by: Raven Chance Deacastra

This is a happy story don't let the title fool you.

I am dedicating this story to Aunty M. who I am forever indebted to for sending me a tape of Resolutions. I watched it about fifty times when I got it then I had to write a story......

Disclaimer: Not mine I only wish.

rating: NC-17~ J/C ~

extra warning here..... it is only my second smut forgive me any blunders. thanks always to my sister Kadi for editing out my many gramatical blunders.....

Tears

I finish telling her the legend of the Angry Warrior. Her eyes glisten with tears waiting to escape, and I know she does not want to let them flow free. But two slip unbidden down her right cheek. I reach over and clasp her hand within mine, to hold on to her and let her know I understand. My other reaches up to wipe the tears from her face. My fingers linger, tracing her jaw line, I expect her to pull away, but her hand reaches out to mine and together we hold one another, both staring into the others eyes, reading the soul of the one who captured our hearts.

We stayed like that for over an hour then our bodies told us we needed sleep. I did not want to let her go but I knew I should not push it. She would let me know on her own time when she wanted to take the next step. For now I would be happy in the knowledge that she knew my feelings and in some part of her she has not yet let go to return them.

It was two more weeks before we took the next step. For two weeks we grew closer. I would often take her down to the river and we would have a picnic and tell tales of our childhood. I learned she was very mischievous as a child. One night I noticed her neck bothering her again. Much like the night I first set my hands upon her sore shoulders, I rested them there again but this time she relaxed into my touch. When I swept her long hair to the side to expose her long graceful neck, I could imagine the little bumps I would raise on her neck with a few slow kisses to her exposed skin. But I refrained and gently massaged her shoulders. I was taken by surprise when she got up out of her chair much the same as before, but when she turned to face me this time it was with love in her eyes, not doubt.
<><><><><><><><>change of POV<><><><><><><><><><>
I knew I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him since the first day he eased my shoulders of the stress built in them, and when we stood in the woods together, me in nothing but a towel, and him staring like a starving man seeing food for the first time. He looked forlorn when I reached to pull it up to hide my body from his eyes. I have never hid from anyone or anything but with him I hide too much. I knew I loved him, I was just afraid to show him. But tomorrow It will end differently. I Kathryn Janeway have come to the conclusion, I love my best friend and former first officer, and I want us to become lovers.

I want us to share our bodies as we already share our hearts. He has given so much for us and I have done nothing but take. Well It is about to change. I will make the next step tomorrow and hopefully the rest of our lives together will start.

Chakotay had been swimming in the lake nearby when he noticed it had started to get dark. He was not at all sure what he had seen in Kathryn's eyes last night when he had rubbed her shoulders; she had turned squeezed his arm and leaned up to kiss his cheek before walking to her bed. Then earlier today she had asked if he would mind giving her a few hours alone tonight. She was probably uncomfortable and just making some minor adjustments so we would have more privacy in the shelter. As he got closer to the shelter he noticed only very faint light coming from the open doorway. Stepping inside he looked around, and saw that she had indeed made changes. The floor was littered with flower petals and there were candles glowing on all the surfaces.

"Kathryn? are you here?"

"Chakotay I am over here."

He hesitated. Her voice sounded like it came from his side of the cubicle, but why would she be in his room? Following her voice and the row of petals he peaked around the divider to peer inside. What he saw made his breathe catch. Kathryn was laying in his bed. More aptly put, she was lounging on top of his bed. Her body was barely covered in a light green gown that looked to have been made out of the sheerest of gossamer, the color catching the candle light and reflecting off the contrasting dark blue comforter. He did not believe his eyes. He had to shake himself again to make sure he was seeing this.

She was reclined against several pillows made of the same material of the comforter, her long red hair fanned out behind her with a few tendrils trailing down her sides just barely covering her nipples which seemed determined to peak out through the gown.

"Well are you coming in or not?"

"I...I ... Um Kathryn? What is this?" His body had already told him what he was seeing and it was responding, but his brain was not allowing him to be so easily lured. Her face fell but only for a second with a determined look reserved for staring down nervous ensigns, she slowly walked towards him drawing his eyes to hers with each step forward. It had been too long for her, she wanted this more than she would admit.

She longed for the feel of a powerful male chest pressed against her and the thrust of him taking her to her peak and riding the waves over while he plunged into her. To feel his release knowing she caused such a strong sexual reaction in him. She craved Chakotay, she always had but never admitted it. Until now.

She stopped right in front of him just barely invading his personal space. Sliding her fingertips from his hand where it held his shirt up, over the muscles of his forearm to his shoulder around to the back of his neck , she pulled his head closer to her. Chakotay thought she was going to kiss him instead she purred in his ear... "Tonight the warrior will know peace."

His startled look gave way to understanding as he remembered the legend he had told her. Could this be happening? Could his Kathryn really mean to let him into her life? Kathryn stood back a little to allow him to fully comprehend her words, but stayed near enough where her breath could reach out and caress his bare skin with each exhale. When his eyes met hers again he saw only love and desire. He could feel his heart lunge as his brain registered everything.

He reached out with his hand reminiscent of a move made a few nights earlier, but this time his hand smoothed down her neck to cup her under her chin and raise her lips to his. He gently kissed her parted lips, slowly urging her tongue in a duel with his, and soon they were both gasping for breath.

She pulled away first, her hand drifting towards the fastener of his pants. His hand stopped her and his words soothed her worries. "Not yet. I have wanted you for too long, I want to make it last, I want this to be for you, you have chosen to give me something precious and I want to return the favor. Please trust me, I would not last long if your hands continued that exploration."

Kathryn had a tear in her eyes at his soft words. Never had any of her lovers, though there had not been many, been so considerate and giving.

Easing her to sit on the bed he knelt between her parted legs.... his hands resting on her thighs his lips tasting the skin of her neck. Chakotay slid his hands slowly up her sides tracing along the curve of her breasts allowing his fingers to lightly graze the soft mounds before fully cupping them in his palms through the thin material she wore. Her nipples became even harder as his thumbs slid back and forth, the friction of the material and the heat of his palms puckering them into hard little pebbles.

Trailing his mouth down her throat, his tongue darted out to taste each centimeter of skin on down over the rise of her breasts. Then his hands suddenly cupped and pushed her breasts together burying his head between the valley created and feasting on her flesh. The gown she wore was beautiful but it was in the way. Looking up at her face he gave one of his infamous full dimpled grins. His hands slid the knot at her waist apart, sliding his hands and pushing it away from her skin where he could have full unhindered access to her beauty. His gasp was more of a strangled release of air as he finally set his eyes upon what he had only dreamed about until now.

He longed to taste the site before him, he wanted to feed on her flesh, that to him reminded him of an old fashioned ice cream sundae. The white satiny flesh of her breast two perfect mounds of sweetened ice cream, the areola likened to the rich chocolatey fudge sauce and her nipples, her nipples where they pebbled from the cool air were like two perfect cherries, waiting to be sucked into his mouth. This was one dessert he planned on savoring. His tongue darted to moisten his lips. His instinct to suckle them till she moaned was strong as he began tracing them with his tongue and pulling them with his lips. Her back arched and her fingers ran through his hair pushing at the back of his head to bring his mouth closer to her flesh, soft sighs escaping her lips and tendrils of pleasure coursed through her body in sweet agony to her loins. His lips finally left their play and blazed a trail down her stomach his tongue dipping into her navel eliciting a sharp outcry from her that sounded more humorous than amorous...his Kathryn was ticklish....that could be handy later but now he was only interested in hearing her cries of pleasure not laughter.

His hands splayed over her thighs parting them to allow his mouth to kiss down first the right side to her knee and then return up the left. He could smell the evidence of her arousal, her mound covered by a soft down of red hair some already wet with anticipation. He quickly darted his tongue out to taste her not lingering but just enough to warrant a response, she tasted slightly tangy like a sweet tart. He buried his head to nuzzle her fully his tongue finding quickly the little bundle of nerves and latched itself to it. Pulling it into his mouth and sucking greedily.

Her low groan of approval ebbed him on as he sucked hungrily wringing out another set of impassioned moans. He raised his head to look into her half lidded eyes. Smiling in satisfaction at her sigh of disappointment with the absence of his mouth. His fingers continued the torture his mouth had left off, tangling in the nest of curls that hid her from him. Slowly teasing her opening, dipping first one then two......tempting her muscles to respond to his gentle intrusion. Kathryn could stand no more with her hands she grabbed his arms and pulled him up towards her causing them both to fall backwards on to the bed. He fell on top of her with a laugh, "Impatient are we?"

"No, I have waited too long. It is my turn now." Kathryn rolled them till she was straddling his chest her hands running over his shoulders down his arms. Her hands were mesmerized with the feel of his skin. Her gaze steady with his as her hands roamed lower to caress the smooth contours of his chest lightly pinching his nipples in revenge. She moved her body lower, her sex gliding over his barely touching but leaving a dampness, proof of her arousal. He hissed out a breath when her fingers grazed his arousal. Lightly drawing her nails up his length coming together at the head then sliding her hand back down stroking him to distraction. Her grin was mischievous as she bent her head and kissed his inner thigh biting only hard enough to leave a faint mark then kissing it to soothe the sting. He had just closed his eyes when he felt her warm mouth closing over the end of his penis. With each swirl of her tongue and slide of her mouth he jerked and swelled harder in her mouth.

Chakotay could feel himself tightening painfully his testicles were rock hard, he was so close but he wanted their first time to be together. He reached down and pulled her up so their faces were inches apart, then reversing their positions his hand traveled to test her readiness. "Kathryn, I want to go slow... I can't hold out much longer but I don't want to hurt....."

She silenced him with a finger across his lips, " Don't worry you won't, but if you don't hurry I will hurt you." She said it with such conviction and sincerity he wasted no more time.

He grinned at her impatience and ran a hand down her body. Finding her more than ready for him he plunged into her warm satiny sheath making them both gasp. It was hard for him to still his movements and allow her to adjust to him, but it was Kathryn who made the first move, tensing her inner muscles around him. The urge to buck against him was overwhelming. She wound her legs tighter around his waist and thrust her hips to meet his and was rewarded with another deep thrust before his pace sped up bringing the tightness in her groin to a breaking point but not releasing her. His lips traveled to nip at her neck while his hand stole down to tease her nipples. Pinching the ridged peaks just enough to make her back arch. Bringing the taught peaks within easy reach of his hungry mouth. As his thrusts grew harder and faster her moans grew in stereo letting him know this was exactly how she wanted it. Her nails raked up and down his back, her teeth sinking into the flesh of his shoulder as her first orgasm sent massive tremors racing through her body. "Oh God, Chakotay! Oh ... you feel so... Oh please.. oh god, yes......"

Her cries were becoming erratic as her body quickly spiraled upwards again this time the clenching of her walls milking him to his own release. He collapsed at last rolling so as to not squish her with his body's weight. Cuddling her close to him their limbs still intertwined as they drifted off to sleep. His face nuzzled in her hair a smile on his lips.

***

Early the next morning, stretched out on the bed a figure sleeps, oblivious of the man watching her, caressing her with his eyes where a few hours ago his hands touched her skin in a heated frenzy. She stirs and turns her head to where he can no longer look upon her features, but he has no need, her face is forever burned into his memory. He will see the face of the woman behind the captain's mask, there will always be just Kathryn, who looked at him with eyes filled with passion and strength, a mouth with its one sided grin looking at him after a joke, and hair that spread out like a flame against the cool green satin sheets she now slept on.

"Are you having fun?"

"I knew you weren't asleep."

"Sure you did." One corner of her mouth lifted in that lopsided grin. "So what were you doing?"

"Memorizing."

"Memorizing? you act like you will never see me again." "Really? Freckles?"

"Yes, they are like little cinnamon sprinkles dusted over a sweet...." his lips kissed the freckles on her shoulders..... "smooth....." he trailed to her chest and lavished attention on every speck from her neck to her breasts. "creamy dessert," his grin was contagious and... I... plan... on... enjoying... each... ...and ...every... one." He punctuated each word with a playful nip at her freckles.

"You have your entire life to do that."

"You mean it?"

Kathryn leaned up on her elbows. " Chakotay when I told you last night you would finally find peace I meant it.....peace forever....with me. You stole my heart and I am not going to let you give it back."

"Never. you're mine now."

"Well I can't give you orders anymore but I suggest you kiss me before I ....." She never got to finish her sentence but neither cared, they spent the rest of the morning in each others arm."

Fin~~~~~~~~~