a free 4H theater script by Jeannette Jaquish
Back to TheaterFunScripts.com HomePage
Contact Jeannette Jaquish, playwright
Are You Smarter Than a 4-H’er?
by Jeannette Jaquish ©2013
with fill-in sections for the actors
Offered free by author if she is notified - www.theaterfunscripts.com.
You may adapt it to your group.
CAST (fewer Students and fewer Demonstrators may be used. Give their lines to the others.)
Host JIFFY-POP FOXWABBIT - (Has script on notecards to glance at - NOT READ. Keeps the show going!)
Contestant: SALTINA PEPPERDINE - (Very confident, show off, snobby)
(Students can use real names instead)
Student ANGUS -
Student BIANCA -
Student CALYPSO -
Student DAISY -
Student EMERALD -
4 DEMONSTRATORS - Act Out Questions, dressed as animals and other characters - make it funny!
Their animal noses and props are on a nearby table.
They also flip to the next question and update the score, and celebrate or act silly for right or wrong answers.
D1 - Question Flipper - Winning Answer Noise & Dance -
D2 - Question Flipper - Winning Answer Noise & Dance -
D3 - Scorekeeper - Point to, or circle, Correct answer on multiple choice when announced.
D4 - Scorekeeper -
---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---
SET - 5 Helper desks with name cards face audience on one side.
Giant flip board with all questions on its pages, at center or side.
Scoreboard on dry erase board with colored marker, either on a stand somewhere.
Center is the contestant’s podium and the Helper's shorter podium, and JiffyPop Foxwabbit stands nearby.
Actors face the audience, and turn to look at the questions.
---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---o---
The Show Begins:
MUSIC #1 as Host and Kids run on. (Parents in the audience scream up a storm.)
Singing: “Are you smarter than a 4-H’er?
Agriculture and Mother Nature,
Use your head and heart,
Are you smarter than a 4-H kid?”
FOXWABBIT - Hello, I’m Jiffy-Pop Foxwabbit and this is the show that let’s grown-ups earn 1 million dollars for their charity! All they have to do is prove that they are smarter than a 4-H’er, it’s that easy.
All right, let’s meet our Helping Hands!
MUSIC #2
(KIDS run out, waving & high-5ing, go to desks)
Angus, Bianca, Calypso, Daisy and Emerald! (Cheering)
Are you ready to meet our contestant?
KIDS - Yeah!
FOXWABBIT - She is a 30 year old lady who attended Higher UP Academy in Fort Defiance, Virginia. Welcome Saltina Pepperdine!
(SALTINA ENTERS with a big smile and waves to the audience, but when High-Fiving the kids, she deliberately misses touching their hands, causing one to fall over. She shakes hands with J.FOXWABBIT and waves to the audience again.)
FOXWABBIT - Now Saltina, I understand you have created Rooftop Livestock - an organization that is raising money to buy baby animals for big city kids to raise on their rooftops -- and all of your winnings today will go to that good cause. Welcome to our 4-H Workshop. Here are your new Helping Hand buddies.
KIDS - Hi! (wave)
FOXWABBIT - You get to pick one to be your Helping Hand and he or she can give you three cheats: Peek, Copy or Save if you answer wrong. (cheer) And just for this benefit show, you can use cheats all the way through the Million Dollar Bonus Question! (cheer) So pick a Helper and let’s get started.
SP - Oh, well, this is tricky. They are all so .... outdoorsy. Hmm Bianca, what a beautiful name. Do they ever call you Binky? Babyish nickname isn’t it? Let’s see, I’ll take that little guy there! (points to A) Come on down you cute little chicken rustler you.
(KIDS look at each other confused at this strange name-calling, but shrug and go back to smiling and cheering. ANGUS high-5’s SALTINA and runs to his place. SALTINA again is waving at the audience.)
FOXWABBIT - Please call the children by their names, Saltina.
SALTINA - Okey-dokie.
FOXWABBIT - Are you ready, Angus?
ANGUS - Ready!
FOXWABBIT - And now meet our Demonstrators and Scorekeepers! Names: __________________
____________________________________________________________________________
(DEMONSTRATORS run on waving - Cheering! They go to the Scoreboard and Question Board.)
Are you ready for your first question, Saltina?
SALTINA - I’m ready to win money for my organization!
- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -
INSTRUCTIONS:
FOXWABBIT runs the show: reads the question, reminds kids to write down their answer, and has the kids show their answers after Saltina’s. Study the TV show to get the pattern. It’s on Youtube.com.
ACTORS do not use a memorized script. Just act in character. Remember, they do not know if Saltina will answer right or wrong so they always look surprised. They react to everything as if it is new. Practice additional comments in rehearsal to find out what works, then write them into the script.
Write in DEMONSTRATORS any place they can act out a question, or hold up a picture or an object. -- For these add FOXWABBIT saying: “Presenters, Please!” before saying the question, to prompt them to come out. Put all their props labeled in order on a table nearby or backstage handy. They also flip to a new question, update the score and cheer and dance correct answers.
There are three "CHEATS": the Peek, Copy and Save.
-- Peek means she can look at her helpers answer and use it if she likes. -- Copy means she has to use the Helper's answer.
-- And Save means she got it wrong but her Helper got it right and "Saved" her.
Each of these CHEATS may only be used ONCE!
In this game, SALTINA gets all the questions correct but uses up her PEEK and her SAVE - you decide on which question she peeks and which she gets wrong and is saved by a save. This leaves the Copy for the last question.
In between questions, clues to her true identity are revealed in her conversations in the script. SALTINA can have a cheat sheet of her in-between conversations on her podium, that says “RULES” at the top.
- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -
QUESTIONS - You decide answers. Please improve or add details to these questions, also decide the demonstration:]
$1,000 1) How old do you need to be to join 4-H?........
A - 16 years
B - 5 years
C - 7 years
D - 25 years
FOXWABBIT - FoxRabbit -- Saltina and Angus you have 5 seconds to write down your answer…… (Saltina and Riley write down their answers) Riley show us your answer…Angus says: "C" - 7 years -- and Saltina, show us your answer….. The correct answer is "7 years old to join 4-H." You BOTH are correct -- good job!
For $2,000
Question #2. Lambs are usually born in the
A - Winter
B - Spring
C - Summer
D - Any time of year.
Answer:
(Answer....Score....)
FOXWABBIT - Congratulations, Saltina, You’ve earned $2,000. Thank you Angus. Time to pick a new Helping Hand.
SALTINA - A new Hungry Hungry Hippo Helping Hand, hmmm . I choose that one!
FOXWABBIT - Come on down, Bianca.
SALTINA - What? Oh, never mind. (Bianca is her real name)
FOXWABBIT - Ready to play, Bianca?
BIANCA - I’m ready!
SALTINA -
$5,000
#3. The 4-H motto is Head, Heart, Hands and what?
A - Health
B - Heaven
C - Hard Work
D - Happiness
Answer: A - Health! A lot of good choices to choose from!
(Answer....Score....)
$10,000
#4. What baby animals do not drink milk?
A - Foals
B - Calves
C - Goslings
D - Joeys
Answer: C - Goslings are baby geese, and birds do not drink milk.
(Answer....Score....)
FOXWABBIT - $10,000! This is amazing. You are sailing right through these. Did you stay up late studying?
SALTINA - Oh, no. The hotel bed was very comfortable and I got a great night’s sleep!
FOXWABBIT - Which hotel?
SALTINA - The Stardust Hotel. Right around the corner from the Rainbow Bakery on Maple Street.
FOXWABBIT - The Rainbow Bakery?
SALTINA - Yes.....
FOXWABBIT - The Rainbow Bakery closed 20 years ago. It’s a Dry Cleaners now.
SALTINA - Oh, my mistake! What’s the next question?
FOXWABBIT - Time to choose a new Helping Hand.
SALTINA - Another Handy Hamburger Helper. That one!
FOX WABBIT - In 4-H we don’t call each other teasing names, Saltina.
SALTINA - Is that a fact? OK, come on down Calypso! Are you ready?
CALYPSO - I’m ready!
$25,000
#5. The birth of the 4-H clubs were youth programs that taught new agricultural discoveries of the early 1900’s. The first groups were called “The Tomato Club” or “The Corn Growing Club”. Why was the focus on youth?
A - Most of the adult men were off at war.
B - Congress made 4-H a requirement for High School graduation.
C - It was illegal for children under 18 to work a job.
D - Adults were stubborn about learning new agricultural discoveries.
Answer: D - Adults were stubborn about learning new agricultural discoveries. Kids are more creative and experimental!
(Answer....Score....)
$50,000
#6. Which of these is NOT a 4-H program:
A - 4-H Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest
B - 4-H Film-making Studio and Workshop
C - 4-H Environmental Science and Alternative Energy programs
D - 4-H Robotics
Answer: A - 4-H Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest is not a 4-H program!
(Answer....Score....)
FOXWABBIT - You are up to $50,000 Saltina and you are doing great. Were you ever in 4-H?
SALTINA - Of course not! I don’t like dirt and shoveling stinky stuff.
FOXWABBIT - Well, some of us don’t mind. Pick a new Helping Hand, please.
SALTINA - Let’s see, just two left: How about Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer, do!
FOXWABBIT - A charming classic song. Are you ready, Daisy?
DAISY - I’m ready!
$100,000
#7. 4-H is found in
A - 17 countries
B - All the countries in North and South America
C - 70 countries
D - 700 countries
Answer: D - 70 countries, reaching the young people today who will be the farmers feeding the world 30 years from now.
(Answer....Score....)
$175,000
#8. What year did Jesse Field Shambaugh develop the clover pin with an H on each leaf?
A - 1890
B - 1900
C - 1910
D - 1920
Answer: C - 1910 Jesse Field Shambaugh created the clover pin, and by 1912 the clubs were called 4-H clubs.
(Answer....Score....)
$300,000
#9. In 1914, Congress passed the Smith-Lever Act, creating the USDA Cooperative Extension System which included the work of boys and girls active in agriculture and home economics clubs. What year were these named 4-H clubs with the clover emblem?
A - 1916
B - 1924
C - 1933
D - 1940
FOXWABBIT - You are up to $300,000 for your organization, Saltina! Do you want to stop now or risk losing it.
SALTINA - I’m no quitter. And I never forget.
FOXWABBIT - Then let’s bring in Emerald, your last Helping Hand! Ready to go, Emerald?
EMERALD - I’m ready!
$500,000
#10. W. I. N. G. S. is a 4-H program of 4-H’ers to observe butterfly populations and migration. What are non-scientists who gather scientific data called?
A - Amateur Investigators
B - Skywatchers
C - Data Hounds
D - Citizen Scientists
Answer: D - Citizen Scientists. It’s easy and fun to join.
(Answer....Score....)
FOXWABBIT - Truly amazing, Saltina! You are up to $500,000. No one has ever gotten this far.
SALTINA - Well, I am very driven, Jiffy.
FOXWABBIT - To earn money for your organization.
SALTINA - Yeah, yeah, the organization.
D1 - Excuse me, I have a question.
SALTINA - We don’t have time, kid.
FOXWABBIT - We certainly do have time. What is your question, (name:)____________________?
D1 - Do you have grass on top of the buildings for the baby animals?
SALTINA - What baby animals?
D2 - The baby animals your organizations buys for the big city kids.
SALTINA - Oh, THOSE baby animals. Yeah, sure, uh... we bring up sod in the elevator and lay it out on the roof.
D3 - On just one building or lots of them.
SALTINA - Uh, yeah, lots of them. Could we get on with the game, Mr. Foxwabbit???
D4 - Did you get permission to put the animals up there?
SALTINA - Yeah, of course. The Mayor gave me a key to the city.
D1 - My dad says too much snow will make a roof sag. Does the grass get heavy?
SALTINA - Will you be quiet you Cornball Looney Tunes!
ALL - GASP!
FOXWABBIT - Miss Pepperdine! You will not insult the children!
SALTINA - Sorrrrry!
FOXWABBIT - And I have some questions as well. Is your organization real?
SALTINA - No it isn’t, Sherlock! I made it up, but too bad because there was nothing in the contract about making up a charity. Let’s play the game!
D2 - Why are you so angry?
KIDS - Yeah, Why????
SALTINA - Why am I angry? I’ll tell you why. I was in 4-H. Twenty years ago.
My parents moved us out to this hick town to expose me to sunshine and chores and to make new friends. But I hated it. They made me join 4-H and bought me a baby goat and I named her Priscilla, but the other kids picked on me because I was new. They called me scaredy-cat because I was afraid of my baby goat and got sick to my stomach cleaning up after her. At the fair, two girls pretended to be my friend and told me to groom my goat for the show ring so I said to myself, “I know how to do that!” I put bows on her ears and tail and mane, and lipstick and rouge and fake eyelashes on her face. I put fingernail polish on her hooves. I painted flowers and designs on her with makeup. She was so beautiful! -- Everyone stared as we walked to the ring. Then two men, two officials walked by and said, “That kid needs a bath!” and I realized I was sweaty and dirty from working on Priscilla. I started to cry and couldn’t stop. When I walked her into the ring everyone laughed and pointed at me because I was crying and dirty. I left my goat and ran out of the arena, and out of the fairgrounds, and all the way home, and I refused to go back. I cried until my parents agreed to move to another town and we did! I grew up in the big city where people don’t have to shovel poop! And now I’m going to answer this Million Dollar Question and keep the money for myself!
KIDS (all yelling at once) - She’s a liar! Don’t give her any money! She cheated!
FOXWABBIT - The contract is signed. We have to follow the rules.
ANGUS - But Mr. Foxwabbit, She’s A CHEATER!
BIANCA - She’s not going to use the money to buy baby animals for city kids to raise on the tops of tall buildings.
SALTINA - I do too! I give children EGGS - “baby chickens” -- Ha Ha - and I tell them if they make a nest and leave it in the sun, it will hatch! Ha Ha!
KIDS - Ewwww! Rotten eggs! Stinky!
SALTINA - Serves them right! Serves you right! (points to audience) Serves all of you right! All you 4-H kids are the same - rotten like rotten eggs!
CALYPSO - Wait! Mrs. Pepperdine! Don’t you know what those girls meant by “groom a goat”?
It means to wash and brush the goat.
DAISY - And clean her ears.
EMERALD - And make sure she is healthy.
Not put on lipstick and makeup!
SALTINA - Then why didn’t anyone tell me? How about those 4-H officials that made fun of me? (talks in mans voice) “That kid needs a bath!”
D1 - Do you know what a baby goat is called?
SALTINA - Is this the million dollar question? A FAWN! Everyone knows that! I win!
D2 - No, A baby goat is called A KID! Those men were saying your GOAT needs a bath!
KIDS - Your GOAT! Not you!
D3 & 4 - They were trying to HELP you!
SALTINA - Huh?? Well,.... So what! Gimme that Million Dollar Question. I wanna get out of here!
FOXWABBIT - I guess we will. There are only 2 more minutes left in the show.
Presenters, Please!
(DEMONSTRATORS: D1 & D2 come out holding up curtain hiding D3 & D4 (the mystery animals) behind it.)
Here’s the Million Dollar Question: “What is the common name for all species of Cavie?”
SALTINA - Cavie? Is this a fake question? Cavities are in teeth! Is the answer “Germ”? This is sabotage! None of those kids know the answer.
KIDS - Yes, we do!
FOXWABBIT - You have one cheat left. The COPY.
SALTINA - You’re trying to trick me! They’ll give the wrong answer. Just like those other kids.
D1- Mrs. Pepperdine! Some kids ARE bullies.
D2- But not all!
DAISY - I’m sorry they teased you.
KIDS - We’re all sorry.
FOXWABBIT - You have 10 seconds Saltina Pepperdine. Will you answer or Copy? Write down your answer kids.
“What is the common name for all species of Cavie?” 10, 9, 8. . (continues SLOWLY counting)
(KIDS look at each other whispering deciding whether to give the right answer, then write)
SALTINA - Oh, oh. I don’t know what to do! (asks audience) Is a kid really a baby goat?
AUDIENCE - Yes!
FOXWABBIT - 4, 3, 2, 1
SALTINA - Copy! (hits button)
FOXWABBIT - Copy! (to the audience) Will the kids give the true answer to help this cheater win?
(to the kids) Remember the 4-H motto kids: Head, Heart, Hands and Health. And Honest surrounds them all. Do any of you want to change your answer?
KIDS (Look at each other, then shake their heads) No!
FOXWABBIT - Saltina, which Helping Hand do you choose?
SALTINA - Umm umm umm... Show them all and let me choose!
FOXWABBIT - That’s not in the rules. (to everyone) Should I let her?
EVERYONE - Yes!
FOXWABBIT - OK, All of you are Helping Hands for the Million Dollar Question! Show your answers in 3, 2, 1, GO!
KIDS - (turning over cards reading “Guinea Pigs”) - Guinea Pigs!
SALTINA - Guinea pigs!! No fair! You let them whisper the wrong answer to each other!
FOXWABBIT - Rules are rules, Miss Saltina Pepperdine! You copied their answer and so youuuuuuu JUST WON ONE MILLION DOLLARS.....
(No cheering. silence)
SALTINA - I’m a millionaire! Hooray!!! (jumps up and down, then stops and looks very sad) Then why am I not happy?
FOXWABBIT - I’m proud of you kids.
SALTINA - I don’t want the money! Throw it back into the pot!
KIDS - Hooray! (run out to hug SALTINA and dance onstage)
FOXWABBIT - Saltina Pepperdine! You have won the game and won our hearts! What do you get to say?
SALTINA - I’m Saltina Pepperdine and I am smarter than a 4-H’er! - NOT! But Who Cares! I have friends!
FOXWABBIT - Thank you and tune in next week! I am Jiffy-Pop Foxwabbit saying Goodbye!
(ALL run offstage yelling and waving happily.)
The First Cast!
top row L to R: Riley, Malory, Aubrie, Sydney, and director Julie Harris who is also mother of Aubrie,
bottom row L to R: Karsen, Kanyen, Teja, Ava.
They won a blue ribbon in this 4-H contest in Kingman County, Kansas.
Here is an extra 4-H question:
#. What baked item listed below is NOT eligible to taken to the county fair?
A - apple pie
B - chocolate chip cookies
C - red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting
D - caramels
FoxRabbit -- Saltina and Karsen you have 5 seconds to write down your answer……
FoxRabbit -- Karsen show us your answer……(FoxRabbit read her answer) -- and Saltina show us your answer….. The correct answer is "C" red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting -- baked items taken to the county fair must be non-perishable (do not need refrigeration). You BOTH are correct again - amazing!
