Following the Leader, by Lady Dementia
(Author's Note: Okay, I know I’m completely ignoring the time continuity. This is a majorly screwed up fic, so if you’re reading this and you don’t want to read anything involving a mixed-up time sequence or certain Hasbro-owned characters getting killed and/or mangled for no profit on my part (HA! Got the legal stuff in there...), stop reading. Now. No, seriously. Stop reading! Hellooooooo!? Are you still reading this?! What’s wrong with you?! Oh well, can’t say I didn’t warn you...)

(We see the Predacon base. You know, lava, gloom, and all that. Normal stuff. We zoom in through several dimly-lit corridors (it seems to be a standard not to have good lighting in Bad Guy HQ), and end up on the command platform, where we can see the Megatron with the T-Rex hand asleep in his throne. Suddenly, Dinobot runs in.)
DINOBOT: (poses with his sword and rotating shield thingie) Megatron! I challenge you for the leadership of the Predacons! Face me in honorable combat!
MEGATRON: *snore*
DINOBOT: (pokes Megatron with his sword) Get up and--
(Inferno runs in suddenly)
INFERNO: AAAAAAHahahaHAHA!!! For the Royalty! (waves his flamethrowers around)
(Dinobot skewers the fire ant and throws him into the lava below)
INFERNO: Oh, slag!
DINOBOT: (turns back to Megatron) *ahem* So, anyway, like I was saying--
(Gets shot from behind by Terrorsaur...)
DINOBOT: Oh, slag.
(...and is killed when the lucky shot pierces his spark. Terrorsaur pushes the body into the lava below. Megatron sleeps through the whole thing.)
TERRORSAUR: (grins nastily and turns to look at the sleeping tyrant) No one kills Megatron and assumes control of the Predacons...(pulls out a bomb)...except me!
(Terrorsaur arms the bomb and tosses it into Megatron’s lap.)
TERRORSAUR: Catch!
MEGATRON: (wakes up part-way) Huh? Oh, slag!
(The bomb explodes, disintegrating Megatron’s torso and head, but leaving the throne intact.)
TERRORSAUR: (pushes the remains of Megatron into the lava after Dinobot) Haha! I now rule the Predacons! (turns around) Oh, slag!
(A ticked-off Scorponok unloads his missiles into Terrorsaur’s face, sending his body into the lava below.)
SCORPONOK: (realizes something) Hey! I’m First-In-Command!
(Waspinator races onto the command platform without watching where he’s going and knocks Scorponok into the lava.)
SCORPONOK: (falling) Oh, slaaaaaaag...!
WASPINATOR: (realizes what just happened) Yay! Waspinator rulezzzz!
(A giant can of Raid suddenly is revealed off to the side, killing Waspinator instantly and sending him into the lava below. ‘Oh, slag!’ is implied. So is, ‘Why universe hate Wazzpinator?’)
(A black widow creeps down from the ceiling and laughs in delight at the carnage.)
BLACKARACHNIA: Yes! I now rule the Predacons!
QUICKSTRIKE: (off in the distance) Sugarbot!
(Blackarachnia’s eyes narrow in thought. Another call a little closer to her position speed up her thinking. After a moment she shrugs.)
BLACKARACHNIA: Oh, slag this. Nothing is worth putting up with THAT loser. (leaves the Predacons for the Maximals)
QUICKSTRIKE: (shows up a minute later) Sugarbot? (looks around) Hey, where in tarnation is everybody?!
(Finds enough clues that he finally realizes that most everybody’s dead)
QUICKSTRIKE: Yee-Ha! I’m the boss!
(a silver blur momentarily blocks out Quickstrike, but we see him in several pieces when the blur turns into TM2 Dinobot. The raptor kicks the pieces into the lava.)
QUICKSTRIKE’S PIECES: Oh, slag!
TM2 DINOBOT: *snarl* Now I am in charge.
(A giant web suddenly lifts up underneath him, snaring him. The web moves quickly to dump the raptor in the lava before he can claw his way loose.)
TM2 DINOBOT: Oh, slag!
(Tarantulas walks out onto the command platform triumphantly, chuckling madly.)
TARANTULAS: HeheheheAHaehehaehA! Anyone want to challenge MY right to rule?
(A large hand taps his shoulder from behind, and the spider turns around to see Rampage smiling down at him.)
TARANTULAS: *gulp* Oh, slag...


(HA! You think I’m done after that?! Shame on you! You should know me better than that by now! However, this next part’s just demented, not funny.


(We see the Predacon base again, except it looks nothing like it normally does. Oh, the lava and the gloom are there still, but there are the various dead and sparkless bodies of the Maximals lying around (the Predacons’ are in the lava...) and the base has more holes in its structure than solid metal. A missile ripping through a wall shows why, and we follow it to its source. It’s Rampage, sitting sideways with one leg over the armrest of Megatron’s throne. From his position we can tell that he’s very used to sitting on the seat. He’s humming tunelessly and occasionally firing his missiles randomly at things.)
RAMPAGE: I’m getting impatient! (aims his weapon at something out of sight)
(He turns until we can see Tarantulas, who looks rather battered and worn but is still intact. It’s more than he can say about anyone else, so he’s not complaining. Besides, at the moment Rampage has a missile launcher pointed straight at him. He cringes back against the pod he’s working on.)
TARANTULAS: (frantic) Wait! Wait! I just need a little more time!
RAMPAGE: (annoyed) I’ve been waiting long enough! How long until that thing is space-worthy?!
TARANTULAS: (chuckles nervously) Um...
(Rampage snarls and gets out of the throne to stalk over. He towers menacingly over the frightened spider.)
RAMPAGE: (angry) How. Much. Longer.
TARANTULAS: *gulp* I-I should be able to...I need to rewire...Eep!
(Rampage grabs Tarantulas by the throat and lifts him up to his eye-level.)
RAMPAGE: (softly) I will get off this planet, with (his grip tightens) or without your cooperation. (drops the spider and goes back to throne) Get back to work.
(Tarantulas gasps for air, but does as he’s told. A slight smirk crosses his face as he turns away from the crab.)
TARANTULAS: (whispering to himself) Oh, you’ll get off the planet, alright. Intact? Well, that’s another matter...

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