SPOILERS: Maternal Instinct
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:Insanity, sexual situations
SUMMARY: They're locked in a room, and they're slowly going insane…response to challenge #699
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate; it owns me. It belongs to the good, rich people from over the pond, who aren't going to sue, because I got no money from this, and I spent my last penny on a pencil so I could keep on writing.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I saw this challenge, and I had to do it, it looked so much fun. Could I have some feedback? Please? Dedicated to Jennifer Campion, who I was locked in a room with once. We were about to throttle each other, when the door got opened. So I write this from personal experience.
'Well, this is fun…'
'Fun? I wouldn't describe this as fun, exactly, Jack.'
'Well, was I supposed to say the truth? That this is my personal idea of hell, so please shoot me before the insanity takes over? I'm really enjoying being locked in a storage room? Get real.'
'Jack, I'm hurt. I really am.'
'Guys, can you all shut up? Please? I've got the worst headache. I don't suppose you have an aspirin, or something?'
'Carter, if I had aspirin, I would have committed suicide with it by now.'
'And done us all a favour…'
'Hey!' (sounds of scuffle.)
'Take that space monkey!'
'Oh? Well what about that, Colonel? I thought you had experience with fighting?'
'Guys, you're disturbing Teal'c's kel'no'reem, and you know how grouchy he gets.'
'Major Carter, they have already disturbed me. I believe this would be a good time to teach you the technique…?'
'Well, gee, that sounds fun. But, hey, last time Daniel tried something like this, didn't 2000 Jaffa get killed?'
'…'
'Oh, scary, scary withering glance there Danny boy. Would you like to speak now?'
'Sir, don't push it.'
'Push what?'
'Well, does anyone want to learn this technique?'
'I'm going. Jack?'
'Err…no, I don't think so, somehow.'
'Sam?'
'No for me too. I don't think I can with a headache like this, somehow.'
(silence) 'So… Sam. Here we are. All alone. No one to come by for ages'
'Nope, apparently not.'
(whistling) 'Sam…'
'Yes, sir?'
'Well, no one will mind, ad we can claim it on insanity…'
'Claim what on insanity?'
'Well, d'wanna have sex?'
(sound of objects crashing to floor) 'Gnee…'
'Sam? Are you ok?'
'Blruu…'
'Sam, you're scaring me now.'
'Yyrrrsslllluppp…'
'Sam, as your CO, I order you to answer!'
(pause) 'SAM! Snap out of it!'
'Hey, do you guys mind keeping it down?'
'Sorry, Daniel.' (another pause) 'Well? D'wanna or not?'
'Yeah, that sounds like fun'
SOME TIME LATER…
'OK people, let's have you-ohmigod, what the hell are you doing?'
'Could we have some privacy here people!'
'Yes sir'
'Oh, and Lieutenant?'
'Yes sir?'
'Lock the door again.'
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