Last Chapters (8 - 9)

Mish slumped herself into the pilot's seat and grumbled under her breath. It went something like this: 'Vitrum Cimex, stupid woman, Glass Prowler...complain...mumble...complain...grr ....' and the rest was far too impolite to repeat in pleasant society. "Why do we always end up looking for her?" Mish demanded to know.

"We just do. Accept it, Mish," Kat said from the doorway (is that what they're even called in ships? The Author doesn't know....) since Claire had taken over her co-pilot's seat.
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"I can't accept it, damnitKatrin! I hate the darned sithspit rancor of a woman!" Mish replied vehemently.

"Did you say damn and then darn for a reason?" Kat asked, trying to distract her partner (and that's in the non-dodgy way, for any WAASers reading.)

"I dunno." Mish was distracted. "Did I really?" She turned her attention to the control panel. "Anyone know the coordinates for Stornial?"

"Dude, Mish, we were just there in the last bit of the last book! For crying out loud!" Kat cried out loud.

Claire turned in the copilots seat and recited a string of coordinates. In response to Mish and Kat's 'what the heck?' looks, she grinned smugly and said, "I have a trick memory. A bit like Lara's."

Kat began grinning for no apparent reason.

"Cool. Cheers one-who-looks-to-be-a-good-co-pilot Claire," Mish answered, shrugging.

Claire sat back and looked pleased with herself.

"Are you saying I'm not a good co-pilot?" Kat asked, affronted.

Claire wondered whether this might be a good time to visit the 'fresher.

"Did I say that?" Mish asked. "Does anyone know what I did with my Indiana Jones hat?"

"You gave it to Darillian," Kat reminded her.

"No way?!" Mish replied. "I gotta get a new one . . . Although he looks pretty hot in it. . ." She went off into Fantasy Land for several moments.

Kat sighed at Mish's tangent-nessness.

Claire picured this and merrily followed Mish.

Kat sighed, figured she might as well go too, and followed Mish and Claire.

"Time for a Lomin Ale, methinks," Mish decided, and jumped up, and exited the cockpit.

Claire started to follow, before thinking that leaving the cockpit might not be such a good idea. So she put her feet up on the controls and waited for Mish to return.

"Um, Mish? Weren't you flying us to Storinal?" When Mish didn't answer Kat, she took the pilot's seat. "Nice," she commented.

Mish re-entered the cockpit later, with a bottle of Lomin Ale. Since Kat had acquired her chair, she glared at her for a moment, then at Claire, and then turned around and headed back to the lounge. She wondered where she'd left her stash of Face Loran holos last time Darillian had been looking over them with a far-away-flashback / nostalgic look in his eyes.

"Hey, Mish, watching Live or Die?" Kat called.

Mish thought for a moment. "Uhm, yeah?" she ventured, unsure if this was the name of Face's holo or Cowall's one which she always mixed up, 'cause of Live and Let Die.

Kat burst out laughing.

Claire groaned. She hated Tetran Cowall with a passion.

"Wrong choice?" Mish ventured again.

"Yep!" Kat sing-songed.

"Damnation," Mish replied. She rubbed her hands together in Evil Super Villan Style (she'd learnt this from Darillian). "I'll get you for that, if it's the last thing I do," she muttered.

"No, you won't," Kat told her.

"Yeah, I will." Mish said, re-entering the cockpit, shaking the Lomin Ale bottle, and spraying the liquid all over Kat.

Claire wondered why Mish was wasting perfectly good lomin ale when there was water in the taps. (ANSWER: 'Cause water doesn't fizz, and Lomin Ale does.)

"Mish! I'll kill you!" Kat yelled.

"I don't believe you," Mish said innocently.

"Oh yeah?" Kat got out her blaster.

"Meep," exclaimed Mish, going puppy-dog-eyed.

"OK!! Right!!" Claire yelled, jumping up and seperating the two.

"Oh, man, I was going to have one of those signs that say 'BANG' come out of it!" Kat pouted.

"Behave! I for one, would like to get to Storinal in one piece. um... why are we going there, again?" Claire tilted her head to one side and looked at Kat.

"To rid the universe of Vitrum Cimex once and for all," Mish said murderously.

"We gotta kill... uh, find Cimex," Kat explained.

"Does Claire even know who Cimex is?" Mish asked Kat.

"Does she?" Kat asked back.

 "I don't know," Mish replied, and turned. "Claire? Do you know if you know who Vitrum Cimex is?"

Claire looked blank. "Should I?"

"Well, maybe not, since you weren't in the last adventure," Kat commented.

Claire wondered whether she'd be able to persaude Darillian to tell her the story, if they ever got back. . . but then looked at Mish's blaster and reconsidered.

"But if you know your into insectologists, you might have," Mish added.

"Mish, you're not making sense again," Kat whispered.

'Isn't she an insectologist?" Mish whispered back. "I think I may have lost the plot if she wasn't... why did we go find her?"

"You said 'But if you know your into insectologists,' which doesn't make any sense," Kat explained.

Claire sat back and waited for the mud to clear.

"That's probably because The Author wrote something then reconsidered, then re-wrote it, and then forgot to re-read it, so it didn't make sense at all," Mish rationalised with a shrug.

"The Author made you say that, didn't she," Kat guessed.

"I think she did," Mish said. "I am but a pawn in the great Game Of Life."

"The Wheel of Time?" Kat asked.

"The what?" Mish replied. "I think it was a quote from Blazing Saddles, actually."

Claire wondered whether she could get through a paragraph without the authors making her wonder something. Obviously not.

"So are we going to Storinal yet?" Kat asked.

"What she said." Claire gestured at Kat.

"Sure." Mish keyed in the autopilot, and then looked at Claire and Kat's faces. "Whaaat?"

"You're unbelievable," Kat said, out of the blue.

Mish was reminded of a song - she didn't know who it was by, or what the words were, but it went, 'you're just so unbelieveable...' and then went on like that. She wondered what it was all about, and if anyone could tell her (answers on a postcard, please).

"How long is it to Storinal?" Kat asked.

Mish sounded slightly annoyed (probably as a result of that whole song thing), "I don't know. Ask Eddie!" She went back into the lounge and started watching The Black Bantha 'cause she knew that had Face in it, so :-P

"Eddie's not in this!" Kat called.

"Eddie's in the space-time continuum!" yelled Claire. (She couldn't help herself).

"We'll be there as soon as you see the first red bus!" Mish shouted back.

Kat wondered if maybe the chapter could fade out soon.

The Chapter Faded Out.

The [I]Millennium Falcon[/I]-type ship was halfway to Storinal when the comm unit beeped, signaling an incoming call. “I’ll get it!” yelled Mish. [I]The Black Bantha[/I] had just ended and she had nothing to do, as Kat was in the pilot’s seat and Claire was in the co-pilot’s seat. The ship was running on autopilot, but it was the principle of the thing.

"Good evening, Katrinair, how may I help you on this fine sunny day?" Mish answered in her best secretary voice.

There was a pause, and then a voice came over the comm unit. “Do I have the right number? I’m looking for Taryn and Aliah.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, that’s us. Becca?” Mish asked, as Becca and her fellow Dathomirians were the only ones who knew her and Kat as Taryn and Aliah.

"Yeah, that's me... I think" Becca said. "Lemme check." Some background noise. "Yep, it's me alright."

"Heya! What's up?" Mish asked. "Hey, Claire, Kat, it's Becca!"

“Who’s Becca?” Claire asked, as she hadn’t been in the last book of the TPC.

As Kat explained, Mish talked to Becca. “So, what’s up?” she asked cheerfully, pleased to have something to do.

“I’m supposed to invite you to Thyferra for Bryn’s and Danny’s wedding,” Becca explained.

"Bryn? And Danny?" Mish blinked. "Hey, Bryn and Danny are getting hitched!"

"Who're they?" Claire asked.

Mish looked at her, "Haven't you read the Ton Phanan Chronicles One?"

“I’ll explain later,” Kat told Claire diplomatically. “So, when are they getting married? Are we invited? And since when does Becca know Bryn and Danny?”

"All good points." Mish said. "Shes getting married and we're invited. Tis all I know."

“Well, where do we have to be and when?” Kat asked.

"Where do we have to be and when?" Mish relayed to the comm.

“Be on Thyferra ASAP,” Becca instructed her.

“On Thyferra, ASAP,” Mish let Kat know.

"How can you get married ASAP?" Claire asked. "I dunno what day of the week that is."

"At least it's not Thursday," Kat said.

"Yeah," Mish continued, "I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

“Anyway,” Becca interrupted, “can you get to Thyferra soon? Please?

“Oh, sure,” Mish replied. “Claire, could you turn the ship around to Thyferra, please?” she called.

“Oh, that’s right. Ask Claire, not me, not your best friend. It’s not like I can pilot a ship or anything,” Kat muttered bitterly.

"I'm sorry Kat!" Mish said, and threw herself at Kat's feet. "Will you ever forgive me?" she asked melodramatically, clinging on to her trousers.

Kat sighed at Mish’s melodrama. “Oh, go talk to Becca. I’m just edgy because I miss Ton.” She sighed deeply, heart-wrenchingly.

“Okay, we’re turned around,” Claire said, unaffected by Kat’s bout of lovestruck melancholy.

"That's so sweet," Mish said. "Awwww. Kat's in love."

“Oh, shut up,” Kat snapped. “And didn’t I tell you to talk to Becca? Holonet calls aren’t free, you know!”

"She's paying for it," Mish said, with a grin, then talked to Becca. "How's everyone?"

“Ton and Darillian are bickering, Bryn and Daniel are all over each other, and Lievel’s making me some shortbread. And how are you guys?”

"Kat's melancholy 'cause she misses Ton, Claire's not wearing her red dress anymore, and I'm thinking of watching another FaceFilm... Is Zurel okay?" Mish added, as an after thought, dreamily.

“He’s fine,” Becca said. “Now, tell me, how could you fall for a guy with the name ‘Zurel’? I’m just wondering.”

"It's not a crappy name, is it?" Mish asked, slightly confuzzled. Darillian's Mind Controlling For Beginners book he'd got for Christmas had obviously worked.

“Umm… sure,” Becca replied. “Anyway, when are you going to be on Thyferra?” she asked.

“When are we going to be on Thyferra?” Mish relayed the question to Claire.

Claire shrugged. "When're we going to be on Thyferra?" She relayed the question to Kat.

Kat shrugged, "When are we going to be on Thyferra?" She relayed the question to Mish.

Mish shrugged. "As soon as we see the first red bus." She said to Becca.

Becca sighed. “Okay, see ya then.”

"Groovy," Mish said.

* * *

The first thing Kat noticed when she got off the [I]Millennium Falcon[/I]-esque ship was the oppressive, humid heat. “Aw, man!” she complained. “Why couldn’t Bryn and Danny have gotten married somewhere with a nice climate, huh? Huh?”

"It's okay." Mish said. "But Hoth was nicer."

“You hated Hoth,” Kat reminded her.

“Oh, shut up,” Mish said, reverting to the policy of ‘When in doubt, change the subject.’ “So, where do you think Zurel and Ton are?”

"Probably on a ship somewhere," Claire said.

“No, they were already here, weren't they?" Mish asked. "I dunno. You know, we should probably go look for them."

"Is that such a good idea?" Claire asked. "I mean, it's all huge and big and jungle-y out there."

"Pah. I laugh in the face of danger," Mish said. "Annnd then I hide until it goes away."

Kat snickered at the banter. “Okay, it’s not that bad. So let’s go look for them. If you were Ton, loose on Thyferra, where would you go?” she asked.

Before Mish or Claire could reply – either to give an answer or to tell Kat she was thoroughly obsessed with Ton – a familiar voice called out, “Yoo-hoo!”

“Bryn,” Kat and Mish said in unison.

“Who?” Claire asked.

"Bryn. The person who's going to marry Danny!" Mish explained. "How're ya?"

“Oh, I’m fine. Just dandy.” Bryn was grinning hugely, which was understandable, as she was engaged to be married to one of the hottest guys who ever lived.  “How are you guys?”

"We're looking for Ton." Kat said.

“And Zurel,” Mish added. She didn’t notice any of the other women wince at what was surely one of the worst names ever. “Know where they are?” she continued.

“Oh, they’re off somewhere,” Bryn said with a random wave of her hand. “I was wondering if you two wanted to be my bridesmaids. Oh,” she said, looking at Claire, “who are you?”

"I'm Claire." Claire said in a Of Course You Know Who I Am, Stupid voice. Mish was impressed with this voice, but was looking for Darillian, so didn't really notice.

“Oh. Right,” Bryn said, feeling stupid for not knowing who Claire was.  “Anyway, will you be my bridesmaids? Please? Ton and Darillian are Danny’s groomsmen, or, at least, they will be once Danny talks them into it. They can be kind of stubborn, you know.”

"Do I have to wear a dress?" Mish's left eyebrow shot skywards.

Bryn shrugged. “I don’t really care. To be honest, the wedding is just a means to get to the wedding night.”

Kat snerked. “Nice, Bryn. Nice!” she said with a wide grin.

"Whey-hey. I don't have to wear a dress. In that case, yeah, sure. And is this fic PG, or what?" Mish wagged her finger at Bryn.

"Aw, man." Claire said, looking downwards. "It is?"

Mish shrugged.

“Okay, now that that’s out of the way, Ton?” Kat said hopefully.

"Sorting things out with Katrielle, I think." Bryn said. "That's where Danny is."

“Who’s Katrielle?” Kat asked.

“She’s the High Priestess. She’s marrying Danny and me.”

"So why are we waiting here?" Mish asked. "If Darillian's elsewhere?"

“And Ton,” Kat added. “Move out!”

"That's SO my line," Mish said.