Five-Minute "Projections"
Doc: What's going on?
Computer: The crew ran off and left you here.
Doc: Nuts. Guess I'd better delete myself.
B'Elanna: Wait! The captain needs help.
Doc: You mean medical help? She could use a few other kinds.
Doc: Wow, this bridge is big.
Janeway: Thanks for saving me.
Neelix: Now save me!
Kazon: DIE! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIE--
Doc: Ain't gonna happen, scuzzbag.
Kazon: Ow! That hurt!
Doc: You're bleeding.
Neelix: No, you are.
Doc: Uh oh.
Doc: My tricorder says I'm people and you're not.
Janeway: Bad tricorder! Computer, deactivate all the holograms. AAAGHH!
Doc: Well, isn't that ironic?
Doc: That does it! Who am I?
Computer: Some Zimmerman guy.
Doc: Huh?
Barclay: I'm some Barclay guy! We've gotta get you out of here!
Barclay: You're a real person.
Doc: That's good.
Barclay: But you're dying.
Doc: That's bad.
Barclay: But you can save yourself.
Doc: That's good.
Barclay: But you have to blow up the ship.
Doc: That's bad.
Barclay: But it's all a simulation.
Doc: That's good because I get to delete Tom Paris.
Janeway: What are you doing here? You're under arrest!
Doc: Bite me. Bye!
Barclay: ...so when you shot that panel, all the subholograms within the holographic Voyager got deleted.
Doc: My head hurts.
Chakotay: He's lying! It's actually an anomaly that fried your systems!
Doc: Now it really hurts.
Kes: Hi, honey. I'm your wife.
Doc: Now it hurts even more! Screw this, I'll just die.
Kes: Don't die, honey! I love you!
Doc: You're cute. Bye!
Harry: He's back!
Doc: Whoa! What's going on?
Tuvok: Nothing much. It's been a kinda boring day.
Doc: Sorry I called you cute.
Kes: What, don't you love me?
Doc: Uh...um...er...no....
Kes: There goes our marriage.
Doc: Stop that! My head's hurting again!
Barclay: Save yourself!
Kazon: Don't save yourself!
Kes: Waaa!
Doc: Everybody shut up!
Janeway: Welcome back, Doc!
Doc: Am I back for real this time?
Janeway: Yep.
Doc: And I'm not married to Kes, right?
Janeway: Nope.
Doc: Damn.
Doc: So what was all that about, anyway?
Kes: Beats me.
Doc: Me too. Oh well.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed.)
THE END
Previous fiver: Time and Again
Next fiver: Meld
Back to the Episodes page
Haven't seen the episode? Jim Wright's synopsis should get you up to speed.
DISCLAIMER: An awful lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intention isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. Don't sue.
