Characters: Conceita, Divea Petula, Lob, Stump, Thunk, Tutor, Butler, Queen, Diplomats
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Frog Prince, Scene 1
long version: 'Tutor scene
long version: Princesses scene
THESE ARE EXCERPTS!
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TUTOR: Very nice work. I’ll grade them over the weekend. Let’s start with your recital piece again. You were a bit distracted last time.
CONCEITA: Yes, I was. But you won’t be disappointed this time.
QUEEN: Conceita! Conceita! The most wretched news. Divea and Petula have disappeared along with their escorts. Their countries’ diplomats just arrived with the news. And the worst is this: it must have happened just outside our castle gates where the road passes through that bit of forest, for no one saw them on the road beyond.
TUTOR: But they left here two days ago! That means the kidnappers could have smuggled them a hundred miles away by now!
CONCEITA: Why are we just now hearing the news?
QUEEN: Their journey to each of their kingdoms is more than a day plus stopping to spend the night. They weren’t expected home until yesterday morning. When they hadn’t arrived by noon, the diplomats and soldiers left to search the road. They arrived here without finding a trace of them.
CONCEITA: Oh, this is terrible. Boo hoo hoo. I know what’s going to happen.
QUEEN: There there, Conceita, I’m sure your friends won’t be harmed.
TUTOR: The kidnappers have to keep them in good health to collect the ransom.
CONCEITA: The Harvest Ball will be cancelled and I won’t get to be Grand Hostess Predicate!
(QUEEN & TUTOR are shocked.)
QUEEN: I must get back to the diplomats. They are very upset and full of suspicions. Conceita, I find your selfish lack of feeling for the well being of others, shocking.
(BUTLER ENTERS. QUEEN whacks him.) What are you doing here! Get back to work!
(QUEEN & BUTLER EXIT)
TUTOR: Everything has changed, Conceita. You must excuse me today. I must ride with all haste to the other kingdoms to give warning and try to soothe their militaristic reactions. Conceita, please check the weather for me. Do you see storm clouds in either direction?
CONCEITA: No, skies are blue all around. Wind from the west – Ouch! (Rock is thrown in window hitting her.)
Who threw this – Professor! It’s Divea and Petula! They’re hiding in the azaleas below the window.
TUTOR: Holler to your mother that you see them! Then come back and see if they need help.
(She hollers, blasting TUTOR.)
CONCEITA: MOTHER! I SEE DIVEA AND PETULA! COME UP HERE!
(back at window, gasp!)
Divea! Petula! Be careful! Look, Professor! They’re climbing the vines! Look how fast they’re climbing! Their hair is a mess. They must be escaping from someone.
(look toward doorway) MOTHER!
(looks out window) They’re almost –
(Hand reaches in, grabs her arm and yanks her, …she pulls back and we see the KIDNAPPER STUMP at the window, immediately joined by LOB, both are wearing wigs and foreign princesses’ cloaks
EXCERPTS...........................
(BORDEEN DIPLOMAT & VELGIAN DIPLOMAT ENTER. BUTLER CRADLES THE UNCONSCIOUS TUTOR.)
BORDEEN DIP: Where is Divea, the Princess of Bordeen!
VELGIAN DIP: And Petula, the Princess of Velgian! Well? Answer me! (Draws sword.)
BUTLER: Eeeeeek! I don’t know. I saw two people in their clothing. They pulled Princess Conceita out the window!
(B & V DIPLOMATS run to look out window)
BORDEEN DIP: Those young girls could not climb down from this window. Tell us the truth! (Draws sword.)
BUTLER: Eeeeek! I don’t know. The tutor was here. He saw! Wake up! (Shakes TUTOR.)
QUEEN (ENTERING): Who screamed! Is Conceita here?
(sees swords, grabs large flower bowl or chair and holds it up threateningly, standing protectively in front of BUTLER & TUTOR..)
How dare you violate our trust to invade our castle! Where have you taken my daughter?
(TUTOR begins to wake up.)
VELGIAN DIP: Balderdash! Your daughter is where you have hidden her!
BORDEEN DIP: The evidence is clear: No one on the road saw our princesses and their escorts on their return trip. It is obvious they never left this castle. Then your daughter, Conceita discovered them, wherever it is that you hold them captive. Her loud cries have revealed your deception. And so you have hidden her so we can not question her.
VELGIAN DIP: We demand to search the castle for our princesses!
BORDEEN DIP: And to speak to Princess Conceita!
QUEEN: My daughter Conceita is kidnapped! I saw her taken out the window.
TUTOR: (moan) Divea! Petula! Hurry!….
(DIPLOMATS sheath theirswords. ALL bend to listen
QUEEN: Professor, wake up! Tell us what happened.
TUTOR: (to BUTLER) Why am I in your lap?
QUEEN: You were knocked unconscious. Tell us what happened!
TUTOR: (still dizzy) What happened?…. (looks around trying to figure out where he is, gradually remembering)
Conceita saw someone she knew. Oh, it was Petula and Divea! They were climbing….. so fast…….. trying to escape. Conceita was calling to them….Oh, my head. I can’t remember……. what happened next.
QUEEN: Concussion. It knocks out the last memories.
TUTOR: (dreamy) “Be careful”, she called to them.
VELGIAN DIP: So Petula and Divea were here! We must search for them!
QUEEN: So you can kidnap even more of us? Never! It’s obvious that your two princesses lured Conceita to the window and kidnapped her! I’m placing you under arrest!
BORDEEN DIP: Two young girls kidnapped your daughter and carried her struggling down that vine?
QUEEN: Uh…..
TUTOR: Who hit me?
VELGIAN DIP: Your conspiracy is dissolving!
QUEEN: How dare you! Well, of course those little girls didn’t carry her down. They were just the lure. It must have been two men dressed in the Princesses’ clothes.
VELGIAN DIP: (silly sarcasm with anger) What? In dresses? (laughs)
BORDEEN DIP: With bustles and corsets and sparkly tiaras?
(BUTLER giggles and QUEEN glares at him.)
VELGIAN DIP: Was their hair done up so fine?
QUEEN: No!!! Ummm. It must have been their cloaks. I only saw them for a moment. It must have been two men. (gasp!) Your horsemen! (she runs to the door and looks out) I see three but you came with five! Where are the other two?
VELGIAN DIP: We came with three, and two of your escorts met us at the gates to the village and escorted us inside the castle walls.
QUEEN: We don’t send out escorts!
TUTOR: Where is Conceita?
QUEEN: Conceita! Oh! You are stalling me here while your henchmen escape with my daughter! Guards! Arrest these kidnappers!
BORDEEN DIP: To your sword, me buck, we must fight our way out. (runs to doorway, looks) The great hall is full of guards.
VELGIAN DIP: The window! If the princesses can run up it like monkeys, we can go down it like cowards!
BORDEEN DIP: Do not harm our princesses! We will take this news of your deceit to our kings and each will send his army to lay siege to your castle until they are released.
(DIPLOMATS EXIT via the window. QUEEN grabs bowl and takes aim.)
VELGIAN DIP (voice): If one hair of Princess Petula is harmed (QUEEN drops bowl) you will suffer the endless agony of --Aaaaak!
QUEEN: Ha! Got ‘im! Oh… my azaleas. Jeffers! Get the tutor to the physician. I must go tell the King of all that has happened.
(ALL EXIT)
CUPCAKE (ENTERING tangled up in trap): Someone please release me so I can go rescue the Princess! (EXITS)
(CLOSE CURTAIN)
DAY 3: THE PLOT REVEALED
(KIDNAPPERS CARRY TIEDUP CONCEITA.)
STUMP: Blimey, Lob! Can’t you keep up? It feels like I’m pulling both of you.
LOB: Is this a girl or a kangaroo we’re transportin’? She’s ‘bout to kick me off the edge of the earth!
STUMP: I’d give ‘er another thump with the club, but The Raven says she’s not the brightest candle on the cake as it is.
LOB: Is it mornin’ yet? She’s blackened both my eyes and I can barely see outta them.
STUMP: No, yeh slacker. Tis but mid afternoon. We’ve carried this tidal wave for less than an hour.
LOB: So that’s why I’m drenched with salt water. Let’s take a rest, Stump.
STUMP: Just a little farther. Oh, say, we missed our turn. See there, old chap, we’re almost there.
(They have reached other side of stage. They turn back .)
LOB: Oh, please, let us get there. If’n she bloodies my nose again I won’t have enough blood left to blush.
STUMP: Then what’ll be the fun of teasin’ yuh? Here’s the turn.
(CURTAIN OPENS and they enter Hideout. DIVEA & PETULA sit on chairs, hands tied and resting in their laps, feet and waists tied to chairs, no gags, “watched” by sleeping THUNK holding a club. Frog puppeteer can hide behind girls’ chairs.)
LOB: Get up, Thunk! Give yer seat to the lady.
(KIDNAPPERS set CONCEITA on chair and hold her from tipping. She continues to struggle.)
THUNK: I thunk yuh’d be here sooner.
STUMP: If ya thunk that why didn’t yeh thunk to cook us somethn’ to eat.
LOB: I’s thunkin’ yeh might bring somethn’.
STUMP: Well, we stopped in at the bakery but the baker said to get our kidnapped struggling princess off the counter.
LOB: Thunk, now be a good boy. Go watch from the roof? I fear we may have been followed. Pound on the roof if yeh see anyone.
THUNK: I thunk I’ll do that. (EXITS)
STUMP: Lob, yeh think we were followed?
LOB: No, but watchin’s preferable to fightin’, The Raven would say. An’ it gets Thunk out of here. Ok, now for round two. We’re going to unwrap you if you’ll let us, Princess. Otherwise you can stay in your cocoon.
STUMP: Take off the gag so she can answer.
LOB: If she bites like she kicks……
STUMP: I’ll do it. (removes CONCEITA’s gag.)
Now, will you sit nicely, like a lady? We ain’t to hit yeh in the head, but a broken leg to get your attention (pats club) isn’t out of the question.
CONCEITA: I’ll sit.
DIVEA: Conceita, are you hurt?
CONCEITA: No.
STUMP: Lob, before we unleash this tigress, we should feed these other girls. (looks in his pouch) I got a barley loaf. What do you have.
LOB: A cheese round. Well, used to be round. But I’m hungry, Stump. We gotta share with prisoners?
V
STUMP: None of us eaten since yesterday. But these two are children.
(They break their bread and cheese in two and hand to DIVEA & PETULA who wolf it down.)
PETULA: (gobbling) This tastes dreadful.
DIVEA: (gobbling) Not fit for dogs.
CONCEITA: What about me?
STUMP: You had breakfast, and a good one I’m sure.
(He starts to untie CONCEITA.)
................END OF EXCERPTS
