The Cantina Slashing
Official Word:
Ponda Boba and Dr. Evazan accosted Luke Skywalker, then pulled out blasters. Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi acted in self defense by slicing off Ponda's arm.
Ponda Baba:
So, you think you know the story of how I lost my arm in the Mos Eisley Cantina? Heard all about how I was being some sorta bully? Well, let me set the record straight.
First of all, I wasn't there to meet my fence after stealing ashipment of iridium ore. Truth is, my speeder broke down outside and I just came in to call AAA and wait for the tow truck to arrive, that's all. So, anyway, I'm wating there at the bar and the bartender says I have to order a drink, so I ask for the house special.
While I'm waiting for my drink, this scruffy weasel-faced guy sits down next to me and starts telling me all about how he's got the death sentence on twelve systems. Whatever, I wasn't impressed; it was probably for his breath, if anything. All of a sudden, the bartender's shouting at this guy to leave his droids outside. I look over and realise it's my friend Owen's son, Luke.
Well, Luke looks around, seems to be really kinda wide-eyed and a little nervous, and then sits down next to the weasel-faced guy. About this time, my drink comes.
I take one sip and nearly regurgitate the contents of my fourth stomach. Then I overhear Luke telling the bartender he'll have what I'm having. I immediately rush over to tell him that the stuff is gross. Unfortunatley, I'm still gagging on the drink myself.
Then all of a sudden Weasel-Face gets up, tells Luke that I said I don't like him, then gives him the whole death-sentence-twelve-systems speech. Before I can intervene, this old guy with a grey beard comes over and asks if he can buy Weasel-Face a drink. Then all of a sudden Weasel-Face throws Luke aside and starts going ballistic on the old man. I try and seperate the two, pleading for them to give peace a chance, and next thing I know, the old guy pulls out a lightsabre and chops my arm off!
Dr. Evazan:
Okay, first thing's first: I'm not some thug that sits on a bar stool all day causing trouble. I've got a job, got it? I'm a tow-truck driver, and I was working that fateful day. I got a call that there was a broken-down speeder by the Cantina. I pull up in front see the speeder sitting there, smoke coming out from under the hood. I go inside to find the owner.
I walk over to the bar to ask the barkeep about the speeder, and this weird guy, wearing a day-glo orange jacket mind you, comes up and starts chatting. Next thing I know I'm sharing with him my vast knowledge of interstellar law, and I explain how death sentences are carried out in various star systems. Then I remember what I'm there for, so I try to get the barkeeper's attention. He's too busy getting a drink for the guy in the orange vest. So he finishes with the drink, and before I can ask him, Orange Vest starts gagging and choking like he's drinking Shwepp's, or something.
Not only that, but he gets up, walks over to the guy sitting to my right, and starts gagging in his face.
Trying to be helpful, I say, "Maybe he doesn't like you!"
Well, this guy, in his loose white getup, just scoffs and doesn't seem worried. I tell him to just watch himself, then to break the tension I start talking about my vast knowledge of interstellar law again. He scoffs some more, and I warn him if he doesn't learn interstellar law, he could wind up dead.
Then (and here's where the story gets kind of strange) this old man with brown robes walks over. At first, I think; great, another person to share my vast knowledge of interstellar law with. But then he points at the guy in white and says, "This little one isn't worth the effort. Come, let me get you something to drink."
Well, that's a pick-up line if I ever heard one, and I certainly don't swing that way, so I pushed the guy in white safely out of the way and started my attack on the old guy. He starts doing a Kung-Fu move, and it looks like we're going to have a real good rumble.
Then, all of a sudden the guy with the orange jacket jumps into the fray, gagging in everyone's face. So the old man pulls out a blue laser and shoots his arm off. Freaked out, I turn and run for it. Now, how was I at fault here?
Conclusions:
Looks like the "noble" Jedi Master, after having a few drinks, decided to push around a few of the locals. Undoubtedly he used his many political ties to cover up the facts. A clear-cut case of justice turning a blind eye.
