Here's the lyrics to all the theme songs.

In the not too distant future,
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different than you or me
He worked in a satellite loading bay,
Just polishing switches to pay his way
He did his job with a cheerful face,
But his bosses didn't like him,
So they shot him into space!

"We'll send him cheesy movies,
"The worst ever made
Joel says when you got lemons,
You make lemonade
Now keep in mind he can't control,
When the movies begin or end
Because he used those extra parts,
To make his robot friends

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot
Servo
Gypsy
Croooow

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000!

In the not too distant future,
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonics Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him,
So they shot him into space!

"We'll send him cheesy movies,
"The worst we can find (la-la-la)
"He'll have to sit and watch them all,
"And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Joel can't control,
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts,
To make his robot friends

Robot Roll Call: (Come on, let's go)
Cambot (Pan left)
Gypsy (Hi girl)
Tom Servo (What a cool guy)
Croooow! (You little wisecracker)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts (la-la-la)
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000!

In the not too distant future,
Way down in Deep 13
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank,
Were hatching an evil scheme
They hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe they didn't like
Their experiment needed a good test case,
So they conked him on the noggin,
And they shot him into space! ("GET ME DOWN!!!")

"We'll send him cheesy movies,
"The worst we can find (la-la-la)
"He'll have to sit and watch them all,
"And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control,
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity,
With the help of his robot friends

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot ("Show yourself")
Gypsy ("I'm not ready")
Tom Servo ("Hi-ho-there")
Croooow! ("That's one 'O'")

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000!

In the not too distant future,
Way down in Deep 13
The evil Dr. Forrester,
Was hatching a nasty scheme
He hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe he didn't like
His experiment needed a good test case,
So he conked him on the noggin,
And he shot him into space! ("GET ME DOWN!!!")

"I'll send him cheesy movies,
"The worst I can find (la-la-la)
"He'll have to sit and watch them all,
"And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control,
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity,
With the help of his robot friends

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot ("Show yourself")
Gypsy ("I'm not ready")
Tom Servo ("Hi-ho-there")
Croooow! ("That's one 'O'")

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
Dr. Forrester: "Did I tell you my mother's here?"
For... MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000!

In the not too distant future,
Somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals,
Are caught in an endless chase
Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl,
Just an evil gal who wants to rule the world
She threw a few things in her purse,
And in her rocketship she hunts him,
All across the universe! ("I'll get youuu!")

"I'll send him cheesy movies,
"The worst we I find (la-la-la)
"He'll have to sit and watch them all,
"And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control,
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity,
With the help of his robot friends

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot ("You're on")
Gypsy ("Oh, my stars")
Tom Servo ("Check me out")
Croooow! ("I'm different")

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000!

In the not too distant future,
Somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals,
Are caught in a nasty place
They try to survive the wrath of Pearl,
Just an evil gal who wants to rule the world
From her castle below she sets her sights above,
Just to tourture all her captives on the Satellite of Love! ("Get me down!")

"I'll send him cheesy movies,
"The worst we I find (la-la-la)
"He'll have to sit and watch them all,
"And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control,
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity,
With the help of his robot friends

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot ("You're on")
Gypsy ("Oh, my stars")
Tom Servo ("Check me out")
Croooow! ("I'm different")

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
And other science facts (la-la-la)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax".
For... MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000!

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