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Monday, November 15, 2010
The Used...
Mood:
 irritated
Now Playing: Stupid Girl - Cold
Listen, I know that I am quick to lend a sympathetic ear and to help work through whatever problems and worries you lay before me. I do this without reservation and without expectation of immediate recompensation. I do somewhat enjoy the role of guidance counselor as I believe that I am able to help people and guide them successfully through whatever they are experiencing. I take some pleasure in seeing people succeed having taken my advice to heart. Call it selfish, but the human being can not operate without taking something in for itself. However, it is becoming more and more clear to me that to most, I am nothing but a free counseling service. I'm something to be used and discarded like a dirty tissue. Once these selfish harpies have had their fill of emotional assistance, empathy, and time, they toss me to the curb without so much as a thank you. All I get from this is some lame, half-assed excuse. Thank you all for using me and making my heart all the more cold and bitter. Every insult, I close off just a bit more. Soon enough, I'll not have to worry about these kinds of things and I'll be able to live a relatively simple and carefree life. Sincere thanks for this assistance, I couldn't have closed myself off completly without repeated examples of why people simply aren't worth my time. From this day forward, a new policy is being leveraged:
Tits, or GTFO. ----------------
Disclaimer: I know this makes me sound like a horrid person, but I'm quite justified in this. If I'm just to be used, then I should get SOMETHING out of the deal. No more hand-outs. ---------------
Edit: Based upon some preliminary feedback, I might also accept being paid for services rendered. I might start an editorial column called "Dear Ph05", where everyone can have at me and I'll get paid, provided a paper picks me up.
Monday, November 1, 2010
On Going Viral...
Mood:
 cheeky
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Third Time's A Harm...
Mood:
 accident prone
Now Playing: On A Good Day [Remix] - Above & Beyond
This past Friday was a good friend's 22nd birthday. He does not drink, and he does not celebrate his birthday ever due to a personal tragedy that befell him on his birthday some years prior. So, in many regards, this day was a banner day as he was first celebrating his birthday, and also doing so with the intent to consume alcohol. Enter myself & the housemates. Due to varying circumstances, the housemates could not consume alcohol. In solidarity with my friend, I decide I shall consume as much as he had at this point to "match" and then keep up with him for the remainder of the evening. With this in mind, I set forth to consume about a half bottle of vodka mixed with red Hawaiian Punch in rapid succession (less than an hour). Needless to say, this put me far beyond my tolerance and I soon fell quite drunk. Shortly thereafter the alcohol I had consumed executed a No Prisoners Taken escape plan in three parts: Sink, out of the car window, and finally, home sink. The evacuation took over an hour; I'm quite surprised they all made it safely out of their prison. Anyway, this was the third time I have ever been drunk, and certainly the first time to the point where I was physically ill. I think I'll not do this again any time soon. Lesson learned? Drowning frustrations and sorrow in alcohol with convenient excuses as to your reason for drinking will lead to nothing but horrible chat-up lines being used, loud soul-searching confessions, damage to the clear coat on your car, and a sore diaphragm. If nothing else, Johnny The Rat introduced me to a few very cute and very confused girls. And Larry (The Liver), Keith (The Kidney), and Kenny (The Other Kidney) will surely be quite thankful I'll not pit them against one another in a race to detoxify my bloodstream. I'm sure what precious few brain cells are left kicking about will appreciate this decision as well. I'll need all I can keep to finish this thesis and get my life in order. None to spare.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
On Living Situations...
Mood:
 down
Now Playing: Froggie - The Presidents Of The United States Of America
Suppose I'll start with a brief exposition wherein I explain enough of the background story so any potential reader will have sufficient information to form an opinion. Two years ago, I was a senior and living in the dorms. On my floor was a beautiful girl who sadly, was already taken. Fast forward 8 months or so, and I meet a girl here on OKC who I dated mostly on, sometimes off until about May of this past year. Jump forward in time again to this August, the girl is no longer dating her boyfriend. I am no longer dating my girlfriend. We, along with another 2 mutual friends, decide to all move in together. Here, I think to myself, I've got an opportunity to see if maybe she'll warm up to me. I take my time, not trying to impose myself because that would be horribly awkward in a shared residence if it were to go wrong. Another jump of a month or so, and the 4th member (who could not move in) is now "dating" this interest of mine. I missed the boat it seems. I'm trying not to be awkward nor jealous, but it is all I can do to not walk out of the room whenever they're snuggled up together. Yet once again, I've failed myself. However, she is happy so I'm glad. She's had a hell of a year. And the person is one of my best friends, so I can't be miserable to him either. Its to the point that I'd really like to just move out so I'm not dishing out bad vibes because I'm a jealous/jilted lover who will never be. I really want to tell her how I've felt for the past two years, but I doubt that it would end well or provide me with the solace I seek. So I've basically got to keep my fucking yap shut, right? Fuck my life.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Breakups
Mood:
irritated
Now Playing: Air War - Crystal Castles
Is there no way to end a relationship in such a way that both parties are capable of being friends afterwards? Fucking frustrates me to no end. If you've got a solution or suggestion, I'd like to hear it.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Eyeclops V2
Mood:
 cool
Now Playing: Beachy Head [Bonobo Mix] - Mechanical Me
Get them. It is just that simple. We tried out both the V1 (Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell style) and the V2 (Binocular style) and the V2 blow the V1 out of the water. First, dual ocular pieces. It also boasts a manual focus adjust, an extra ring of IR-LEDs for extra brightness and the traditional IR+Color or IR (Green nightvision style). The clarity is amazing on this unit. I was able to read text in complete darkness and see easily up to about 60ft or so in pure darkness. It is also cool to look at some common objects in the IR spectrum. You know, see things in a different light (lulz). For instance, do you know what a Coke bottle label looks like in the IR? How about car tail-lights? Flowers? I've been running around all night looking at everything. It is awesome to finally have a lot of the EMR theory I have to work with come into comprehension and be able to SEE how it all works.
Monday, August 31, 2009
In Search Of..
Mood:
 mischievious
Now Playing: Feel Your Love - Kim Sozzi
The impossible female. Characteristics include: - Good / goofy sense of humor
- Worldly and not too conceited
- Okay with hanging out and doing movie nights
- Cute / pretty /beautiful (any comibination)
And the clincher... On a less emo-tastic note, I've had my first "date" in months this past Saturday. Got an EKG from a pretty cute nurse. I didn't have any opportunities for any really lame innuendos but oh man, I had a few ready. Nothing like a good laugh :P I've had lamer Saturday nights if you can believe that.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Anyone actually have a manageable Solo V-day?
Mood:
 not sure
Now Playing: Acid Poetry - Mindmachine
I spent mine doing mostly nothing at all. Let's see here, I watched two movies, ate some food, played some Xbox, and attempted to get a GIS project done. The movies were Sex Drive (hilarious) and The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008 version, not without it's own merits, but not amazing). Xbox was mostly Otogi. I suppose I wouldn't have minded spending it with someone I was attracted to or interested in, but she was spending the day elsewhere with someone else. Ah well, onwards and upwards, no?
Good Trance
Mood:
not sure
Now Playing: My My My (Feat. Tara McDonald) - Armand Van Helden
What is it about GOOD trance/electronica that makes it so able to evoke emotion? A well structured track is capable of moving me to the point of tears or making my heart race like before a big event. I can't tell if its the instruments, the structure, the tempo, the waveform or what, but I find it to be very powerful. Some good tracks that illustrate this for me are Angel Falls (Langes Firewall Mix) - Lange, The Real Y2K Bug - Trance[]Control, Sunset Girl - ATB, Good Morning Kaia - BT. I wish that one day, I can make a track like any one of these that can just lift someone up and take them away. I appreciate it guys, keep making the music happen.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Conundrum Of Choice
Mood:
 quizzical
Now Playing: Remind Me - Royksopp
Given the choice, what would you rather do? Lead a virtuous life, replete with it's many struggles and pains or lead a easy, satisfying, and fun life. If none of the above suits you, throw out your short description of what life you would lead. I am torn between giving up my pursuit of a virtuous life in favor of the easy life or trying to maintain and enhance what little virtue my life holds. It seems so tempting to give in to all the temptations of modern life and reveling in the hedonistic glory of it all but its so counter to what I feel.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Google is broken as of (1-31-09) @ (10:16 AM EST)
Mood:
cheeky
Now Playing: In The Shadows - Story Of The Year
Google Broken Screenshot The funny thing is, they aren't lying :P
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Clockwork Orange
Mood:
 rushed
Now Playing: Call To Arms - Harmonic 313
So I have to write a short paper about above mentioned film in which I pick 8 emotions, thoughts, behaviors of the characters in the film and analyze 4 using the methods of Freud/Jung and 4 using Learning Theory methods. Any help? It's due tomorrow lol.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I Think It May Be Love...
Mood:
 crushed out
Now Playing: Steppin' Razor - The Glitch Mob
Hardstyle, a genre/culture I never got into. But the more I see of it, the more interest I have. From this interest I found this video of Pae & Sarah shuffling. I do have to say I find her completely entrancing and I do have quite the e-crush on her. Keep it fluid Sarah... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDsDOlfz-QU (from 40s on to 1:26s)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Make The Right Choice
Now Playing: Starlight - Steve Brian
Vote All-Day Breakfast Party. Yes, you too can own the satisfaction of brinner daily if you only make sure to cast the right vote. The only vote. The Breakfast Vote. :D Gotta love NJ.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wrong Type of People
Now Playing: The Wars End - Rancid
Why must I attract the wrong type of people? By wrong type I mean girls that are actually involved in a relationship. This is not a situation I really like to find myself in, but this seems to be the only type (or stage) of girl that I'm able to attract. Is it because I offer counsel so readily, or because I'm not forward? Blarg, now to withstand the embatterment and hope my morals hold fast.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Velocity 17
Now Playing: Quasimodo - Ink; Loxy
Such epic win. Getting there was probably the most frustrating experience of my natural life. I've a portion of an un-natural life, but lets not go there.. Basically, it's pretty expensive. 20$ per person per round adds up very, VERY fast. However, the electric karts are absurdly fast and responsive and the track was a great deal of fun. I'm very impressed by the level of quality and control that was shown by the staff when operating the track. A wholly pleasant experience. The fact that I posted some damned good lap times and got a few free runs because of it (King Of The Track baby) has nothing to do with it ;) So yeah, I can not wait to go again. Perhaps this time I'll be able to find that exit the first time and not circle it for a good half hour again.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Skirmish Paintball = Win
Now Playing: Dreamchild - Johan Gielen
So, today I played my first "real" game of paintball with my friend and his little brother up at Skirmish in Jim Thorpe, PA.
The place was really well run, organized, and fully-featured. Sign in was quick, we got our waivers and equipment (for kev) and were out on the fields in under 30 mins. We played about 4 different fields and about 8-9 rounds by the time 5 rolled around.
Blue team dominated 8-1, and President won the president's style match on Turkey Hill. Glad I finally got to put my Tippy to good use, it's never seen a real match :D It's all too clear the stock barrel is of limited use, but I can't justify the 100$+ to get a nicer barrel like a Flatline or a J&J Ceramic.
I've some serious welts, someone was well over 280 FPS :\
Can't wait to do Stalingrad or Normandy, they seem like they'd be wicked fun.
Friday, August 15, 2008
GuiDO or GuiDONT?
Now Playing: Carpe Noctum [DJ Preach Remix] - DJ Tiesto
I meet atleast 3 of the basic criteria for being a Guido, and they are as follows: 1) Male 2) Italian 3) Born/raised in Jersey (North/Central bitches) ---------------- Additional Criteria (Bonus?): 4) I have a black, shiny button down ( I don't know how it got in my closet, but there it is) 5) My hair is capable of being spiked and frosted, and yes, with regret, I admit I had that "phase" once when I was younger. 6) I've used the word "bro" at least once in conversation before 7) I own a pair of sunglasses 8) I have a car, it has neons (inside the interior footwells, relax, it's tasteful) 9) My car is loud as hell (catalyst is clogged, maybe fixing this weekend) 10) I actually think I look cool when I'm around my car (Exhibit A, one of my OKC pictures -_-) Any others? I despise them so much, but I mean, all the signs are there. I may just be staving off the inevitable. I can't however, Frolic yet. I never did the party/club scene but my co-worker is a guipro at frolicking and he aims to teach me.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Zero Hour doth fast approach...
Now Playing: One Track Mind - Mayer Hawthorne
Two weeks and change until the start of my senior year of uni. I'm a bit terrified of the "real world" that follows, is this normal or am I just scaring myself? It seems like the job market is so flooded and depressed that I'll never be able to be gainfully employed... I also don't think I'm ready to be away from the campus, it's just this great nexus of all things social and otherwise. It's too easy to be there. Ah well, the next step of life, right?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Brotherhood of Painters?
Now Playing: Halfspeed Capsule Growth - Milieu
Somewhere in NYC I saw a building called the Brotherhood of Painters? I'm not 100% on this as I was booking up 14th toward 5th and 12th, but I'm fairly sure thats what it was. Anyway, it was a completely marble facade with a marble foyer. I saw no paint. Struck me as a bit odd that they wouldn't show off one of their core tenants but instead chose a rather nondescript window emblem to announce the organization. Oh yeah, also, the Strip House has amazing food and awesome ambiance. I'm glad I made the trip in to try it out. Hey, anyplace that plays Bitter:sweet is good in my book.
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