Like Water <A series of drabbles>
Like Water
By C.
Disclaimer:Paramount owns all these characters, they don’t use them, but they own them.
***
“ ‘Trust me, this will take time but there is an order here, very faint, very human.’ Meander if you want.”
-Michael Ondaatje
Come touch and feel and taste and smell the scent that only you could sell.
-Moist
***
To Leave You There By Yourself Chained To Fate
<1>
Your eyes are on me. I look up, you turn away.
That was painful, it hurt and so I run away. Captains don’t run, I don’t run. I dismiss myself instead, then step off my platform. (My pedestal as it’s been called). I allow the doors to the ready room to close before I lean back against them. Taking a deep breath, I realize I’m shaking.
Why, after 8 years of sitting besides you do I suddenly start to react like this?
I know the answer.
You almost touched my hand.
I didn’t want that, our bodies touching, that possibility.
***
<2>
There are times where I can see us together.
Limbs tangled, sheets tangled, fingers tangled, grasping.
I see the lines of your face, you’re awake.
I see my fingers run over your eyes, your bitten lips.
You smile. I love -.
Your hair’s matted, you look like a little boy. I wish I could have seen you then.
I see you in the morning, showering.
I see you in the mirror. I’m brushing my teeth, you come up behind me, wet from the shower. I spit out the toothpaste. I stand and you wrap your arms around me.
I see you.
***
<3>
I hear you, not through the walls (Although I have)
I hear you as you lie besides me, on top of me, with me.
You’re a light sleeper and you make this noise, little and matching your heart. My heart.
I hear the words you would call out while we make love. The words you would whisper.
I hear your heart, your thoughts, your step as you come to me in the dark.
I like them.
I hear you asking me what I want for dinner, what I did with your pants, if I Love you.
You say you do.
***
<4>
I like to think I know your taste.
Your lips would taste like coffee, like sugar, like wine, like me.
Your neck of shampoo and your shoulders of you.
Your wrists like my perfume and your arms like sleep.
Your chest tastes like blankets and your back rich with the essence of blood.
Your fingers of sugar and sage. A scent that is wholly you.
I know the taste of your mouth.
I like to think I know your taste.
What does your soul taste like? Your heart taste like I wonder.
Should I ask If I have a taste?
***
<5>
I want to go to sleep one night out of the 16589 nights I’ve been alive and have my sheets, my pillows, smell like you.
I know a few of your scents. A few that are appropriate. Not the scent of you after work or when you just get out of the shower. Not the scent of your clothes.
I know the scent of your uniform. Of you after your morning coffee, of you crawling through jefferies tubes
I want know the room after we make love. I know it does not leave, merely clinging to us, not letting go.
***
<6>
I want to know what you feel like.
I want to feel what you would feel like under me, on top of me, but most of all with me.
I want to feel you from the other side of the room, the ship.
No, not like I want to feel you now. I want to look at you and KNOW what you will feel like in a few minutes, a few hours.
I want to feel your hand in mine in the middle of the night.
I want your hand on my back.
Most of all, I want to feel.
***
<7>
I stay here until I know you are gone.
I will know, I do know but I still stay.
I stay in my room doing everything possible but think of you.
It doesn’t work. You’ve warned me of that, but you know me, I just need to find things out the hard way.
Or do you?
Know me, that is.
And I lie here and consider this thought.
And the answer I want is no where to be found.
~
I wake up the next morning in my ready room covered in a blanket.
I need not wonder who came in.
I Believe That This Is Heaven To No One Else But Me And I’ll Defend It As Long As I Can Be Left Here To Linger In Silence If I Choose Too Would Your Try To Understand
-Sarah McLaughlin
