"Red Dwarf" quotes

"Oh smeg... what the smegging smeg's he smegging done? He's smegging killed me!"

--Lister, in Rimmer's 'body, "Body Swap". What must be the greatest line ever!

"Is that a cigarette you're smoking, Lister?"
"No, it's a chicken."

--Rimmer and Lister in the Pilot, "The End"

"Yes Dave, everybody is dead, everybody-is-dead-Dave."

--Holly in "The End". Typing it cannot do it justice.

"I'm gonna eat you little fishie, I'm gonna eat you little fishie, I'm gonna eat you little fishie, cos I like eating fish!"

--The Cat in "Better Than Life" Should have been a hit single alongside "Tongue-tied" :)

"Fish!"
"Today's speciality is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal."
*repeat 4 more times, pause*
"Fish!"
"Today's speciality is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal."
"I will!"

--Cat and the food dispenser in... damn, some time in RD1.

"You're a smuhhhh heeee."

--Kryten in "Camille".

"D'you think Wilma's sexy?"
"Yeah." [Actual line forgotten, sorry.]
"Oh good, I thought I was going strange."
*then...*
"What do you think about Betty?"
"I could go with Betty... but I'd be thinkin' of Wilma."
[Rest also forgotten.]

--Lister and the Cat while watching "The Flintstones"

I used to know so many of these... I'm slipping. Well it's been about 5 years since I was obsessed. That's my excuse.

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