THE REAL THREAT TO OUR FLEET
Cylon ships may shoot down the occasional Viper but the real threat to our already meagre fleet seems to be our very own Captain Apollo. Over the course of the past year, he has crash-landed his ship over a dozen times, according to official records. That's more than five times as often as any other pilot in our history.
"It's the strangest thing I've ever seen," commented a fellow pilot who wished to remain anonymous. "It seems that as soon as we start our patrol, a group of Cylon appear, take a few pot-shots, and the next thing you know, ol' Apollo has a fuel line hit, or something, and is forced to crash-land on a nearby planet. Then the rest of us spend all our time risking our necks to try and save him."
Another pilot, also wishing to remain anonymous, added, "You'll notice he also always gets hit in some minor area of the ship. Never anything life threatening; just enough of an inconvenience that he has to crash land, ruin his ship, and call for help. Sounds suspicious to me."
The commander of the Galactica declined to comment, and Captain Apollo himself was unavailable to answer questions, being stuck on a swamp world after crashing his Viper.
