(We see the Predacon base. You know, lava,
gloom, and all that. Normal stuff. We zoom in through several dimly-lit
corridors (it seems to be a standard not to have good lighting in Bad Guy
HQ), and end up on the command platform, where we can see the Megatron
with the T-Rex hand asleep in his throne. Suddenly, Dinobot runs in.)
DINOBOT: (poses with his sword and rotating
shield thingie) Megatron! I challenge you for the leadership of the Predacons!
Face me in honorable combat!
MEGATRON: *snore*
DINOBOT: (pokes Megatron with his sword)
Get up and--
(Inferno runs in suddenly)
INFERNO: AAAAAAHahahaHAHA!!! For the Royalty!
(waves his flamethrowers around)
(Dinobot skewers the fire ant and throws
him into the lava below)
INFERNO: Oh, slag!
DINOBOT: (turns back to Megatron) *ahem*
So, anyway, like I was saying--
(Gets shot from behind by Terrorsaur...)
DINOBOT: Oh, slag.
(...and is killed when the lucky shot pierces
his spark. Terrorsaur pushes the body into the lava below. Megatron sleeps
through the whole thing.)
TERRORSAUR: (grins nastily and turns to
look at the sleeping tyrant) No one kills Megatron and assumes control
of the Predacons...(pulls out a bomb)...except me!
(Terrorsaur arms the bomb and tosses it
into Megatron’s lap.)
TERRORSAUR: Catch!
MEGATRON: (wakes up part-way) Huh? Oh,
slag!
(The bomb explodes, disintegrating Megatron’s
torso and head, but leaving the throne intact.)
TERRORSAUR: (pushes the remains of Megatron
into the lava after Dinobot) Haha! I now rule the Predacons! (turns around)
Oh, slag!
(A ticked-off Scorponok unloads his missiles
into Terrorsaur’s face, sending his body into the lava below.)
SCORPONOK: (realizes something) Hey! I’m
First-In-Command!
(Waspinator races onto the command platform
without watching where he’s going and knocks Scorponok into the lava.)
SCORPONOK: (falling) Oh, slaaaaaaag...!
WASPINATOR: (realizes what just happened)
Yay! Waspinator rulezzzz!
(A giant can of Raid suddenly is revealed
off to the side, killing Waspinator instantly and sending him into the
lava below. ‘Oh, slag!’ is implied. So is, ‘Why universe hate Wazzpinator?’)
(A black widow creeps down from the ceiling
and laughs in delight at the carnage.)
BLACKARACHNIA: Yes! I now rule the Predacons!
QUICKSTRIKE: (off in the distance) Sugarbot!
(Blackarachnia’s eyes narrow in thought.
Another call a little closer to her position speed up her thinking. After
a moment she shrugs.)
BLACKARACHNIA: Oh, slag this. Nothing is
worth putting up with THAT loser. (leaves the Predacons for the Maximals)
QUICKSTRIKE: (shows up a minute later)
Sugarbot? (looks around) Hey, where in tarnation is everybody?!
(Finds enough clues that he finally realizes
that most everybody’s dead)
QUICKSTRIKE: Yee-Ha! I’m the boss!
(a silver blur momentarily blocks out Quickstrike,
but we see him in several pieces when the blur turns into TM2 Dinobot.
The raptor kicks the pieces into the lava.)
QUICKSTRIKE’S PIECES: Oh, slag!
TM2 DINOBOT: *snarl* Now I am in charge.
(A giant web suddenly lifts up underneath
him, snaring him. The web moves quickly to dump the raptor in the lava
before he can claw his way loose.)
TM2 DINOBOT: Oh, slag!
(Tarantulas walks out onto the command
platform triumphantly, chuckling madly.)
TARANTULAS: HeheheheAHaehehaehA! Anyone
want to challenge MY right to rule?
(A large hand taps his shoulder from behind,
and the spider turns around to see Rampage smiling down at him.)
TARANTULAS: *gulp* Oh, slag...
(HA! You think I’m done after that?! Shame
on you! You should know me better than that by now! However, this next
part’s just demented, not funny.
(We see the Predacon base again, except
it looks nothing like it normally does. Oh, the lava and the gloom are
there still, but there are the various dead and sparkless bodies of the
Maximals lying around (the Predacons’ are in the lava...) and the base
has more holes in its structure than solid metal. A missile ripping through
a wall shows why, and we follow it to its source. It’s Rampage, sitting
sideways with one leg over the armrest of Megatron’s throne. From his position
we can tell that he’s very used to sitting on the seat. He’s humming tunelessly
and occasionally firing his missiles randomly at things.)
RAMPAGE: I’m getting impatient! (aims his
weapon at something out of sight)
(He turns until we can see Tarantulas,
who looks rather battered and worn but is still intact. It’s more than
he can say about anyone else, so he’s not complaining. Besides, at the
moment Rampage has a missile launcher pointed straight at him. He cringes
back against the pod he’s working on.)
TARANTULAS: (frantic) Wait! Wait! I just
need a little more time!
RAMPAGE: (annoyed) I’ve been waiting long
enough! How long until that thing is space-worthy?!
TARANTULAS: (chuckles nervously) Um...
(Rampage snarls and gets out of the throne
to stalk over. He towers menacingly over the frightened spider.)
RAMPAGE: (angry) How. Much. Longer.
TARANTULAS: *gulp* I-I should be able to...I
need to rewire...Eep!
(Rampage grabs Tarantulas by the throat
and lifts him up to his eye-level.)
RAMPAGE: (softly) I will get off this planet,
with (his grip tightens) or without your cooperation. (drops the spider
and goes back to throne) Get back to work.
(Tarantulas gasps for air, but does as
he’s told. A slight smirk crosses his face as he turns away from the crab.)
TARANTULAS: (whispering to himself) Oh,
you’ll get off the planet, alright. Intact? Well, that’s another matter...