, what, I, There was this weight, pressing down right here" She pressed her hand against her chest, on her heart. "And that weight all but disappeared when you came to give me the reports as well as when you came to check up on me. Yes I knew, when did you ever inform me that B'elanna caused another ensign to transfer? But before this talk goes any further, I think that there are some things I should tell you. I've loved you for so long, you must have known, I wasn't sure that I could tell you, I'm not even sure I can, well could now. New Earth, New Earth was wonderful, and once we got back I was angry, not at being back but at me, that I never told you. The Borg as well, I must have been so, so horrid" She slowly pulled up the sleeves of her civies outfit, reveling the scars on her arms, large red angry gashes running from her wrist to her inner elbow. "This...while some of us were perfecting out concertos or our Bath'leth skills, some of us were busy with other things. I'm not sorry that I did, it was a part of me that needed to come out and it did. I tried other ways of expressing it and I couldn't come up with it, and I did it so often that well, the regenerator just lost it's effect, it won't heal it, I'm left with these. And that didn't stop me, I just continued to do it and do it and do it again. I'm sorry to burden you with this, but,"
She was cut short by the door bell ring "Captain? It's me! Are you ready?" She berated herself about her coldness as she drew her sleeves down ad took a calming breath. "Captain? Are you ready?"
"Open." The door opened to revel Chakotay. "Chakotay, I need to talk with you for a moment, can you sit down?"
"Yes, sure, what is it Captain?"
"I'd much rather Kathryn right now." His hands found hers and held them as he looked up from his lashes into her blue eyes already tearing. "Chakotay, I have something to say to you..."
-Fini
