My Poems

Placed in the cronological order of:
14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22


21-22:


Rewrite:

I took a journy to find myself, down a long road that No One has been down before.
Each step takes me closer to the truth and farther from what I am looking for.

No One knows where the road shall end, and I met him one day, standing beside this trail I travel now; he looked alot like me.
He told me, only he knows the truth, and when I asked him for the answers to this mystery, he just looked at me, bowed and shook his head,
"Those answers my friend, you find when you are dead".
He was gone the last time I looked, gone but not forgotten.

The man in the mirror turned his back on me today, as he said from this path I must stray, but I know that underfoot it shall always stay.

Next I met, whilst asleep in my bed, the woman to which I would be wed.
Her face looked the same as it always does; hidden, undefined and masked by the shadows shackled to my feet.
She told me our love it would be true. I told her, forever I have waited for you.

I awoke to find lonlyness sleeping next to me, and as the dream was slowly replaced by reality, I found another piece of the puzzle was stolen from me.
One by one the pieces fall away to reveal the world beneath this scattered jig saw.
The no where land, where I meet myself, and shake my hand.



Untitled:

Play a sorrow filled symphany
While I sing and scream
To pour out my misery
Just to empty out my soul
Fill it up with hollowness
I want nothing inside my mind

I wish it wouldn't hurt so much
I wish it all away
Forgive me for my troubled face
Forgive me while I cry
For I have the moon to chase
Until the day I die



I don't know whats happening to me:

Running away
The finish line is gaining on me
Words I never said
Tears still unshead

A sea of faces
A mass of silent voices
A path of endless choices

Staring at the sun
Faster I run
Wind through my bones
Head full of stones

No stopping now
The race has just begun
And my shadow is having to much fun



14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22


20-21

Never Titled:

The voices in my head
I banish to rot on this page instead
Deeply rooted in my soul
My concience they stole
Distracting and Misleading
My demons are grossly decieving





The Cheater:

I trusted you only because I closed my eyes
I loved you only because I ignored your lies
Green eyed and monsterous
Blindly I've cried
You promised me
You emptied me
I loved you and charised you
And you loved me only when your back wasn't turned



Not titled:

What was it I did?
All and nothing, everything and more
Loved, charished, cold and alone
Fire burning sweet again
Fire burning numb
The coldest fire
This my dreams desire




14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22

18-19:


I was traveling lost down some road, on some unparticular day
When I met sitting on some rocks some very peculiar person
He looked at me with some wicked glee when I asked him, “Who be thee?”
He smiled some awful smile and in some maddened tone he said
“I am the King of Here.”
Since I was most lost indeed I ventured a second question
“Simple enough.” I said with a gruff “Where be Here?”
“Why, Here is here,” the mad man said, “and I was here first.”
“What a beautiful land Here is.” I said, “but I’m afraid I am quite lost.”
“Nay!” said the man and continued with a song
“For when you travel To and Frau no matter where you are,
“Here is where you find yourself no nearer nor no far”
“Here is not where I wish to be.” I said to him “This is where I’m lost.”
He looked saddened to hear my saying so and in some melancholic tone said
“Then help you I can not.”
I asked the man quite irritatedly “Know thee one who can?”
The man pondered in thought and scratched his wrinkled pate
“Catch thee if thy can my friend of quite so dear,
“Though met him I have not nor seen him have I,
“I venture this guess and say, not to far be he if thee are not to late.”
When the man finished this compelling riddle wondered did I “Who be he”
“The King of Some Where Else” said the man and smiled some crooked smile
“How do I find this King?” asked I as the day drew close to an end
“Though I looked,” said the crazed man, “find him I can not,
“Where I go I’m always here and it seems to me that he will flee always to some where else”
And so I left the man sitting on some rocks on some god forsaken road
And on I left behind the land of Here to go to Some Where Else
As I fled the mystery of some bedraggled man he stopped and said to me
“Wait, hold friend of quite so dear, who be thee?”
And so I thought and I wondered hard as I scratched my furrowed brow
“The Duke of Some.” Was all I said and left the man to descend into another fate




14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22


17-18:


A Moment of Your Time

As it stands
Cold and alone
It thought about something it never could

You feared it for its love
You loved it for its pain

It was something you could never have
Something you could only dream

As it stood
Towering before you

You looked for something
Not knowing what

It tried to speak
But words were not yet in its power

It was time
Time for something

It turned to cry
Yet tears you did not give him

What is it you have done
Who is it you now Love

Why is it so hard to know
Something you may never be able to

All it wanted
If it could want

Was a chance
At something it may not ever see

You may never know
It may never tell

It was gone the next time you looked
Gone to where not even it knew

But only it could care
If you had given it a chance

So alone it was
So cold you felt

All it ever wanted
All it ever needed

Was a moment of your time



As It was

as It lost
what It never had

what it felt
eternal sad

love is not
love is all

tranquil to the nerves
ravaged and raped It's mind

maelstrom of emotions not felt
nothing so good

life it hurts
her pain It's own

not ment for her
undeserving It is

unknowing she smiles
cuts so deep

tears uncried burn down its heart
words unsaid

never felt this way
always the same

moon wilted
blurred upon blood

stars fell
lost in pain

visions pownded
clouded It's mind

feelings numbed
drowned out It's screams

why is it so
how

wait until
for-never past

so long it seems
so long It will wait

wait for it
if it comes

never now
forever then



As It Shall

glowing dark
growing still

last breath
a new life

piercing the eye
shuting the lips

lips that never saw
eyes that never kiss

never knew
it felt dread

the end drew close
the tears flowed sweet

insert the blade
cut down It's breath

the suffering seems alive
bring the joy it left

chill of life
thrill of death

the pain it loves
the one whome it follows

shrouding her
caressing her in its arms

holds her high
as It drowns

wallowing among
those here before

prepared for the worse
but it never works

gapping wounds
fresh upon It's cross

hanging here
It shall stay

this is where It belongs
cold

hung
and alone



14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22


16-17:


Catharsis

Cursed pills fester inside
Burning blood upon my wrist
Pure
Wish to be
Darkness pours onto the bed
Emptiness takes its place
Tears of joy filled pain
Lost within my head
Sorrow lays next to me
Caress her lifeless hair
Gaze into her eternal eyes
Kiss her paled lips
Shadows move as they wish
Lusting after one another
Pleasing themselves and those around
Beautiful dance of sex and death
Walls sing a wretched song
Tranquil to the ears
Opera of pain and love
Lusting away on hollowed shores
Ocean cuts the waiting sand
Tide pulls me down
Stars weep and mourn
Cleansing the ill-be-gotten rot
Wanting an end
Life is
Better lost
pure



Never Always More

Sitting down I walk to her
Close my eyes I look for her
Without my hands I can feel her
Kiss her with a passion deep from nowhere
Hurts me so good
I do not wish this will last for never
Such a long time
Yet I will wait
I will not wait for this never to happen
Embrace me with your emptiness
Comfort me with your hollowed form
Show me how to never be
I will not beg you to never love me
I’ve walked too long now so I’ll sit
Open my eyes I can not see
Use my hands to shield my face
I can not have what I can not see
Feels so bad
I wish this could last forever
Not long enough
Though I can not wait
I’ll wait for this to happen
Take away my loneliness
I can not hurt you I am to hollow
Show me how to live
I beg of you to love me
So I’ll sit
Close my eyes
Leave my body
Dream a cursed dream
And then I can have you



Scheduled Appointments

Take a number
Count to 3
Look around
Wish to be
Have a seat
Count to 10
Hold my hand
Let’s begin

Close your eyes
Look into mine
Embrace the warmth
Take it from me
Keep it to yourself
You were never here
You’ve never been
Pick up my soul
Swallow it whole
Make it work
Make it safe
You’re ready now
You’re life will start

Open your eyes
Count to 0
It’s faster than that
Yet feels so long
It’s over now
You’ll want to go again
Take a number


14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22


15-16:


Petals of Pain

Now naked in the rain I dance
Shown to the moon I wilt
Ride the wind until my death
I love you my last breath


Cry

Sleeping love
Drifting lust
Scared of the loss
Paranoid of the gain
Laying on the bed
Crying to myself
Reach my hand into the dark
Pull my ashes from the fire
Attempt to remember
Your shadow falls around me
Passion flows from you to me
Silent are the moans so they can not overhear
Time told me nothing
Laying back
I think
I cry



The Carrion Lament

Cries to the flesh that rot the weeping child
Broken bones that mend a feeble mind
Decay the thread who holds closed my eyes
Rusted are the screws which shroud silent my screams
Give forth the pain which sustains all life
Leprous wounds with out salvation
Buried deep among the waste
No escape
No one here
Festering alone
Swallowed whole the night
Kept it to myself never letting go
Ruined fast by the erosion of my soul
Corroded and weak I wait
A sorrowed child who weeps to the mold that rips through each breath…and each hope

No hope
No fate
Nothing



Regret

I regret
The words I said
I regret
The tears that I shed
I regret
The day that I lost sight of you


14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22

14-15:


The Loving Alone

Oh…how I have yearned for your sweet touch
Just to hold you in my arms
Just to kiss you into a sweet bliss
Lonely as I
I go on
Drifting closer and closer to the dark
The light disappears
The voices in my head
Telling me to forget
It will never be
Others tell me to hope
There still may be a chance
Two sides to every me
One ashamed of what I have done
One wanting more than just that
And wanting more of it
There is
Nothing I can do
Nothing I could do
Nothing to hope for
Nothing to gain
Nothing
I have done
Everything I can
Everything I could
Everything for you
Everything to hope for
Everything to gain
Everything

All I can do is hope



Deep Sleep

Sleep
Let me in
Sleep
Let the nightmare begin
Sleep
Bring forth your fear
Sleep
I know what makes you scream
And you will never have another sweet dream

Once I’m in
You’ll never leave

I am in command
My wish is your demand

Sleep
I like it here
Sleep
I think I’ll stay
Sleep
I’ll chase your loves away
Sleep
And you’ll never wake
Sleep
Join me in hell
For your death is drawing near

I’m coming
I’m here



What am I?

I look in to the mirror
And it fades away behind these tainted eyes
An angel weeps
The hatred cries
To nowhere I ran
And only no one cared
Those taken by one
Left me with none
The darkest light
The coldest warmth
Given to me by the hollowed hand

A wilting tree
The dimming star
The candle that burns to slow

A shadowy figure walking down the path of light

Blinded by the seeds that grow
Cursed by the flames that burn
A life that lives
The shadows that spawn

To those unanswered
The question is asked

What am I?


14-15/15-16/16-17/17-18/18-19/20-21/21-22

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