Q Menace: The Phantom Parody

By: Molly Wells

Molly sat in her cramped apartment, burning the midnight oil on yet ANOTHER

art project for her one of her classes. Putting down the pen she held, Molly

let out a loud sigh of fustration. She'd been working for 3 hours straight and

desperately needed a break.

*I know* she thought *I'll call Kathryn!* Molly glanced at the clock near

her arm on the desk and quickly killed that idea. It was 1:45 in the morning.

*Oh well, maybe I'll just take a stroll through the park instead. That always

relaxes me.*

Molly stretched as she got up, grabbed her jacket and was soon out the

door. As she entered Quincey Park, the sometimes fanfic author felt a shiver of

unease pass through her. She felt as if she was being...watched? *Ahh, it's

probably nothing. Just my WAY too overactive imagination at work, that's all.

I watch too many horror movies. I really shouldn't be out here alone, I

suppose.*

She didn't know it yet, but Molly right. Behind some bushes, a pair of

beedy yellow eyes followed her as she walked down the path, and rustling could

be heard (if one were listening for just such a thing) as the stalker moved to

get closer to Molly.

Her mind was wandering, thinking about anything and everything that had

nothing whatsoever to do with art. At the moment, she was entertaining a

fantasy where Obi-Wan Kenobi (the devestatingly gorgeous Jedi in The Phantom

Menace who happens to look alot like the Scottish actor Ewan MacGregor) fell in

love with her and the 2 traveled to all sorts of exotic planets while her Obi

went around doing heroic Jedi-like deeds.

Molly sighed at the thought, which was making her weak in the knees. With

nobody in sight, Molly muttered, "Yeah, Obi-Wan is MY man, which is why

Kathryn's "Q Menace" story ticks me off so much!!! I mean really, she doesn't

even like Obi-Wan. She's too infatuated with (exaggerated girly voice inserted

here) Qui-Gon! And yet WHAT do I see in her story? Kathryn and Obi-Wan are..."

Molly makes a gagging noise, "in love. When one of them isn't saving the

other's butt, they're kissing, or dancing to some corny country songs!

COUNTRY!!!!!

Molly shudders at the thought of HER man getting all romantic with the

obviously self-inserted version of her best friend and swaying to the sounds of

the mucic she despised most in all the world.

"If only there was something I could do!" she said, not truely expectinga

solution to magically appear.

Out of the corner of her eye, Molly caught some movement in the bushes.

She whirled around to face them and called out, in the most brave voice she

could muster, "Who's there? I-I know Kung Fu, so don't think of trying anything

funny!"

The pair of yellow eyes, which she could see were connected to a fairly

large body, moved out in front of the bushes that had concealed it. Its hands

were held up in front to show that it carried no weapon. The creature spoke,

slowly and deliberately.

"You want to do something about your friend's story, do you?"

Molly just stared mutely at the creature, not knowing quite what to think

about this... this thing in front of her. She was certain, though, that it

meant her no harm.

Taking her silence as a sign to go on, it grinned and said in its rasping

voice, "I believe I can help you, if you'll let me."

Finally Molly found her voice. "Who ARE you? And why do you want to help

me?"

"My name is Parody." At this, it bowed humbly in greeting. "I help fanfic

authors such as yourself voice their fustrations, humor, and other emotions they

feel after reading stories like Kathryn's "Q Menace" by writing stories of their

own. These...Parodies, if you will, are loosely based upon the offending story,

but exaggerate and change events to suit the authors' needs.

Molly's mind was going in all sorts of different directions thinking of all

the possibilities. If what Parody told her was true...Kathryn was in for a big

surprise. She looked up at Parody's expectant face and slowly grinned.

THE END...for now.