CATEGORY: Humour; challenge
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:Bad, bad excuse for humour. And some Daniel whumping.
SUMMARY: Sam is struck down with something… Response to challenge #584
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I wish I did. They do belong to lots of nice people at MGM, Sci-Fi, Gekko Productions and lordy knows what else- the point is, it's not me. Please don't sue, have no money and certainly made none writing this.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:I sit here, racked with PMT, and all I can do is write fanfic and eat chocolate. Sheesh. Feedback would be nice; I need support through this troubled time…
'AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! Damn men to hell! How come they don't have to put up with this!!!'
The sounds of anger quickly changed to sobbing and back again, while the male members of SG1 listened. Daniel was laughing, and this was his mistake. The savage beast in the forest heard him, and came storming out. Daniel Jackson had faced some terrifying things in his time, but this terrified him the most.
It was Samantha Carter, looking scarier than anything he had ever encountered.
'So!!! You find this funny! Do you? Answer me!!!' Sam had been in an incredible mood all day, but going off world had amplified it.
It was the most dangerous thing on Earth, and now it was in full flood.
It was PMS.
Jack knew about this, and was preparing to make a tactical retreat. Otherwise known as running like a woman. He had been there, done that, got the bruises (well, he had been married) and knew when to leave well alone.
Daniel obviously didn't, and was therefore trying not to smirk. Jack, never leaving a teammate behind, was nearing Sam the way you would a wild animal. He reached out and offered the chocolate, which Sam snatched, but then bored down on Jack.
'DO YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE THIS BETTER WITH CHOCOLATE??!!!!? DO YOU!!!?? DO YOU!!??'
Jack was cowering down on the floor at this point, and Sam was waving the chocolate at him like a piece of evidence.
'Shows how much you know!! Some fine commanding officer you are!! I'm going through all this, and all you give is chocolate??'
Sam burst down into tears again, and ran towards her tent, eating the chocolate. Teal'c's eyebrow was about to disconnect from his face, and asked the obvious question.
'What is wrong with Major Carter?'
'PMS.' Daniel answered.
'What is this PMS? It is not something they have on Chulak.' Daniel turned to Jack, and left it to him to explain.
Teal'c was asking yet another question when a loud scream could be heard from Sam's tent. She appeared to have finished the chocolate, and was back to angry mode again. She crashed around the tent, until it came down around her face. A ridgepole banged her on the head, and she crashed to the floor.
Daniel ran over, and cautiously put a hand down to help her up. Instead of an answering hand, and tent pole reached up and met his shins with a satisfying crack. He made a noise better described as 'gnee…' and crashed to the floor.
Sam struggled out of the tent, pole at the ready, fire in her eyes. 'Who's next? Who's next?'
Teal'c and Jack were both warriors, but at the same time not very brave. They leapt into the bushes, leaving Daniel to the wrath of gorgon, and heard periodic 'ouch!' and 'hey!' and 'ARGH!!' until they found enough courage to dial home.
NEXT MORNING
'Sir, we have an incoming wormhole! SG 1 signal, sir.'
'SAM!' screamed Jack and Teal'c 'ARGH!!!'
Sam was greeted by an armed platoon. 'Good morning guys' she said cheerfully. 'What's up with you?'
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