(c) 2000 Jeannette R. Jaquish
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Reminder: These are excerpts!
SCENE 2: The Castle
QUEEN (while whacking Butler):
The moat is a mess!
It needs a good scrubbing!
The yard boy was napping!
He needs a good drubbing!
(Whacks BUTLER)
Stand straight! You have the posture of an ape!
(Walking away)
Maybe shingling the North Tower will get you in shape!
(later excerpt)
(BUTLER ENTERS with food platters and tea pot.)
BUTLER: So sorry, Royal Queen. Here are your scones.
Butter, jam and jellied fish,
(simpering) I picked out the bones.
QUEEN: (whacking him) I don’t need the details of each culinary dissection!
Eeek! Wash your hands! You’ll give us all infection!
(later excerpt)
(PRINCESS runs behind QUEEN to try to grab FROG who dives under table.)
QUEEN: What?? Where are you going? You haven’t eaten a bite!
PRINCESS: So excited about the Harvest Ball, Mother. Lost my appetite!
And WHOOPS! Lost my bracelet! Fell on the floor!
(PRINCESS dives under table concealed by tablecloth. FROG puppeteer gives PRINCESS the puppet. Puppeteer grabs two table legs and wobbles table as PRINCESS crawls around, letting her feet show from under the tablecloth and making grunting sounds of frustration as if she is chasing the frog. Puppeteer makes occasional “Krrrbitt” sounds.)
QUEEN: Whooop! Something cold grabbed my knees!
That’s my leg, Conceita, that you’ve taken ahold!
(QUEEN abandons things sliding off table and jumps up from chair.)
Are you ill? Your hands are damp and cold!
Enough of this, daughter!
You come out right now.
Or I’ll call your father!
PRINCESS: (poking head out where QUEEN can’t see her.) Don’t have a cow.
(later excerpt)
FROG: (jumping onto table)
Sorry for crashing your party,
But a crime has occurred.
This sweet little princess,
Has broken her word.
QUEEN: What? Conceita! Tell me the truth!
What have you promised this frog, so uncouth?
(later excerpt)
(PRINCESS picks up fallen tea things and sits at table. FROG sits on table.)
FROG: Oh, baby, you got it made.
Shovel me some olives, and a sip o’ that lemonade.
You ever eat a fly? They’re all wiggly and dry.
Oooo-la-la! I’m gonna wallow in this blueberry pie
(later excerpt)
FROG: Snore ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
PRINCESS: (waking up and shaking him) Aaaah! I just got to sleep! And you’re snoring again!!
You are a noise little creep! Can’t you lie at the other end?
FROG: Pocket, pillow, plate.
Must your promise I repeat?
PRINCESS: Fine! OK! Great!!!
(Spins around putting feet on pillow and head at foot of bed.)
Share the pillow with my feet!
(later excerpt)
BUTLER: Great Scott! My poor bones! What’s all this string?
(sees CUPCAKE, releases him from the tangle)
Aha! The Princess’s neglected little pet. No need to sing.
I know it’s the frog you’re intending to snuff.
(toss CUPCAKE back to hidden puppeteer)
Well, tomorrow is his third day – and we’ve all had enough.
(later excerpt)
CUPCAKE: As the days passed it seemed the Princess,
(Princess twirls with frog)
Hated that horrible frog less and less,
(holds him and feeds bit from table)
At meals they would laugh, at games they would try,
(sets him on bed, covers eyes, counts to 5 while puppeteer pulls puppet down and puts it on, she looks around, FROG pops up to startle her.)
(pause until action catches up)]
The frog even taught her to capture a fly, (both snap mouths at air)
(later excerpt)
FROG: It’s a brave and honorable girl you’ve been each day,
To put up with my tricks and let me finish my stay.
It ain’t part of your promise, but would you grant me this?
Just one little…..kiss?
PRINCESS: Like this?
(bends over (or picks him up) and kisses FROG.)
FROG: groan of pain (he falls into pond)
(later excerpt)
PRINCESS: Oh, no!
Are you – Are you--- Are you the frog?
BOY: Croak! (Clears throat, removes fly (raisin or fake fly) from mouth. Croaking gradually wears off)
Fly. Yes, I was the frog. (removes more flies) More flies. Yes thank you. You saved me.
(They look at each other very shy and uncomfortable.)
PRINCESS: You’re a boy.
BOY: Yes.
PRINCESS: I kissed a boy?
BOY: I WAS a frog then.
(end of excerpts)
