Right... another one that came to me in a dream. I don't know WHY I wrote this down... I'm sure there WAS a reason originally, but anyway, this is my first attempt at "Jonathan Creek" fanfic, so be nice. Email any feedback and flames (preferably cold flames :P) to Maddy_Magellan@magicspell.com.
(The scene is set in Adam's dressing room. He is talking to Jonathan pre-show, while applying stage makeup.)
(At Maddy's flat, he knocks on the dot and hears her voice from within:) It's open. (He goes in and sees her sitting on the sofa, clutching one of the cushions. She looks upset, possibly tearful.)
Phew, that was a hellish experience… never ever EVER again do I attempt this, even though the idea of a mushy one is VERY tempting… NO! Nononono! Fight it! Anyway, that's it. Get out of here while you still can, before another fic emerges!
ADAM: So you're sure this'll work tonight?
JONATHAN: Yes, Adam, for the last time, it'll work tonight!
ADAM: Well I just want to be sure.
JONATHAN: Just because we had a few glitches in rehearsal doesn't necessarily mean-
ADAM: An assistant losing her hand isn't a glitch, Jonathan.
JONATHAN: She didn’t lose her hand, she cut her finger. Relax. (A couple of bell rings indicate that it's time for him to go on.)
ADAM: You'd better be right, or I'll have your hand. (He gets up, straightens his false moustache and beard, then heads out to the stage. Jonathan follows him and the show begins with an elaborate illusion. Jonathan watches, ever cautious, from the wings. Suddenly, both he and the audience leap out of their skins as there is an explosion. However, he knows about the explosion - it's his phone ringing that makes him jump. He wanders to a different area of backstage to answer it.)
JONATHAN: Jonathan Creek. (A familiar voice answers.)
MADDY: (VO until specified) Jonathan? Is that you?
JONATHAN: Of course it is.
MADDY: Where are you?
JONATHAN: At the show.
MADDY: Can you get round here? (He notices something in her tone of voice that's almost desperate.)
JONATHAN: Yes. What's wrong?
MADDY: Just… come round here. Please. (He looks vaguely puzzled, turns off his phone, and leaves Adam to it.)
JONATHAN: Hello.
MADDY: Sorry. I don't know why I called really.
JONATHAN: It's all right, I wasn't doing anything… Just watching Adam's back. (He stops that trail of thought.) Shall I sit down. (She nods.)
MADDY: Thanks for dropping everything. (He sits opposite her, still not quite sure what to make of it all.)
JONATHAN: I think he can look after himself. So… why am I here? (She just looks at him for a long time before answering - perhaps she's up to something. He can't tell.)
MADDY: Well, I don't have anything baffling to tell you, no amazing mysteries for you to solve with your logical brain. (Pause.) But you're the only one I can think to talk to about this.
JONATHAN: (Rather loudly, almost annoyed on impulse at her reluctance to tell him.) Well for goodness' sake tell me then! God, it's like pulling teeth with you sometimes! (She flinches at his shouting, so he lowers his voice. Evidently something is very wrong and it'll take a lot for her to tell him. She's looking away from him, clearly caught off-guard.) Maddy?
MADDY: (That did the trick - she looks back at him in mild, almost upset shock. She's never heard him use her name directly before [or at least we've never heard it - remind me to check on that!]. She doesn't point this out.) I'm just being silly really.
JONATHAN: (Trying reverse psychology:) Should I go? (he gets up to leave, she panics.)
MADDY: No. Stay. I'll tell you. That's why I called you here. (He sits again.) Don't really know how to start. (Pause.) I suppose I just ought to tell you as it is. Get it out into the open. I just found out that… (she trails off.)
JONATHAN: What?
MADDY: (She decides to try a different approach.) You know about what happened to me when I was seventeen. I didn't really want you to know, but it's just as well you found out, because it'll make this easier to explain. After all that, with my mother, well, I had nowhere to go. Luckily for me, when I came here, there was this lady, she was in her fifties then and she took me in, saw me through my journalism degree and eventually helped me find a job and a place to live. She was like a second mother to me, a teacher and a friend all rolled into one person. We wrote to each other ever since. Of course, she'd been slowing down recently because of arthritis, it's to be expected. (She starts getting tearful.) And this morning, I got a letter saying… well see for yourself. (She indicates an envelope on the table. Jonathan reaches over to get it and grabs a tissue for her as well. She blows her nose as he reads.)
JONATHAN: Oh. I can see why you're upset.
MADDY: I know, I'm being stupid. It's not like we were family or anything… I mean, that letter is from her son. She never told me she had a son! It's just… (she trails off again.)
JONATHAN: I know. (He doesn't have a clue what to do next.) Are you all right?
MADDY: What does it look like? (She looks decidedly annoyed at him.)
JONATHAN: I'm not very much use here really. (Oops, that did it. She's momentarily forgotten her tears.)
MADDY: Not much use? That's an understatement! You're about as useful as a fish in a canal! I did call you over for a reason!
JONATHAN: What?! As a sounding board!?
MADDY: No. Actually.
JONATHAN: WHAT, THEN!!! (She glowers at him murderously.) It's a good job I'm not on a deadline!
MADDY: Oh do tell me if my personal grief is keeping you from your precious show! (Pause.) In fact you can just go, now, sod off! (He gets up.)
JONATHAN: Fine. (He walks out and slams the door. She winces. A few seconds later the phone rings. She contemplates it and then answers.)
MADDY: Yes?
JONATHAN: What is it you wanted me for?
MADDY: I just needed someone here, Jonathan… some comfort, a hug, anything. That's all. Just something to make it feel less terrible than it actually is. Is that too much to ask? (No reply.) Jonathan? (The phone goes dead. She looks even more upset, certain that she's ruined it completely. Then there's a knock at the door and she practically runs to open it. It's him, naturally, and they both look rather sheepish. She lets him in and goes to sit back down again, leaving him to close the door. After what seems like an eternity, he moves around to her side of the sofa and crouches to look at her.)
JONATHAN: Sorry about that.
MADDY: Yes, well, we can't expect you to get everything right first time. (Reading half of his look before he gets a chance to finish it.) Sorry, sorry. I'm being a bitch again.
JONATHAN: No, you're just being you. I should be used to it by now. (I think that'll probably be the sweetest thing he'll ever say to her. I've suddenly got the urge now to write another one... a really, really mushy one... but I won't, this one was bad enough. There is an uncomfortable pause, then she catches sight of the letter and starts off again. He finally [hallelujah!!!] gets the idea and awkwardly hugs her, standing them both up. She sniffles.)
MADDY: Thank you.
JONATHAN: 'Sall right. Just a favour. (He's JUST getting the hang of it, when the phone rings again.)
MADDY: Who the-? (She breaks away to answer it.) Hello? (We hear some muttering and the word 'solicitors') Oh. (Something about a 'will') Right. (More muttering.) Yes. Thank you. Goodbye.
JONATHAN: Problem?
MADDY: No, not really, that was the solicitor. He says she's left me her house in her will.
JONATHAN: Wow.
MADDY: "Wow" is right, that place is huge. I feel really overwhelmed now. The rest of the family have asked me to go to the read-out. I don't think I'll cope… (He's getting it now, and moves in to hug her again.)
JONATHAN: I'll go with you… if you want. (She smiles and pulls back to face him.)
MADDY: Thanks. (The awkwardness descends once more.)
JONATHAN: I guess I ought to be going back. Adam'll be wondering where I am.
MADDY: Yes, sorry, I forgot about that. You can go if you like. I feel tons better now.
JONATHAN: Good. I'll be off then. (He still hasn't let go of her.)
MADDY: Yes. (Something's gonna happen, it's like a klaxon going off!)
JONATHAN: Better go.
MADDY: Mm-hmm. (After an agonising pause, with the audience [i.e. you, the poor reader who is being subjected to this dren] defying gravity on the edge of their seats, they make an executive decision and… well think "The Constituted Corpse"… no, "House of Monkeys", it was cuter. A combination of the two. Basically "YESSS!". They carry on oblivious as her answering machine picks up Adam's irate cries of "Jonathan, you're in BIG trouble!"…)
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