This has definitely qualified as one of my worst days. It's been even worse than the day that slagging missile on Ravage's ship blew me up, and that had HURT! Then again, I had only been blown to pieces by the missile. Energon through my spark had disintegrated me...

All in all, I'd say being immortal has its downsides. Sure, I can beat the slag out of anybody and anything because I keep coming back from wounds that would kill anybody else, but that also means that I have to live through them. I like pain in OTHER people. I'm not that fond of it in myself!

It's a pity Megatron figured that out. But let's not get into that, hmm?

So, anyway, I was having a pretty awful day. First the base got blown up. Well, okay, so that wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't left my tourist postcard of Omicron in my room (Wish You Were Here--So I Could Kill You Too!), but it's the thought that counts. Why couldn't that freakish fuzor have destroyed the ship when Megatron was inside?! Oh, well. Too late now, I suppose.

Next on the agenda for the worst day of my life was a fight with the idiotic purple saurian himself. That, of course, got my spark tortured by the other idiotic saurian, Dinobot.

Ouch.

I was in a WONDERFUL mood when Megatron led us to Tarantulas's not-so-secret underwater route to that antique Decepticon ship. Kind of strange, really. Did the spider set that up so he could have his own personal rollercoaster ride, or something? I'm just glad I didn't have to ride in that dinky little submarine, too, or somebody might have died, and with Dinobot along, it probably wouldn't have been Megatron.

Then I met up with Depth Charge. Perfect timing, Fish Face. You couldn't have caught me in a worse mood. So, we fought, as we always do, and then I got disintegrated.

Ouch again.

So that's why I was sitting there on the ocean floor with only half a leg, most of my torso, and my head intact. Recovery sucked almost as badly as getting blown up, because all of my wounds (and I was slaggin' covered with the things) stayed open until all the tiny little bits of me that had gotten blown off of me were reattached. That hurt. A LOT.

I've never been very patient, and it's not like I could do anything to hurry up the healing process. I couldn't force my spark to attract my pieces back faster. Meanwhile, though, my grumbling scared away most of the fish in the area that hadn't been scared off by the Nemesis lifting off (or at least I was assuming it lifted off--I couldn't figure out any other way a slaggin' huge ship like that could just disappear). Slag. That meant I couldn't munch on any to help replace some of the energy my spark was using up. If I had just thought of that BEFORE I started ranting at the universe in general...great, now I was getting angry again!

Take deep breaths, Rampage. Um, no, wait, you're under water. Cancel that thought! Just--think happy thoughts. Think about great massacres you've done, 'bot's you've killed, the very likely possibility that Depth Charge was dead because you exploded...

__Not very honorable, are you.__

...the voice in your head...

Wait a nano. Voice in my head? Since when did I have a voice in my head?! I must have been imagining things. Think about feeling fear in your victims...

__Cut that out.__

...uh, excuse me?

__I said, cut that out. It's not honorable.__

I blinked and glanced around. Nope, nobody had sneaked up on me while I was trying not to pay attention to the painful process of healing. Where--?

"Hello?" I asked skeptically. "Is anyone there?" Not likely, if I couldn't see them. Even with only part of my body operational, I should have been able to see if anyone was trying to sneak up on me. Not that I could have done anything about it, but I should have at least been able to see anything that happened.

__Yes.__

Okay, this was weird... "Where are you?"

__Inside your head, of course.__

I sat there thinking over that one. The only voices I had ever heard of that were in your head were because you were either completely crazy (I only kill people. I'm not REALLY crazy!) or, possibly... "Are you an angel?" I asked tentatively. But that was only a Terran myth, wasn't it?

__Er, maybe. Not really.__

Huh? "Huh?"

__Oh, you really don't know who I am, do you?__

"No...should I?" What the slag was going on?!

__I sort of expected you to recognize my voice after living with that mutated blender.__ The voice in my head gave a disappointed sigh while I puzzled over the 'mutated blender' part. What's a blender? __I suppose I'll have to do this the hard way.__ The voice cleared his throat. Well, not really, since he didn't actually have a throat. It was the mental equivalent of clearing his throat. Anyway... __Ahem. This is your conscience speaking,__ he said carefully, I guess to make sure I heard him right. __My name is Dinobot. The original.__

"...Dinobot?" Oh, slag. Dinobot was in my head. The original Dinobot, who, according to Megatron on a GOOD day, was a traitor with Maximal goodie-goodie sentiments. Why did I NOT think this was a good thing?! "But I don't have a conscience!" I protested.

__You have one now.__

"You're dead!"

__The author brought me back.__

That rocked me. Author? What author?! "Huh?!"

__Er...I mean, the Matrix sent me back to keep an eye on you.__

I sighed. This ought to be fun. Instead of Fish Face on my trail, now I had the Matrix. Oh, joy. "Is there any way to get rid of you?" Lemme see...living dead...zombies or vampires, right? "Crucifixes?"

__No. I'm not undead.__

"Garlic?"

__I'm not undead! And, no.__

"Barbie?"

__...where are you getting this from?! No!__

Slag. And I had thought that one worked on everyone...

__While we're on the topic, let's discuss your behavior.__

When had we gotten on that topic?! "What exactly did you want to discuss?" I asked warily. A piece of my arm floated over and slowly reattached itself to my shoulder. I flexed it and flinched. Ouch!

__I'm here to insure you no longer kill, maim, frighten, or do other dishonorable things,__ Dinobot lectured.

I flinched again. I must be dreaming. This had to be a nightmare! "But that's what makes life fun!"

__Exactly.__

"...oh." I had always wondered why other people had consciences...I moodily watched the sole of one of my feet inch towards me. I briefly attempted to figure out a way to block out my unwanted guest, but I had no idea where to start. "This isn't fair." That's got to be the understatement of the century. "Why are you here NOW, anyway? In MY head?"

__It's part of the plot.__

"Huh?!"

__Uh...I mean, circumstances demanded it.__

There was something funny about that...but I suppose it's just because he's dead. And in my head. GrrRRRrrr...

__Stop that.__

"Hey! I'm allowed to snarl at things if I WANT to!" I yelled indignantly, then watched in disappointment as the gradually returning fish fled yet again. Stupid, stupid, STUPID! No more yelling at the voice in my head!

__No, you're not.__

"Are too."

__Nope. Not any more, at least.__

"What're you going to do about it, Dead-bot?" I growled as another piece of my body was slowly dragged closer. I eyed it. It sort of looked like part of my other leg.

__...that wasn't very nice.__

"Aw, did I hurt your feelings? What a shame." The piece floated over and reattached itself. Oh, good! Now I had two stumps of legs!

__How'd you like it if your body stopped healing?__

That caught my attention. "You can do that?"

__Yes.__

"Um." Slag. A conscience with power. This does NOT bode well. "I think I hate you," I remarked matter-a-factly.

__Aw, did I hurt your feelings? What a shame. Now, stop snarling at everything. It scares away the fish.__

I stopped snarling and sulked instead. This day was only getting worse.

__That's better. Anyway, I'm here to change you for the better.__

"Ha. In whose opinion?" It certainly wasn't mine!

__The author's.__

"WHAT?!" Slag, there went the fish again. But...the author? "What the..?"

__Eh-heh. The Matrix's.__

"Uh...right."

__First of all, no more snarling and growling. What kind of conversation is 'snarl blargh'? You did that all during the Beast Wars, and it's time for a change.__

"Like what?" I muttered resentfully.

__Have you ever tried actual conversation? It's a lot different than just acting like you're about to bite someone in the leg, but I'm sure your mind is up the challenge.__

"Whatever."

__Tsk, tsk. That wasn't very polite.__

"Hey, I didn't snarl at you, did I? Take what you can get!" Yeesh, there was just no impressing this guy, was there? Apparently being dead raised politeness standards in people or something. For me, being polite was...um...not biting someone in the leg, I guess.

__...next time, try harder. Now, second on the agenda: straighten up your act!__

I made a face. "Why bother? There's no one else even on the planet!"

__No, you're wrong.__

Oh, was I? Hehehe, that could be fun...a defenseless little 'bot to torture once I was put back together...first I'd rip off his--

__Stop that RIGHT NOW.__

--no, check that, first I'd whimper in pain for a while. "Ouch!"

__No more torturing people, Rampage.__

Head really hurts ow ow ow ow I hate you stupid conscience ow head really really hurts ow ow ow Ow Ow OW!! When this stops I'm going to find a way to kill you slowly and painfully--

__I SAID, no more torturing people!__

"OUCH! ENOUGH, already! I get the point!" I have to think more quietly, that's all. Oooooh, but my head hurt worse then when I'd woken up from being disintegrated...and there went all the fish again. *sigh*

__Oh, shut up, you pansy. I've taken worse and kept fighting!__

Somehow I really doubted that. "When did YOU ever have a ghost in your head causing pain? And how did you do that, anyway?" Maybe next time I'd be able to stop him...ow...

__I stimulated all the nerve centers in your head. Get me really angry, and I'll do it to your entire body. Do we understand each other?__

"No..."

__Then I'll just have to demonstrate--__

"...but I'm beginning to get the idea!!"

__Well, good for you.__

That's one thing they never tell you in stories about being possessed by a ghost: they're smug little see-through people. Ever heard Dinobot chuckle? I didn't particularly like it. It made my headache worse.

__I am not possessing you!__

I eyed a fish that was wandering close. My depleted systems wanted some kind of energy source in return for dragging my body back together. I also eyed the newest piece of my body edging towards me. Was that my knee? "Oh, really? Then what are you doing?"

__Call it...occupational therapy.__

I'd kill Dinobot just for his sense of humor.

__No more killing! It's not honorable!__

"OUCH!"

*sigh* There goes the fish...

"Okay, I'll bite. What's so important that I had to come HERE?" I looked around the ocean floor. Nothing but sand and fish that scattered as I talked out loud. This was the shallows along the southern coastline, which wasn't a bad place for a seafaring 'bot in my condition. Warm water and generally placid lifeforms. That was good, because I wasn't exactly in my top form. I mean, everything was present, but not all of me was attached to myself yet. Somehow my resident parasitical conscience had attracted my body parts at an amazing rate, but that hadn't given them all time to connect themselves back onto me. I was carrying most of my left arm in my subspace compartment at the moment. All in all, this was a pretty good area to sit and recover.

Somehow, I didn't get the feeling that was the reason Dinobot had insisted I pick up everything and come here. Oh, and just to make an idle note: Dinobot was everything Megatron had said and more. He constantly spouted obnoxious comments about 'honor' and 'changing you for the better', and he was actually WORSE than Megatron! Whenever I even started THINKING about what I'd like to do to the idiotic ghost, pain started shooting through my head...stupid dead raptor...

"OUCH!"

Oh, look. There go the fish again. *sigh* My systems are NOT happy with me at the moment. They need energy!

__Stop thinking things like that! It's dishonorable!__

See what I mean? Like I care if it's dishonorable--OW! Ow ow ow...

__Enough of that. Start looking around for unusual wildlife.__

"Huh?" I glanced around. Fish that were keeping a safe distance (slaggit!), various underwater plants, sand, and water. Lots of water. "Like what?"

__You'll know. Just keep looking.__

How helpful. I sighed and walked forward slowly at a painful prompting from the spook in my head. This was beyond irritating. "Why do I need a conscience, again?"

This time Dinobot seemed to decide to share some information. How blastedly nice of him. __The autho--uuuh, the Matrix is putting together a team to do a vitally important task spanning time and space.__

Oh, joy. "Like what?"

__The author's not sure ye--eh-heh, right. The Matrix hasn't told me yet. Whatever it is, the very fate of the universe hinges on your success, so the auth--er, that is, the Matrix had to put some sort of limiting factor on your bloodthirsty, murderous, homicidal, psychotic--__

"I get the point."

__--dishonorable nature.__

He had to get the last one in, didn't he... "So what's the limiting factor?"

__Me.__

"........"

__Stop banging your head against the ground. It's all sand, anyway, so you're not accomplishing anything.__

"...slag."

__Remember to keep looking for unusual wildlife. And you really shouldn't be taking this so hard. After all, you'd be dead if the autho--um, the Matrix hadn't decided to keep you alive to form this team.__

"Did I ask to be on a team? And WHAT team?!" I looked around again. "All there is around here is sand, water, and plants. I just scared all the rest of the fish away." I've really got to stop talking to the voice in my head.

__Well, all the fish except for that one over there.__

I glanced over briefly. "So what? One little manta ray isn't going to help build a team--oh, slag." The manta ray drifting through the water wasn't even looking at me, but that didn't make me any happier to see him. I started backing away carefully.

Dinobot seemed to enjoy my discomfort. __Why don't you go over and say hi?__

"Because most of my left arm isn't attached, and ALL of my weapons' systems are heavily damaged," I hissed back at him as quietly as I could. "I'm in no condition to try and kill anything but YOU at the moment!"

__Tsk, tsk. No honor.__

"OUCH!" My yelp of pain caused the manta ray to turn and look at me, and I froze, optics wide. Great. Now Depth Charge was going to transform and start firing...

...or just continue swimming.

"What the slag..?" I stared after him. Why hadn't he..? He was acting like a particularly dumb fish! Nothing new, I suppose, but I had to admit it was kind of odd. This particularly dumb fish usually tried to kill me at every opportunity... "What's wrong with him?" I asked the resident representation of the Matrix (there was something strange about the way Dinobot kept stumbling over that...).

__Remember the explosion?__

I winced. "Intimately."

__Heh. You have an immortal spark that's repairing all your systems. But Depth Charge was at point blank range...__

"And his systems are damaged. Right."

__Not precisely. Mostly just his neurocircuitry.__

I began to laugh softly. "So Fish Face...is just a fish! Oh, that's perfect!" My legs abruptly refused to support me as my laughter jarred loosely attached body parts painfully, and I collapsed to the sand laughing uncontrollably. After all this time being tracked down by him... "Poor Depth Charge; doomed to live out the rest of his days as just another animal!"

__Again, not precisely. In theory, his systems should begin to repair his neurocircuitry. It's just uncertain how long it'll take.__

"S-so..." I had to stop for a moment to chuckle. "So Depth Charge is going to wake up some day? That's too bad...but meanwhile, this is hilarious! Hehehe, it was worth traveling all this way half-crippled just to see this...heehehehehe..."

__Yep. Meet your new teammate.__

"Heheh--WHAT?!?!"

__He's going to recover, and he'd be a very useful part of any team out to save the universe, so you're going to bring him along with you.__

"He wants to save the universe? Good. He can take my place. I DON'T want to save the universe. I DON'T want to be a part of any team, ESPECIALLY one with HIM in it. In fact, of the two, universe and team...well, I'd just prefer to kill them all." Blunt is always better. Who wants to be a hero? NOT ME!

__That's not very honorable of you.__

I winced, expecting a jolt of pain through my head. Instead, Dinobot projected an air of patience, like he was dealing with a fool. Grrrrr...

__Stop that. And you seem to be assuming a couple things.__

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

__For one thing: who said that saving the universe had to be an unpleasant thing?__

"Look, I don't do the hero thing. That's for MAXIMALS. I go out and kill as many people, places, and things as I can."

__You'll probably end up being in charge.__

That'll be a change. "Will you still be in my head?"

__...most likely. You're too violent of a person to lead a universe-saving team alone.__

Not enough of a change, obviously. "Forget it, then." A thought occurred to me. "Hey, if I'm such a lousy guy, why would I be leading?"

__The author likes you.__

"HUH?!?"

__Oops! Uh, the Matrix chose you. It, um, didn't tell me why.__

I blinked, trying to sort that out. I gave that up when I realized doing that was making me even more confused. "No. I'm not doing it."

__You'll probably get to intimidate, beat up, kill, or do them all to whoever we have to save the universe from.__

Tempting, but... "Nope. I don't do the hero thing. Go find a Maximal. I volunteer Depth Charge. He doesn't even have a brain to interfere with your plans right now. Perfect hero material!" I looked over to where the ray was still swimming, and I sniggered. I know it's a natural thing for manta rays to do while feeding, but seeing my enemy with his mouth wide open trolling for plankton was funny! "I'm not going to do it. What's the other thing I was assuming?"

__That you have a choice in the matter.__

NOW a jolt of pain went through my head--and then I couldn't control my body! My one attached arm reached for Depth Charge, who turned and fled as my body hobbled after him.

__What's going on?!?!__ I yelled, then realized that I hadn't said it out loud. A growling laugh WAS audible, though...and that wasn't my voice.

Oh. No.

Dinobot was controlling my body.

"How'd you like to be like Starscream, Rampage?" he said conversationally as he cut off the ray's path and turned him towards the shore. "No body...just wandering endlessly..."

*gulp*

I'm not afraid of anything, okay? Frankly, I haven't got a clue what the emotion 'fear' feels like for myself, even though I love feeling it in others. But ending up like Starscream has always been a nightmare of mine. It's something I want to avoid at all costs, and I'm just lucky Megatron never figured that out. I mean, how could I cause fear and pain in others if I don't have a body?! What'll I do--pop up and scare them as a ghost? End up like Dinobot, working for the Matrix?

Ugh. Talk about a fate worse than death.

"I heard that." Dinobot didn't appear to be irritated as he continued herding Depth Charge into shallower water. The ray seemed to be very distressed by that, and he kept turning and trying to swim around my body. Dinobot cut him off each time, but pretty soon the water was so shallow he could just reach out and grab the ray. He carried him up to the shore and put him in a deep tidepool.

__Ummmm...can I have my body back now?__ Being a passenger in my own body was making me very nervous...nothing like feeling helpless to top off the worst day of my life. Although, seeing Depth Charge like this was helping. He was bumping his head into the sides of the tidepool...heeheehehehe...

"Are you going to cooperate?"

I gritted mental teeth since I couldn't control my own. Dinobot had bypassed 'smug' and gone right into 'gloating'. No one had ever mentioned ghosts being like THIS! Where's the honor in that?!

He laughed out loud, then abruptly sobered. "Are you going to cooperate with the team and save the universe, or do I throw you out and use your body in your stead?!"

I was really tempted to tell him 'no' just to spite him...

"If you want..."

...but I didn't! I didn't! I'll save the universe, slaggit!

"Heh."

Honorable raptor, yeah, right. "I hate you," I said, then sighed in relief. I was back in control!

__Ahem.__

Er, yeah.

I looked down at the manta ray banging around in the tidepool and scowled. I really, really wanted to just kill him. But noooooo. I had to keep him around. *sigh* "The tide will set him loose again, you realize."

__Yeah. This is just a temporary measure.__

"So where's the rest of the team?" I glanced around sarcastically. "How about that seagull over there? Maybe the crab grass?"

__The next member is on her way. She'll be on the other side of the dunes, so find a way to keep Depth Charge here and go meet her.__

Oh, joy. I looked around again, then chuckled. I bent down and picked the ray up by his tail with my good arm and walked towards a twisted tree past the tide line. Depth Charge flopped around as I tied his tail around a limb. "There. That should hold him for a while."

__He'll die out of water!__

I suppressed the urge to say 'so what?' because I already had a headache. "He's got air intakes along with his beast mode's gills, Dead-bot. He'll be fine."

__Don't call me that! And he's relying on animal instincts; he won't be able to activate his air intakes!__

I watched the ray's flopping get steadily weaker. "Nah. His survival programs will kick in."

Flop, flop...flop......flop...........flop................................

Hmmm, maybe Dinobot was right. Oh, well. Too bad; how sad. Hehehe.

Suddenly the ray gasped. And continued breathing. Slag.

"Told you," I said casually, turning to walk up the dunes.

__Riiiiiiight.__

There was a big swirl of pink and yellow in sky. I couldn't tell if it had a purpose or not. Was this my new teammate? It sure didn't look like anything much...I stood underneath it and squinted upwards. Nope. Still looked like a big swirl of pink and yellow with no purpose. And staring at it was making me feel slightly nauseous.

__Just be patient.__

"Whatever." I looked away from the swirl to check the area out. Nothing but sand dunes and some gulls. How boring. I wished something would happen...

"AAaaaa--" *THUD!*

__Your wish is granted.__

I spat sand and coughed to clear my air intakes before trying to get up. Whoever had landed on me was light enough that I was able to. The pink and yellow swirl was gone. Looking down, I realized why. "You're kidding me, right?"

The newest team member looked back at me with wide green eyes. "You're, like, a robot!" She giggled ditzily. "That's, like, so cool!"

__Nope, I'm not kidding. Meet your newest team mate.__

She smiled. It was a sweet smile that proclaimed her an airhead. Needless to say, she was a human. Now I knew why Megatron wanted to destroy them. "Like, robot, why're you doing that?"

"......."

__And stop banging your head against the ground; we've gone through this already: sand isn't hard enough to hurt. Be polite. Introduce yourself.__

I got up again and glared down at her. She was crossing her eyes at me. "What are you, brain damaged?"

__A-HEM.__

Hey, that was polite. For me. I hadn't immediately tried to kill her, now had I? I'm improving, aren't I?

__Be more polite, or I'll hurt you.__

There's just no pleasing dead people. "I'm Rampage. Who're you?"

She giggled again. That sound was really grating on me, and I'd only heard it twice. This day was NOT looking up. "I'm, like, Marisa, and you're, like, really tall. Is that, like, a real seagull?" Marisa pointed at a seagull, and I sighed.

__No, you can't kill her.__

Dinobot had to repeat that 49 more times (a total of 50 times) between the spot where the pink and yellow swirl had been and where I had left Depth Charge. Marisa was fascinated by the sand, the birds, the ocean, and as far as I could tell, everything else up to and including the sky. I had to wonder if all humans were like her, but then I thought that it wasn't likely the race would have survived this long if that was true. And she would NOT. SHUT. UP.

"So then I was, like, sitting there in my room wishing I could be like all those guys in, like, the comic books, ya know? X-Men, ya know? Oh, they've got hot guys like Gambit and Wolverine and--and--all those women, like, all have perky breasts and super powers, and, like, what more is there in life?" She sighed dreamily as Dinobot threatened me with disembodiment to keep me from just braining her. I busied myself with unloading my subspace compartment of my body parts instead, twitching a bit as she resumed talking. "Like, anyway. I was sitting there, and, like, POW! Suddenly I was, like, sucked through this big pink and yellow whirly-gig thing that TOTALLY clashed with, like, my room, and then there was this weird, like, lady? She, like, gave me these AWESOME powers, robot--"

"Rampage. My name is RAMPAGE." I really, really, really just wanted to reach out and crush her--

__No, you can't kill her.__

That makes 51 times.

"--oh, right, Rampage. So, like, what was I saying?"

"Nothing?" I put in hopefully, letting my body continue healing itself.

"Say, doesn't that, like, hurt?"

I glared at her. "Yes."

It seemed to shut her up for a minute, but then she appeared to discover her train of thoughtlessness again. I could almost here the breeze whistling though her head... "Well, like, ANYWAY. This weirdo lady was, like, talking to me? And she, like, offered me these cool powers if I'd just come here and, like, join a team that was trying to, um, save this 'universe' thing, and I was like, 'DUDE! Yeah!' and she was like, 'Great! Now you're a little bit of a telepath and a teleporter' and I was like, 'Totally cool! Do I get a new body to, like, go with it?' and she was like, 'Sure' and I was like, 'Aw, man! Cool!' and she was like, 'Okay, now beat it' and then I, like, FELL on you, Rampage! So, like, um," she glanced around, "where's, like, the rest of the team?"

I'm gonna--

__No, you can't kill her.__

52 times.

"We have to go find them," I told her grudgingly, getting up to go untie Depth Charge from the tree. I snarled as Marisa followed me, still chattering.

"This is, like, sooo cool! I got perky breasts and super powers, and, like, now we've got, like, a mission!" She twirled around, arms outstretched. She must have been trying to show off her 'perky breasts'. Big deal. Blackarachnia put her to shame. Although Marisa did have long multi-colored hair and a mask, which was different.

__Note the red shirt.__

"Huh?" I half turned to look at the human. Sure enough, she was wearing a red shirt made of some form-fitting, stretchy material. The rest of her was in black pants made of the same stuff. Something about it repelled me. Well, besides the fact that she was wearing it.

"Like, Rampage!"

"What?" I moaned. Why wouldn't she just SHUT UP?!?!?!

"Are we, like, superheroes now?"

Dinobot chortled in my mind. I growled, "Yes."

"Then you gotta, like, get with it!" I glanced back at her only to see her grinning. Argh. "Superheroes all gotta, like, wear the official fabric! Like mine!"

"Does it suck all their brains out like it did yours?" I muttered under my breath, untying the ray's tail. He flopped around, trying to get free.

__Be nice. She's your transportation system.__

I am NOT nice.

Marisa frowned cutely (and brainlessly) and stomped her foot as I continued ignoring her. "Like, get some spandex!"

Depth Charge gave a particularly large flop at that moment, and I just went with the flow. Transmetal manta rays weigh far more than normal manta rays. Marisa made a popping sound as he landed on her.

I laughed. When I could speak coherently, I wheezed, "Robots don't wear spandex," to her remains. "That's for HEROES."

Oddly enough, Dinobot chuckled. I hadn't expected that. __No, you can't kill her.__

That makes 53 times he's repeated himself. "Obviously, I just did."

__No you didn't.__

"You're in denial."

__Didn't you note the red shirt? She's an expendable extra. The autho--I mean, the Matrix added her because every cheesy fic--uh, every universe-saving team needs one. But she's kind of necessary because of her teleporting abilities, and the autho--er, the Matrix doesn't like creating charact--um, people just to kill them off.__

I decided not to think about that explanation very hard and just stick with the hard facts. "That doesn't change her being dead."

__Wanna bet?__

Suddenly a pink and yellow swirl appeared above me. A feeling of dread filled me at a descending shriek. "AAAAaaa--" *THUD!* "Hey, hello again, Rampage!!" I spat sand and coughed, then looked up into wide green eyes and screamed. Marisa smiled back ditzily. "Like, that big fish really hurt, like, when it landed on me, but I'm, like, okay now."

I put my head back down into the sand and whimpered. "This day is only getting worse..."

Dinobot chuckled smugly. Marisa giggled. Depth Charge flopped around on the sand where the human's body had been a moment before.

And this was only PART of the team I had to save the universe with?!

Coming Soon!! (if I get feedback about this--I'm not writing it if nobody's interested!) Reluctant Heroes: Robots Shouldn't Wear Spandex. Rampage continues to be harassed by Dinobot's ghost and dragged along as he reluctantly discovers the rest of his team and (maybe) the threat to the universe!

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