Some Days It Sucks to be Me

Description, Rating, & Disclaimers

TITLE: Some Days It Sucks to be Me

AUTHOR: Elysium

SPOILERS: Fire and Water

SEQUEL/SEASON INFO: Season 3

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Jack does whatever it takes to keep the team safe.

CATEGORY: Mild Angst, Mild Humor

AUTHORS NOTES: Story was first posted to the Stargate SG-1 Hurt/Comfort list, at Onelist.com. It is rated PG because it contains the word 'sucks'. This was written in about 2 hours after a playful little discussion with Werrf. It is a contrived and frivolous toying with Jack. So don't sue me. Posted first to the H/C list as 'someTIMES it ...', but the line quoted is actually 'some days', so I changed the title.

DISCLAIMER:

All Stargate SG-1 characters are the property of Stargate SG-1 Productions (II) Inc., MGM Worldwide Television Productions Inc., Double Secret Productions, Gekko Film Corp and Showtime Networks Inc. No infringement of those rights is intended. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. This disclaimer was shamelessly copied from the 'Heliopolis' site.

---

There were a few things Jack knew before he opened his eyes.

He had no clue where he was.

He was having a hard time putting his thoughts together.

He felt like he'd been clubbed over the head with a pyramid.

And the rest of him felt pretty good, including a few of those old injuries that never seemed quite to go away.

If it wasn't so damned quiet he'd think he was tucked away safely in Dr. Frasier's infirmary with a nice morphine drip in place.

Except for that headache.

He opened his eyes.

Martouf watched at his bedside. They were on a Tok'Ra spacecraft.

Judging from the silence, there wasn't any emergency going on at the moment.

"Martouf," Jack said. "Where's the team? What happened?"

"You got us out. We escaped," Martouf grinned, "and the base orbiting Vintu did not."

Vintu--their mission was to find out why the place was a black-hole for Tok'Ra. Operatives went in, but they didn't come out. Two had been lost.

Jack didn't know them, but he still felt sad.

"I feel--really out of it. Confused. I don't really remember what happened."

"That's all right. You will be fine. Don't worry about it."

"The last thing I remember..." He grasped at the memory, but it flitted away like a windblown leaf.

"Don't try. Just rest."

"No. I wanna see the team."

He sat up. Jack expected to feel dizzy or weak, to go with his confusion, but he was fine. He smiled.

"Maybe I'm not so bad off as I thought," he said.

Martouf smiled back at him; there was a fondness and a sadness behind the expression that set the alarms off in Jack's head. Something very bad had happened, and probably had happened to him, only he couldn't remember it. And Martouf was not about to tell him.

Swell.

He walked to the door. For a man with a concussion he felt remarkably steady.

Martouf followed him closely, anxiety on his face, like he expected Jack to fall.

"I'm okay," Jack said.

The door opened; Jack walked to the ships small bridge.

The craft was on autopilot. Jack could see, through the transparent forcefield which made up one 'wall', that they were already in hyperspace.

His crew were huddled together in an intense conversation, which stopped with abrupt awkwardness as soon as he appeared at the entry.

"Well," he said to their staring faces, "Don't stop on my account."

Something bad had definitely happened to him.

"Uh, Colonel," said Sam, with a glance to Martouf, "How do you feel?"

"Other than a headache, and the fact that I can't remember what happened, I'm fine."

Sam stared at Martouf, round-eyed, in the corner of Jack's vision he could see Martouf shrug.

"Will one of you please tell me what is going on? You guy's are beginning to scare me."

"We are returning to the Tok'Ra base after a successful mission," reported Teal'c.

"And we have eluded our pursuers," added Martouf.

"So I missed all the fun."

"Yeah," Sam said dryly.

Daniel wouldn't meet Jacks eyes.

"All right, Daniel, you tell me what happened," Jack said.

"I-I think it might be better if you tell us what you remember."

That bad, huh? Uh-oh. Did I do something?

Jack went back in his mind, to before they left the SGC, when his memory was clear. He remembered the briefing, the trip through the Stargate, the flight from the Tok'Ra base, their arrival at Vintu. Martouf's symbiote, Lantash, pretending to be a Goa'uld cargo pilot with a minor mechanical problem. The other Tok'Ra had been killed; the facility was a bio-weapons lab loyal to Nirti. Jack went to blow the central power station while Sam and Teal'c created a diversion; they were caught. Daniel and Lantash tried to rescue them, while Jack completed his task. Jack headed for the prison block.

And his memories faded out.

"I remember placing the C-4 around the power core. After that...." he shook his head.

"You got us out of the prison," Daniel said. "We made it back to the ship in one piece, and now we're going home."

"That's great, Daniel. But what are you leaving out?"

"Look, why don't we talk about this once we get back to the Tok'Ra base," said Sam. "Colonel, do you want something to eat?"

"No, lets talk about this. Now. That's an order."

The Major set her jaw. "Sir, I really think you should take it up with Lantash."

He turned to Martouf, "Well?"

But his memory chose that moment to break free.

The Jaffa were still scrambling to deal with the fire Sam and Teal'c had created. Jack had to jump his way through a few slamming bulk-heads that were isolating the problem. Fifteen minutes left to get them out and to the transport. Twenty minutes before the C-4 on the power core went off.

Twenty minutes before the station went bye-bye.

He gunned the Jaffa down on sight.

Damn I hate doing that.

Beyond was a door to the cell block; he found Nirti's symbol among the glyphs on the wall; the door opened.

Two more Jaffa were shot down before they could sound an alarm. So far so good.

There were only four cells in the block; the station wasn't designed to carry prisoners. Goa'uld 'justice' was swift; anyone captured here would very shortly be dead.

The team and Martouf were together in one of the cells.

"Colonel!" said Sam.

"We got fifteen minutes till this place blows," Jack said.

"Quickly. The central station. The symbols over the door should match," said Lantash.

Jack looked over the door for the cell designation, and rushed to the control station, nearly tripping on one of the dead guards. He activated the symbol.

Nothing happened.

"Lantash, nothing's happening. What's wrong?"

"O'Neill, describe the controls," said Teal'c.

"Well, its got an array of symbols. I hit the right one."

"Is there a panel, below the array, which glows."

"Yes." Jack looked up at the cell. Teal'c and Martouf were looking at each other; he knew the news was not good.

"What?"

"I believe the control is encrypted to Goa'uld physiology," said Teal'c. "Only a goa'uld can open it."

"Try one of the Jaffa," suggested Sam.

Jack grabbed the hand of one of the fallen, and placed it on the panel. He pushed the icon. There was nothing.

"All right," Jack said, pulling a zat gun from the corpse, "Stand back from the door."

Jack shot the edge of the grating. The energy arced, and dissipated harmlessly.

He stepped closer.

"Colonel!" Sam chirped.

He was pressed against the grating, with the wind knocked out of him. Then he felt the dreaded sear which told him he'd been hit by a staff blast.

He fell to the floor. It wasn't that bad...

All went black.

There were hands, steadying his head.

"Colonel? Colonel O'Neill?"

The voice was Lantash's

"Time," Jack croaked. Getting the team out was the only thing that mattered, now.

"Nine minutes,"

"Not enough," Jack said. He opened his eyes.

Martouf--Lantash--was kneeling beside him on the floor, his arms through the grating, cradling Jack's head next to the bars.

"Colonel, listen to me, your injury is not that severe," said Lantash.

"The Jaffa?"

"I got him sir," Sam said, holding Jack's zat gun as evidence.

"This is not my first choice of solutions," Lantash continued, "but there is no time and I can think of no other. It will go easier if you just try to sleep."

"Sleep?" echoed O'Neill. With the burn on his ribs it would be so easy to just let go, surrender, and die. But for the team...

Like hell.

"Forgive me," said Lantash.

O'Neill barely realized what was happening until Lantash's mouth was on his, and fire tore the back of his throat.

He was back in the present.

Jack gasped and shuddered; his back fell against some vertical surface he had not noticed; something restrained him; arms kept him from collapse; it was Teal'c. Martouf was steadying him as well.

"Colonel? Colonel?" he could hear Sam's voice above the rushing in his ears.

He was weak, and shaking, and sweating, and all he could think was Oh, God, I've got one of those things inside me! Get it out!

He thrashed wildly, but of course, there was nothing he could do.

Daniel stood back, watching him, mournfully.

Soon....Jack felt a reply from within, like a whisper, but cold.

Oh God....

"O'Neill, please," said Martouf.

Hathor.... Jack remembered the hostile Goa'uld she had put in him, remembered the confusion as it disrupted his thoughts, and the seething wickedness of the worm's preoccupations.

Shhhh, shhhh, he felt from inside. The trembling in Jack's body stilled, and his heart slowed abruptly. For a moment he was slightly faint. The change was too abrupt to be natural.

He felt a little rush of adrenaline, but it too subsided unnaturally quickly

Stop it, Lantash....he thought. He could neither control nor conceal his terror from the creature which now lurked within him.

Lantash's presence subsided, like an ocean swell over a shoal, fading as it returned to deep water.

Jack stopped struggling. Against Teal'c, it wouldn't do any good anyway.

"Take him back," he gasped to Martouf.

"He needs to rest. This was a difficult thing," said Martouf. Jack noticed for the first time some pallor in Martouf's face, and remembered Sam's depression after Jolinar died. Martouf was also suffering.

"How long?"

"We will not be able to estimate until we reach our base, where we can monitor him."

"How long?"

"Hours, days. I do not know if it could be weeks--a few, not many."

"How about now?"

"That would be a risk to you both."

"I'm willing to take it."

"Well I am not. Lantash is my symbiote, and my friend. I won't allow you to risk his life in this fashion."

Jack looked at his team-mates, and saw the same expression on each. 'He's right,' the faces all said.

"Is there some way you can knock me out till he's gone?" he asked Martouf.

Martouf looked up at Sam, "Is there?"

"I don't know enough about the drugs to do that safely. What about Lantash?" asked Sam.

"He could do it, but to do so would mean even more intimate contact with the Colonel's mind," Martouf replied, "And I don't think you want that," he added.

"Damn right I don't," Jack replied.

"The answer to your query appears to be 'no'," rumbled Teal'c. He had shifted to the side, so that he could watch the Colonel's face without releasing him. Jack was about to snap something to him about stating the obvious when he caught a trace of a smile on the Jaffa--another of Teal'c's odd, subtle jokes.

Jack did not feel like joking. He pushed against Teal'c's arms, which held firm. Then he remembered he was Goa'uld, and pushed harder.

He broke free. He'd pulled a few muscles; it hurt him to do so. But he did it.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, and lifted his chin.

"He'd better not stay long," Jack said to Martouf.

"Believe me, no one agrees with you more than I," Martouf replied.

"Then I want to be alone for awhile--if that's possible with this thing in my head," Jack growled.

Martouf and Teal'c made twins, nodding in deference to each side of him. He walked between the living bookends, and returned to his cot.

Some days it sucks to be me.

3/16/00