I wrote this one while driving across the Canadian Prairies (umm, no, I actually wasn’t the one riving). I wrote it for Nemesiz, since she loves those “Kathryn-likes-it hard” stories. It didn’t quite turn out the
way I wanted...but you still love me don’t you baby??!! : )
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Janeway and Chakotay. But they don’t do enough with them, dammit!!!!
Control
by Kait
It was ironic how things were, Chakotay reflected. Less than a week ago, he’d been in her bed, making sweet love to her all night. Her much-smaller
body had writhed beneath him in ecstasy, her hands in his hair and her lips seeking his. She’s been so open and loving and willing, his lover, his equal...even someone he felt he had to protect, as she’d cuddled close into his big chest in the aftermath of her orgasm. A kiss had put her to sleep.
And now here she stood in his doorframe, her arms crossed and lips set in a thin line, exuding a power that her diminutive frame denied. He looked into
her eyes, no longer softened with love but hardened blue. It was the first he’d seen of her in two days.
“So, has my period of penance finally ended?” he asked her, a slight bitterness in his voice.
“Chakotay...” she started. “May I sit down?” she said then, interrupting herself. Chaktoay gestured for her to go ahead and so she did, sitting down in a chair across from his sofa. “Chakotay,” she said. “I want you to understand why I confined you to your quarters.”
“I do understand.” Chakotay said. “Because I didn’t agree with your decision to release Verok to the Kallan.”
“No,” Janeway said. “Because you defied my authority in front of the Kallan.”
“ ‘Defied your authority’?!” Chakotay repeated. “I asked_ you if you were sure you wanted to do this. I requested to speak with you before you handed him over.”
“You undermined their perception of my control!” Janeway told him angrily,
standing up.
“Well, you_ didn’t give me a chance to consult with you on this
issue,”
Chakotay returned just as angrily. “You were upset you didn’t have my
agreement, so you went ahead and made the decision yourself!”
“I_ am the Captain.” Janeway said, her voice deadly calm.
“I’m not disputing that.” Chakotay told her. “But I_ am the First
Officer.
We’re supposed to work together. But if ever I don’t see things
exactly_
your way, you just shut me out!”
Hearing this truth spoken, Janeway simply turned her back to him. She
didn’t have a reply. He got up from the sofa and advanced towards her.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have questioned you in front of the Kallan,” he
said.
“But dammit, Kathryn, you made a decision that affected a man’s life!”
Janeway turned around to face him, and her eyes showed a mix of hurt
and
anger. “Yes, I did, Chakotay,” she retorted. “I have to make
decisions
that affect people’s lives every day. And it would be nice if my first
officer would support me!"
Her eyes were bright with tears by now,
and
although he was still upset with her, Chakotay actually felt sorry for
her,
too.
“There’s a difference between ‘agreement’ and ‘support’, Kathryn,” he
told
her gently. “I may not always agree with you, but I will always
support
you.”
Janeway had turned around again momentarily, hoping Chakotay hadn’t
seen
she was starting to cry. She was upset, but she forced herself to
speak
icily. “I didn’t come here for an English lesson, Chakotay. I came
here to
inform you that you are never to question a command decision of mine in
front of guests again. Is that understood?” she stated reather than
asked.
Chakotay squared his shoulders. “Permission to speak freely.” he
requested.
“Denied!” Janeway snapped. She spun on her heel and headed towards
the
door. “Fine, Chakotay, you can stay_ in here!”
Chakotay lunged after her and grabbed her wrist. “You can lock me in
here
for eternity, Kathryn, but it’s not going to change you_. And that’s
what
this whole thing is about. You, and your obsession with control!”
Janeway tried to pull her arm away, but he had a firm grasp. “Let me
go!”
she yelled.
Chakotay ignored her demand. “You’re so afraid of losing a drop of
your
authority that you make life impossible for both of us!” he shouted.
“Open
your eyes, Kathryn!” he said, yanking her closer to his face. “Admit
that
you can’t do everything all by yourself.!”
Janeway was glaring at him furiously, her face only inches from his.
And
for a moment, their eyes locked and time stood still, the only sound
being
their breathing. They’d never had an argument that’d become so heated.
Chakotay still squeezed her wrist, and he knew that she was enraged at
being restrained, but he was angry, too. She was so stubborn sometimes
he
could just throttle her. Like now, as she looked at him with no
intention
to give in.
He looked back at her, and he saw so many things. His Captain, his
friend,
his lover. How angry she could make him, yet how much he loved her.
Her
cheeks, softened with age. Her eyes, a gray-blue. Her lips, so
delicate.
He just stared at her a moment. He could see her looking back at him,
now
unsure, almost afraid of what was going to come next.
And suddenly, impulsively, to Janeway’s surprise and his own, he
leaned in
and kissed her, hard. He released her wrist and back her up against
the
wall. “Besides,” he said, the act of kissing her softening him up
already,
“You’re so much more beautiful when you lose some of that control.” He
leaned in and gave her another long, deep kiss.
Janeway stiffened at this, her gasped breath drawn from his mouth.
She
knew she should resist. She wanted_ to resist. But her hands that
pushed
at him did so very weakly. It could have something to do with the fact
that
he was turning her insides to jelly with the way his tongue probed her.
For his part, Chakotay couldn’t deny that as angry he’d been in the
past
few days, a good part of the anger had been for the fact that he’d
wanted
her. He’d wanted her, and it was she who’d confined him, depriving him
of
her. The lines between anger and lust had become blurred, and they
still
were. He pressed his body into hers, wanting her to feel his growing
erection as he held her tightly. He pushed back her hair with his hand
and
began kissing her face all over with aggressive abandon.
Janeway could feel his stiff penis poking into her belly through both
their
uniforms and the wet kisses he was plastering on her face. She was
dizzied
with arousal but she tried desperately to retain her self-control.
“Stop...” she murmured. “Chakotay, that’s enough...” But her protests
sounded like disguised pleas for continuance, which they probably were.
She
made a few attempts to move her face away, but he soon captured her
mouth
again with his own. And when he hand roughly cupped her breast,
massaging
it...she couldn’t help the small moan she released into his mouth.
Janeway knew in her mind that she was past the point of no return, but
still a little part of her held anger, and she wished to release it.
If
Chakotay was going to take her, if she was going to let him...he was
going
to know that she still harbored some resentment towards him for making
her
lose control...again.
When his mouth finally broke the passionate kiss, Janeway pulled back,
looking at him and breathing hard. “Fuck you, Chakotay!” she gasped,
her
chest heaving.
In response to this, Chakotay had merely mashed his mouth over hers
again,
and pushed her legs apart with one knee. He pulled her closer and down
on
him, pressing his knee against the wall. Janeway now straddled his
thigh,
her feet off the floor. This was pressure on her tingling clit, a
little
welcome stimulation. She fought the urge to rock herself on him, to
let him
know just how hot he made her. But when he put his hands on her
buttocks
and pulled her closer, she could feel the friction between her legs and
she
whimpered helplessly.
Knowing full well he was driving her crazy, Chakotay kept his hands on
her
behind and pressed her there rhythmically, and the rough Starfleet
fabric
rubbed her just the right way. He kissed her as he did so, and Janeway
thought she would pass out. To her agony, though, it didn’t last, he
lifted
her into his arms and began to carry her into his bedroom.
He kissed and sucked at her neck at he did so, and fondled her breast
at
the same time. “I know you want this, Kathryn,” he murmured between
nibbles. “I know you want this as much as I do. You’re just too
goddamned
stubborn to admit it.” Damn straight, Janeway thought to herself but
the
only thing to escape her lips was a pleasured whimper as he moved his
hand
down and rubbed his palm between her legs.
They reached his bedroom and he lay her down on his bed. He did
nothing
then, but looked at his aroused Captain/lover. Her eyes met his, and
she
trembled with barely-concealed anticipation. Her eyes dropped to gaze
at
the straining bulge in his pants, and she couldn’t look away. God, she
wanted him inside of her.
But Chakotay had other ideas, first. Hovering over her, he stripped
her of
her uniform. She lay like a rag doll, allowing him to remover her
jacket,
shirt, and bra without comment. She couldn’t, however, stifle her cry
when
he suckled eack of her nipples. He then pulled off her pants and
panties.
As she lay there naked, he sat down beside her and put his hands in
between
her legs. Janeway moaned as his fingers found her swollen clit within
her
damp folds.
“So wet, Kathryn...” Chakotay murmured. “You’ve been into this far
longer
than you let on.” He began to masturbate her, and Janeway squeezed her
eyes
shut. His fingers slid easily within her vulva due to her excitement,
and
it felt fantastic. She writhed beneath him, lifting her hips off the
bed.
When he stopped then, it took every ounce of self-control Kathryn
Janeway
had not to reach down and finish the job herself. She glared at him
with
hostile eyes...he had her imprisoned with arousal.
But Chakotay was busy removing his own clothes, revealing his huge
once he
took off his pants. Naked, he climbed on top of her on all fours.
Janeway
could seehis penis straining, pointing at her. A bead of semen was
formed
at the tip, and Janeway almost wept, she wanted him so badly by now.
Chakotay understood. He kissed her lips for a moment, then began to
position himself inside of her. Janeway gasped at the feel of him
filling
her, and she spread her legs wider to accomodate him. He eased himself
into
her, and Janeway whimpered.
Chakotay embraced Janeway and began to thrust into her, gently at
first but
soon with more speed and intensity. Janeway counterthrusted...her mind
was
no match for her body at this point. Their naked bodies ground against
one
another; they were fighting each other on the bed, moving harshly.
Janeway
could see his dark eyes and she pushed harder against him, like it was
a
battle between them.
But her body was about to climax, and she began to feel a soft
throbbing
between her legs and she gave herself to him... “Chakotay,
Chakotay...” she
gasped, feeling stars behind her eyes and the motion of him still
moving
against her. too, a burst of warmth deep within her.
They were still for a few minutes, the only sound being their ragged
breath
as their damp skin clung together. Then Chakotay gently tugged Kathryn
over
with him as he lay on his back, with her on his stomach. In a wave of
post-coital affection he began to lovingly kiss her and kiss her, all
over
her face.
At this tender act, though, Janeway suddenly burst into tears.
“Kathryn,
Kathryn...” Chakotay murmured, tasting tears on his lips. “What’s the
matter, baby?” He kissed her a few more times gently, then held her
face in
his hands, stroking her hair back.
Janeway was just overcome with emotion, consumed with tears as she
looked
into her lover’s concerned face. She had so much to say to him, so
many
truths and secrets and fears she wanted him to know...but all she could
manage was, a whimpered, “I’m sorry, Chakotay...I love you.”
Chakotay smiled, almost laughed. “I love you, too.” he informed her,
kissing her nose. “And I forgive you. And...I’m sorry, too, for
questioning you, and for the things I said. I love you, Kathryn...so
much.
More than anything.
Janeway cried now, with relief for his reassuring words. She reached
down
and cupped his face in her hands, gazing at him despite her tears.
He reached up and traced her trembling lips. “You know what the worst
part
was about the last two days?” he asked her. She shook her head
slightly,
and he responded, “Being without you.”
Janeway was about to start bawling again when he quickly pulled her
down to
his side and cuddled her close, kissing her face again. Something
about the
act calmed her, and she began to kiss him back. She stopped only long
enough to murmur into his ear, “Let’s not fight anymore, Chakotay.”
“Agreed,” Chakotay responded, kissing her nose. “Let’s just kiss.”
And they did.
The End
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