"If Only Time Stood Still"



Title: "If Only Time Stood Still"
Author: Emony (ro_laren@my-deja.com)
Series: DS9 (way, way after WYLB)
Rated: PG
Characters: Odo
Summary: Odo reflects over Kira's grave.

*Disclaimer: Odo, Kira, and changelings in general belong to Paramount. The author does not intend to infringe, only to pay tribute. No profit will be made by posting this story.

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The emerald plains of Bajor surround me as I make the sojourn to your resting place. The sky cerulean blue with not a hint of cloud, the sun shining gloriously, a perfect, beautiful day. Paling in comparison to the beauty now contained in it's soil, but beautiful enough.

If only I could enjoy the glory of this place, this day, where so many others live carefree and happy. Those that you fought for, and in the end, that you died for.

But my day, and those for the rest of my existence, is dark and cold.

The marble that marks your place in the earth is stark white, perhaps bleached in the sun of many other days such as this. I run a hand over the letters, blacker than night, that can never hope to express the real person behind the name scrawled on the stone. The person imprisoned now forever in the earth.

You would tell me you are with the Prophets now, if you could speak to me. I only wish I believed that I would join you with those Prophets one day. But I am somewhat of a god myself, and I don't think your Prophets would have me. I only hope you will be happy, wherever they've taken you.

You always hated flowers, so it is with a wry smile that I lay these near the stone. It seems the thing to do, as I must leave something to show you I came.

Nerys . . . if only I hadn't left you. The Great Link was where I belonged, it was my home, but that wasn't worth the loss of your companionship.

If only I'd come back to you. But my people needed to learn from me, and there was so much to teach. Time stood still for me there.

I guess it didn't stand still for you.

There are things about me that set me far apart from the other Changelings . . . ones you knew well. I have a new one to add to the list . . . I am the only Changeling ever to mourn.

I know now why my people do not involve themselves in the lives of solids. It is not because you are inconsequential, because you alone played the most pivotal role in my life.

It is because of this, dearest Nerys: the life of a Changeling is nearly endless . . . time has almost no meaning at all. But you, you solids, leave us after too short a time. Then, time becomes meaningful. The near eternity that a Changeling lives is spent tormented by longing for a person who will never exist again.

At least, it is that way for this Changeling.

I leave you now, though I feel I should sit vigil a thousand years to make up for the years I robbed you of, robbed myself of. Precious time . . . lost forever, and I only now realize it.

I never stopped loving you a day, and rest assured that you will live for many years more in my memory. I will tell everyone I can how magnificent a creature you were, you still are, in my mind.

Rest well, you deserve it.

I will never rest as well again.

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*As always, feedback is much desired and appreciated.


Email: ro_laren@my-deja.com