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Jehanne
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(1/26/01 7:14:05 am)
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Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
I – Liel

Liel. He had ever named himself like that. Or, at less, since some times. It was as a part of himself wanted this name, to be called like that. It was the name he wrote at the bottom of the page in his little black diary.

He had just finished a particulary exhausting day. All the Taelons he had worked with were in a bad mood and had found something to reproach to him. The kind of day he wanted to end quickly. He would not return in Washington, not tonight. He felt tired. And lonely. So lonely. In this multitude where no one could udnerstand him.

His human ‘friends’ had always feared this dark alien side that was dormant in him. That could awake at every moments. They avoided him when he looked odd or when he acted strangly. They let him alone when he needed their help the most.

He felt so lonely. Rejected by his fellows. Never a woman had loved him, and never a woman would be able to love him. The only relationships he had tried to have, had turned into disasters. He had never truly loved a woman. Nor a man by the way. No he had not found The person he needed. He had still this attraction toward the Taelons he frequented often, but he had asked around and it seemed to be something general, that affected everyone. They were aliens after all.

He sighed. He walked through the mothership’s corridors. He had, some weeks ago, found a deserted place, thats seemed to be just an empty room. The kind of room that was put there because it needed to be put there. It had nothing in it, even not a chair or some piece of furniture. Only three purple walls that were vaguely glowing in the darkness and a virtual glass bay. It was because of that he came here after work. For the view. Sometime, he could see the Earth, the Sun and the Moon in the same look, a wonderful sight. He did not believe it had lights in there. He had never searched and, anyway, he had always had ‘cat’s eyes’.

He came here especially for calm his mind, for enjoy the few private moments he had for himself during a day. It had a small alcove in one of the corners, as a recess in the wall. Once again, it seemed to have absolutly no purpose to this part of the room. The architect who had built this vessel had put there a recess because he wanted to put there a recess. After many years of working with the Taelons, he had learned that you did not need to search very far for reason with them.

He litterally let himself fall on the floor, in the corner. His corner. He always sat at the same place, in the same position. His legs stretched out, crossed on his ankles, the arms crossed on his chest, the hands in the interior pockets of his coat, the eyes closed. The most of the time, he did the same thing. He just thought or he spoke aloud, to himself, to the walls, to non-existing persons, saying aloud in the silence his thoughts, sometimes divagating, in long without use talking.

It was his favorite place of all this damned ship. He just hoped that it was not some meeting room or a private chamber of some Taelons or Volunteers, and that one day someone would enter here and find him sat in the corner. He did not want to sleep. He promised himself that he would just let his tired eyes rest when he closed them and fell asleep some seconds later.

II – Mazorha

Slowly, she raised from her seat. She could not stand more. No, she would collapse on the ground, if she stayed in this room, working as she did, even just a second more. Mazorha got up and jumped agilely down her sur-elevated chair. Lentement, elle se leva de son siège. It had ever please her to be up to the peoples she was talking to, but it had, as all things, its disadvantages. She staggered and almost lost her balance when she landed on the floor.

The Volunteer who guarded the door bowed respectfully at her, she did not deign to return. Poor Humans, she thought, they are so ignoring that what could happen to their miserable people, so unconscious of what we, each days, risk for save their skin… and ours. She despised them so, in a way, but on the other side she felt envy toward them. Even if they were surely less evolved, they had still the capacity to reproduce and procreate.

As she let her mind wondering about that, the permanent and dull pain in her lower abdomen reminded her of its existence violently, causing her to lose her human facade for some seconds, fighting against the staggering. Fortunatly. It was worst, much worst, sometime. Mazorha could easily recall the day it had begun, when she had sensed it the first days. How much she had suffered. She had been twisting up in pain on a table in the medical bay, strapped for not hurt herself, during weeks. If Mit’gai just tried to give her some sedative, the pain became worst.

They had not helped her. They were all saying that it would end, that they had all suffered the Ka’atham’s immeasureable pain once during their life. But how they could knew that the one she experienced were worst, that it was a thousand time worst that all they could ever have felt?

She remembered perfectly the surprised looks on their face when she had exited the medical bay, looking weak but wild. She had pushed away the pain deep inside of herself. She did not kill it, she simply hid it. Hidden under this mask of coldness and hardness she now always wore. For that they knew not that she was still suffering, and that she would always be suffering.

Sometimes, she awoke from her resting state screaming and sobbing without tears. The pain was so hard that she needed to fight it with something, with her anger and screams, the only way she could fight against it. And all that she had succesfully hid it from the Commonality. Her psychics powers were strong. It had not been very hard to methodically cut all the links. To cut herself from anyone, barely keeping the needed connection for survive without regressing to the atavistic state.


Her parent had suffered from that. Yes, it’s true. And it was her fault, her only fault.

There was two parts of herself. The Taelon she presented each days to everyone, strong, harsh, cold even, of a strong temper who did not admit failure. And there was Mazorha. It was the name her parent had given her when she was a little child. Mazorha was the opposite of the other. All she had been during her childhood. Her temper, very strong, was the same it’s true. But they were very different. Mazorha represented all she would never be, what she could have been if someone had understood, all her fears, all her hopes, all her feeling she hid during a day…

Mazorha was the child hidden within her so adult like form. The child she let go out the night, locked in her room, alone. Then she took away the human mask and fell on the ground, her hands gripping her sides, fighting for not screaming. That was what her nights were.

She knew that some person, closer to her, the Taelon healer of the ship that always told her the same despairing result, or the ones who had been her friends, long ago, knew that she was like this. But they did nothing for help her. They would never do something. She was the ghost that wandered amongst her own people. They had rejected her. Why? She had ever ignored it and now did not want to know.

Mazorha knew that she was different. Or that, one day, she would be different. And that they, did not know but more sensed it, too and that they rejected her for that. She did all she could for save them from their doomed fate and it was the way they thanked her. She shook her head. Those dark thoughts must not trouble her mind.

Another wave of pain reminded to her that she neede to take some rest soon. She walked faster. She passed under the doorway of her private chamber. She had not met much curious faces on her way. Fortunatly, she did not feel ready for a diplomatic interrogatory right now. She sent a sad stare toward the chair and the rest she was waiting for. And that would wait some more time.

She would never be able to rest like that. As anyone did without problems. She firstly needed to enter in a deep transe, that she used since she was very young, that would made, for a time only, the pain reduce a bit for that she could take the rest she needed.

Mazorha let the facade fall at the second when she was completly away from any strangers’ stares after locking the door. She collapsed in the corner of the room, her long fingers pressing on her sides, trying vainly to stop the pain, her face twisted by a painful smirk.

If she did not find a mate soon, she knew not what would happen to her. She would die, without doubts. The only things that mattered was when and especially how. Never a Taelon had died from Ka’atham. She would be the first.

She vaguely sensed under her body the wall and the floor match perfectly the slight curves of her shape. She sat in this recess the ship had made so long ago. She felt so comfortable here. She breathed longly and closed her eyes, forcing herself to let her hands beside her on the purple bioslurry. But it was not like usually. At the moment she would slid in the benefactress trance that would deliver her for one night, a wave of pain as she had never felt before forced her to come back. She tried, uselessly, to keep her lips pressed together.

A long moaning escaped her throat. She sagged against the wall, the arms tightly passed around herself. She could not stop the sounds, Taelon version of sobbing, that escaped from her lips.

III – Through the wall

Liel felt slowly being escorted out of the sweet sleep world. Something had awoke him. A strange noise. He opened his eyes and saw a glowing form against the wall, on the otherside of the bioslurry. He could see that it was vaguely human in shape. A Taelon, he understood. His shoulders were moving like if he was crying. But the Taelons could not cry, or at less, not without Human DNA in their system.

Il frowned and knocked three times with the tips of his fingers, against the purple wall. The noise immediatly stopped. He saw the Taelon turn toward the wall, toward him.

“Who are you?” asked a shaking voice. This voice reminded him of something, of someone, but he could not put a face on it. It was a taelon, without any doubts.

“I’m a Human. And you, who are you?”

The asnwer took some time to come. “I am a Taelon,”responded finally the person he was speaking to. The voice was still shaking but with much more confidence in it.

“Why do you shake like that?”

The vopice of the Taelon was more firm, sounded more decided. “Because it hurts,” was the simple answer.

Liel knew that he would not know more than that. “What’s your name?”

“I fear that I can not reveal you my identity.”

“Why?”

“Because you would fear me.”

“Why should I need to feel scared by you?”

“Because everyone is scared by me.”

“You’re not forced to tell me your real name.”

“You suggest the use of a pseudonym then.”

“Yes. I’m Liel and I would like to shake your hand but we’re separated by a wall.”

“Liel? It is nice. But it is not a Human name, or I have never heard of it.”

“It’s a pseudonyme.”

“Why do you need one?”

“Because you would not want to talk to me anymore if you knew who I was.”

“It is an excellent reason Liel.”

“So, what’s your name?”

“Mazorha.”

“That’s not Taelon.”

“It is my first name. Do you like it?”

“Very much. Mazorha…”

No words were spoken during almost a complete minute of silence.

Liel spoke again. “So, what’s your on this ship. Your voice sounds familiar.”

“It is quite possible that me and you have met, very probable even. I am part of the diplomatic caste.”

“It’s why you don’t tell me your name? Because you fear that I would recognize you?”

“Yes, I think.”

“Why did you say I would fear you if I knew who you were?”

“Because I’m not very popular among the humans.”

“Your reputation is unjustified?”

“In one way yes, in the other no.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I will try to explain.” Mazorha was so passionated by this odd talking through a wall, that she almost forgot the pain that afflicted her. “We all have two differents parts in us. One we show everydays to everyone and the other one we keep for ourselves. The appearance I show to your fellows and to the other Taelons is… not the same of the one I really am.”

“You show me the part of yourself that you never show to anyone?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you risk to show me that?”

“Because I do not know your identity and that you ignore mine.”

Liel laughed. “It’s a very good reason Mazorha.”

“But I must ask you, why are you not with your fellows on Earth. If I remeber well, it’s the period of the day you take for rest.”

“I don’t like to be on Earth.”

“Why? You are amongst your fellows.”

“Because I will never be totally part of the Human race.”

“You did not tell me you were Human.”

“Yes… But I never felt… home on Earth. I never had the feeling to be a part of them. I don’t know if you can understand what I’m saying?”

“I understand very well what you explain to me on the contrary.”

“Can you explain?”

“I fear not.” Mazorha felt another wave of pain run in her body from the toes to the head. “I need to take rest now. If you can excuse me…” she whispered.

“Mazorha?”

The Taelon came closer to the wall.

“I will be there, tomorrow. If you want to talk,” said Liel’s sweet voice.

“I thank you. I will be here too.”

¤

“Who are you? Tell me, Liel.”

“Tell you what?”

“Who you are.”

“You know that I cannot tell you that.”

“I know. But you said you did not felt at ease on Earth. Why did you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I don’t feel totally human.”

“A part of you does not feel at home.”

“It was not a question.”

“No. It was not.”

“So what do you want to know about me?”

“I want to know why. Why are you here tonight speaking with a Taelon you do not know.”

“You want to hear about my life? Or what I can tell you.”

“Yes.”

He sighed thoughtful, “Very well. I’ll start by the beginning. I don’t know who my father is. My mother, when I’ve been conceived, slept with two men in the same night.”

“Debauchee?”

“No. It was a woman totally normal. Let’s say that it was under strange circumstances.”

“Then...”

“One of my ‘fathers’ died before my birth. The other one never knew who I possibly was.”

“The identity of your real father woulld be very easy to know. A simple DNA test.”

“No, Mazorha. I think I don’t want to know it.”

“And, your mother?”

“She’s dead shortly after my birth, some months after.”

“I’m sorry. You loved her?”

“Very much…”

“And what happened after?”

“My mother did not raise me. She was too preoccupied by her work. Some friends of the family took the job. I needed to learn fast how satisfy my own needs. After that, it was the War. And later the Taelons came to Earth.”

“It is sad.”

“But it’s the only life I have.”

“I understand that you want to preserve it.”

“And you, Mazorha. Tell me about you.”

A slight hesitation, “I’m sorry Liel, but not now. Later. Maybe.”

¤

Mazorha fell against the wall, more than she sat in the alcove. Liel had sensed it or seen it.

“What’s happening?”

“It’s the Ka’atham.”

“What’s that?”

She moaned. “It is… our reproduction time…”

“Oh, I see. And what’s wrong?”

“I will not be able to procreate.”

“What will you do?”

“I do not know.”

“Why do you cannot… If it’s not too personal?”

She moaned and tried to concentrate on the talking. “Because I have not found a mate. I am the only Taelon in Ka’atham now.”

“But what will happen to you? It seems to hurt.”

“It is a torture.”

“Why does it hurt so much?”

“A long time ago, it was for force ourselves to stop everything but finding a mate and reproduce. But now, our bodies are weaker and it is more like a biological imperative.”

“You… will die?”

“I fear that it is the only escape for me.”

“How can you live with this pain, all the time?”

“I live with it.”

“It’s awful!”

“Yes.”

“But maybe a Human could-…”

“No!”

“You do not dare think about it, don’t you?” She could imaginate easily the slight smile on his lips.

“Please do not talk to me about that.”

“Okay.”

¤

“I love very much the talking we have, you know?”

“As I do Liel.”

“And it’s probably because we ignore each other identity.”

“Yes, it’s possible.”

“Seriously, do you believe that a relationship between a Human and a Taelon is do-able?”

“Why do you ask me that?”

“It’s just a question.” He laughed.

“You are right. But what is the link with us?”

“I never said that the two subjects were linked.”

“No, but I sense it in your voice.”

“I repeat my question, do you believe it’s do-able?”

“Yes, I believe it.”

“Truly?”

“You seem doubtful.”

“It’s just that…” He sighed. “You’ll find that so ridiculous...”

“I do not know who you are. You could tell me what you want, I would not feel upset if I could not repraoch it to you.”

“I’ve been… close to a Taelon who, I believed, hated me and now I have… divergents feelings about him, that’s all.”

“Divergents?”

“I don’t like the insinuations in your voice!”

“What do you mean?”

“By ‘divergents’ or by ‘insinuations’?”

“By‘divergents’.”

“I’ve said ‘divergents’, because I don’t know how qaulify what I’m feeling for him.”

“That’s strange.”

“Why?”

“Because me too, I have been very close to a Human.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And what happened?”

“Nothing happened. Liel, it is your turn to insinuate now.”

¤

“They completly don’t care of what you could be-…”

“It is only what you represent, what you think, what you say, that matters.”

“Mazorha? I didn’t know you were there.”

“Good evening.”

“Good evening you too.”

“You feel like that?”

“Yes, often. And you?”

“Always. They never accepted me for what I am.”

“They?”

“My people.”

“Why?”

“Because I am the result of all their mistakes, the personification of all what they fear, all what represent our degeneration to them…”

“It’s not very joyful over there.”

“Do not joke with that!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You, Liel, are the only one who consider me as a living being and not as a symbol.”

“And you’re the only person I know that consider me as an equal, not as a simple Human…”

“There is always this rivality between our two species.”

“I would like to believe that peace is possible, Mazorha.”

“I know Liel.”

“But it’s the only way, isn’t it?”

“I fear.”

“We’ll be always forced to fight against each other then.”

“I do not know.”

¤

Liel sat, his back against the wall. When he saw the blue-ish lightened form, through the wall, he knew that Mazorha was there. He knocked softly. Weeks after weeks it had become their signal in a way.

He waited and received no answer.

Worried he knocked again and called softly, “Mazorha?”

No answer. But he could see the form of the Taelon on the other side of the wall. He pressed his ear against the purple material. He heard the same noise that had awoken him the other day. Like sobs.

Suddenly the Taeon seemed to realize that he was there. “Liel?”

“You’re suffering.”

“It’s worst than all it has ever been, tonight.”

“Can I help you?”

“No. Only a Taelon could.”

“I can try.”

“No. I refuse.”

“Why? Because I’m Human.”

It was lower than a whisper. “Yes.”

“I understand. I would probably do the same thing.” He saw her trying to hide the pain she felt, turning her hands in to fists. “Why do you try to hide it to me?”

“Because I am the shame and the burden of my race! Because they all hate me for that!”

“I want to help you. There’s surely something I can do.”

“No.”

“I can call a healer.”

“No! No, please do not do that.”

“You hide it from them too, don’t you?”

There was no reponse but he saw her nod.

“They could maybe help you.”

“No. They have tried and their efforts… stayed vains. It was even worst after.”

“Please, let me help you. I cannot stand to see you like that.”

She forced herself to calm down and to stop shaking. “Put your hand… on the wall,” she murmured.

Liel hesitated but obeyed finally. She saw the vague shape of his fingers beneath the almost translucide material.

Mazorha raised her own hand and pressed it against Liel’s. The young man sensed some heat run through his hand and arm, and even not a second later, the familiar mind had disapeared.

“What have you done?” he asked, worried for his anpnymous state.

“I only verified that you were not lying or that you did not act by pathetic compassion, while saying that you wanted to help me.”

“Could I help you?”

“I do not know. But I prefer to die than to make both of us die, in a painful way.”

Liel lowered the eyes. He knew that he had… feelings toward Mazorha but it was the first time she admited that she cared for him.

“Let me alone please. I will try to take rest.”

“Of course. Bye.”

It was just if she had the strenght to answer. “Bye Liel.”

She heard him exit the room. “If only, you had been a Taelon, things would have been different,” she whispered, completly alone.

IV – Liam Kincaid

I have an, each days’s getting stranger and more intimate, relationship with a Taelon through a wall. I don’t know who’s she and I believe that she ignores my identity too. I’ve written ‘she’. Maybe I consider her as female, because of her soft voice. I’m not really sure. She seems so weak. She told me she was in pain. Some Taelon reproduction ritual or something like that. And that the healers could do nothing for her. I feel sorry and sad about her. Sometimes, it’s only if she is able to talk because it hurts too much. I wuold like to help her, but she would not let me do. She apperas so different of all the people I know, Taelon or Human. It’s the only one who ever truly accepted me. But it’s always sadenning to know that it’s probably because she don’t know me.

£Liel£

V – Through the wall again

“Mazorha?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve something for you.”

“What?”

“I’m not telling you, it’s a surprise.”

“Liel, I do not know if you had remarked, but there is a wall between us.”

“Look.”

Mazorha saw the wall change of color and she started to get scared. He must did not know who she was.

“No. Liel-…”

“Don’t worry.”

She calmed. The wall seemed to become translucent during less than second and then took back it’s original color. She heard the soft crumpling of his clothes behind the wall. Her eyes widened considerably when she saw his hands passing through the purple bioslurry.

“How do you know that?”

“It’s not very hard, you know. You just need to find the way it works.”

She stroked lightly the back of his hand, as a soft caress. His skin was hot, Human, against hers, so cold, alien-like surely, for Liel. She felt him tremble. His hands escaped from her grip.

When it re-apeared, it was only his closed fist.

“Give me your hand and close your eyes.”

She took a deep breath and, trusting him, this man she knew not, completly, she did as he had said.

Her small white hand covered Liel’s. She sensed his fingers moving in hers and the noise of a small china falling in the center of her palm. She heard the crumpling of his clothes again and knew that he had brought his hand back on his side of the wall.

“You may open your eyes now.”

She slowly opened her eyes. And saw what was in her hand. A chain, what the Humans called a necklace. A very small chain made of a golden metal, gold, bronze maybe, and there was also a small plaque of the same material. It had something written on it. A rune. It looked like the one that were in Ma’el’s tomb in Ireland.

“It’s the rune Marhey. It represents the peace in lies, the trust in betrayal, the faith in unknown…”

She could not speak during seconds. Nobody had gave her gift in the past and this one was one of the beautifulest thing she had seen in her life.

“Liel it’s…” she murmured.

“You’re not forced to keep it, if you don’t want to. I just wanted to show it to you. For that you know how important you are for me.”

“It’s… wonderful Liel. I can keep it?”

“Yes, evidently. I just thought that maybe the Taelons… did not give this kind of gifts…”

“You are right. We do not, never, give gifts. Never. It has no words in our tongue for that.” She lowered the head for look once again at the necklace in her hand. She did not think that the Humans could do so beautiful things with so much primitive material. “It was your mother’s?”

“Yes, how did you guess?”

“I feel it. I feel how you feel for this object. And you told me numerous times that you loved your mother.”

“I’m happy that it pleases you.”

Mazorha remembered something, suddenly. “Wait.” She raised difficultly.

Mazorha carefully passed the chain around her neck and slid it under her suit. If the Synod knew of this existence of this ornament, if they saw it at a meeting, they would want to know more. They would ask her. And even she could not do anything. She would hide it.

She searched in her memory and slid her eyes slowly through her chamber. What could she give him? Her stare fell on something she had good souvenirs of. She smiled and took it in his hands.

She knelt on the floor, and knocked softly against the wall, “Liel?”

“Hmmm…?”

“Close your eyes.”

She could not see him beneath the wall but she knew he was doing just that. She passed her hands, the object in the center of her palm, through the wall. She found Liel’s hand and let the little sphere fall in his hand.

She knew that he opened his eyes and, with his other hand, took the gift she had offered him. She did not remarked that he was still holding the hand she had passed through the wall.

“That is what we call a fra’e. It is a game. A kind of mental discipline. If you were a Taelon, or if you had any psychic powers, you could make it work easily enough. It is the symbol, for me, of my childhood, of the childhood I have lost when the Ka’atham has begun. It is my parent who gave that to me when I was a young child. I found no other thing that could represent the friendhsip and closeness I feel when we are together…”

“Mazorha, it’s the most beautiful gift that someone ever gave me. It’s wonderful. I thank you,” he whispered. In his voice, the fact that he truly believed what he was saying was hearable. She knew that he was surely observing this strange object, trying to find out its purpose. The blue and silver energy paterns on the top of the sphere should fascinate him.

“For be totally honest with you, it is not a complete coincidence. You always seemed younger to me, younger than what you pretended to be. Without offense,” she added.

She felt him smile, more than she saw it. “You are very perspicacious. I’m… quite yound indeed.”

Mazorha heard Liel slid the little sphere in his coat pocket. The, and only then, she remarked that he was still holding her hands on the other side of the wall. In fact, she sensed his fingers start to melt with hers. The Ka’atham began to react, to make her body react. Her corporal temperature became high, so that she found Liel’s hands cold against hers. So that she completly lost her human disguise.

The hand that Liel was holding between his was boiling and started to lose substance and becoming translucent. His fingers were illuminated by the blue-pink energy lines that travelled in Mazorha’s hand. Despite all, he sensed a pressure on his hand, a reciprocal pressure, responding to his caress. He sat in the alcove completly, extending his legs fully.

The Taelon shivered and let her back fall against the recess she was sat in. She let her head against the wall too, her breathing short, trying to convince her body that it was a Human that was holding her hands and not a Taelon, potential mate. A kind of pleasurable wave ran in her nerves, when Liel touched lightly the palm of her hand with the tip of his fingers. This only action made her feel plunged into a deep hypnotic-like state during a second.

“You know what was the purpose of those alcoves, long ago, when the ship was just built?” she asked him, her voice very long as a confidence.

“No, please tell me,” he murmured, absently. His fingers started to move on her hands, stroking it softly. She was simply enjoying this moment she would never even have hoped. The Ka’atham prevented her from closing her mind, ready to receveive the intruder. But, very surprising, he did not tried to see in her mind.

A true smile curled her lips, so hard usually. “It was the kind of place where my ancestors had… what Humans could call… romantic rendezvous…” she said, her voice suggestive, almost despite herself.

“Are you joking?”

“I am very serious. It happened many times that the Synod was not agreeing with some unions between the members of my species, and, in a complete illegality, they met in place like here, speaking through the wall… just like we do…” she finished, as the logic part of herself, in true danger of complete vanishing, started to find the situation ironic at most.

“Then, do you believe, Mazorha, that it’s possible for a Taelon and a Human?” he asked, in a murmur, softly.

Mazorha opened her eyes wide and was going to answer when she sensed something on the palm of her hand.

Liel took the frail hand that he stroked lovingly since some seconds now and pressed his lips against it. Immediatly, he felt her shiver in reaction. And sigh too. And it was not a sigh of pain.

Mazorha felt more free, more good than during all the past century when she had suffered the constant agony of the Ka’atham. She could not stop the long sigh that escaped her lips and let Liel kiss her hand.

He pressed his lips against her palm firstly and smiled in relief as she shivered in anticipation. He was really surprised. He had thought that she would reject her, disgusted. He had the feeling of something hot that ran trough his whole body, warming him, both in body and spirit. His kisses were becoming longer, more hot, more tender. He turned her hand and kissed gently the small fingers between his.

She knew that he felt exactly the same way than she did. But suddenly, she remembered who was behind this wall. She had thought at him as Liel. Ever, not really realizing that he was just another Human. Liel. A Human. She was shameful of the feelings, not very Taelon-like, not very orthodox anymore especially, that started to take possession and control on her every moves. The only contact of his lips on her hand made her lose control totally, proof that the Ka’atham was in control now. She needed to stop that.

Liel pressed passionately his lips on the translucent hand. He did not want to remember that it was a Taelon behind the wall. He only wanted to know that he adored to sense her hand quiver in his, in pleasure, in relief, not in pain. Mazorha should not suffer as she did. The Taelon’s hand suddenly tensed between his fingers and before he had time to understand something, she had took her hand on her side of the wall.

Liel almost passed through the wall this time, go and seen her, finally know who was she, be able to love her, to relieve her. But he stopped himself at the last second. When he saw her curling in a tight ball on the floor, hugging her knees on her chest. A ball of sadness and pain, the pain he felt for her, appeared in his throat, at the sight of this suffering creature.

“I… hurted you?” he asked, the hesitation more than hearable in his voice.

He heard almost nothing of the murmur that came as a response. “No.”

He understood, or, at less, believed he did, “I went too far?”

“Yes Liel. My body… and my mind, were ready to perform the Ka’atham… with you. I hurted myself by preventing it to happen.”

“I’m sorry. If only you knew how mu-…”

“I knew that you did not wanted it to happen. And you knew not.”

“Knew not what?”

“In our species, the center of our palms is a very sensible place and certains contacts, sometimes only a stroke or a light touch, can produce serious consequences.”

“Serious?”

She visibly hesitated. “If you had been a Taelon… and if I was able to accomplish the Ka’atham ritual correctly, it could have produce our offspring Liel.”

He blushed red. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know of that.”

“I know. But I know what that kind of… gesture mean for a member of your race. And I want to thank you for that… affectionnal touch. I want you to know that, if I could have let you do, I would have been happy to do so.”

Liel knew that it would be the only thing he would have as a demonstration of affection verbally, from Mazorha. She was a Taelon after all.

“Do you… want me to come tomorrow?” he demanded, hesitantly.

“Yes Liel. Of course I want you to come.”

VI – Liel and Mazorha

Liam closed the door of his apartment and locked it. His intimity preserved, he let himself slide one the floor, his back against the wall. What he had done? Now, it was clear. He could not deny, how could he dare, the affection and love he had for this Taelon he did not know. Mazorha. This only name awoke fresh thoughts and feelings in his mind. He remembered perfectly the feeling of her sweet skin against his lips…

He was intimally bonded with a Taelon. The only problem was that he did not know the identity of this Taelon. And that she ignored who he was too. He put his hand in his coat pocket and his fingers found the sphere that she had given him. He took it and make it roll between his fingers. It was really a beautiful gift. He looked and followed with his eyes the little blue-silver energy lines.

He felt tired. He fell in his bed, all dressed, the fra’e still in his hand. Liam murmured a last time the name that he had begun to cherish before falling into a deeper state of sleep.

¤

Seven ONine
ezOP
(1/26/01 9:47:33 am)
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
*sniffle* Love it.

Kelara
Registered User
(1/26/01 10:19:24 am)
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Re: Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
Jeanne, you know how much I love this fanfic, so when are you going to post more? :)

Yvory 
Registered User
(1/26/01 12:18:00 pm)
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Re: Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
Love it!
More!Please!
Cool new name!

Jehanne
Registered User
(2/3/01 11:42:55 am)
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Re: Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
That's the beginning. Someone asked for it. I don't remember who. But I posted it finally so here it is. Hope you'll like.

DanaQ2
Registered User
(2/4/01 11:01:16 am)
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
Oh this is great!!!
thanx!
I was the one that asked by the way :)

SynZor
Registered User
(2/7/01 12:29:19 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: Mazorha From Behind the Wall (beginning)
Thanx a lot, I really wanted to read it from the beginning. I do love this story it is just great. :)

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