My breath was rasping in my throat, but I ran on, faster than ever before. Behind me, I could hear a last explosion as our base collapsed completely. I almost stumbled as the concussion from the blast swept over me, but my beast mode’s four legs made it easier to balance than my robot’s mode’s two. Instead, I just raced on.
I paused as I leaped over a ridge--Rampage and Depth Charge were stumbling up the other side of it. The crab was supporting the ray-bot because of the massive tears in Depth Charge’s side. From the spacing of the marks, I knew Shatter had gotten him. Shivers of fear made me breath deeply to calm myself slightly. Instead of calming me, though, the air carried the scent of the grotesque fuzor on it, making my eyes widen until the whites showed all around.
The duo weren’t just going back to base; they were retreating from the Enemy’s advance. That meant the battle drew closer!
I reared in place, lashing out with my hooves and neighing wildly to get the two ‘bots’ attention. "The base is destroyed!" I cried. "You have to flee! I’ll take your places in the fight!" With that, I came down from my hind legs and wheeled to run towards where the sounds of battle grew closer.
Rampage’s optics widened in alarm. "No!" he called after me. "Megatron sent me to get you! You have to go, NOW!"
I threw my head up and reared again, giving in to my panic and frustration for the moment. Not now! Not with the Enemy advancing and the battle lines drawn! My comrades needed me!
Baring my teeth to the sky, I screamed my defiance and despair at the uncaring gray clouds. If Megatron said it was time, then we no longer had a choice. But my leader’s last coordinates were well inside the fight, and I would need my energy for something other than fighting if it was truly time for our last measure.
Depth Charge realized that at the same time as I did. "Leave me," he croaked. When Rampage seemed about to protest, the ray staggered away and supported himself against a rock. "Endgame needs an escort, and you’re it," he growled at the crab. "And without the base..." he let the sentence trail off and touched the ripped remains of his side with a hand.
I bowed my head in sorrow. The only remaining CR Chamber had been inside the base. Without it, Depth Charge was helpless and, to put it bluntly, dead slag. Stasis lock meant death if no one could drag him away from the Enemy, since capture was merely execution away from the battle lines. Mercy was not a word the Enemy understood.
I slowly paced forward and bumped my nose against his chest. "Goodbye, DC," I forced past the lump in my throat. "I won’t forget you."
He brought a trembling hand up to rub behind my ears. "Hey, if this works, you won’t have to," he said with a bit of sarcasm. Then his face softened, and he seemed to suffer from the same lump that was in my throat. "I hope we meet again, Endgame," he said softly.
Of course we wouldn’t. Even if this worked, we’d still never know each other even if the unlikely course of events that led to us meeting ever happened again. But it wouldn’t. I had to make sure it never happened.
"I hope so, too," I choked out. I turned away then, walking away.
Rampage hesitated behind me. "May you die quickly," he said finally and hurried to catch up with me. We both looked back at the top of the next ridge.
Depth Charge had his remora-gun out, and he saluted us with it grimly.
"Fight well, old friend," Rampage whispered. He abruptly dropped into his tank mode and trundled away.
I reared again, bugling my last farewell. I whirled and galloped after the tank, and together we made a thundering entrance on the battlefield. If our thunder had an edge of grief to it, then it only made us more dangerous. I stayed in my beast mode, striking at the Enemy with only my hooves and biting with my teeth. Rampage cleared a path for me with his missiles, running over any of the Enemy unfortunate enough to get in his way.
I jumped over the carnage in his wake, dodging lasers and other weapons-fire. My coat was singed and the air stank with the smell of burned hair from my tail when Shatter finally made an appearance, pouncing on Rampage from the side. The tank flipped over, but he transformed before the fuzor could strike again. Unfortunately, the oversized claws on one of Shatter’s scale-covered paws sent Rampage’s missile launcher flying off into the fighting figures surrounding us before he could use it.
I skidded to a halt. "Rampa--"
"Go!" Rampage shouted. "Get to Megatron!" He tackled Shatter as the fuzor started to turn towards me in interest. "GO!"
I danced in place, eyes dark with indecision. Finally, my legs stretched again into a flat-out run. What I had to do was more important than one fight, no matter how many friends I left behind. I flashed through the fray, searching for my leader.
"Endgame!"
I snorted and shied violently as Rattrap scurried in front of me. Battle instincts almost made me lash out, but at the last instant I recognized the rat.
"C’mon!" he yelled at me to be heard over the din of battle. "I’ll guide ya ta Megatron!"
I stomped my forefeet to get his attention before he could scurry off and wheeled until I was standing with my side to him. "Get on, it’ll be faster!" I yelled in a similar manner. He nodded and transformed, placing his hands on my back and mounting as I had taught most of the smaller members of our team to do. As soon as he was safely in place, I started running again, occasionally flicking an ear back when he shouted where to go. I had to concentrate, running, listening to the instructions, and weaving through the battle.
When Rockslide attacked, I barely had time to react. I just saw a blur of gray motion off to the side, and my head snaked sideways, ears laid flat to my skull. My teeth met hard flesh, and I shook it violently. The gray viper/timber wolf fuzor yelped and tore loose, but I didn’t let him retreat and attack again. The pain and frustration of losing friends was driving me.
"Hang on!" I screamed to Rattrap. Then I reared, crow-hopping towards Rockslide. He backed away, confused by my unorthodox move. Usually, I would transform and fight, but I didn’t have the time or energy to spare for that. Instead, I merely advanced, lashing out with my hooves.
Rockslide stopped moving back and hissed at me instead. I think he might have been about to transform, but I didn’t give him time. When he stopped moving, I hopped closer and brought my forefeet down on him, hooves crushing his head.
"That way!" Rattrap yelled in my ear. I leaped over Rockslide’s body and resumed my run.
This time I knew where I was headed, though. A circle of our fighters protected something inside them, and I could see Megatron inside them. He saw me first and shouted a command. The circle made a narrow opening for me, and I raced through it. I had to sit back on my haunches to stop before I hit Tarantulas and Life, though. Rattrap slipped off my back and into the protective circle.
Megatron was waiting. "It has to be now, Endgame," he told me grimly while the spider worked frantically. "I heard the base go," he said before I could tell him, "and we have no more avenues of retreat."
I shivered. "I’m not sure I can do it," I whispered. "I’m not sure I can stop this." I looked around, at all the fighters. They were depending on me...to ultimately kill them. Then I looked at Life. He broke off his work on the machine to reach out and rub my ears. Everybody knew I liked that.
Depth Charge had known...
"You can do it because you have to," the spider next to Life told me. He saw the conflict in my eyes and forced a tiny chuckle, a ghost of his old maniacal self. "You’re going to make me go through all the effort of building this thing," he gestured to the machine, "and then you’re going to back out? That’s not fair!"
I snorted a giggle involuntarily at Tarantulas’s indignant tone of voice, but then I sighed. My eyes stung as I nuzzled Life. He wrapped his arms around my neck and held me tight, a best friend and love in one. Tarantulas stood back and watched us, his work on the machine apparently completed. "I don’t want to do this," I said sadly, "but I guess I have no choice." None of us did.
A hand on my back made me look back, to where Megatron waited, almost forgotten. "I’m sorry," he told me softly. "I wish I could spare you this, but..." He helplessly looked away, the sounds of the battle surrounding us all too close.
"I know," I said wearily. I gently bumped my leader’s arm with my nose, but then lowered my head until I only saw the ground in front of my face. "I don’t blame you." I could, I knew. I could blame them for bringing us to this. Certainly, they blamed themselves. Enemies had become allies, odd friendships formed out of old hatred. We all fought for something more than ourselves, and now our last line of defense was crumpling as we watched. It was all up to this last effort--a desperate attempt to stop this before it began.
It was up to me.
I shuddered under the burden I bore. "Oh, Life," I sighed to my love. The plan was so simple, yet so hard. "There must be more." He stroked my neck in silent sympathy as I stared at the ground.
"There isn’t." Rhinox knelt by my side. I rolled my eyes until I could see him clearly.
Rattrap was on my other side. "If it’s any comfort," he said awkwardly. "I forgive ya in advance."
"As do I," Megatron said immediately.
"And me," Tarantulas echoed.
Rhinox simply nodded. Around us, the fighters who heard us glanced back. One by one, they all nodded their acceptance and forgiveness. Grief and fear were in some of their expressions, while pain was in others. But they all knew what had to be done.
As did I.
Still, I looked to Life. He looked at me for a long moment, our love and friendship not needing words anymore. When he nodded, my throat closed. He had condemned himself and everyone important to us all, and I was the executioner. Oh Life, there must be more time for us. There must be more.
I twitched my skin as if a fly had stung me, and my head lifted again. I arched my neck and pranced in place, raising my tail into a silky white banner. My dancing made my mane shimmer along my neck, I knew, and the fighters who could see me cheered at the proud sight I made with my ears pricked forward and alert. It gave me a sick feeling to know that they were cheering their doom and salvation, but the defiant hope that welled within all of us worked against our Enemy. I kept my eyes locked on Life, and he gave me a smile of sorrowful pride and love for me. Oh, Life...
Megatron watched me and nodded to Tarantulas. The spider bent towards the machine, turning it on.
I reared, striking at the cloudy sky above with my hooves as I trumpeted a battle cry. I couldn’t stay up forever, but I gathered myself when I landed and launched myself upwards again as a small green whorl of energy, just big enough to let me pass, formed in front of me from the machine. I screamed my anger and sorrow to my friends, and when I came down, I came down running. I didn’t glance back, not even for a last glimpse of Life.
The world I knew vanished in a flash of green.
I groggily opened my eyes, carefully raising my head out of the sand. Sand? Oh, I was on a beach. Waves were washing up on the shoreline near me, and I watched them as I struggled to my feet. Had it worked? It must have...or had it? I could be at any time, not at the one I needed to be at.
I snorted the sand out of my nostrils and walked slowly to the water. Now the waves seemed to be rolled away from me, back out to sea. On the horizon, the sun was just peeking up over the water. Morning? That was definitely a different time than when I had started. This all had the feeling of being a dream. Was I really here? No, not really. I mean, I didn’t actually exist in this time. But had I arrived in the right time?
I lowered my head to the water, taking a mouthful. I swallowed it despite its salty fish taste. No, this wasn’t a dream. I couldn’t taste things in dreams. My head was still down, so the next wave hit my face. I raised my head quickly, so the water dripped off of me, falling back down to the water in imitation of the tears I wished I could shed.
So, this was real. Was it the right time, though? I had arrived at a different place and time. I had to believe it was the RIGHT time. It wasn’t like I had a choice, after all. I only had one chance at this.
Doubts assaulted me as I stood looking at the sun. Would they find me? Would they even care? Rhinox, Tarantulas, and Megatron had all assured me that a strange energy anomaly like the one the machine had created would definitely draw their attention, but I wasn’t so sure. Not here, not now. Away from my friends and their encouragement, I wasn’t sure I could do it. Oh, I wasn’t sure at all.
Oh Life, there must be more...
A sound? Yes, engines.
I flung my head up and trembled. I knew that sound, oh, I knew it. How could I go through with this? How could I look at them and do it?
The Maximals and Predacons arrived at the same time, roaring onto the beach. My breath caught in a strained gasp as Depth Charge transformed and landed. When I had first seen him, back in another life, the life I had left behind, he had been the one to activate my pod. He had arrived just in time to save me from the Enemy. I had jokingly called him an ‘Angel of Mercy’ because his sillouhette with the fins so like wings had been the first I had seen of him.
Now he didn’t even know me. And none of the Maximals and Predacons who came onto the beach knew me, either. Although, I had never actually met all of them. Some had been dead by the time I came online. But...it appeared that they were all here. I counted and nodded grimly. Good, they WERE all here. My task was made that much easier, though it was by no means easy--in mind, if nothing else.
They gathered on the beach in front of me as I quietly stood near the water. They seemed content to just exchanging insults for the moment. Even Rampage scuttled out of the water to join them. I stood there, watching them for a long moment until they turned towards me.
The one I knew only by description as Optimus Primal stepped forward. "Greetings...." he trailed off, apparently hoping I’d fill in my name and faction.
I couldn’t speak. Words failed me as my heart screamed my anguish. No one heard my pain. They probably didn’t care, in the case of most of them. The defiant hope I had felt when I had left my friends was gone, and I couldn’t seem to find it. Without that hope, I didn’t know if I could do this. I looked into myself, searching for something, anything, that would help me. The brightness of the morning sun seemed to dim, bleaching the color from everything. Hope had left. Where had it gone?
Megatron smiled at me. It wasn’t the rare smile I had sometimes seen on his face. This was a fake one. "My dear, if you would simply transform, it would make this conversation easier."
I looked at him in suffering, my eyes darkened with pain. Oh, how I wish I could be as numb as I used to be, before Life came into my life! Before he changed me, I was as still and cold as the deepest water. Now, I couldn’t do this!
Oh Life, I’ve lost the will! How could I do this?!
This was an instant where I was held between choices, in the middle of a bridge between two fates. I saw the life I could have, the one with the Enemy, but also with Life. It was a battered life, but one with my friend and love. But if I chose to follow through with the plan, that life would never be. Instead, the future would be safe for others.
Oh Life, there must be more...more time, more of our lives together.
I stood tall, pricking up my ears and tail, arching my neck. A picture of enduring beauty in a time of ugliness, Life had told me. A delicate white horse with a battered heart. I could feel the waves lapping against my hocks, the tide coming in with the morning. I ignored the feeling. I would be gone before water rose high enough to bother me.
"Endgame," I called in a strong voice that didn’t show my internal strife, "Suicide!"
My unusual activation code brought strange looks at as I transformed. It was a left over from my time before Life. The time when the fighting was too much for me, when too many friends had died. I had kept it in memory of that time.
I looked at them staring at me, and my heart broke into sharp-edged shards. That time had come again, and Life wasn’t here to mend my heart. There wasn’t enough time to heal me, anyway. Not anymore.
A seductive voice whispered to me inside my mind. I could talk to them, tell them what would happen. I could make them see. Then I could live peacefully, and Life would eventually come to me.
But, no. Life’s pod would have never come crashing down if the Enemy hadn’t come. I would never see him again, never be held in his arms again. And logic didn’t work when emotions and plans got in the way. Tarantulas and Megatron would never cooperate if I tried. They had told me so when we had planned this out.
No choice. I was alone, forever. I looked down at the water lapping at my feet, swirling around them in little wavelets. Tricks of light made the reflected light on the water seem to be coming from in front of me, not behind me where the sun was still rising above the horizon. I let the swirling water hypnotize me, willing my pain to dull as my very ALONENESS struck me. My last fight, my last dance with danger, and Life wasn’t here to share it. Never again.
I accepted the agony as my only option stayed steady in my mind, the other possible futures leaving, taking my life with it. I was resigned to death, but I still could not, quite, condemn everyone else. I turned my face to the dawn, away from the still-staring Maximals and Predacons. They were waiting for me to do something. I looked away, my heart crying.
Oh Life, I’m barely holding on. I can hardly make myself stay here instead of fleeing. There are no other futures, no other possibilities. They’re as distant as the ocean floor, and as reachable. Oh Life, there must be more...there must be more...
I turned back to the waiting transformers, my mind made up. I’ll leave with the early light. I’ll leave this life behind, my death pushing me into the next life with the power of a hurricane wind. I’ll wait there, for as long as it takes. But Life...don’t take too long.
"Rampage," I said clearly. I walked forward towards the crab, taking that fatal step off the bridge between choices. It was almost time to end this, but I had to be near the immortal ‘bot.
"How did you--?"
I didn’t know who started to ask the question of how I knew the crab’s name, and I didn’t really care. Instead, I reached out quickly and caught Rampage’s hands. He stared at me in shock, and I sobbed as I glanced around at all the other startled faces of the people who would have been my friends.
"I’m so sorry," I moaned to no one and everyone, in this time and the future. "I’m so sorry. I know you forgave me before this began, but...Oh Life, I’m barely holding on!" I let go of one of Rampage’s hands and clawed open a compartment in the middle of my chest. Underneath the concealing panel, a simple button was shown. I pressed it. "I’m so sorry," I said again brokenly, to the uncaring sky, to the Maximals, to the Predacons, but most of all, to Life. "To protect the future, we all have to die," I whispered. "I’m so sorry."
The bomb in my chest started its countdown in a loud, prerecorded voice. Rampage’s eyes widened, but my hands held his in a grip not even he could break. I had to be close to him, to make sure he was hit by the full force of the explosion.
My spark was sinking with the anguish and guilt I felt as the Maximals and Predacons cried out in stunned horror. There wasn’t enough time for them to get out of the blast radius. Rattrap had measured and timed it that way.
But as much as I regretted what would happen, my spark strained to be free. Once, I had tried to kill myself, convinced that my pain would end, and there would be nothing after death. Now...Oh Life, there must be more!
Oh Life, there must be something more!