| Jedi Master Yoda is considered by many to be the greatest example of devotion to the Light Side of the Force. Although he appears to be a venerable member of the Jedi Council, little information is known about his life prior to his 650th birthday. That in itself is disturbing enough to warrant an investigation. Unfortunately, there is much, much more to this sordid story of the so called "Little Green Jedi". Sitting on the Jedi Council, Yoda dispenses pearls of Jedi wisdom in a strange, backward manner. Could this be a deliberate attempt to confuse those who come to him for advice? Since Yoda has never offered an explanation himself, one can only wonder about his true motivations. Perhaps even more disturbing is the striking resemblance Yoda has to evil figures from history. A side-by-side comparison with Dr Evil reveals similar mannerisms. While Yoda has never revealed his race, it has never been much of a secret to the observant observer; Yoda is a troll. Trolls are inherently evil. There are even rumours that Yoda is a Treasure Troll, the most evil troll of all. Naturally, Yoda refuses to allow a physician to examine his abdomen for the characteristic Treasure Troll Jewel. Several Jedi Council Insiders told the Unnamed Planet that Yoda is indeed a Treasure Troll, and was banned from the Troll homeworld hundreds of years ago for heinous crimes against Trollkind. While so far the suspicion has been based on little more than speculation, the crack investigation team here at the Unnamed Planet has uncovered solid proof of Yoda's evil nature. An audit of Yoda's accounts shows that he has set aside a large amount of money into an out-of-sector bank account and has also purchased a chunk of real estate on a small swamp planet known as Dagobah. Are these the actions of an honourable Jedi Master? Yoda himself could not be reached for comment, but we did manage to interview some of the Jedi who are closest to Yoda: |
 Yoda, Jedi Master and alleged Master of Evil  Dr. Evil, a suspected Yoda conspirator  Captain James T. Kirk, scourge of the galaxy and another Yoda look-alike |
 Mace Windu: "I do not believe Yoda could be evil without me knowing." |
 Saesee Tinn: "..." |
 Ploo Koon: "..." |
 Yareal Poof: "I'm afraid Yoda will cut my skinny little neck in half! He is jealous of my tiny, tiny head and my silly name. POOF! Hehehehehehe!" |
