Part 4 of 5

Austin found Michelle in the nursery they were
preparing for the new baby, sitting in a rocking chair and sobbing softly. "'Chelle?" he whispered gently. "If I hurt your feelings in some way, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." He knelt down before her so they were at eye level.

"It. . .it's not so much the yelling," she managed to
gasp out softly between sobs.

"What, then, baby?"

"It's just that, that maybe you should have."

"Should have what?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Married somebody like her.  A smart person. A
scientist who could understand your work. Not a moron
like me."

"Michelle, you're not a moron!"

"It's not the fist time somebody's suggested we're an
odd match, Austin. Remember that science groupie who
used to hang around and wanted you to fire me and take her on as your assistant?"

"Michelle, I love you. You have the most fascinating
mind of anyone I've ever met. No one else could ever
do for me what you do, be to me what you are. I knew
it the first day we met. You solved the riddle,
remember sweetheart? You're the only one who ever
did."

"That was pure, dumb luck and you know it!"

"No, Michelle, I don't believe that. I believe it was
God, leading you to me. Because, God knows, I needed
you. I was in danger of suffocating or dying of
loneliness in my self-imposed exile. You helped me to
live, really live, for the very first time. You allow
me to be a human being, a flesh-and-blood man instead
of some sort of wizard."

"I complicate your life. I caused you to lose the
encryption code you'd worked so hard on."

"I gave it up. Willingly. To have you back. And I'd do it again, in a heartbeat. In a way, I owe that creep a debt of gratitude. He finally jolted me out of my lassitude. Made me realize how much I love you."

"Agent Scully. . ."

"Is probably in love with her partner, just like you
said."

"I thought you didn't believe that."

"Quite frankly, Michelle, I don't care. But even if
she throws herself at me - which seems unlikely- I'm
not interested in her. I love you. I'm sorry I said
she was the only one making sense. I think I was just
mad because you were agreeing with Agent Mulder
instead of me."

"You said I didn't know enough about computers to..."

"Sorry. That didn't come out right. I keep forgetting
that, compared to the average person, you know quite a bit. Am I forgiven?"

"Yes."

Austin kissed Michelle gently.

"Mmm. Michelle, I'd like to stay here and neck all
evening, but we do have the small matter of two
puzzled, angry federal agents in our living room."

The agents were definintely puzzled and angry, one
each, but they were no longer in the living room.
Scully had stomped out to the car, intent on getting
in it, only to be stopped by the realization that
Mulder had the keys. Of course, he had the keys.
Mulder always had the keys!

Mulder reached his wife just as she was slamming her
hand down on the hood of the car in frustration.
"Don't do that, " he said automatically, "you'll hurt
yourself. And what the hell did you mean by saying
'ditto' back there? That I should have married
Michelle? The woman is a raving lunatic, Scully. I'm
trying to be kind and chalk it up to pregnancy
hormones or something, but she makes even less sense
than I do!

Scully let out her breath in a ragged sob. "Well, if
not her, someone like her. Phoebe or Fowley or any of
those dozens of other ex-girlfriends of yours who are
always popping out of the woodwork! Somebody who
agrees with all your beliefs on aliens and ESP and
government conspiracies and. . ."

So that's what this is all about, Mulder realized. He
was still somewhat confused, but she was clarifying
matters at least a little. If he'd only stopped to
think about it, he would have remembered that the only time his logical, rational partner started behaving this way was when she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman. God forgive him, before their marriage there had been times when he'd done it deliberately, because it was sometimes the only way he had of convincing himself that she cared for him on more than a platonic level. This time, however, he was honestly innocent. He hadn't been deliberately trying to make her jealous. He no longer had need of such childish games.  Now he knew how much she loved him.

Scully continued with a whispered sob, "somebody who
could have your baby."

"Sweetheart, is that what this is all about?" Mulder
asked tenderly, drawing her into his arms. "Does it
upset you to be around pregnant women or women with
babies?"

Scully gave another sob and nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just...it sounds so...I didn't even realize..."

"Dana, do you want a baby?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I can't. You know
that."

"I know it's unlikely; that doesn't mean it's
impossible."

"Fox, you were there with me! The doctor said I
couldn't. Not ever."
 
"This the same doctor who told us you were dying,
remember? But your cancer's not just in remission,
it's gone! He was wrong about that. What's to say he's not wrong about the effect on your fertility, too?"

"Would you want us to have a baby?"

"If it's what you want."

"Fox, that's not really an answer."

"Dana, it's the best one I can give you. I'm not
trying to dissemble, I'm just trying to be honest! I
don't think men are as. . .passionate about the idea
of having children. I"ve known women whose whole goal
in life was to be a mother and women who were
adamantly opposed to the idea! Men just aren't
usually like that. I guess we figure it's kind of up
to the woman to decide. I suppose we should have
talked about this before, but. . ."

"We sort of mentioned it on our wedding night, and
said we'd discuss it later, but we never really have."

"Look, sweetheart, the best answer I can give you is.
. .you're my whole life. Nothing else matters to me,
not really. Not my career, my search for the truth,
anything. By your actions today, I'm going to assume
that you'd like a baby, right?"

Scully gulped back a sob and nodded.

"Well, okay. I'm not opposed to that idea. If we
can't conceive one in the usual manner, there are all
kinds of new, high-tech medical options. You're a
doctor; you know that. There's also plain,
old-fashioned adoption. The only thing is. . ."

"What, Fox?"

"Does it have to be right away? I'm sorry if that
sounds selfish, Dana, but we've only been married a
few months. I want you to myself for a little bit
longer. If you got pregnant, or we started adoption
proceedings, we'd HAVE to go public with our
marriage."

"I know that. It would mean us splitting up as
partners; ending the X-Files while I went back to
Quantico and you returned to violent crimes."

"Before we were married, I used to ask myself
sometimes, if the trade off would be worth it. If I'd
be willing to give up working with you everyday in
order to come home to you every night. For a long
time, it was a question I couldn't answer. That's one
of the reasons I waited so long before revealing my
true feelings. I know now. As much as I like having
you as my partner, I NEED to have you as my wife. If
it's what you want, we'll tell Skinner as soon as we
get back to headquarters and request reassignment for
both of us."

"No, that's not what I want. At least not yet. I enjoy being with you night and day. I feel better now. I'd like to wait until our first anniversary and then get a second opinion from a doctor, get some tests run, make a mutual decision about whether we want to look at medical options or pursue adoption."

"That sounds great to me, sweetheart."

Mulder gently pulled his wife's chin up and wrapped
his arms around her waist. Bending his head, he kissed her softly. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Fox. I'm sorry I acted like such a
baby."

"Shh! It's all right, Dana. Just please. . .tell me,
okay? Let me know when something's bothering you."

"I will. I promise."

"Scully, I would dearly love to take you back to our
hotel room, but I think we need to go finish our
conversation with Austin."

"And Michelle," she added.

From the living room, Austin glanced out the window
then turned to Michelle. "Michelle, you were right.
Again."

"About what?"'

"Remember this morning, when I was insisting that
Agent Scully and Agent Mulder had a purely
professional relationship?"

"Yes. I said I thought they were in love with each
other."

"Well, you win. They're standing in our driveway
kissing each other."

"For heaven's sake, Austin, don't stand there and
stare at them. You'll embarrass them! Don't say
anything about it when they come back in, either!"
 
Mulder knocked on the front door for the second time
in less than an hour. He desperately wanted to wrap
his arm around Scully's shoulders and pull her close
to his body, but he contented himself with a hand
placed gently on the small of her back.

"Can we try it again?" Mulder asked. "I'll try not to
lose my cool this time."

"Yeah, me too," Austin agreed.

"I'm sorry I stomped off like that," Michelle said
softly. "Chalk it up to pregnancy related hormone
surges or something. In fact, I think I'll go upstairs and leave the three of your to discuss this."

"No, please, Michelle," Scully said quickly. "We'd
really like your input on this, as well as your
husband's."

The four of the stared at one another for a minute,
then Michelle broke the silence.

"Does it really matter so much whether the computer
application causing the deaths is a virus or a
website?"

"And does it matter whether the program is
self-generated or if it's being controlled by
someone?" Scully asked.

"After all," Mulder said, "the important thing is to
make sure we,"

"Shut it down," Austin finished.

An hour later, Austin emerged from the batcave with
several odd looking devices in his hands. "Okay, I've
got a theory of how to disarm the computer deathray,
or whatever the heck we've decided to call it."

"How?" Mulder asked.

"Okay, Mulder and Scully, you'll each need to go to
one of the computer terminals I have set up in the
house; I'll be at the main one in my lab."

"Hey, what about me?" Michelle asked.

"Sorry, 'Chelle, it's just too dangerous. If I've
worked out the calculations correctly, the amount of
electronic overdrive we'll be exposed to won't be
harmful to adults. But I don't know what it would do
to an unborn child and that's too big a risk to take."

"All right," she agreed reluctantly.

"Anyway, the deal is, we wear these special goggles
that block out most of the light pulsations. When we
all access the program simultaneously, the program
short circuits. Presto! No more killer computer!"

"Are you sure this will work?" Scullly asked
skeptically.

"Well, we won't know 'til we try and what better time
than now?"

As Scully and Mulder took their places before the
computers, Austin's voice spoke through the intercom.
"Okay, you both know the drill. I'll give the
countdown. Ten, nine, eight. . ."

On zero, all three of them plugged in the computer
password Austin had accessed. There was a dazzling
array of lights and noise from the computers, then an
angry hissing noise and the screens went blank.

"I think we did it!" Austin called out. "Everybody
okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Mulder answered.

"Agent Scully?" Austin asked.

"Scully?" Mulder echoed.

"I'm. . .I'm not sure," Scully finally said. "I keep
seeing the lights flashing, even when I close my
eyes."

"Okay, Agent Scully, here's what I want you to do,"
Austin called out calmly. "Close your eyes and keep
them closed. Let your partner walk you to the couch
and lay down. Do not open your eyes."

Mulder got up from the terminal he was sitting at and
hurried over to the one where Scully was. Slipping an
arm around her shoulders, he whispered in her ear,
"Okay, baby, I'm here. Can you make it to the couch?"

"Sure. Just guide me." She leaned into him, resting
her weight on him. Soon he had her settled on the
couch and was sitting on the floor beside it. Austin
and Michelle soon joined them in the room.

"Should we call a doctor?" Michelle asked.

"I AM a doctor," Scully pointed out.

"Well, okay, then," Austin said reasonably. "Based on
how you feel, should we take you to a hospital?"

"No, I'm. . ."

"Scully, if you say you're 'fine', I'm going to
strangle you! You know it drives me up the wall when
you say you're fine and you're obviously not!"

Scully smiled. "Okay, Mulder, okay. I'm not 'fine',
but I don't need to go to a hospital, either. Not
unless Austin thinks there's something in the way the
computers functioned that could have messed up my
neurons."

"I doubt it. I think it probably just hit you harder
than Mulder and me because you're smaller. I didn't
really take into account your lighter body when I was
making my calculations."

"How DO you feel, Dana?" Michelle asked.

"Just sort of. . .disoriented. I've been hypnotized a
couple of times, and this is how I felt just as I was
coming out of it."

"That's a good analogy; in a way the program was
trying to induce a form of hypnosis," Austin said. "Do you still see the lights flashing?"

"Not so much. I want to go to sleep."

"Is that a good idea?" Mulder asked. He honestly
didn't know if he was directing the question at Scully or Austin.

Surprisingly, it was Michelle who answered. "I don't
see why not. She doesn't have a concussion. Just so
long as you stay right by her and monitor her
breathing and pulse rate, Agent Mulder."

"Like I would leave?" he asked of no one in
particular.

Scully began to drift back to consciousness slowly.
She was still feeling disoriented. She could feel - or thought she could feel - her husband's lips against her neck. The odd thing about it, though, was that she couldn't feel him anywhere else. Waking up with Mulder's mouth pressed against her neck was not an unusual occurrence; in fact, he liked kissing and
nibbling on her there so much she sometimes wondered
if he hadn't investigated one too many vampire cases.
Usually, however, there was a corresponding touch from his hands as well as the general feeling of his body next to hers, their legs and torsos touching.

Suddenly, she remembered she was lying on the couch in Austin and Michelle's living room. "What are you
doing?" she whispered.

"Checking your pulse rate," he answered softly.

"That is NOT a scientific way to check someone's pulse rate."

"Well, gee Scully, I'M not a doctor. Your pulse rate
jumped when I started sucking on your neck, so I
assumed that meant you were okay. Besides, it seems to me it wouldn't be a scientific way to check if someone was running a fever, either, but I seem to remember you kissing me on the forehead once and then
announcing that my temperature was too high."

"That was. . .different," she muttered.

"How?" he asked, with a hint of amusement in his
voice.

"Well, for one thing, we weren't in the living room of someone else's house!"

"You want to try to open your eyes and sit up?"

"Yeah. Lean over so I can see your face when I open my eyes."

Mulder shifted his weight and placed one hand on the
back of the couch, then leaned down so their noses
were almost touching.

"Mulder, I can feel you breathing on me. Lean back
enough so that your face will be in focus when I open
my eyes."

He sat up a little bit straighter and she opened her
eyes. They smiled at each other.

"Well? Am I still as goofy-looking as ever?"

"She reached up to touch his face. "You're not
goofy-looking. You're gorgeous and you know it!"

Mulder slipped an arm underneath her shoulders and
helped her sit up. "You dizzy?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Scully," he said, a warning note in his voice.

"Mulder, I'm honestly, absolutely fine. My headache's
gone, I'm not dizzy or anything. I'm just sort of
hungry."

"Well, that's probably because it's nearly nine
o'clock and you haven't eaten since lunch."

"You know, Mulder, if I ever decide to quit the
F.B.I., I think I'm going to write a diet book. I'll
call it Doctor Dana's Newlywed Diet. I hardly ever get to eat dinner since we got married! I must have lost five pounds in the past four months."

"Dana, I'm not sure that's all due to skipping dinner. Some of it could have to do with the increased, um, exercise you've been getting lately," he smirked.

"Well, at least I get to SLEEP now. I don't have you
calling me on the phone or pounding on my door at all
hours of the night."

"I still wake you up in the middle of the night
sometimes."

"When it's for *THAT* I don't mind!"

They grinned at each other for a few moments, then
Mulder shifted and reached toward the coffee table. He held out a half-eaten sandwich to Scully.

"Here. Michelle made this for me. You finish it."

Just as she was taking a bite, Michelle and Austin
walked in. Parker was toddling between them, clutching a finger of each parent with his chubby hands.

"You don't have to eat his sandwich you know, Dana,"
Michelle siad with a smile. "I'll be  glad to fix you
one of your own."

Scully swallowed, then smiled back and said. "It
serves him right. He ate my pizza once when were were
on a case in Texas."

"Am I going to have to hear about that for the rest of my life?" Mulder asked. "Geez, we've been together for years, I ate your dinner ONE time and you make a
federal case of it!"

"Well, I'm a federal agent."

For some reason, that marginally funny joke cracked
everyone up. Mulder laughed so hard he thought he
might strain something and Michelle dissolved into
laughter so intense that he wondered if she might go
into labor right there. Even Austin, who had been a
pretty serious guy up to this point, chortled. Their
son, who couldn't possibly have understood what was
going on, cooed with laughter at the site of his
parents' hilarity.

When every finally calmed down, Austin asked, "So I
guess this means you're feeling okay, Agent Scully?"
At her answering nod, he added, "I'm sorry I didn't
take into account your lighter body weight when I made my calculations; that was a real bonehead mistake."

"No problem, Austin. You were under a lot of pressure
to move fast and there's no lasting harm done."

"So how much longer are you going to be in town?"
Michelle asked.

Mulder glanced at Scully, then answered, "We'll take
tomorrow to go back over some of the autopsy results,
maybe reinterview some of the victims' family members. Then we'll want to come back here to talk to Austin again, make sure the computer. . .virus or whatever it was, is really shut down. If everything checks out, we should be able to catch an early morning flight the day after that."

"Can you stay for dinner again tomorrow night?"
Michelle asked.

"How about we take you out instead?" Scully suggested. "Not only have you and Austin been a great help to us, you've fed us all this delicious food. We can even ask Dr. Thomas to join us."

"That would be great," Michelle said, "there's just
one thing."
 
"What?" Mulder asked.

"Well, we'd bring Parker. We don't leave him."

"That's not a problem," Scully said. "Just tell us a
nice restaurant that's child friendly and let us know
what time would work out best with his schedule."
 
A few minutes later, Mulder and Scully were in the car headed back toward their hotel.

"I'm sorry I ate your dinner," Scully said. "We can
stop on our way back and get something to eat if
you're still hungry."

"Dana, Michelle offered to make me another sandwich. I told her I wasn't hungry and I'm not. Well, at least not for anything Michelle or a restaurant could
provide me with," he said with a suggestive smile in
her direction.

"What did you have in mind?'

"Oh, I dunno. Let's just get back to the hotel and see what, er, comes up, shall we?"

They were silent for several minutes, then Mulder
said, "Scully, what you you said earlier today. .
.about Phoebe and Diane."

"Oh God, Mulder, please don't bring that up! I hate it when I act like a jealous, whiny brat! I KNOW you love me. And, of course, it's only natural that you have a certain amount of experience, considering that you were well into your 30s when we got married. I'm
embarrassed by my behavior. Can we just forget it?"

"Please, Dana, I'm not trying to embarrass you. It' s
just that. . .there are some things I'd feel better
about if I was sure you were absolutely clear on
them."

"Okay," she said with a sigh. "What do you want me to
know?"

"I love you."

"I know, Fox. I love you, too. That's why it's not
necessary. . ."

"Shh! Just let me talk, okay, Dana?" At her answering
nod, he continued. "I love you, but I didn't love
them. Those relationship involved a certain amount of
intellectual companionship combined with a certain
degree of sexual compatibility. They involved my head
and my hormones, but NEVER my heart! The only person
I'd ever loved - really, truly loved - during the
first thirty-one years of my life was my sister. I
loved her, and I lost her, and I swore I was never
going to let anyone into my heart like that again.
Because it hurt too bad. The funny thing is, I don't
think I ever even told her that I loved her. I treated her like a nuisance."

"She knew, Fox. I'm sure she did. Brothers are just
like that. My brothers never told me they loved me
when we were kids, but I always knew they did."

He smiled at her reassurance, then said, "But it
happened anyway. I didn't even realize it until you
were gone; after that incident with Duane Barry. The
same pattern, almost step by step. Having someone come into my life who, at first, I resented. Slowly letting her into my heart. Loving her so much, but never telling her. Then losing her. I thought I was going to die if I had to go on much longer without you. Then I got you back, only to almost lose you again to the cancer."

"Fox, it's over. All that's in the past. I'm here now, with you."

"I know, sweetheart. And we seem to have strayed
pretty far from the original topic of our discussion,
which is this: I never asked either Phoebe or Diane to marry me and I would never have wanted to have a child with either of them."

"Or anybody else?" she asked softly. "Any of the other women you had relationships with over the years?"

"No one else. Only you. Only ever you, Dana. As for
other women. . .except for those two you know about,
the others weren't really. . .relationships. Just
one-night stands. Probably not as many as you seem to
think, either. Really, I've always been more obsessed
with work than my personal life."

"Fox, in all the years we were partners, before were
were married, I mean, did you ever. . .?"

"Only once.  While you were. . .gone. I'd spent three
solid weeks searching for you and the bureau finally
insisted I start earning my pay again. They sent me
out to California on a vampire-killing type case. I
picked up a woman in a bar while I was out there, had
sex with her. I thought maybe it would dull the pain.
It didn't. I felt worse afterwards, as if I'd betrayed you. The weird thing about it is. . ."

"What?"

"I cheated on Phoebe once. Very first one-night-stand
I ever had. We were supposedly in a committed
relationship, but she was back in England and I was
spending a month in America with my folks. It didn't
bother me at all. I just figured, hey, it was one of
those things and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt
her. Never felt a bit of guilt over it. With you, even though technically speaking you weren't even mine to cheat ON, the guilt was so overwhelming it just about killed me. That's when I really started getting into all those movies you always used to tease me about. I mean, I couldn't have you, but I couldn't stomach having another woman, either. And I had to have some sort of release."

"Oh."

"Dana, can I ask YOU about something?"

"Of course."

"That guy. When you got the tattoo. Ed Jerse. Did you
and he. . .?"

"No, Mulder. I didn't sleep with him. Ever since I
first met you, I knew that I couldn't ever be with
anyone but you."

"I love you, Dana."

"I love you, too, Fox."

"Hey, look! We're back at the hotel."

This time, they didn't even bother to go through the
rigamarole of going into separate rooms, then walking
through the connecting doors. Instead, Mulder walked
her straight into his room and pulled her down onto
the bed beside him. They kissed once. Gently at first, then with increasing passion. Finally they both pulled away gasping for breath.

"Dana, we don't have to do this every single night,
you know."

"I know," she responded with a teasing smile.
"Sometimes we do it in the mornings or afternoons."

"I'm trying to be a sensitive guy here, honey. You
just got whammied by that computer and if you'd rather just cuddle. . ."

"Oh, I'm going to want to cuddle. But that can be for
dessert. I didn't get much dinner and right now I'm
hungry for a big, meaty main course." She slid her
hand down his chest, nimbly flicking open his shirt
buttons, then began massaging the prominent bulge
beneath his belt buckle.

"Scully?" he gasped.

"Yeah, Mulder?"

"I think we better take a minute and both remove our
holsters before somebody accidentally gets shot!"

"Good idea. I've got to go to the bathroom, too."

"Don't you dare take off your clothes while you're in
there,  Dana."

"Why? Don't you like to see me naked?"

"Of course I do! But you know damn well I like to
watch!"

When Dana emerged from the bathroom, her husband was
leaning against the wall, naked, waiting for her.

"How come you get to watch and I don't?" she asked
with a pout.

"You didn't ask. Stand right there and take off your
clothes. Slowly."

"Why right here?" she asked as she slid her jacket off her shoulders and tossed it onto a chair.

He gestured toward the mirror with his head. "Because
from this angle, I get to see it all."

"Oh." Scully forced her hands not to hurry as she
performed the striptease Mulder had requested. She
didn't really mind doing this for him - in fact, it
turned her on almost as much as it obviously turned
him on - but it was still a little bit embarrassing.

When she was naked except for both her necklaces, she
walked toward him. She lifted the longer necklace, the one with their wedding rings on it, over her head and quickly unfastened the clasp. The slipped the rings on each others' fingers, a ritual that had almost become as much a part of their lovemaking as the first kiss or afterglow cuddling.

Sculy closed her eyes and tilted back her head as
Mulder moved his mouth down her neck. Mmm! The man
definitely had some sort of vampire fixation, she
thought dreamily, but she wouldn't want him to outgrow it for the world! She felt his hands on her hips, pushing her gently in the direction he wanted her to move, and assumed they were headed toward the bed.

Instead, when she opened her eyes again, they were
standing in front of the dresser and he was smiling at her in the mirror.

"Sweetheart?" he whispered.

"Yes?"

"I'd like to. . ." he gulped and tried again, "like
this."

For a man who's always insisting I be explicit when I
tell him what I want, he seems to be having a little
bit of trouble with this, she thought with a smile.
"Why?" she asked softly.

"Well, you know I like this position. But you've said
it doesn't particularly appeal to you, mainly because
you can't see my face when I'm behind you. I thought,
this way. . with the mirror. . .we could both enjoy
it."

She smiled at him, their eyes meeting in the mirror.

"If you'd rather just move to the bed. . ." he
murmured.

She didn't answer immediately. At least, not in words. Instead, she bent down and rested her palms flat on the dresser. The action pushed her breasts up between her arms and her hips back against his body. "Like this?" she purred.

Scully could see his reaction in the mirror. His face
was contorted in a look that was part pleasure, part
struggle for control. "Yeah," he growled. "Just like
this."

Mulder began moving his hands down her body. Despite
the fact that she could see him, she couldn't touch
him, at least not with her hands, so she still wasn't
sure this would ever become her favorite position.
Nevertheless, there was something incredibly erotic
about watching not only his face, but his hands on her body.