Editorial - The World is Full of Stupid People
It's true. We all know it. We try to be polite about it. Let's just come right out and say it: Stupid people are taking over. Now, you may be tempted to call them idiots, or losers, or any one of a hundred assorted epithets, but that is inaccurate. Stupid is what stupid is. We can see many examples of how the stupid have affected our society.
Emergency phone lines are tied up because many people are inadvertently calling 911. On the surface, this sounds quite stupid. How could so many people call 911 by accident? Unfortunately, the cause of the problem is worse than simple dialing errors. Apparently, the errant calls are made because many people put 911 on their speed dial. Let me repeat: Many people put 911 on their speed dial. I'm not kidding. Come on now, people! How stupid can you be? What is the point of having 911 on speed dial? Are these people worried that...no, I won't say it...I won't say such a stupid thing...oh, fine, I'll say it: Are these people worried they'll forget the number for 911? Or, more amazingly, that they will forget the number for 911 BUT REMEMBER THE SPEED DIAL NUMBER THAT WILL DIAL 911? When someone puts 911 on speed dial, they must be imagining something like the following scenario happening:
-"Honey, quick! Grandpa's having an attack! CALL 911!"
-"I can't remember the number because I'm in such a panic!"
-"Neither can I, but don't worry because even though I don't remember the number for 911, in my panicked state I still remember that I put 911 on speed dial #4, between Aunt Helen and the Pizza Hut!"
-"Hooray! We're saved!"
Inadvertently doing things to inconvenience the rest of us isn't the tip of the iceberg. Stupid people cause the most problems due to the fact that, like little children, someone else has to look out for them. And also like little children, they usually don't take direction very well. Let's examine a fact most of us know: In many lands, the law says you have to wear a helmet to ride a bicycle. This makes sense, right? It's a good law, that's for sure. So what's the problem? Think about this for a second. Think hard. THEY HAD TO MAKE IT A LAW! People were too stupid to protect their skulls so the government had to FORCE them. Let's not forget the anti-smoking campaigns, either. Now, no one's saying we shouldn't inform people and especially kids about the dangers of smoking. The surprising fact is that they don't seem to be listening. If you were thinking of starting smoking, wouldn't your first clue that you were making a bad decision be the warning from the Surgeon General on the box? Of course, that's assuming you never noticed to noxious fumes that emanate from a burning cigarette. People go through great lengths to avoid that smoke, while others happily breathe in as much as they can. Now as I type this, I know I'm going to get a flood of e-mails from smokers saying, "It's my right to smoke, so lay off!" Well, it's your right to drive a nine inch nail into your forehead, but I call that stupid, too. What amazes me about stupid people is that they usually don't bother arguing whether their behaviour is stupid or not; they just defend their right to be stupid. This leads us into the subject of stupid people and the law.
As mentioned above, in order to keep out of trouble stupid people need to be told what to do, and they usually don't like it. On top of this, they'll raise hell if something does happen to them. Stupid people have the incredible ability to believe that nothing can ever truly be their fault. Not only does this result in our courts being jammed, but it results in all sorts of warning labels and disclaimers which irritate the living daylights out of every thinking person on the planet. I bought one of those cardboard windshield screens that are supposed to keep your car from spontaneously combusting in the hot sun. To my mild surprise, it had a warning written in big red letters: WARNING! DO NOT DRIVE VEHICLE WITH SUNSCREEN IN PLACE. I'm not kidding. Apparently the manufacturer was worried that some dolt would block out his windshield with cardboard and then attempt to drive his car. However, it gets worse. Much worse. Products like shoes and clothes are usually packaged with a little paper bag labelled:"Dessiccant DO NOT EAT." Granted, these things are about the size of a sugar packet, but what idiot eats something he found in a shoebox? More importantly, what idiot decides to eat something he found in a shoebox, but reads the label and changes his mind? I'm sorry, but if you're stupid enough to think your new pair of Nikes came with a free sugar sample, I doubt you'd possess the intelligence needed to read and comprehend the words "DO NOT EAT".
Stupid people are everywhere, that is clear. It is important they are stopped from over-running our society. What can YOU do to stop them? The next time you see someone do something stupid, walk up to them, look them right in the eye, and yell, "THINK!". Let that be our battle cry. Thinking people of the world: UNITE! Stomp out ignorance and laziness which breeds stupidity. Read a book. Build something. Use your mind before it rusts. That is all.
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