SPECIAL THANKS TO: Scott Williams for helping me edit this story.
RATING: PG
FOLLOW ME HOME
By AgentSandy
Dani watched as Agent Sandoval walked to his wife's grave and laid the
roses that he was carrying on it.
She pulled her coat tighter around her, hoping to shut out some of
the rain that was falling, and waited.
Dani knew it was wrong to be jealous, but she still couldn't stop herself.
Every month since Ronald had
found out that Deedee had died, he had visited. She knew that
he was still healing, but Dani wondered if
maybe something was wrong-something besides the obvious. Dani
was concerned that he wasn't moving
on as she had once thought he was. Lately, he had become even
more silent and secretive to
everyone-even her and as his second in command, that was something
that shouldn't happen. Not if
Meridian was going to be able to continue in its mission.
<…And it's not like I haven't tried to talk to him about it.
He just won't talk, and I won't intrude on his
thoughts. God, sometimes it's hard to be a telepath! I
want to help, but I can't. Liam is worried too, but
Sandy won't talk to him either. He just says it's nothing.
Nothing, my foot.> Dani shivered as the rain fell
harder and she continued to watch the man she loved. She
knew he still loved Deedee, but she knew he
also felt for her. Dani sighed. It wasn't fair that his
life had been ripped to shreds as it had, but that
couldn't be changed. She just hoped he would be able to come
through this dark period without being
hurt too much….
Ronald gently touched the top of Deedee's headstone. For a moment
he felt the old pain just like the day
that he first found out about her real death. He wanted to scream,
but the feeling passed. He should be
grateful that he had Dani, but for some reason her presence wasn't
enough anymore. His recent dreams
about Deedee weren't helping. It was like his past was trying
to get even with him. If he wasn't dreaming
about Deedee, he was dreaming about the part he had in Kate Boone's
murder. Seeing the Commander
almost everyday wasn't helping either. Boone, Augur, and Liam
were slowly tracking down the members
of the Resistance that had survived the raid. Unfortunately,
they were scattered all over the world.
Because of that, Boone was constantly in Meridian Headquarters communicating
with them. It wasn't that
Ronald minded, he just didn't need the reminder about what he'd done
to Kate.
Ronald crouched by the grave and let his hand rest on the top of the
stone…<I'm scared Dee. Things
are getting out of control and I don't know what to do. I feel
so out of control. I'm afraid I may be losing
it and that scares me to death. So many people count on
me.> Ronald shut his eyes, refusing to let
himself even think about crying. < Is this my punishment Dee?
For all the pain I've caused? I guess I
deserve it, but I'm trying to help now. Doesn't that mean anything?>
Ronald noticed the rain become
harder and glance toward where Agent Long was standing. He could
see her shivering and his heart
ached. He shouldn't have let her come. Still, it made him
feel good to have her there.
Sandoval started to get up. As he did, the world started to spin
and a sharp pain went through his head.
He stumbled and went to his knees. <No, not now.
Please, not now.>
"Sandy!" Dani yelled as she ran to him.
As she reached him, Ronald let himself sink completely to the ground.
"Sandy what is it?" Dani tried to remain calm even though she
could see blood running from his ear.
"Not now," he whispered.
"Sandy?" Dani's voice was tight with fear. Then she realized
what was happening. "Oh God, it's your CVI
isn't it?"
He nodded, fighting the vertigo that was threatening to overwhelm him.
"Do you think you can walk?" She asked, praying for a miracle.
He started to reply no, but another wave of pain washed over him and
this time he couldn't fight slipping
into the darkness of unconsciousness.
When he went limp, Dani froze. A quick check told her that he
was still alive, but she knew she had to act
fast if he was going to stay that way. She pulled out her global
and shakily dialed Liam…
"So what do we do now?" Boone asked Liam as they watched Dani
sit by Sandoval's side. Ronald was still
unconscious, and looked to stay that way, but she refused to leave.
Liam shook his head, "You where there when he crashed before.
How long do we have?"
Boone shrugged, "This is different from last time because he's going
down hill a lot faster. I don't know if
it's because we altered the CVI or just because this is the second
CVI he's lost. At this rate, I'd say you
have about 24 hours."
"Great!" Liam's voice was tight. "How the hell am I going
to get a CVI that fast without letting Zo'or
know?"
Boone touched Liam's shoulder, "Easy kid, you'll find a way.
You always do, and I doubt you are going to
let you father down."
Liam just sighed.
" I know you can do it. I believe in you and," Boone turned and
pointed to the room where Sandoval and
Dani were, "so do they. I wish I could help, but they can't…"
"I know," Liam cut him off. "Go and get Augur and Belman.
I have a feeling we'll need them both."
Boone nodded and left the room.
As he did, Liam turned back to Dani and his father. She was holding
Sandoval's hand tightly and talking to
him. After a moment, he shut his eyes and hoped he wasn't about
to let them both down.
Dani was scared. She didn't need Boone or any doctor to tell
her that Ronald wasn't doing well. She
could sense it loud and clear from his mind. It was full of confusion,
fear, pain, and-what scared her the
most, a strong need to have all of it end permanently. Dani had
tried to telepathically calm him, but he, in
his confusion, had pushed her out. So now she was just talking
to him, hoping that her voice would calm
him down.
"I don't know if you can hear me, but you need to stay strong a while
longer, okay?" She shakily brushed
the hair from his forehead. "You know Meridian needs you.
Liam needs you and so do I. You've worked
too hard to get here to let a damn piece of Taelon technology take
you out now. Come on Sandy, fight!"
Dani held her breath a moment when she thought he stirred, but realized
that it was only her imagination.
She sighed and shook her head. She hated feeling helpless, but
the only people who could do anything
now were already doing it. Liam was getting the CVI-she hoped-and
Boone was getting Dr. Belman and
whatever equipment she needed.
Dani shifted slightly and then looked back down at Ronald. She
wasn't quit sure when she had fallen in
love with him…
<…but I did. Even though I was ready to hate him, I fell in
love. I was so angry when I was told I was
suppose to give up everything and prepare to go deep under for a 'long'
time. The Bureau said I should
have been honored to be picked by one of their best to be in on this.
Agg, the only reason I came was
because of what the Taelons did to my brother. Troy never deserved
to be an experiment. He was only
protecting me…
So I went and here I am second in command of Meridian, one of the FBI's
last ditch efforts to avert the
war that is threatening because of Zo'or's treatment of humanity.
Fifty of the best agents assigned to a
former agent and current Taelon Companion. When I walked in I was ready
to write him off. Then I
touched him and my psis latched on to his feelings. Wow, the
pain and hatred I felt were so intense. If I
were Zo'or, and I knew that my protector hated me that much, I'd be
running for the hills. Of course,
Sandy's as good an actor as he is an agent. We work together
so well-like two pieces of the same mind,
as he always says. I wanted to hate him, but couldn't anymore
than I could hate Troy for giving his life to
keep my psi abilities a secret. He should have listened
to me and not followed, but…>
Dani sighed, <blaming Troy for following his brotherly instincts
won't bring him back, and me getting upset
over old memories won't help Sandy either. > She shut her eyes
a moment in an attempt to clear her
head. Her eyes flashed back open when a soft voice said her name.
"You're awake," she smiled.
Ronald smiled slightly and whispered, "For now."
Dani squeezed his hand, "Relax. Liam's gone to get a replacement
CVI, and Boone is getting Dr. Belman."
For a moment a look of fear crossed his face, then it was gone, replaced
by his usual look of
determination. "I won't go back to that. I won't be a slave
again."
"You won't," Dani gently touched his face. "We, I, won't allow
it."
Sandoval nodded and let his eyes fall shut, "You know what to do."
Because his eyes were closed, Ronald didn't see the pain cross her
face. He could hear it in her voice,
though.
"Yes, I know." She whispered.
He squeezed her hand, "It'll be okay…"
When his voice trailed off into unconsciousness, Dani almost ran from
the room sobbing, but she couldn't
leave him alone. She knew their time was severely limited.
So, instead of leaving, Dani gently laid her
head on his chest and let the tears flow as she thought about the fact,
should they not be able to get an
altered CVI in time, she would have to let the man she loved die.
Liam sat at his desk thinking. He still had no idea how he was
going to get the CVI, and he knew he was
running out of time. He had considered just going in and stealing
one, but he knew that it would be very
hard to cover the theft up. Still, as he continued to draw a
blank as to what to do, that option was
becoming more and more attractive.
A sudden knock at his office door startled Liam out of his thoughts.
At first he was afraid that Zo'or had
noticed Sandoval wasn't around and wanted to know where he was.
Of course, Liam realized, Zo'or
wouldn't actually come to his office, he would have just buzzed him
via his global.
Liam opened the door and was surprised to see Te'el standing there.
Liam motioned the Taelon in and shut the door, "Is there something
wrong Te'el?"
"I was suppose to meet with Agent Sandoval this afternoon, but he did
not show and he is not answering
his global. Do you know where he is at Major Kincaid? This
is very unlike him, and I am concerned," Te'el
answered.
Liam looked surprised. As far as he knew, Sandoval's schedule
had been clear today. That meant that
this meeting with Te'el had been a secret one.
<Interesting,> Liam thought. <What where you two going
to talk about?>
Te'el looked at Liam when the Major remained silent. "Does that
mean that you do not know where he is
at?"
Liam was stuck. He didn't want to lie to Te'el-the Taelon reminded
him too much of Da'an, but he was
leery of telling him the truth. None of them knew if Te'el was
actually on their side or if he was just
playing with them.
"I'm afraid..," Liam started nervously, but stopped when Te'el held
up his hand.
"Do not lie to me, Major. It is his CVI, is it not? It
has become inoperative again," Te'el stated.
Liam opened his eyes in surprise and nodded.
Te'el turned toward the window of Liam's office, "I have been waiting
for this moment. You realize that
Zo'or has no intention of having Agent Sandoval re-implanted."
Liam shook his head. They had been afraid of that.
"So, I'm suppose to let him die?" Liam asked tensely.
Te'el turned back to Liam and looked him in the eye, "I did not say
that, did I? I feel that Agent Sandoval
is doing a good job. Therefore, I have talked to the Synod, and
they have transferred his services over
to me completely. Unfortunately, that means that you will
have to work under Zo'or. I believed that it
was something you would be willing to do if it meant saving your fellow
Agent's life. Was I wrong?"
He shuddered internally. Liam could almost swear that Te'el knew
that he would do anything to keep his
father alive…<but that's impossible. He can't know that Sandoval
is my father, can he?>
Te'el's voice cut into his thoughts. "Was I wrong in my assumption,
Major Kincaid?"
Liam shook himself out of his reverie, "No Te'el. You were right.
Did Zo'or accept this decision?"
"He had no choice since the Synod did. I was going to inform
Agent Sandoval of the change in his status
this afternoon, but he did not show up. May I assume that you
have him some place?" Te'el asked.
"Yes," Liam replied.
Te'el paused a moment and then whispered, "How is he?"
Liam was surprised at the concern in Te'el's voice. Did the Taelon
actually care for his father as Da'an
had cared for him?
"He's not doing well, Te'el. We estimate that he has less than
24 hours if I don't get a CVI," Liam
answered.
Te'el nodded and then handed Liam the box had been carrying when he
had entered the room, "I believe
that you will find all that you need in this. I wish you well
Major Kincaid. Please bring my attaché back to
me in one piece."
Liam took the box and just looked at it for a moment. He couldn't
believe the answer to his problems had
just fallen into his hands.
"Thank, thank you, Te'el," he stuttered, not quite sure what to say.
The Taelon nodded, "Just remember my request and good luck working
with Zo'or. I am afraid that you
will need it."
Liam watched, speechless, as Te'el left the room. Just how much
did the Taelon know about Sandoval and
himself? Liam thought for a minute, but then shook himself out
of it. He'd figure it out later. Right now he
had to get the CVI back to his father and hope that Boone had had as
good a luck getting Dr. Belman
back as he had had getting the CVI.
Dani didn't realize that she had fallen asleep until a hand on
her shoulder woke her up. She looked back
and saw Boone standing there. Behind him stood Augur and Dr.
Belman.
"You're back," She said tiredly.
Boone nodded as she stood up, "Any word from Liam?"
Dani shook her head, "We're running out of time."
"He'll pull it off, don't give up on him yet," Belman walked
over to Ronald's side. "Has he woke up?"
"Once, but only for a few minutes," Dani wrapped her arms around herself.
"That's bad, isn't it?"
Belman began to check him over, "Would have been worse if he hadn't
at all." She looked up as Dani and
then added, "You look almost as bad as he does. Have you
eaten anything?"
Dani replied negatively.
Dr. Belman shook her head and then turned to Augur, "Get her out of
here and get her something to
eat." Juliana then turned to Dani, "Go with him. I'll send
Will after you when I'm done or if anything
changes."
Dani wanted to stay, but, when Augur put an arm around her to lead
her out, she realized that she didn't
have the strength to argue. She let Augur lead her to the kitchen
area and watched as he began to fix
her some food.
"He's too stubborn to die like this, you know," Augur said after
a silence that had lasted several minutes.
"He can make a mule looking willing." When he got no answer
to his joke, Augur turned to look at Dani
and noticed that she was crying. He quickly shut off the stove
and sat down next to her, taking her
hands. "He'll be okay."
Dani shook her head, " You all say that, but you can't see his mind.
Part of him wants to die. Part of him
wants to leave the pain and be with her again."
"Her?" Augur asked, confused.
Dani pulled her hands away and stood up, turning away from him.
"Deedee," she whispered as if it were a curse.
For a moment, Augur was silent. He didn't know how to reply.
Computers were his thing, not humans and
all the messy emotions that came with them. He was about to say
something when she cut him off.
"I love him," she whispered. "I was so jealous when we found
out that Deedee was still alive. Of course, I
wanted him to be happy and he was so thrilled to find her alive...
I knew it was wrong, but the selfish part
of me was happy when she turned up dead for real. Of course,
I cursed her for the pain it caused him. I
shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. Each time I remembered
the long nights I spent up comforting him…
If I lose him to her now…"
Augur gently touched her shoulder and was surprised when Dani turned
around and buried her head
against his shoulder.
"I can't lose him now, Augur. I don't know what I'd do," she
cried.
Augur gently touched her head and looked for the right thing to say.
He was spared the need to answer
went her global went off.
Dani quickly moved away from him and wiped her eyes before answering.
It was Liam.
"I've got the CVI and am on my way. Is everything okay?"
He asked when he saw her tear-stained face.
Dani tried to smile, "As well as can be expected."
Liam nodded, "I'll be there in about 5 minutes."
Dani nodded and Liam signed off. She was about to speak, when
Boone entered the room.
"You'd better come quickly; Sandoval's crashing!"
Dani froze. Those were the words she had been afraid of hearing
since this whole thing had started.
<No, not now,> she thought as they ran from the room. <Not
when we are so close. Please, Lord, help
him hold on…>
Ronald didn't know what was exactly going on. He knew he wasn't
asleep, yet he seemed to be standing
on some kind of fantasy plane. It actually kind of fit the description
of the Astral Plane Dani had given him,
but…<That's impossible. I'm not a telepath. What's
going on?>
"Ronald," a soft voice said behind him and he turned around.
"Dee?" His voice was full of surprise.
She smiled softly, "Yes."
"But…" he started.
"You're dying my love," Deedee answered his unspoken question.
" Dying?" He looked around. "Is this..?"
Deedee smiled softly again and shook her head. "This is the Astral
Plane. Your mind pulled you here for
some reason. I'm here to lead you home."
Ronald shook his head, confused. "How? I'm not a telepath?"
Deedee started to answer, but stopped.
"What is it?" He asked when the look on her face changed.
When Deedee didn't answer, he turned around. Dani was walking
toward him.
"Dani, what's going on?" He asked.
Dani stared angrily at Deedee for a moment, and then looked at Ronald.
Her look softened as she spoke
to him, " I've got to say this is a bit of a surprise for me as well.
At times I suspected that you were a psi,
but I didn't think you were this strong of one."
"What?" Ronald's confusion deepened and he got angry. "This
is crazy! What's going on?"
Dani tried not to let his anger affect her, "You're mind has created
a copy of your wife. That isn't Deedee
you are talking to. It's just your uncontrolled psis reacting
to your subconscious wish to be with her."
"Dani, I'm not a psi. I would have known by now," Sandoval replied.
"Your powers have been mostly dormant until this point. Either
the CVI or some event from your past
could be the cause of the suppression of your abilities, but we will
probably never know for sure. I'm
almost willing to bet, though, that it wasn't Belman's alterations
on the CVI that caused it to deteriorate-it
was your psi abilities," Dani explained.
Ronald shook his head, "It doesn't matter. I won't go back
to being…"
"You don't have to! For some reason Te'el gave Liam a fully modified
CVI. It has no MI, and Belman even
thinks that somehow it's been changed so that it won't break down over
time. We are ready to implant it,
but you have to be stabilized first. Please, come back with me,"
Dani begged.
For a minute he just looked at her and then he turned back to his wife,
"Dee?"
"Don't you want to be with me, Ronald?" Her face saddened.
"Have you forgotten our love?"
"Sandy, please, she isn't real," Dani stated.
"I'm as real as our love, Ronnie," Deedee replied. "Will you
abandon me again?"
Sandoval shut his eyes and stiffened. His feelings of guilt were
almost overwhelming him. He wondered if
he deserved to die.
"Of course you do. I'm the one who never deserved to die," Ronald
whirled around when Kate Boone's
voice filled the air.
"I'm, I'm sorry. I was just doing…" His voice caught as tears
he couldn't control entered his eyes.
"Sorry doesn't give me my life or husband back! You took him
from me twice. You couldn't leave him
dead, could you?" She said angrily.
"Sandy," Ronald jumped when Dani touched his arm. When had she
gotten so close?
He looked at her through teary eyes, "What?"
She looked back at him, letting all of her love show through her eyes.
The gentle glow warmed him as he
thought nothing ever could have.
"I love you. Nothing, not your past or present or whatever happens
in the future will change that. They,"
she pointed to Deedee and Kate, "are the past, Sandy, but they are
trying to become your future. Don't
let your guilt take away all that you have worked so hard to create."
"My guilt?" He asked.
"Do you remember when Siobhan died? Liam said she mentioned something
about him defending her at a
trial. I'm guessing that when her CVI crashed, she put herself
on trail for the things she felt she had done
wrong. You're doing the same thing only it's so much more real
for you because you are an untrained
psi. Sandy, she found herself guilty and died. If you do
the same, you'll die too. Please, listen to me. She
didn't give herself a chance to change things-make right the wrongs
she felt she'd done. You can! You
are; you just need to give yourself more time."
Ronald looked at her. Could she be right? It made sense,
but…
"So that's it, Ronald?" Deedee spoke up. "You betray me
again?"
"Why shouldn't he? He's betrayed everyone else," Kate added.
Ronald shut his eyes again and Dani saw him shudder. They were
running out of time. She was about to
speak again when Ronald turned to face Deedee.
He sadly shook his head, "Now I know you aren't my wife. She
would want me happy, and she would never
accuse me of betraying her. She forgave me, I just never forgave
myself. Well, now I am. I'm sorry that I
let things come between us. I had no control, but that
is no excuse. I just hope what I'm doing now will
be enough to make things all right between us when we really meet again."
Deedee's face softened and she smiled, "Thank you, Ronnie. You
have needed to hear yourself say that
for a while. Good bye, my love. Until we meet in a better
place."
Ronald watched as she smiled one last time and then disappeared.
"That sappy crap won't work with me," Kate stated.
Ronald turned and smiled sadly at her. "I don't expect it to.
I don't know what to say to you. What I did
was wrong. Nothing will ever change that. As for
William, I am doing my best to do right by him. From
what I understand, he returned by his own choice. Dani couldn't
have brought him back if he hadn't been
willing to come back. Give me time, Kate. I'll do what
I can to make things better."
"All the time in the world won't give me my life back," she stated.
"No, but William has never forgotten you or his love for you.
In that way you will always live on," Ronald
replied.
Kate sighed, "That'll have to be enough won't it?"
"I'm sorry I can't do more. Maybe I'm just not quite ready to
completely forgive myself, but I won't let my
guilt stop me from trying," he stated.
She nodded, "Good luck, Agent Sandoval. Please tell Will I love
him."
Ronald nodded and Kate vanished just as Deedee had. He then turned
to Dani.
She smiled, "Are you ready to go home?"
"You just love being dramatic, don't you?"
William Boone sarcastically asked Agent Sandoval a few
weeks later.
Sandoval smiled and sat back in his chair. The two men were listening
to a report about a bombing that
had just destroyed a Taelon research facility. The bombing was,
of course, a Meridian operation.
"If you are going to do something, do it big," he replied.
Boone shook his head. Ever since his near death and discovery
of his psi abilities, Sandoval had become
almost a different person.
<…Or maybe he's just discovering who he really is again. Dani
said that he had faced his guilt and come
to terms with it-most of it anyway. She mentioned he still hasn't
forgiven himself completely for Kate's
death, but that's why I'm here. I just don't know how to…>
"Lets not talk about it now, Commander," Sandoval said.
"How'd…?" Will started.
Sandoval smiled, "I have to apologize. I still haven't gotten
the use of my psis down to an art yet. I'm just
glad that Dani's shielding can keep my abilities hidden from the Taelons
until I can completely control
them. You have been broadcasting your intentions ever since you
entered the room."
Will nodded. He wasn't surprised at all that Sandoval had picked
up on his thoughts. He had been pretty
focused on them.
"Did she say anything else?" Boone asked.
Sandoval picked up his jacket and stood up, " No, just tell him I love
him. Would it really have mattered
anyway? She was only a piece of my imagination."
Will shut his eyes, "I guess not, but…"
Sandoval cautiously touched Boone's shoulder, "I know. That's
how I felt when I saw Deedee. Perhaps we
could discuss it later-after my meeting with Te'el."
After a minute, Will nodded, "Yes, I would like that."
"Good, I have to go. We still aren't sure why Te'el helped us.
I'm going to try and see what I can get out
of him this afternoon," Sandoval replied.
Will smiled, "Good luck. If he is as much like Da'an as Liam
says he is, you will need it."
Later that night as Agent Sandoval crouched by his wife's grave, he
thought about how all this had
started…and ended. The things Te'el had told him were still running
over and over in his mind. The
implications were….well, they weren't exactly good. If what the
Taelon had told him could be believed,
humanity was in more trouble from a source that was already on Earth
than they could ever be from the
Jaridians.
<Well, Deedee, I got my wish. I'm here and I have the information
I need to change things. I just hope
that I can use it in time to save Humanity from the fate that other
species have suffered>…Sandoval
looked down at his arm as his skrill let out a hiss of agreement.
He gently touched Raven's back and the
hiss changed to a purr. He didn't know if it was the new CVI
or his psi abilities, but suddenly he was a lot
more aware of Raven's thoughts and wishes. The skrill itself
was also a lot more compliant to his thoughts
and wishes.
<And right now, he is agreeing with me. I'm not sure what
that means, but the support is appreciated. >
Ronald pulled out his watch, looked at it, and then stood up, giving
his wife's headstone one more gentle
touch.
<I've forgiven myself for what I did to you, Dee. > He thought.
<Now help me forgive myself for what I did
to William and Kate. I hope tonight will bring this chapter in
our lives to a close. I have a feeling that he,
Liam, and I will have to trust each other completely if we are going
to survive what is coming next…>